Weekly chat Oct 1-8 - Page 3

[adoremybabe]

Mommy2SammyJoe - Great news!

Yesterday I finally heard my baby's hb too! It's going strong at 161 beats per minute. It make this all feel more real and all of my suffering so worth it. So far my Anti e antigens are not measurable and that is really good news for our little one. My thyroid is being checked and my dr. will allow me to wait until after the 1st of the year for my ultrasound....as long as everything else is going well. Our insurance deductable is enormous so it will save us the bother of having to pay that much more $. So far I'm really happy with this doctor!

[autumngrey]

This seems to have been the week for a lot of heartbeats. Hurray! :-)

I had my u/s today and baby popped right up on the monitor, so immediately about half the weight was off my shoulders (as I had some random fear that it was ectopic, even though I'm pretty sure I would have found that out the hard way by this point). She took lots of pictures and gave us a CD of a few, so I was excited excited. She finally got to the heart beat toward the end, and I couldn't see it but she measured it at 166bpm so I was thrilled even more.

Thrilled until I got to talk to my dr. who said the lab tech noted "prominent nuchal translucency." Now I worry again. My dr. said not to worry yet because lab techs "don't do this enough to make that kind of diagnosis," () but when I Google, my scans look ... well, the same. I wasn't planning to do the nuchal translucency screening (that it was even mentioned in this ultrasound was an unintended consequence) but now dr. is encouraging it, and I am contemplating doing it (its just a blood test I think?) in hopes that it will come back negative and I won't spend the next however many months worrying. But then what if it doesn't come back negative? I don't want to do amneo. The worrying would just amplify.

And at the same time, I can't help but feel really terrible that this bothers me. I mean bother beyond the "acceptable" amount worry of wanting happy healthy baby (and future child who will grow up to be happy and healthy some more) for sake of his or her happiness and whatever. Agh.

Being a worry wart is not good.

[chiromama01]

autumngrey GREAT NEWS!! yay for heartbeats!  

I finally got to hear my baby's heartbeat yesterday, it felt like such a long wait!  We have our next u/s scheduled for next month (the anatomy scan).  Trouble is, I would really like to leave the sex of the baby as a surprise, but hubby wants to know.  Any tips on persuading him for a surprise? Anyone????  I think this may be our last, so I'd like the anticipation and excitement of a surprise.  As it stands right now, we're not even setting up a nursery, just a pack n play (we already have) by our bed and a changing pad on the dresser, so there's not even the "nursery" excuse for "needing' to know....ugh.  He's stubborn... uh oh, this may be getting off track, hehe....

suggestions please!!!!

[mommyrachael]

Yay for all those heartbeats!!

Chiromama, I'm no help, because I'm feeling the opposite :), that I'd like to find out this time, but my dh is unsure.  We'll see.  Actually, with the other two we didn't have US's, except for one right at the end with dd1 because we thought she was breech.  (Thankfully she wasn't).  But this time, I'm feeling like I'd like one.

Sometimes I think I feel a little flutter or kick...anybody else?  I remember feeling that pretty early with dd2...neat, but then I get in the worry cycle of "the baby hasn't kicked in while", which is absolutely silly at this point, since baby's so small.  Aaah.  I got my mom's worry gene.

[prettyisa]

Autumngrey—Ugh. Such a difficult decision. In our case, we decided that since we wouldn’t take action (terminate the pregnancy) if we got a positive, we’re better off not knowing until the baby is born. If we did the test and got a positive I wouldn’t do the amnio, and would spend the next 6 months freaking out about all of the bad things instead of bonding with the baby and looking forward to getting to know it. To my mind, there is plenty of time after the child arrives to come to terms with any disabilities and figure out support options—after all, as long as it isn’t in the NICU (which clearly would come with its own set of things to learn and worry about), a newborn is a newborn, right? The first 6 months are going to be pretty much the same no matter what, and that’s plenty of time to rally the troops and find out what options there are for help and support. I guess that if you think it will put your mind at ease, do the test, but if you’ll just be more upset and worried if there’s a positive I’d say don’t do it and believe that the tech really doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Chiro—I convinced mine to wait by pointing out that since I don’t want to know and she does, I win. Mostly because she can’t keep a secret (or tell a lie) to save her life, so if she knows I’d find out in about 5 minutes. She tends to be agreeable, though, so I don’t have advice for working on someone who sticks to their guns on stuff like that.

Sorry everyone’s feeling so crappy! Me, too! I got my annual fall sinus infection right on schedule—and haven’t been able to do much about it. Topping it up with pregnancy sniffles has been a whole lot of not fun. But my energy is back and my mood is up—I feel like myself again (except the extra crying at baby commercials on tv), which is nice. And I finally bit the bullet and bought some maternity stuff to wear—the hairband in my buttonhole was starting to dig into my stomach already. We got to hear the heartbeat on Monday! We’d seen it before, but hearing it was nice, and also reassuring. I hope everyone has a great weekend—it’s supposed to be gorgeous (around here, anyway)!

[zuzusplace]

I've been feeling kicks for weeks, but yes, quite often it's less and you get nervous (like I haven't felt anything for about 3 days).

16

Don't think there'll be an ultrasound here either, so we won't be finding out gender (I think that makes my poor son more nervous than anyone else).

16

So, is anyone here experienced with a doppler?16 What does the placenta sound like?

[kaismum]

mommyrachel - I have felt a few times like maybe I can feel some movement which made me feel insane until I mentioned it at my knitting group (all moms of two or more) last night and they all said that they were able to feel second babies sooner when they were down low but then not for awhile after their uterus moved up. Made me feel normal. 

Autumngrey - So glad that you heard the heartbeat but sorry that the ultrasound left you with worries. I am a worrier also and can imagine that this leaves a lot of different paths of worrying open to get lost on. Hope that you are able to have answers soon. :)

So, my mom really thinks that she is invited to our homebirth. We don't have a great relationship right now, haven't for the last four or five years. I just don't really understand why she would think that I would want to be around her in labor? It is difficult for me to figure out how to tell her that I don't want her here and I don't want her to go on thinking that she will be either. I am really afraid that this will be something that worsens our relationship no matter what happens. If I tell her she cannot be here, I think she will be really hurt and if I let her come to spare her feelings, I think I will feel really resentful about the whole thing. It just really is feeling like a big mess. 

I am feeling pretty great and thanks to a stand at the farmers' market on Saturday I was able to get some nitrate free bologna and squashed that craving. I keep thinking about chicken livers, but I am pretty sure that I can't be the person to cook them. My husband is hopeless in the kitchen. I think I might ask his grandma if she could cook them for me. 

Our four and half year old son is starting to become more excited about the baby. I think it helps that I am sprouting a pretty pregnant looking belly. He is a pretty huggy-kissy type kid and started adding a couple of hugs a day for the baby and the last few nights has asked to hug my belly before he falls asleep. He regularly spends part of most nights (4 or 5 out of 7) sleeping with me and I initiated a conversation this week about how when the baby comes I might not be able to spend part of the night sleeping in bed with him. My thought was that if we start talking about it now in six months it will be less traumatic. Also, he is pretty logical and I thought if I explained that the baby will need me to be near by to nurse at night and it isn't safe for the three of us to sleep in his bed that he would understand. Unfortunately, he was super sad about the whole thing. I ended up telling him that since it is a long time away that maybe he wouldn't even need me to come in at night anymore and we also talked about trying to find some solutions that would work out well for everyone. I feel poorly for bringing it up and now feel a little worried about what nighttime will look like after the baby arrives. Buying a bigger bed is probably not in our financial cards and there is not enough room in any one bedroom in the house for both of our beds plus a side-carred crib. I am not seeing a clear solution yet, but am hoping that something will present itself to me in the next few months. Anyone have any ideas or advice? 

[UnassistedMomma]

Originally Posted by zuzusplace 
So, is anyone here experienced with a doppler?16 What does the placenta sound like?

We've used a doppler at home w/  my last two pregnancies.  The heart sounds more like a horse - clipclop, clipclop, clipclop.  The placenta/cord sounds more like the ocean - whooshwhoosh.

[zuzusplace]

Thanks Unassisted, what about the umbilical cord? I keep hearing two things that sound very similar (have been the whole pregnancy) one about 140 up higher, and one about 155 down lower. It used to seem like they were about 4 inches apart, today only about 2. I know the heart rate varies, but I can always watch for minutes and have the one in the 135-145 range and the other about 150-160 (I can go back and forth hearing the same two rates in the same two spots without variation). I'm still refusing to accept my husbands twin diagnosis since we had the early ultrasound, and thought maybe one of these other things (placenta, cord, etc) could be causing the other rate.

16

(Edited to add: oh, and anyway, if it were twins it seems odd that the slower rate would always be higher in the uterus than the faster rate.)

[autumngrey]

I want to give my midwife big hugs. She called (after they closed) and said the radiologist looked at the images and did some sine analysis (or something) and that he thinks the lab tech was wrong, that it's not nuchal translucency. She said something about separation of the amniotic sac from something else. Whoa so much relief. Now back to my plans of no screening!

[chiromama01]

ok, so autumngrey, it would seem that my pregnancy brain has gotten the best of me yet again, what i meant to say in my earlier post was...great news about the heartbeat, but sorry you were left with uncertainty.  lab techs really shouldn't be allowed to give parents cause for concern.  Radiologists go through so much training to read images, it would be impossible for a lab tech to be able to replicate their skills... but alas, you have posted again with gold news, so YAY!

kaismum, thats a tough spot for sure.  it would be so difficult to "uninvite" someone who wasn't even invited to begin with! do you think it would be easier to handle if you put it on your partner?  maybe not easier for your partner, but might be easier for mom to handle?? just a thought...

prettyisa, thanks for the thoughts, hubs is pretty stinkin stubborn, so it'll be a tough battle, but a few mood swings and some tears and I may be able to persuade him...lol I'll keep you guys posted

[zuzusplace]

Kaismum, are you going unassisted? Because if you will have a midwife there, I will just about bet she'd be willing to help take the blame for you and tell mom no. My mom and I don't get along either, and I didn't want her at my births, but for my home birth we were living together (she has cancer, and I guess I thought I could cure decades of problems by helping take care of her....but that's another story). Anyway, she was getting on my nerves, so the midwife at one point said they needed quiet and could she wait upstairs with the kids. Later, when she started yelling at the kids and I threatened to kill her under my breath (48 hour painful labor and I was not feeling like being nice), they told her they needed some things from the store and sent her on errands. Midwives are generally pretty good, from what I understand, running interference, taking the blame for hard to hear decisions, and all around sheltering you from unpleasantness during labor. Maybe that could help??? I hope so.

[Thursday Girl]

kaismom- can you just tell her it's going to be just the immediate family? (you know if it is). My mom was there for the first 2 births but not the 3rd. I told her at the second that if she said something negative (like with my first when i was scared and didn't want to do it she said "tough luck, you shouldhave thought of that earlier" or something just as stupid that I would kick her out.

chiro- my husband and I are in discussion over the same stuff. he might find out and not tell anyone, he can totally keep a secret although he will tease me and I don't know if I can take that.

autumngrey-yay for the good news

and yay for al the heartbeats!!

[adoremybabe]

I've posted to this thread twice already today and so far it't not sticking. So annoying.

Anywho, there was a heartbeat heard here yesterday too! It makes me feel so good to know that this little one is doing just. My doc is checking my thyroid levels and, my Anti e Antigen titers are unmeasurable so far. Great news!

[Rasa]

Hi kaismum...regarding the sleeping situation, here's what we did last time and what we're planning to do this time.

The thing that ended up working best last time was dropping our mattress (in the master bedroom) to the floor (off the box springs, off the bed frame) and pushing it up against a wall (actually, we had a corner that worked, and that was awesome).  DD just didn't go for the cosleeper at all and actually slept on my chest or DH's chest for 5 months until she rolled off and slept next to me on her own ever after (she had some rough reflux so I think being partially upright helped her).  I rolled up towels REALLY tight and wedged them into any space between the mattress and the wall.  Then I put DD nearest the wall and then me.  With DH's work schedule/snoring (at the time), it ended up working out that he camped out in a different bedroom, and that worked great.  A well-slept family is a happy family, LOL!  That would have worked with just about any size mattress larger than a twin.  

I'm still cosleeping with DD (which we all love!), but we've since moved.  I thought it would be such a great idea when we moved to move her into HER room and sleep with her as long as she needed and eventually I'd transition out.  What do you know--she's not ready for that yet.  But she's in a TINY room and there's no way we can fit anything bigger than the full mattress she already has in there and we totally need to have at least a queen size for 3 of us.  She's very anxious about switching her sleeping situation around at all but since she adapts so well when we're on vacation, etc., I think ultimately it will be ok, though I do expect it to be rocky until she gets used to something new (she also hates talking about it but she will occasionally bring it up and it's just part of the process of getting used to the idea, I think).  Anyway, this time I'm hoping we'll all move back to the master with the bigger bed and have a similar setup but this time it will go: wall + baby + me + DD.  Thankfully, DH doesn't mind musical beds ;-)  And perhaps if DD gets annoyed with all the new baby movements/sounds/night nursing/changing, she can find comfort going 'back' to her bedroom/bed just as it is now.  I don't mind in the long run trying to get the baby to sleep then having DH hang out with the baby while I lay down with DD and then going back to the baby if need be, once DD is asleep, she usually doesn't even notice if I'm not there until the morning though she has always slept MUCH longer if I am there.  Will be interesting to see how all this plays out!

[Thursday Girl]

oh yeah, and I just found out yesterday (Hubs totally, smartly did not tell me everything his mom said when he told her we are having another baby) that when Chris shared the news one of his moms responses was an angry " I KNEW she'd try to give you a boy!"

this is a very interesting situation as his mom is the type who will do things kind of secretly or under false pretenses to get what she wants and apparently she thinks I am doing the same type of stuff. Plus it just smacks of her being pissed because I am trying to get her son more on my side. like if I give him a boy he would be more dedicated to me and less to her. her logic is beyond screwed as he is insanely in love with his whole family of girls and just wants a healthy child.  I encourage his relationship with his mom although I won't go visit her or talk to her because she has been so rude and such in the past.  Although I did tell him that if it ever had to come down to us or her it better be us.  LOL.  but I was just annoyed by this and kind of want to call her house and just growl or something.

[adoremybabe]

Thursday Girl - It's too bad there there isn't a "musical" card that growls.

[adoremybabe]

Originally Posted by chiromama01 

autumngrey GREAT NEWS!! yay for heartbeats!  

I finally got to hear my baby's heartbeat yesterday, it felt like such a long wait!  We have our next u/s scheduled for next month (the anatomy scan).  Trouble is, I would really like to leave the sex of the baby as a surprise, but hubby wants to know.  Any tips on persuading him for a surprise? Anyone????  I think this may be our last, so I'd like the anticipation and excitement of a surprise.  As it stands right now, we're not even setting up a nursery, just a pack n play (we already have) by our bed and a changing pad on the dresser, so there's not even the "nursery" excuse for "needing' to know....ugh.  He's stubborn... uh oh, this may be getting off track, hehe....

suggestions please!!!!

Ummm.... just tell him outright that you are carrying this baby and you want it to be a suprise for everyone so he has to wait too, Done deal. That's how I would deal with it anyway.

[chiromama01]

adoremybaby, i may just try that :) ... and maybe you should present your growling musical card to halmark, i think many of us would like to send one at some point!

So I've had an extremely busy week this week, like I think I worked 60 hours this week.  When I finally got home from the office (at 9pm) last night, I fell straight into bed.  I noticed as I lay there that I began having contractions.  (braxton hicks type, nothing painful, and baby is still kicking plenty) so I'm not concerned that there's something wrong with baby necessarily, but I am concerned that i'm having contractions at 15 weeks.  Has anyone else experienced this after a particularly busy week?  The contractions have started up again this morning, but only if I'm active, so i'm trying to spend most of the day off my feet, but that's easier said than done with a 2 year old in the house.  I haven't called the midwife or anything yet.  Anyone dealt with this before? thought or suggestions?

[RosieL]

autumngrey - Ack! Sorry for your bit of a rollercoaster ride, but glad to hear all's well. 

chiromama - Do you know the reasons behind DH wanting to know? Is he hoping for one gender and wants to be prepared in advance? On another note, are the contractions regular feeling? How long do they last? I've been having sudden pain that's pretty surprising. I take a couple breaks, wait a bit, and then all's well. Once this happened on a run, I stopped and walked for a while, and it went away. This is my first, so I have no idea what to call the pains, but I assumed they are normal.

zuzus - I'm jealous of your feeling kicks. I keep searching the internet for descriptions of how it feels, but nothing yet. I have lots of feelings down there, but it's mostly pains and soreness. 

kaismum - I wonder if  you explained to your mom how you are going to a very specific kind of labor, and that it requires as few distractions as possible, would she understand? I haven't broached the subject yet with my mom. I hope she doesn't assume. We have a great relationship, but I'm not sure her energy will be the best for labor. Too hyper. :)

Thursday Girl - I'm with adoremybabe, there must be a greeting card out there for this situation. How aggravating! Sounds like DH should just not mention her comments int he future. They're not helpful and the best thing is for them to be ignored anyway, it seems. Sorry you're dealing with MIL stress. 

AFM - I stopped by the thrift store today and picked up three pairs of pants. A pair of A Pea in the Pod slacks for a conference I need to go to in late November, a pair of gap khakis with the tags still on, and a pair of jeans. All fit the legs but are still a tad too big in the waist. All for $15! WHOOOHOOO! I feel accomplished. Now back to reviewing papers and doing lit reviews...