believer in child-led weaning now having problems

[silvermist]

I 100% beleive in child-led weaning. My nearly 4 yr old is still needing to nurse (she has some sensory integration disabilities and nursing helps her with that but before we even knew about this problem we believed in listening to a child about weaning.) I gutted it out during pregnancy- it hurt physically but I still felt emotionally fulfilled by being there for her in this way (she and I have had discussions about weaning and she does not feel ready.)

Now that I have a 2 week old and posibly PPD is setting in, I emotionally can't deal w/ nursing my older babe!

I am shocked at my feelings. Will this sudden falling out of love with breastfeeding my older child go away? Is it because I'm depressed? I hate feeling this way and want to enjoy nursing my daughter until she feels ready to let go.

[ZoraP]

Hang in there! Get help if you think you're having postpartum issues of any kind. But also be aware that it's completely normal to feel the way you do right now. I had my second child when my first was just turning three (and still an avid daily nurser). I too toughed it out during pregnancy, during which my toddler nursed every day (including when I was in labor and right after delivery!). But after my new baby was born I found nursing the toddler to be nearly intolerable. I did have to limit her to one side only a couple of times a day because nursing her just made my skin crawl. But then there were times the two of them would nurse together and hold hands, and it was a beautiful thing.

Long story short, we tandem nursed for over a year and a half, until the older one self-weaned somewhere around four and a half. I don't regret it in the least, although I did really have to deal with my own negative feelings about it, especially when the younger one was little.