Oh Krista, no. I'm going to join everyone holding out hope for you. Don't worry about our feelings, we are here for you xooxo
Queer and Pregnant: October, November and December - Page 36
Krista ... Sigh. I'm so sorry to hear your news.
You've held us all in your heart on so many occasions, it is only so very right for us to do the same for you, hon.
We are your cheerleaders, both for sad times and hopeful times. Imagine the chorus of pom poms and kneesocks when you become a mama! It will happen. I know it. In my bones. I know it. I know you do well at taking care of yourself and processing, but I also know that you might just be going through the motions, whether or not it is soothing your bruised heart or not. Do take care though ... we want you back.
Much, much love and honour for you and your partner and your lost pregnancies.
pirate baby t-shirt ... my cool queer friend makes those. Isn't it a cool design? E has had a couple over the years too. I adore them.
If anyone is serious about wanting one, I can see if he can ship stateside.
brite ... look at that faboo belly! And that faboo outfit! And that faboo hat! You rock them all, woman!
yellow ... I think we should fundraise for you to have thirteen children. Someone has to take on the Duggars on behalf of Queers everywhere!
AmandaH ... Thinking of you while I try to come up with a backcarry that my boy can stand up in. This pic shoes the closest I've got ... a hybrid of a few different ones.
Isa ... Care to share any short-list names? I love names ...
Mami ... Cutie patootie!
And pics of our snow day in the mountains yesterday!
krista - We are here for you . I am so sorry to hear about your u/s. And that your RE left things unclear. It is true that you have been there for each of us and we are there for you. I read your statuses all the time and am rooting for you and DP. Take greatest care. Let us know what happens. Know you are surrounded here.
Still thinking of you, Krista, and hoping you are finding a bit of peace tonight along with the loss.
Starling: Love the snowshoeing pics. We want to try that this winter, too. The university where I work rents snow shoes cheaply so that we can try them out. If we love it, maybe we'll invest in some during the post-season sales. I've done it a few times and loved it, though never with little ones strapped to me! Glad you had a good time. Is that your too big coat? How big is it, really? I wear an XL in most things and would LOVE a coat like that for this winter with Lilah in her carriers. If you are really going to get rid of it, might we talk about the cost of shipping it down here? And as for back carries (thanks for thinking of me), I got Lilah into a really nice double hammock carry yesterday. I was super proud of us both. The local babywearing leader is coming here tomorrow to help us some more (such a generous person!), so I'll try to get some pics. The DH has the chest wrap, so my arm was more comfy. I'm going to the chiro tomorrow to see about that nerve... Your little guy looks so comfy in that rucksack carry. What kind of wrap is that?
Seraf: Glad you are enjoying yourself as always, even without Sara at your side. We're going to FL, too, on Sunday, to visit my grandparents. My brother and his family are coming, too. I can't wait to see them but am worried that Lilah is going to have a rough time traveling and just being out of her element. She seems to really like being at home. So different from Z, who would go anywhere as long as she had me and the bbs (and she barely slept anywhere, so it didn't much matter whether we were home or not). Where in FL are you going, with whom, and by what means of travel? The video was great, btw. Lilah does something similar while nursing when she has to poop--pops on and off, frantically, whining and waving her head around. Funny kids. I wish she had such a clear sign for needing to pee (or that I could figure out what it is). Starling: you asked about EC and poop catches. Like Seraf suggested, I hold her over the sink every morning at first diaper change, and about 75% of the time, she goes poop. If not, I can usually tell she needs to go later in the day. But I rarely catch her pees. Lately, I give her a good long time to try, she does nothing, and then she wets a diaper soon afterwards. Not sure why.
Mami: Sorry we didn't get to meet you last weekend. Your little pink girl is adorable!
Rainbow: What a lovely bump! It has personality, as does that hat. You look awesome, and I'm so glad that all is well so far. The u/s pics are great--I didn't remember such a clearly baby-looking little fetus so early. Yay!
Yellow: Happy 5 months! L will be 5 mo on Saturday. Hard to believe a) how fast it is going and b) that these little people have only been out of us and with us for 5 months. Ah, the weird time warm of parenting. I'm in favor of you having many babies. More power to you. I'll send you tons of pink clothes if you have a girl (or if you have a boy and want lots of pink clothes ;-).
Indigo: Thinking of you and your holiday-season baby on the way.
Crystal: What's up? Everything ok?
Julie: Hi! Hope you, DP, and Rowan are happy and well. How is the adjusting going? Getting any easier? It is quite a process...
QOTD: Does anyone have any favorite tips or strategies for traveling with babies? Or handling family holiday madness with babies?
I ask bc I'm anticipating our nearly 2-week trip to FL coming up. I'm trying to pre-condition my mom to lower expectations for us (ie, going out to dinner every night vs. doing take-out, etc.). I'm also beginning to suspect that some of Lilah's hard crying spells have to do with over-stimulation, especially when we pass her to unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar place. So I told my mom that we'll keep her close for a few days until she gets (re)acquainted with her and my other family members. I may not pass her to my grandparents when they first meet her, but I'll make sure they can hold her before the end of the trip. I can't wait to get her to a warm climate. She HATES being dressed and undressed, and especially being inserted into coats, snowsuits, stroller straps, and carseats. She's going to be in heaven wearing nothing, bathing suits, and light outfits. And her little (ok, NOT at all little--huge, rolly) tushy deserves some warm salty air! Me on the other hand--I bought a dress-style bathing suit for pennies from Lands End. I feel like granny, but it is better than being painfully self-conscious around my marathon-running sister in law and viciously judgmental father and brother. Who knew that Lands End had DDD size bathing suits?! It isn't even that ugly, really. I can't wait for the sun, sand, and salt water. Ahh....
Good morning~ Writing to you from my desk, in my pajamas on what's got to be the second-longest day of the school year (only the very last day drags on more...) But it's pajama day, and I'm making the most of it. I have on my purple owl jammies (which you might recall from my New Year's belly pic last year) and the pink robe I stole from the hospital after my nurses were so mean to me. I've already had a minor shower of gifts from kids~ mostly candy which is nice. One of my favorite third graders, a wonderfully nerdy Aspergers boy, came in with a little gift bag and gave it to me. I said "Oh, thank you, B! What is it, a lizard?" and he just looked at me for a moment and said "I'm not sure." then he insisted I open it, just in case it was a lizard, so that he could see it. Funny.
Krista~ I'm still thinking so much about you. I lay in bed last night and just sent you every bit of energy and love I could. I'm not giving up on you yet this time around, and will not give up hope, ever.
Starling~ What amazing pix!!!! I love the snow and the cold weather and that looks like SO MUCH FUN!!! I love the baby-in-coat too. I have a big purple coat and when Alice and I go walking I put her green apple hat on her and her little apple just pokes out of the front, it's so cute. Your kiddos are so adorable, and so are you and your sweetie.
Mami~ What a lovely girl you have!! I like the tutu pic as well. She's got so much hair, your kiddo! I think Alice will be five before she's got that much. She's still got tennis ball fuzz!
AHope~ You get big hugs from me for making the journey home. Whew. That much travel is tiring when you're doing it on your own, but with a baby I dread to think. And with a fussy baby, all I can say is halleluja for the power of the boob! I'm glad you know what you want now and are going to be firm about what Lilah needs and wants. Alice doesn't like to be handed to people either, not even my mom who adores her, so I completely see the value of waiting and acclimating her before you give them snuggle time, and I hope they understand and respect that too. It's not about you not liking them and all about doing what's most emotionally comfortable for the baby. Alice also hates to have her clothes changed, though lately if I give her a shoe or hairbrush to play with while we do it, she's distracted. Also now if I sit her up to take her shirt off, she holds her arms up to let me do it. SO CUTE!! Your swimsuit find sounds like a score!! I'm sorry you have to wear it in the presence of judgemental men. Ick.
Who else? What else? I'll probably check back a million times today because there's not much to do around here but wait for that bell..... Alice was smiling in her sleep when I left this morning. So cute.
Mami—It appears that no, she does not actually love Elmo. That’s ok, I don’t think I do, either.
Starling—Oh, snow! I wish there were snow! But then I’m kind of digging the unending 45-55 degree thing we’ve got going on here at the moment. My guess is that the snow will catch up with me sooner or later.
AHope—ugh. Families. I hope they’ll understand when you explain that Lilah takes a little while to warm up to people—and if they don’t when you say it they certainly will when they insist on taking her and she gets upset, so my guess is that they’ll agree pretty quickly. I just hope it doesn’t bother her too much or for too long while they’re learning! Beach sounds heavenly…Hmm..snow or beaches. I’ll take either.
Library—was it a lizard? I hope so!
AFM—not much. Getting a haircut tonight, thank goodness! And tomorrow my mom’s coming to stay with us while we wait to hear the news about my aunt’s possible cancer treatment options, so it’s going to be a busy end-of-week. I also bought some fabric to make crib sheets last night, so that might be the evening project. I looked at the one that came with our crib and it basically involves three seams, so I found some cute fabric and am going to go to town!
AmandaH ... I'll check the cost of shipping, sure! PM me your address so I can check. It is a great jacket. On the subject of travel .. nurse, nurse, and nurse some more. And wear your baby. L will feel secure, and others won't be so quick to grab her from you. You already do those things, so you're good! Dress her comfy on the flight. Don't worry about her crying. There is so much white noise that most people aren't too bothered, and any who are ... well, most of them have had babies at one point or another and while you might feel their wrath, it's mostly just you feeling stressed. They all have earphones these days anyway.
Isa ... Great that you can do crib sheets. That way you can have the cutest prints and patterns!
Library ... I remember the owl jimmyjams! How wonderful to spend the day in them at work!
Krista--I am holding you in my thoughts and sending you lots of love and light. I was so sad to read your post yesterday and I hope you get more answers soon. Please be in touch and keep us posted when you know more
AFM--I'm sorry about the radio silence. Things have been pretty busy around here and I've been overwhelmed by the idea of trying to catch up with personals. 32 weeks for me today. I'm really enjoying my Hypnobirthing class. I'm getting better about not feeling nauseous after I eat. Now I'm trying to get prepared (baby's room, baby stuff, holidays, mental prep, etc.). Hi all, missed you women and I promise to try to hit some personals soon!
still loving all the wrap/carrier pics!
i was inspired to go get some fabric and use it for a wrap but haven't had the time (or extra $$) to go... then, i was cleaning out a closet and found a length of fabric that's meant to go out to my booth at the Renfair the next time i'm out that way. guess what?! it's just right for using as a wrap! well, it's just a little on the short side... but it'll quench my desire to try a wrap until after the holidaze! here's a pic of the front carry i tried. i also did one of the back carries (which i loved) but didn't get a pic.
a pic of his first finger painting (with DP)
one of him (on thxgvng/7.5mo) with his 4 week old cousin (DC was born 5w premature)
hanging with Cheer Bear in a box
Krista...i don't even know what to say to you. like the others i am holding out hope that tomorrow will bring a bright beacon of good news your way. you deserve this so much and, well, the universe just sucks sometimes. many hugs headed your way.
afu - we had an ob appt yesterday and dp got checked. as we suspected nothing is going on down in the nether regions. fingertip dilated, cervix soft and VERY posterior. lalalala baby girl is too cosy in there. first bp reading was a tad scary - 130/70 but second reading was 110/60. back next week for another appt. i have finished wrapping ALL the presents, dp's included. still no hospital bag organized though, we are so blase this time - dp even said, oh just throw a few things in one of the cloth grocery bags and it will be fine. ha. dp got a bonus!!! even as a temp employee and it was pretty darn nice considering she'd only been there since may. we did a happy dance.
today we took lunch to our friend (48yo, used donor eggs and her hubby's sperm to get preggo via ivf) who is pregnant with triplets. identical twin boys and a singleton girl. she's on bedrest and bored. all three are doing well but she has placenta previa which is causing her to bleed. they expect she will deliver in march. she intends to breastfeed - so AWESOME!!!!! :)
i have to go sleep since the alarm will be bugging me at 5am...
Wehrli: That looks like a lovely wrap! Silas looks comfy, and isn't the fabric so much better than the Moby now that S is big? I'd love to see a pic of the back carry next time you do it. Did you just figure it out or were you following instructions somewhere? Nice work, mama! The fingerpainting photo is great, too. DP looks so happy.
Indigo: 48 with triplets? WOW. Just...wow. Glad you are able to help her out while she is on bedrest. I really hope all continues to go as well as possible.
AFM: Quick vent: had a minor argument with DP yesterday because I got upset/discouraged when I got home from spending some much-needed alone time with Z while DP's dad watched Lilah (bc DP had a dentist appt). He was only with her for 45 minutes and says all went well until 10 minutes before my return, but when I got home, she was screaming crying, and it took me nearly a half hour to get her completely calmed down. Our daycare plans include one day of DP and one day of my in-laws taking care of her, but I'm realizing that on those days, I'm going to need to work from home as much as possible. Thankfully, I can, with the exception of four hours on Thursdays when she'll have to be alone with my in-laws. Getting everything done that way is going to be hard, but I'm grateful I have the flexibility. Then there is the issue of how she's going to adjust to two days/week of daycare, even with my coming by to nurse her. I'm thinking she falls in Dr. Sears' range of "sensitive" high needs. She has such a hard time with transitions, unfamiliar environments, anyone but me, etc. etc. I wish I just didn't have to work, but that isn't an option. The argument was more about DP's sense that "babies cry" and that I should somehow be less bothered by it or get less stressed by it. She accepted that I have a right to my feelings of pain/disappointment when Lilah won't be comforted by others but wishes that I would just take it in stride somehow. Sigh. I'm doing everything I can, but DP is exhausted, and she gets especially upset when she expends the little energy she has trying to help L get to sleep, etc., and it doesn't work. She doesn't blame Lilah, but she feels really bad. Ok, enough complaining. Thanks for reading/listening, as usual.
Wehrli, he is huge!!!!
AmandaHope, I'm sorry y'all had words like that. I have had to explain to Sara that the hormones make it almost physically hurt to hear him cry. She doesn't try to let him cry but she didn't understand why it would make me frantic in the car.
we were in St Petersburg. I will post pix when I get home. The campground was absolutely georgous.
1, travel with someone organized.
2, feed kids and moms often. Carry snacks. Protein and fresh fruit are ideal. I don't know if you eat meat but jerky is great. Trail mix, too. When traveling and eating with other people meals tend to run late an I would rather a kid eat very little dinner than have a screaming fit because they got too hungry.
3, pack a reusable water bottle if you drink tap water. It can go through airport security and it's good to keep it full on the other side. It's far too easy to get dehydrated while traveling.
4, don't sweat the small stuff. If everyone is safe I'm happy. If they're happy, I'm thrilled. I keep to routines (shower in the mornig for Shay, pack books for storytime with big kids) but otherwise don't worry about anything else.
5, when someone wants to visit baby, it works well to hold the baby on my lap and sit next to the adult who wants to visit. It seems less intense for the baby because they can escape into my chest if they don't want to interact or they can play and enjoy the company.
I hope you have a good trip. They were having a heat wave or something. I swam I the ocean while Shay napped on the beach with his grandma and cousin.
Edited by seraf - 12/24/11 at 7:36am
Seraf: You and S look great! I love all the blues and greens in your shirt and wrap. I'm really looking forward to taking walks on the beach with L in her wrap. We leave tomorrow. And by the way, we'll be in Clearwater. How long are you there? Maybe we can meet up! Are the other kids with you, or is it just you and Shay? When does Sara get home?
AFU: After that last frustrated post, things have swung back to the positive. After several weeks of taking no bottles, Lilah found one she really seems to like (Adiri breast-bottle). This gave DP's parents great relief. They'd clearly been fretting quite a bit. And L has been pretty cuddly and happy. Z is really starting to play with her. Only Z can make Lilah laugh hard, and it is so adorable that it just hurts to watch. L is getting rowdy in the bath with Z, splashing so hard with her hands and feet that I got soaked sitting next to the tub. Well, still some packing to do, so gotta run.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to those celebrating!
Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and happy belated solstice.
AmandaHope,we are home again already. I hope you have a great visit. The beach was crazy windy when we were there. I don't know of it was all the white noise or what, but S and his cousin were smiling their little cheeks off. If you have a layover in Pittsburg or New York you might run into Sara. Yay for L finding a bottle she can accept. That makes life much easier.
Sara just called and said she might have an earlier flight. So I get an earlier Christmas gift. She will get in before I can.