Ok, another rant time.
I have mentioned many times that we are living with DH's grandmother. Well, she and I are... how shall I say this... NOT a good personality match. In other words, she infuriates me more than anyone else I've met in my entire life (I wish, wish, WISH I were exaggerating). She is the single most insufferable human being on the planet, and I hate her. I know that sounds extreme, but right now I'm so furious that all I can think is how much I hate her and wish I never had to effing see her again.
OK, so here's how my life looks: DH and I live downstairs. Her room is upstairs. So, unfortunately, is the kitchen. So whenever I get hungry enough (and I put it off as long as possible, because I want to avoid seeing grandmother at ALL costs), I go upstairs. She starts talking (nobody on the planet talks as much as this woman does, and nobody could possibly find less interesting things to talk about). She talks and talks and talks and I give her the occasional "Mmm-hmm" or "uh-huh" or "oh, wow." Literally, that's all I say. And this goes on for the entire duration of my upstairs visit, which is anywhere from 2 minutes to 2 hours, depending on what I'm making in the kitchen (I stick to quick things as much as possible - you can see why). This is difficult because the kitchen is usually my sanctuary, my safe place, my place to whip up healthy delicious creations - and now I eat toast and cereal and so-so smoothies as much as possible because I want to get in and out as quickly as I can and retreat downstairs.
Well, today when I went up she mentioned how she saw on the news that babies should be in cribs in their parents' rooms for the first year of life. I should have just said "mmm-hmm" like I usually do. I am still kicking myself. But instead I said "Yes, and sleeping in bed with them is even safer." So EFFING GRANDMA launches into how I'm gonna roll over onto the baby and smother it, or it will be smothered by blankets, and how it's so irresponsible, and how "well I wouldn't do it," bla bla bla. I barely responded, because her information is simply wrong. I mean, she's just WRONG. I have done this exhaustive research, I have a friggin' masters degree in early childhood development and I know how babies regulate and what's safe. Furthermore, it's NONE OF HER EFFING BUSINESS. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She was like "You're unconscious when you're sleeping. And you don't know what you're doing when you're unconscious." Talking to me like I'm the dumbest person on the planet.
Some people are good at shrugging off other people who spew false information and talk out of their a**es. I am not one of those people. I get unreasonably upset when I hear people talking like they know what they're talking about and it's based on information that is simply false. Look, I don't know everything either, but I know a hell of a lot more than she does on this topic. And if she wants to have a conversation with me about it, then she can say "Oh, I didn't know that, tell me more," and we can have a conversation about it.
If I didn't hate this woman so much to begin with, and if she didn't make my blood boil every time I see or hear her (or even think about her), then I wouldn't be so infuriated right now. But between my mother telling me I'm giving my child Polio if I don't vaccinate and DH's grandmother telling me my baby's gonna die if I cosleep, I feel like I want to go on a rampage.
I don't know how I'm going to live in this house with this baby. It's temporary (DH and I are saving every penny to move out and buy a house), and some days I feel like I can live with it. Today is not one of those days. I don't even know how I can go upstairs again when I get hungry, which stresses me out. I have never felt this way about anybody and I don't know what to do with how I'm feeling. I am horrified of bringing this baby home and dealing with her constant input. It took everything I had not to blow up at her just now; I simply went downstairs without saying much of anything. And now I've been fuming for the last hour about it.
I know this isn't healthy for me, but I don't know how to let go of my feelings towards her. I could write a novel on why she pisses me off so badly, but you guys don't need to hear that. But she is the single biggest point of contention between me and DH and I'm petrified of life with a baby in this house with that woman.