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Have we discussed screaming in the car seat, yet?

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 

 Morgann HATES her car seat with a purple passion. She screams and screams and screams. When she's done screaming, she cries and then screams again. I hate it. I know this is so common for newborns. My Ds screamed in his seat non-stop for his first few months of life. I've tried everything; white noise, windows down, windows up, singing, music (religious chants, classical, jazz, Bowie, showtunes, rock, Eminem - you name it), talk radio, toys dangling from the garment hooks, prayer....nothing soothes her. I removed the cushioned strap wing things that came with the seat. No help. I removed the infant insert. Nope. It's a convertible seat - a Britax Roundabout 55 - and it fits her fine. I can't figure it out. No reflux issues. I nurse her before we get in the car and change her. I stop at stores and nurse her. No luck. Nothing helps. And it drives me insane. Avoiding car trips is a no-go. DH has an optic nerve issue and temporarily can't drive. That means I drive him to work. I pick him up, too, if he can't carpool. Ds has school so that's two trips. Plus there are trips to the YMCA for Ds classes and other errands. And, honestly, I would be depressed if I didn't get out. I hate my apartment and sitting home makes me feel so blah. But, the screaming kills me. I know it's not technically CIO, but I feel like I'm damaging her.

 

Sigh. Just venting. This breaks my heart.

post #2 of 17

I was about to post a status update about this on FB.  Finn HATES the car.  I think in all the trips we've taken he hasn't cried bloody murder once.  I HATE IT!! I hate to think about how he feels back there.  It's awful awful awful!!  Nora wasn't like this, she loved her carseat and loved car rides.  It was how I'd get her to nap some days -- drive down the highway.  Idk what I'm going to do this time around!!

post #3 of 17

Could your DH sit in the back with her and touch her? Ella screams, but if I can sit back with her and hold her face and talk to her, she calms down. I know that wouldnt help when hes not with you, but maybe it will help some?

 

My other suggestion was taking her out of the infant bucket, and into a more upright seat (that helped with our DS2 ...) but I see shes not in a bucket.

post #4 of 17

we are going the opposite direction here...she used to sleep the minute we put her in her car seat. Lately she cries unless the car is in motion...people stare as I slow down a while back and slowly idle towards the red light to buy time. If this keeps getting worse (as it has been increasing), I think we are in trouble too.

 

if you cannot have the DH sit in the back, can you put a recently worn shirt of yours at close proximity so your smell is right there? I am not sure how the car smells affect her ability to smell you while you are driving. This is the only thing I can think of.

post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by elove View Post

if you cannot have the DH sit in the back, can you put a recently worn shirt of yours at close proximity so your smell is right there? I am not sure how the car smells affect her ability to smell you while you are driving. This is the only thing I can think of.


We have two carseats in the back so no room for an adult to squeeze in the middle, but I like the idea of the mommy-smell giving comfort.

 

post #6 of 17

We're having this issue too. She's fine if I'm sitting back there with her but if it is just me and her she screams and cries the whole way. It's awful. I feel like I'm damaging her by letting her scream and cry, which I obviously don't do any other time. Like you MrsMike, I've tried everything, singing, talking, radio, once she gets going there is no stopping her. I'm hoping this will get better with time? I'm going to try the blanket with my smell, anyone have any other tricks?

post #7 of 17
Magnolia likes her carseat pretty well, even if we aren't moving. She's only screamed once and that was when she was hungry. I think it helps that DH drives and I ride in the backseat with her. I'm worried though- because he is leaving soon and I don't drive. 4-6 weeks after he leaves we are having a family member fly out and drive us all back to Georgia. So she is going to go over a month without being in the seat at all and then go on a 18-20 roadtrip. I have a feeling there will be trouble, I'm really hoping not though.
post #8 of 17

No great suggestions here.  DD also really doesn't like the car.  If we can time it so that she's about to fall asleep, changed, and full of boob sauce, then she'll do okay with a pacifier.  But that's assuming we can time it just right, which often doesn't work.

 

It's so SO much harder when you need to go somewhere at a certain time (like driving your DH to work or appointments), vs. just a trip to the grocery store.  I HATE hearing her cry like that, and 9 trips out of 10 we don't have the option of timing things *perfectly* around her, we just have to go. greensad.gif

post #9 of 17

Ada absolutely hates her carseat.  Sara Beth did really well with hers which was good b/c we were constantly going somewhere when she was little.  Ada will do much better if we are moving but that's it, even me back there trying to calm her won't work.  I can't say I blame her, they all just look so uncomfortable.

post #10 of 17
It is getting better at 2 months but only if I time the trips perfectly. Which means we spend even more time sitting waiting because it was the right time for baby but. The wrong time to pick up another kid. Thank goodness we have a DVD player in the car...
post #11 of 17

OMG, this is me too! I hate going anywhere at all because he screams all the way there, but I also have total cabin fever. My folks are visiting, so we've ended up going out a lot more and it's been tough. 

 

Yesterday we drove 5 miles and I had to stop halfway through and feed him (even though he wasn't hungry). Stopped crying and even gave a little smile, then screamed the second he got back in the car. Ugh! Breaks my heart! 

 

He doesn't have reflux and we have an upright seat. There isn't any difference if I sit in the back with him, and no difference now that we've put a mirror and toys for him to look at either.  We are introducing a paci this week (and bottles too), so hopefully if he takes one that will help. Anyone else have other tips, or do we just have to wait until they grow out of it?

 

Also, how long do you keep driving while it happens? At one point, I thought it was probably better to hurry up and get home, rather than prolong the 'torture' by stopping. What's your opinion?

post #12 of 17

I've never had a full time carseat screamer, but I have had a long drive with a friend's carseat screamer (and no room for an adult to sit in the back), and Finn had a phase that was misery, but it was a short term thing, fortunately! I sympathize completely with those of you who are trying to get places with those darling little screamers!

 

To make sure they are both as comfortable & as safe as possible ....

 

No matter what kind of carseat you've got, they should be about 45degrees reclined until our babes get better head control, as they are designed to work that way to protect their neck/spine/airways.

 

Make sure the straps are coming from below (or at, but NOT from above) their shoulders (for rearfacing). That fits them better and keeps them safe. If your seat came with shoulder strap pads, use them. If it didn't, you can cut the toes off some baby socks and put the resulting 'tubes' around the straps to keep the edges more comfortable for baby.

 

If your seat (check your manual) can have the handle in the 'up' position, you could hang some soft music chime type toys there, to hopefully distract baby from the screaming! Make sure they are soft, and make certain it's a safe way for your car seat to be.

 

SING! That is the only thing that worked during Finn's very brief car-misery phase. Anything, but he was partial to silly rhyming children's songs. Talking to him didn't work, only singing (and I have no idea, as I'm certain my singing voice isn't that great!)

post #13 of 17

Veianya and I are not fans of the car right now either.  She likes her seat ok...as long as I am carrying it around.  She likes the car rides ok...as long as the car never stops moving.  But during every.single.red light, she screams her head off.  Then she stops the second the car gets moving again.  Very hard on the nerves.  I make a 45 minute drive back and forth between my mom's house and here about twice a week.  Luckily that has gone ok each time.  But I fear the day she stops sleeping so much and will just scream for that entire ride.  cold.gif

post #14 of 17

DS2 has only been in the car 3 times so far. (We don't get out much) He hates getting put in the car seat and will cry as soon as he goes in it. He will stop once the car is moving, but start again whenever the car stops, so we hate red lights too.

 

DS1 was a car screamer for about the first 4 months of his life. He would cry until he got so exhausted he fell asleep, and no timing/feeding would make any difference. It was really tough to go anywhere with DS1, so I feel for those who are currently going through this.

 

We have 2 car seats and a small car, so there is no way one of us could sit in the back right now. I do like the idea of using a blanket/diaper that smells of me to comfort DS2, but then he might expect to get fed, and then cry because his mouth is empty.

post #15 of 17
Thread Starter 

 I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this. Well, not glad, but you know what I mean. Hopefully, our babies outgrow this soon. This wouldn't display everything I chose for multi-quotes. Is there is a limit on how many posts you can quote? Anyway:

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisastrickland View Post

Could your DH sit in the back with her and touch her? Ella screams, but if I can sit back with her and hold her face and talk to her, she calms down. I know that wouldnt help when hes not with you, but maybe it will help some?


He can't fit back there. We have a small car - a Nissan Versa - and there isn't room with the two seat. DS is back there, too, most of the time and he tries to sing to her or rattle something to get her attention. I don't think she can see him that well at this point, though. She's so tiny and her sit is so big and I think it partially blocks her view of him.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Italiamom View Post

No great suggestions here.  DD also really doesn't like the car.  If we can time it so that she's about to fall asleep, changed, and full of boob sauce, then she'll do okay with a pacifier.  But that's assuming we can time it just right, which often doesn't work.

 

It's so SO much harder when you need to go somewhere at a certain time (like driving your DH to work or appointments), vs. just a trip to the grocery store.  I HATE hearing her cry like that, and 9 trips out of 10 we don't have the option of timing things *perfectly* around her, we just have to go. greensad.gif


Yes, that totally sucks. I feel bad that I have to grab her and go, no matter what, because we're on a timeline.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

 

Yesterday we drove 5 miles and I had to stop halfway through and feed him (even though he wasn't hungry). Stopped crying and even gave a little smile, then screamed the second he got back in the car. Ugh! Breaks my heart! 

 

He doesn't have reflux and we have an upright seat. There isn't any difference if I sit in the back with him, and no difference now that we've put a mirror and toys for him to look at either.  We are introducing a paci this week (and bottles too), so hopefully if he takes one that will help. Anyone else have other tips, or do we just have to wait until they grow out of it?

 

Also, how long do you keep driving while it happens? At one point, I thought it was probably better to hurry up and get home, rather than prolong the 'torture' by stopping. What's your opinion?

 

I'll do that, too, if I have time. I'll pull over into a parking lot and nurse her. After I drop DH off at work or DS off at school, I'll park and nurse. I figure it might help a little. But the second her little butt touches that seat she gives me this little pouty face and starts the crying. I've wondered the same thing about stopping to feed vs. just trying to get home as soon as possible. I've done both.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by SynEpona View Post

 

To make sure they are both as comfortable & as safe as possible ....

 

No matter what kind of carseat you've got, they should be about 45degrees reclined until our babes get better head control, as they are designed to work that way to protect their neck/spine/airways.

 

Make sure the straps are coming from below (or at, but NOT from above) their shoulders (for rearfacing). That fits them better and keeps them safe. If your seat came with shoulder strap pads, use them. If it didn't, you can cut the toes off some baby socks and put the resulting 'tubes' around the straps to keep the edges more comfortable for baby.

 

If your seat (check your manual) can have the handle in the 'up' position, you could hang some soft music chime type toys there, to hopefully distract baby from the screaming! Make sure they are soft, and make certain it's a safe way for your car seat to be.

 

SING! That is the only thing that worked during Finn's very brief car-misery phase. Anything, but he was partial to silly rhyming children's songs. Talking to him didn't work, only singing (and I have no idea, as I'm certain my singing voice isn't that great!)


I'm going to put the shoulder strap pads back on. I took them off because I thought they may have made her uncomfortable. I'll see if it makes a difference. She is at 45 degrees. I was hoping that would prevent it in the first place. I remember that DS' first carseat - a bucket - didn't seem to recline enough and I had hoped that using this convertible, which reclines, would prevent the whole car seat crying in the first place.  I have a toy hanging from the garment hook. Maybe I'll switch it out for one that makes noise. I wish she could hold toys so she'd have something with her to look at.

I think I'll try singing again. When DS was a screamer, the ONLY thing that eventually worked was the ABC song. I used to have to sing it over and over and over and over during every trip. And it had to be the ABC song. No humming. No Twinkle Twinkle Little Star even though it's the same melody. Maybe I'll give that one a shot.



Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady View Post

Veianya and I are not fans of the car right now either.  She likes her seat ok...as long as I am carrying it around.  She likes the car rides ok...as long as the car never stops moving.  But during every.single.red light, she screams her head off.  Then she stops the second the car gets moving again.  Very hard on the nerves.  I make a 45 minute drive back and forth between my mom's house and here about twice a week.  Luckily that has gone ok each time.  But I fear the day she stops sleeping so much and will just scream for that entire ride.  cold.gif

Oh we HATE red lights. She will stop or slow down her crying now and then when I'm moving. The second I apply any pressure to the break or even just let up on the gas she knows it...and she screams. I live in a little suburban town with lots of poorly timed traffic lights. She does okay on the highway when we visit my parents. That's a 30 minute stretch of no lights, so she usually calms then, but she starts right back up as soon as I go through the tolls.

 

I like the suggestion to put something of mine with her. I will have to try it.

Thank you!!!
 

 

post #16 of 17

DS hates cars too! It is sooo frustrating because he is my first who was this way. My other 3 loved the car and fell asleep right away. I just let DS cry most of the time since it's usually short distances. Next week we are moving to California though(from Georgia!), so I'm dreading that trip. I reeeeeally hope he gets over his hatred of cars seats in the next week..... 

post #17 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by love4bob View Post

DS hates cars too! It is sooo frustrating because he is my first who was this way. My other 3 loved the car and fell asleep right away. I just let DS cry most of the time since it's usually short distances. Next week we are moving to California though(from Georgia!), so I'm dreading that trip. I reeeeeally hope he gets over his hatred of cars seats in the next week..... 


Oh my! That is one heck of a trip. Here's to hoping he learns to love the car in this next week!

 

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