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Queer and Pregnant: October, November and December - Page 33

post #641 of 758

Indigo: Ooh!  Exciting!  Keep us updated, and BEST WISHES!


Mami: Beautiful pics and family!  And many congratulations on your official civil union.  So much to celebrate right now!


Seraf: Ok, now I'm looking into making my own woven wrap.  My mother in law said she'd help if I needed it.  What did you make yours out of?  Is it just plain cotton, or is it woven? I'm thinking about a cotton/linen blend if it isn't too pricey.


Isa: So...want to split one?  Basically, to make one, you just get a long piece of fabric (5 meters), cut it in half lengthwise, and then sew the edges.  I guess you can cut and taper the ends to make it easier to tie if you want to get fancy.  So we could pick out a decent fabric and then make two of them.  There are all sorts of holds (esp. back carries) that you can do with a woven wrap that you can't do with stretchy fabric (Moby style), so I think you'd use it in addition to the one you already made. If you are interested, maybe you could come out a bit early or stay a bit late on the 18th and we could go to Joann's?  We could cut it at the store and then finish each of them ourselves. 


Here is a useful site about picking fabric.



Ok, back to hanging out with my happy girl who has discovered that she can pull toys into her mouth.  We're flopped on the living room floor together.  ;-)

post #642 of 758

Mami, how is nursing going?  Did you figure out a system for public?  Lovely pics. 


Indigo, I hope you're getting some rest if you're not in labor. 


Qmama, how is everything?


AmandaHope, I think woven just means the threads go over and under each other. I have used everything from sheets to muslin. The one in the pic is a batik, we still have the other half of it, if you want it. Here is another site I like, it doesn't always work, but it's a great site to look around. They have videos of many carries. http://wearyourbaby.com/Default.aspx?tabid=121

post #643 of 758

Seraf- bfing is going good, as far as doing it in public I just pop it out.. a lil advice Miz yellow gave me!lol





post #644 of 758

nothing further to report really...more nausea, more ctx yesterday, lots of pressure today. 

post #645 of 758
Thread Starter 
Indigo--thinking happy, easy labor thoughts your DP's way!

AHope--let me look through my stash. And then through my mother's. Between us we have more fabric than any possible store could dream of (she keeps foisting it on me, too...where it's all going to live once the studio is the nursery is anyone's guess) so I bet I can find something that will work. I'll bring it on the 18th and you can try it out--if you like it as is, we're done! If not, you'll probably be able to decide what you wish was different about it and we can go look for exactly what you want before we spend anything on it. I'll go poke around in my clothing fabric now and see what I can come up with...
post #646 of 758

Mami, I fully support whipping it out anywhere. Glad it's going well for you. 


Indigo, best of luck. Are the boys excited?


Isa, what do you do with all that fabric?

post #647 of 758

Mami ... Great to hear that you've sorted out the NIP issue! Great pictures, by the way.


Indigo ... Can't wait to hear more news!  ELV for when the time is right! 


Hello to everyone else! 


AFM:  Got H into a back carry today.  I can't believe it took me ten weeks to get around to it!  What a blessed relief! 

post #648 of 758

Indigo: ELVs coming your way!


Mami: Way to go with the whipping it out in public.  Your baby has a right to eat whenever and wherever she wants!


Isa/AFM: I guess I don't need to worry about fabrics.... I'm way over-excited about a killer deal that I got today on a Didymos woven wrap.  This is the one.  It retails for between $160-215 in the size 7 that I got.  But the crazy thing is that I (actually my mom--as a Hanukah gift for me) got it for $75!  There was only one available from a retailer through amazon; the low price is because the packaging is damaged.  I love the colors and have been obsessively watching YouTube videos about all the different carries.  I'm also going to meet with another local babywearing group leader so that she can help me in person.  I feel possessed.  It is definitely odd. It isn't just the amazing price thing (though I do get overly excited about crazy deals on stuff I really wanted but was too careful to get otherwise).  I LOVE babies in slings and wraps.  Seeing a baby all snuggled up sends rushes of oxytocin into my bloodstream, I'm convinced.  When I thought we were done after one kid, I nearly cried every time I saw someone else with a baby that way (which happened a lot in Berkeley--less so in IN and IL).  It is like the best part of being pregnant but even better, because your baby is an actual person with whom you can interact.  If only my back will hold up, I'm going to carry Lilah on me for a good long time.  Starling and Seraf: I've been studying the rucksack carry.  It looks pretty easy.  Do you use the backpack style "arms" or do you cross the wrap across your chest?  Which way do you get the babe onto your back?  That "toss" over the shoulder looks nerve-wracking, but the one where you cross your wrists and grab the babe under the armpits looks better. I can't wait to do it, because it looks so much easier on my back than the front carry in the Moby.  Anyway, Isa, thank you for offering to go through your stash (sounds like quite a stash).  Maybe we can play with mine if it gets here by next Sunday so that you can find a similar fabric in your stash to make one for yourself.  I really did like the idea of making one but couldn't pass up the crazy deal and holiday gift.  Sheepish.gif

post #649 of 758

AmandaH ... I used the cross-over with the rucksack when dd got heavier.  I like it without for littler babies.  I like putting babies on my back like they show you in the ergo video ... starting out holding them in front, then sliding them under my right arm and onto my back, always keeping a hand on them until they know to stay put.  It worked with H today too, and E when she was wee.  I do like the cross-arms technique too.  Not a fan of the Santa toss, but I'm a klutz with shitty aim, so not a technique for me.  I either have the wrap draped on them before I scootch them under my arm, or I have the wrap ready to grab and pull up over baby when he's in situ, if that makes sense.  Have fun with it!  I love wearing babies! 

post #650 of 758

Good morning from chilly Cleveland. 


Starling, isn't it lovely when they go on you back?  It's like you find your hands again and the baby can happily sleep or look around for a while. 


AmandaHope, I dont know the names. We shot a video this morning because I do different things based on my mood. Its not a great video because it's shot from the front (and after I posted it to Facebook I realized you can see through my shirt) and I forgot to put the sling across my lower back before I put him up, I would have just pulled it up over him if I was really doing it. I can shoot another video if you like. 


Things here are good. Sara heads out tomorrow. Her family all came yesterday and Shay did really well for most of it. Sara showed someone how he pees. Everyone is very sweet and enjoying the new life and energy in the family. 

post #651 of 758
Thread Starter 
AHope—ha! I’m a sucker for a good deal, too. And I do love that fabric—it’s so pretty! I’ll come do a study once you get it and see what other options we can come up with—no reason to stop at one, right?

Seraf—oh, um, everything? I quilt a little (poorly, most of the time), make clothes when I have time, dress up my dogs, make ridiculous Halloween costumes, and stare at it a lot. Less so now that it’s mostly living in my attic (yay!) but still. My mom’s a quilter (though she’s been on a fabric dying kick for a while, so that seems to be her primary thing lately) and she started me on it when I was really little—I was 6 or so she had me drawing animals with fabric crayons and made them into a quilt. If I had any patience I could probably be pretty good at it all, but as it is I mostly just play around.

AFM—baby is finally strong enough for DP to feel the kicks! At least once in a while—the kid doesn’t really want to ‘play’ by kicking back when we poke it, and I feel like a jerk for poking too often anyway. And I started reading hypnobirthing—our class isn’t until February, but I figure repetition can’t hurt, right?
post #652 of 758
My babe couldn't stay. gloomy.gif

I went in for my first midwife appt yesterday and she couldn't detect a heartbeat. A quick scan came up with a sac and nothing else and a vaginal ultrasound found a babe with no heartbeat who was about the size of a 6 weeker. I was 9 weeks pregnant and apparently had a missed miscarriage.

I chose to have a D&C and am now home recovering. We are, of course, very sad but I don't feel broken by this and I know I'll be ok. I'm really grateful too, that I was able to convince the midwife to check for a heartbeat despite her reluctance to try before 12 weeks. I'm so glad I didn't have to endure xmas with the anxiety that something wasn't right, nor 3 more weeks of feeling nauseous and exhausted for no reason.

I wish all of you a happy, healthy 9 months and look forward to welcoming another babe in when the time is right.
post #653 of 758
Oh, MMM, I'm so sorry. What a total disappointment. I'm thinking about you as you heal.

post #654 of 758

Hello all~  A rainy morning here, but not too cold, which is novel.


MMM~ I am so very sorry to hear your sad news. That must be awful for you, though you sound like you're bearing up.  I hope you heal quickly in body and spirit xo



Indigo~  More news? More contractions?  ELV and lots of good thoughts!

Isa~ Yay for kicking! That's such an amazing feeling for sure.


Loving the sling/carry discussion from everyone else. Alice likes to ride in her carrier, especially when we go out looking at lights. I load her up and button my big purple coat around us both. It's pretty fun.


Not much going on here. We had family photos taken on Sunday, so I'll post some of them when they come back.  Right now we're trying to figure out what to do in January when I have to go to the Library conference in Dallas.  I'll be gone from Friday to Monday. DP doesn't feel confident in keeping Alice for so long on her own, being especially concerned about night time. Alice sleeps against me, with boob access on demand, and probably won't sleep much well otherwise, which would be tolerable for one night, but three would be a lot. BUT the alternative is them hanging out in a motel room or the mall or something all day for three days while I go to committee meetings.  It's a dilemma for sure. Just wanted to drop by and say hello to all of you, my wonderful ones.

post #655 of 758

MMM- So sorry to hear your news. :( You seem pretty at peace for what is going on. Wishing you lots of luck for when it's the right time.


Library- We definitely would not have been able to have me leave our little suckerfish for three days at that age. (Well, especially if DW wasn't nursing also, haha.) We probably would have had DW and DD go on the trip and entertain themselves in whatever city while I was working. Just us though. It could actually be a good confidence builder for your partner and a time for them to bond though. I'm sure either way Alice will be fine. Even if she fusses a lot, she will be with her mom who she knows and loves, and that really does make a difference.

post #656 of 758
Thread Starter 
MMM—I’m so sorry about your news. Glad you insisted on finding out before Christmas, though—I hope you heal quickly.

Library—she doesn’t want to come and get a visitor pass to scoop up freebies all day long? And watch the shelving-cart competition? But, whyever not? Maybe the three days would be good—some nice bonding time for them.
post #657 of 758

The shelving cart competition? So that's what you librarians do in your free time! :P



post #658 of 758

I love the Book Truck Drill Team!!!  They are fun to watch for sure!! (and yes, this is how librarians spend their free time.  That and shushing people and picking cat hair off our clothes lol.gif)


Isa~ The thought of freebies is tempting, but I'm afraid that Alice's patience for that sort of thing would be limited, and then when she's worn out, there's nothing for them to do but drive back to the motel and sit (it also doesn't help that this is being discussed at a time when all the conference hotels are sold out, so we'd end up who knows where in frickin Dallas, where everything seems to be 100 miles from everything else).  


DP is now saying that she thinks she'll handle it, and I'm confident she can. Don't get me wrong~ it will be really hard for me to be away from my little biscuit for so long, but this is a professional obligation and one I actually enjoy (this is the meeting where the book award committee votes and gives out our awards) so we need to work it out.


KSDoula~ you're right that Alice will be with her mummy whom she knows and loves, and that makes a big difference. It's also true that Alice sleeps attached to me, but that DP has been very successful in getting her to take naps in a bed like a 'regular baby' so there may be less drama than we think. AND I've told her we've many friends and my family in town, and even if they can't make Alice sleep, they could come over and give her company and a bit of a break.   All will be well, I'm sure, but it's an apprehensive time, I guess...

post #659 of 758

Oh, MMM, how very sad.  I was so excited for you and your family.  So sad.  I'm so sorry for your loss.


Library ...  I still drag E to author appearances all over the continent, along with either my partner or sister to be the one in charge of her while I'm doing my writerly thing. In fact, now I'm trying to figure out how to bring both kids with me to Nova Scotia next May when I have to do a bunch of appearances there.  It makes it very expensive, but we often try to fit in a family trip around it.  The one in May is a bit crazy-making.  I forgot about it when we booked the tickets to Costa Rica, so we'll only be home for five days before I'm going to pack up the kids and either my sister or my mom and fly across the country.  Does not sound like fun to me.  But I cannot seem to leave my babies.

post #660 of 758

Starling~ Thanks for the input. I don't want to leave my baby either. It's why I took my mom AND partner to ALA New Orleans this summer and almost ended up divorced/ motherless after DP freaked out with posessiveness and wouldn't let mom take care of Alice. Night. Mare.  But that won't happen again (since I'll never again make the mistake of going somewhere with the both of them).  Ugh.  I'm sure this will all work out, but I'm kind of to the point where I wish someone else would decide.  

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