Queer and Pregnant: October, November and December - Page 3

[starling&diesel]

NAK

Hi again all, just dropping in to say that I'm following along and sending hellos and thoughts to you all.

Still no name, but will share it here when he let's us know.  Struggling with low supply again, but at least I know how to handle it.

Love Alice the Bat!

xo

[mami2mami]

Starling-Glad to hear all is well love the pics he is cute!How is big sis with her new lil brother?

Library-Alice looks too cute!

[seraf]

Starling, how big is he? I didn't see where you said. And I'm just curious. Also, at 2 days PP how can you have low supply? You shouldn't be making anything more than colostrum yet, right? Both my kids nursed like they were starving (you know, nursing 23 hours a day) until my milk came in around day 3.

[justrose13]

starling, I agree... isn't it too early to worry about supply? I don't think my milk came in until day 3 or 4... at any rate, I'm glad you know how to handle it if it's truly true. much love.

[MrsPP]

Thread crashing to say CONGRATULATIONS STARLING!!! He is perfect. Enjoy! 

[starling&diesel]

Seraf ... he was 8 pounds, so it certainly wasn't his size that held him back.  The midwife was astonished that he turned the *wrong* way in the third stage of labour.  We were so close!  He was heading down (she could feel his head in ROA position) but then he changed directions.  I swear, every contraction felt like I was being hurtled against a brick wall. 

Low supply ... he's already down 8 percent, so we'll see where he is today when the midwife comes to check on him.  I'm doing the herbs and will likely add the domperidone today.  His diaper output is not great either.  My gut says we're going to have to supplement again.  Oh well.  No big deal, really.   What milk I did make with E didn't come until day 6, so perhaps there is some room for improvement there.  The great thing is that because I'm still nursing E, my nipples are doing great! 

Thanks to everyone for their congratulations!  He's lovely, really.  And it's so great to be home.  I am in a huge amount of pain though.  When the hell does that get better, wehrli? 

[justrose13]

Starling, if i remember correctly the severe pain lasted a few days... i think i slept in the recliner for a couple of weeks due to the fact that i couldn't get out of bed or sit up to nurse in the middle of the night. DP would bring me the baby all night when he needed to nurse (he was sleeping next to her in the co-sleeper). i think i was sore and had a hard time sitting from laying, standing from sitting and even rolling over in bed for a few months. quite lame... i know. are you taking anything for the pain? i was taking ibuprofen around the clock for about a week, at least. and a half of their recommended dose of percoset when it was really bad... i still have some left though, so i didn't take many. are you clutching a blanket or pillow to your belly when you walk around to keep from feeling like your insides will just fall out of your gut? it helped me immensely! i also didn't pick DS up (DP always handed him to me) for a good while. don't push yourself or recovery will take that much longer!

[seraf]

Starling,, I didn't mean to imply he turned because he was too big, I just like numbers. I imagine there was some good reason for him to turn like that even if we don't know what it is. They are so stinking beautiful. I don't guess I know anything about the weight loss, I don't remember my kids being weighed until 2 weeks. I have heard something about only one wet diaper per day of life is ok. But I will have to look it up. I'm glad you know what to do if you do have problems and you are on top of it. 

It looks like you need to update your signature. Lots of hugs, I hope you feel better physically soon.

[onemommyonemama]

Yeah Starling! He is beautiful!!!! My dd was posterior and big and stuck and my DW had a csection emergency style after 17 hrs of labour. The one part of coming home she didn't enjoy was the loss of hospical bed. I definately did all the baby lifting and we chilled real still for a week or more. She was off ibuprophen wtihin the week and healed quickly I think because she was careful and slow and easy on herself :) our sis also has a section and took lots of pain meds so she could bound up the stairs with her lo and had a looooong recovery so take it easy :) if i were closer I'd bring ya some lasagne or something! :) best with breastfeeding and your supply. Great that you are home with your little fam getting sorted :) SO happy for you!!!!

Personals later :)

Little news bit though is that DW felt the baby move for the first time last night!

[ad astra]

Hi everybody!

Congratulations Starling!!!

I have been lurking for couple of weeks and really enjoy reading your stories.  We had a ultrasound today at 8 weeks and it went well. 

Isa could you please add me to the list my EDD is May 15.

[qmama42]

Starling--I had to have a c-section with DD and the first few days were excruciatingly painful. I stayed in the hospital a bit longer than you did though and that forced me to really take it easy since I was in bed most of the time except for short walks around the halls of the floor I was staying on. One of the especially vivid memories I have for about the first 2-3 weeks after the surgery is the ripping pain of sneezing. It would bring me to tears every time. DP was an immense help in doing all of the diaper changes for the first two weeks. That kept me from having to bend forward which was really tough. One thing that I would recommend for the future (although I'm not sure how you'll find the two LO's) is body work. I did some physical therapy and massage around 8-10 weeks post surgery to help minimize scar tissue around the incision. I hope you are able to be really gentle with yourself which you're healing. It will definitely take some time. It is really easy to overdo it and you've got to have lots of help and support or your healing will be that much longer. Are you taking any meds (ibuoprofen or oxycodone) for pain? As much as I didn't want to, I found that it was crucial that I took something otherwise I'd spike a fever from the pain and generally feel worse/more tired.

[smilingsara]

Starling congrats! He is oh so handsome! Here's wishing for a speedy recovery to you! 

AFM: I told my parents today. My dad and I were chit chatting on the phone and he said he finally almost feels like a grandfather now and I told him another isn't far off. And he asked what I meant, if I needed to tell him something. I paused and he knew! He is in shock. He then had my mom call me after he picked her up from work. She's SOOO excited! Her voice is all high and squeally! I'm so glad they took it so well! I feel soooo much better now! 

[AmandaHope]

Ad Astra: CONGRATULATIONS and WELCOME!    Mid-May sounds like a lovely time to have a baby.

Sara: I'm so glad that your parents took the news well!  What a relief that must be for you. I found that I got much closer with my mom once I was pregnant.  It was strange, since we hadn't really been close in years.  I hope that this brings you closer and that they are a solid source of love and support for your and your growing family.

Starling: The recovery process sounds really rough.  How long is your DP off work?  Do you have any family to help out?  I wish I lived closer and could come change diapers, pick up your DD, and do laundry.  Take good care.  And good luck with the milk supply, too.  I'm hoping it will come in with a vengeance tomorrow or the next day. 

Isa: SO glad the appt went well.  Yay for a healthy little bean!

AFM: Lilah is no longer taking a bottle, and I have to go to campus tomorrow afternoon.  She is also not really being soothed by DP or my in-laws.  SIGH. I'll run out and try to get a few different nipples tomorrow to see if she takes one better than the other, but tomorrow could be a tough day, especially for DP. 

[LibraryLady]

Good morning~

Starling~ Still just smiling and smiling over your little fella. So sweet. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, I can't even imagine what it'd be like trying to cope with that on top of the brand-brand-brand new babyness as well. I'm so glad you have a good partner and some medical knowledge to help take care of yourself. Big hugs on the low supply issue too. Alice and I had/have the same trouble. I sure hope it resolves soon and he starts putting on weight.  I agree with everyone~ if I had a transporter I'd bring you food and do some of your dishes (of course I can't even do my own, but still...)

AHope~ Big hugs to you too!  These non-soothing babies~ wth!?!  We should get them together and let them complain at each other.

Astra~ WELCOME!!! May sounds like a lovely time to have a baby. Look forward to your journey!!

Sara~ SO glad your family is excited!! It's an exciting thing, glad they're treating it as such x

AFM~ Last day of work for this week!!! SO glad!!!  Alice didn't stay asleep this morning, but was not cranky and sat in the high chair while I got ready for work, so that was nice.  It's getting colder at night and DP and I are talking about what's next in terms of sleeping.  She's super cold-natured and has to have sheets and blankets and duvet etc etc. I'm warmer natured but still can't get through the winter without at least a duvet.  Alice doesn't like to sleep anywhere but pressed up against me, which I love, but what do we do about the blankets and keeping her safe?  She's almost bigger than the co-sleeper now and DP thinks we should start getting her to sleep in her crib in her bedroom.  I'm not sure because A) when she cries at night I'll have to actually get up and go to her rather than just soothing her there in the bed, and B) I'm not sure I can cope with my baby being cold and lonely in another room.  DP says she's willing to move to the guest room for the winter, but I'm not sure I like that either. Dilemma indeed. Anyone here have any ideas?

Glad you liked the bat costume!! I'm loving it.

Edited by LibraryLady - 10/5/11 at 6:02am

[seraf]

Good morning,

OMOM, yay for being able to feel movement from the outside!

AmandaHope, when Ari was 2 months old I had to leave her with my mom so I could take Osh in for a dental procedure. She wouldn't take a bottle but she took a sippy cup with a soft spout. It was slow but effective, I heard.  I know another family where the dad started feeding the baby with a shot glass. Slow but it worked for them. 

Library, this is not considered "safe" co-sleeping but I always sleep with covers up to my NECK. When my babies are tiny I sleep eye to eye with them so I can feel their breath on my face and I'm more likely to wake up. Once they are big enough to roll around, kick off covers and find the boob on their own, I move them down to shoulder level and I loop the covers over the far shoulder and under the near arm, with a lot of fluff on top of me so it can be up to my neck. I use big, light down comforters (a big no-no). Anyway, just one perspective. Alice is much larger, stronger and more capable than the size babies who I would worry about sleeping next to an easily arousable adult with a blanket. I'm guessing if she was in another room she would need some pretty warm jammies or you would have to keep the house warmer. I'm hoping to keep the house warm enough that my hands aren't cold (I usually keep it around 60 at night, might be warmer this year) but the baby will be under covers with me from the day she's born. And she will probably sleep in wool sweaters. 

[justrose13]

AHope, good luck to your DP re Lilah vs. the bottle... Seraf has some good alternative ideas!

library, we are having similar issues re co-sleeping. we are using blankets already and S handles it fine... even between us. he gets super fussy if the blankets are bothering him, and I wake quickly to fix them. our issue is that DP is somewhat of an insomniac and she doesn't like taking sleeping meds with S in the bed. she gets sad/disappointed in the night if she wakes and can't sleep because she used to snuggle up with me and fall right back asleep. but now I am snuggled up with S and she feels lonely. she would really like him to be in the crib, the co-sleeper IS getting small... but then I have to wake-up to feed him rather than just popping the boob into his mouth (if that, he's pretty good nowadays to find it himself). she said she'd sleep better in his room (on the floor) but doesn't do that because she is worried I won't like it. I won't, I want her in the bed with us... I think it's important for all of us to bond at night but not at the expense of her sleep. her mood is really suffering. so she will sleep there if she needs and I've been able to put S down into the co-sleeper after he falls asleep (!) the last few nights and then we get good cuddle time. doesn't really solve YOUR issues, so sorry I rambled on about me... I really think you may be ok with some more blankets and Alice in the bed, IF you feel comfortable. good luck! oh, and I think I "liked" Alice's bat costume on FB, but I'll say it here... aDORable!!!

Sara, so glad your 'rents took it well!

afu, like I said in my ramble to library... we are getting some cuddle time in due to the fact that S is staying asleep better! last night I had him in the co-sleeper at 8pm, we sat out in the living room until 9:30p, came to bed and slept cuddled together until 11:30p when S finally awoke for a feeding! it was marvelous!!

ETA: yesterday was Silas' half birthday! 6 months have flown by!!

[pigirl]

Starling, I peeked back in here to check on you and I'm thrilled you have your baby in your arms!  My son also turned posterior at the very last minute-- I was in the tub pushing on my back, my water broke during a push, and I think that's when he slid into posterior-- and what was going to be a few more pushes ended up being an epidural and about 10 hours more labor.  The shock and disappointment of having a baby turn at that point:  I feel you.  I'm sorry you ended up with a section after all that.  But I'm beside myself you have a beautiful little baby on the outside.  Good luck with the nursing, I hope you're pleasantly suprised this time around.

[prettyisa]

Starling—I’m so sorry about the pain. I hope it’s getting better already!

Ad Astra—Yay! I’m so glad that the u/s was good and that you’re going to come on over and join us officially! I’ll go change the first page right away! How have you been feeling?

Sara—so glad it went well! I think that parents are (at least sometimes) more worried about the idea of a pregnant daughter when it’s theoretical—and then the fact that their grandparental fantasies are about to come true kicks in and they react exactly like they should!

AHope—oh no! I hope you found a good solution for L’s nursing needs this afternoon!

Library—I have no good advice on the co-sleeping thing. If you’re thinking of trying the cry-it-out system in her own crib, may I recommend the long weekend you find yourself facing? If I remember correctly from our friends, it took several days of bad sleep before the baby learned to self-soothe and after that they had very few problems, but the beginning was ROUGH.

Seraf—tiny baby in wool sweater sounds just loverly.

Wehrli—Yay for sleeping babies! I hope he keeps it up so you guys can continue having cuddle time (as previously noted, I get very grumpy when I don’t have enough, so I appreciate the importance!)

AFM—yesterday was such a mix of good and bad. We had the lovely appointment, and then a nice evening looking for the perfect glider/recliner for me. We’re thinking that we need to replace one of the couches in our living room with two chairs—one that glides and reclines for me, and one that just reclines for DP. Our house is small and there’s no room for any kind of rocking chair in the nursery, plus our couches aren’t exactly the most supportive. And DP has never really stopped mourning the loss of her beloved blue wingback recliner, so I figure this is a good time to help her move on. I think we're going to go with a fancy custom upholstered one. we'll use it for quite a while, I expect, so I'm willing to shell out for something we really like. But then at the last minute before bed my ongoing allergy hell quickly turned to sinus hell. I’ve had a TERRIBLE sinus headache all night—couldn’t sleep, kept getting up to blow my nose. The neti pot seemed to make it worse, then better, but still bad. This happens to me a couple of times a year, and I hate it, but usually I can take something to clear out the gunk. Other than steam and saline, does anyone have any recommendations?

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Isa: I'm sorry about your horrible sinus headache. I don't have any suggestions, but I feel very sympathetic! I hope that something helps it feel better soon. And hooray for a healthy heartbeat!

Wehrli: Wow! Six months already? I can't believe it has been that long since Silas was born! I'm glad to hear that blankets are working ok in bed with Silas. I'm sorry it is hard to get enough cuddle time with your DP.

Seraf: It's interesting to hear your plan with blankets and co-sleeping. We haven't figured out yet how we're going to make that work.

Library: I'm envious of your long weekend. I hope it is great! That bat costume is unbelievably cute.

AmandaHope: I'm sorry that Lilah isn't liking the bottle. I hope you can find a nipple she prefers!

Sara: Hooray for a good reaction from your parents! I'm so glad that they were excited for you. Yippee!

Ad astra: Welcome! How is this pregnancy feeling so far? I can imagine it could be a real mix of exciting and hard.

OMOM: It's fun that your DW got to feel the baby move!

Starling: I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. I hope that improves soon!

Julietea: I'm sorry that you had a worrisome night with low movement. I hope that your babe doesn't give you any more scares!

AFM: I had a chiropractic appointment yesterday, and while it didn't make me feel all better I think it did help a little bit (and last night I got up only ONCE all night long!). I'm going to have three appointments a week for at least the next couple of weeks, both to help with the pain (and hopefully make it so I can walk well again) and to get my body into good alignment for the birth. I didn't actually love how the adjustment itself felt--it made me nervous to have movements that felt big and fast happening to areas around my belly--but I'm trying to trust that my chiropractor knows what she is doing and knows how to keep the baby safe. Everything I've read seems to indicate that chiropractic care is safe during pregnancy, and this chiropractor specializes in the treatment of pregnant people, so hopefully it is all fine. If anyone has reassurance about that I would be glad to hear it.
I am now at the point (36 weeks 6 days) where if I went into labor I would definitely be allowed to attempt a homebirth. Wow. That is not to say that I want the baby to come yet--I would still like at least two weeks please.

[carmen358]

Library, we've coslept since birth and my DP and I use separate blankets. DD has always slept between us and is a major snuggler. Basically what I did when she was very small is I would wear warmer clothes on top and only put the duvet up to my waist. We have a huge bed so DP's blankets didn't get close to DD. I was quite paranoid early on and this worked for us. DD woke up a lot at night between about 7 and 17 mos and I would have died if I had to get out of bed. We still cosleep and she sleeps through the night now