Childcare Issue with Rest time - Need ideas

[UrbanMamma]

Hi all.  Long time lurker here but know you mamas will have some experience/ideas.

My nearly 4 year old has just started all day (6 hours a day) preschool at the campus child development center.  The biggest issue seems to be rest time.  He gave up his nap around 2.5 (I know, early, but napping was wrecking bed time) and currently sleeps 7:30-7:30 without a nap.  In the past, he's always attended a morning nursery school, so not an issue.  But now our new center has a 'rest time' from 12:45-2pm.  They don't require that he naps, but they do require they lay down for at least 1 hour.  This usually results in him falling asleep for 40 minutes.  Even if it is only for 15 minutes, he is now resisting evening bed time for about 2 hours.  By Thursday, the 1.5 hour sleep deficit per day is killing him (and me).  I really love this place (Reggio based, wonderful teachers, wonderful facilities, etc) and I want/need to make it work.  But my child is starting to resist going to school because (1) he hates rest time and (2) he is over tired and therefore contrary to EVERYTHING.

I know a lot of centers have quiet time policies and that different places do different things as the kid transitions out of naps.  How has the transition to no nap gone for your kid?  What do they do during rest time? They currently allow one book to go to the mat... but he bores of looking at it 10 minutes in.  I think I might be able to talk the teachers into a quiet activity as long as he can stay on his mat and as long as it doesn't involve electronics.  I'm thinking about asking if I can bring in 5 books, putting them in a special bag so he can easily take them all to his mat, changing them out every week?  Any better ideas?

[One_Girl]

I suggest looking for a half day program that doesn't offer naps if you have the option to do only half days.  I ran into this problem with my dd when she transitioned out of naps and found that this was really our only option.  Some directors will say that the kids can read a book or do quiet activities after a certain amount of time, but that typically isn't something that the teachers actually allow them to actually do.

[UrbanMamma]

Thanks for the reply.  Half day isn't an option (another room and no space... I've been on a waiting list for over 2 years for this place and have no viable backup at this point) plus I really need the 6 hours a day to finish a dissertation before baby # 2 comes. 

I am working with the teachers directly who I've found absolutely wonderful in every other way.  Their first response upon orientation was 'many kids who don't nap at home actually nap in this environment because it is a busy day, we keep the room really quiet (for our barely 3-year-olds in the class who frankly do need naps), etc.'   I was really generous at first by saying, ok, let's see what happens and give it a few weeks.  BUT, I've also been, with their help, doing a daily log.  They are seeing the daily sleep deficit and its effects.  I can't let him sleep later in the AM due to THEIR drop-off time preferences.  So I think they are ready to at least explore an alternative.  I really just need to feel confident that the alternative I suggest has a chance of actually working.

[emilysmama]

Originally Posted by UrbanMamma 
 BUT, I've also been, with their help, doing a daily log.  They are seeing the daily sleep deficit and its effects.  I can't let him sleep later in the AM due to THEIR drop-off time preferences.  So I think they are ready to at least explore an alternative.  I really just need to feel confident that the alternative I suggest has a chance of actually working.

Show the daycare your log, if you haven't already.  

Actually, you don't need to feel confident.  You just have to try it, whatever "it" is.  When you suggest your alternative to the daycare, just say that you want to give it a 2 week trial, and after two weeks, you and the daycare will evaluate how well it is (or isn't) working and go from there.

Would a stack of books keep your child interested and quiet for long enough?  It would for some children at that age, but many children aren't that interested in books at that age.  So maybe also consider puzzles and toys from home?

[JudiAU]

Many states have laws governing how quiet time/rest time is handled. They may not have a choice. This may also be the break period for the teachers.

The napping issue didn't work for us at our Reggio preschool (although he could play quietly outside) and so now he eats lunch and our nanny picks him up. It actually works much better for us. It was a long day, he didn't need to be there (other childcare) and he didn't want to be there all day.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

Many states have laws governing how quiet time/rest time is handled. They may not have a choice. This may also be the break period for the teachers.

We ran into this issue this year with my almost 5y at a play based preschool, we had the exact same problem, any little nap caused her not to sleep at night until late. In our state, the preschool is required to give every child a rest break if there after lunch. How it is handled depends on the school/day care. Now she can lay on her cot with a several books for 30-45 minutes until the other children are asleep and then she allowed to get up and do a "Kinder Club" with the teacher, which is just working on counting and ABC's since she is the oldest and the only non-napper. It is still her least favorite time of the day and so once a week we have a special day where the nanny or grandma picks her up right after lunch.

[UrbanMamma]

I wish I could afford to have someone pick him up and we really need the longer day of care. Plus, he loves the extra playground and snack time after rest time. 

How interesting that this is often a state law issue.  I would have never considered that even though I'm a policy/reg wonk! 

My son MELTED down yesterday am causing the teacher to approach me about the issue.  I explained in detail the sleep deficit issue and we both agreed this is not good for ANYONE (boy, them or me).  We decided to give multiple books a try.  He does have to stay on his mat for at least 1 hr.  He was so tired yesterday that he finally got to sleep at a decent time.  So, I'm headed over there right now to help implement the new system.  I'll check back next week to report how it is going.

[Ragana]

Our DD2 also gave up naps around that same age, and we had EXACTLY the same problem. DD2 would fall asleep for a short time and then be up until 11pm! But DH needed the full day of care for doing his school work. I seriously could have written that post. We had to insist that the school let her read books and draw instead of lay down. Good luck! It sounds like they're at least willing to work with you.

[UrbanMamma]

It is so good to see that others have had this problem.  Logically I know I'm not alone, but sometimes it feels that way IYKWIM.  It seems like most people make the transition into 'full time' care earlier than nearly 4 so the transition happens within the program a bit more organically.  I am so pleased I got to spend his first 4 years of afternoons together, but goodness if this doesn't feel bumpy.

I think MY anxiety about this is heightened by pregnancy hormones which is exactly why I need this to work.  Arrggh.  At least the teachers seem reasonable.

[LilMomma83]

It is probably state mandated, but, maybe there is a compermise - like you can bring him a special activity bag or something...when I worked in childcare last year we let one child do that because she truly did not seem to need naps - and when she was tired she would just put her bag under her cot and go to sleep. ....that said we are having the opposite problem with our 4 year old, he is in afternoon preschool (half day) and because he is not napping he is terribly out of sorts at night....I guess there is no win for everyone no matter what!

[D_McG]

Hope it works out!  When people mourn the loss of the nap in their 5 year old or whatever I always feel so 'wtf'.  Napping is a bad word in our house after the age of 2!  Even a 10 minute car nap has my son up 3 hours after his bedtime.  It's awful.  Glad I'm not alone :)

[UrbanMamma]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Hope it works out!  When people mourn the loss of the nap in their 5 year old or whatever I always feel so 'wtf'.  Napping is a bad word in our house after the age of 2!  Even a 10 minute car nap has my son up 3 hours after his bedtime.  It's awful.  Glad I'm not alone :)

I hear you.  My favorite is the parent commenting they couldn't get through the day as an attentive parent if their preschooler didn't nap.  I know that is probably true for them, but since a nap shifts fall asleep time from 7:30 to 10 or 10:30 (and one of us still has to lay down with him), I can assure you that I am a crappy parent from about 7pm on when a nap happens because he is so ramped up and I KNOW my personal evening is wrecked.  I'll take negotiating a little down time where I can veg for 20 minutes in the afternoon for an earlier bedtime!

Just goes to show you that each child is different though.  My mom reports I didn't nap even though my other siblings did past a similar age.  Maybe it is genetic?

As an update, I went and helped him navigate the 1 hour 15 minutes rest time on Friday and Monday.  What I found by sitting next to him reading my own book was that even though he will sit quietly and read with us for literally hours, he just quickly flips through the pages of a book when left to his own devices.  So, I've been coaching him on that.  I also found a small laminate train I made years ago where each car has a different letter that he can manipulate on his mat.  What really seems promising though is that I made a 'schedule' for him that included pictures of the clock face every 15 minutes or so with a different written/picture prompt (do some maze workbook, read a couple of books, play with train, go potty, read 3 more books).  Because he is an early reader who has always been obsessed with the clock face and time, I think it will help him manage this long block of time better AND help him feel that rest time doesn't 'take forever.'.  He ran in to show the schedule to his teachers first thing this morning, so here is hoping it works!  Today he has to do it on his own... we shall see.

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As far as I know, it's state mandated in all states.  I've never heard of it being optional anywhere.

I do the "state mandated" nap...but, I turn on a movie so those who don't need a nap can sleep.  Honestly though, about half of my daycare kids will completely wreck the rest of the day for us if they don't nap....so, allowing a few to stay up all afternoon would be a nightmare here.  

They don't have to sleep..they just have to be quiet so everybody else can sleep.

There are TONS of blogs and websites and pinterest ideas for kids who need a quiet time, but don't need a nap.  I think that if you make some "Quiet time bags" for him, and bring him a new bag each day of the week, everyone will be happy.

http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2009/03/quiet-time-bins.html