or Connect
Mothering › Groups › November 2011 Due Date Club › Discussions › October Chit Chat

October Chit Chat - Page 48

post #941 of 1015

Good morning.  

 

Nothing going on here.  I think I have finally started nesting.  The baby is up to my ribs today.  I carry very low so that is just weird.

 

I was going to put up a belly pic to show how very low I'm carrying, but this computer won't let me.  Oh well, back to scrubbing the walls and such.

  

post #942 of 1015

It's so funny that when I call this baby's dad out for not providing for his kid, all he can do is name call and say "whatever, whatever. I'm real and you're not. You're a w**re." He's spending over $300 a month on cigarettes, and buying new clothes and going out at night while I'm asking for cheap/free stuff from people I hardly know. *sigh* Sorry. I just didn't want to vent to family, cuz they don't know that I have been keeping in occasional contact with him. Not a dime has been contributed from him to his son. Nothing. He's pawning off that responsibility on his mom, who has BOTH of his daughters. One of which isn't his, but he claims and loves more than the one that IS his.

post #943 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN View Post

It's so funny that when I call this baby's dad out for not providing for his kid, all he can do is name call and say "whatever, whatever. I'm real and you're not. You're a w**re." He's spending over $300 a month on cigarettes, and buying new clothes and going out at night while I'm asking for cheap/free stuff from people I hardly know. *sigh* Sorry. I just didn't want to vent to family, cuz they don't know that I have been keeping in occasional contact with him. Not a dime has been contributed from him to his son. Nothing. He's pawning off that responsibility on his mom, who has BOTH of his daughters. One of which isn't his, but he claims and loves more than the one that IS his.



I have an ex like this.  My advice?  Let it go.  Don't ever count/depend on anything from him.  Prove you can do it yourself, because you CAN.  And don't bother being angry, it just wastes your time and energy and you get nothing as a result.

 

 

post #944 of 1015

My DS's bio dad is a lot like this guy.  I highly recommend walking away and not asking for anything.  The more you separate from him, the less likely he will be to seek visitation.  He's not a good role model and probably never will be.  If your DH is a good man, then just allow that to be your family.  Remove yourself from the drama and try your hardest to make your family life stable and balanced for your children.  Biology doesn't mean much, the person that puts the time, effort and love in does.  It will probably help your DH bond with this baby more if you aren't dealing with this other guy.  So long as he feels like someone else 'might' be the father I suspect he'll have a harder time connecting fully.  While is sucks in the beginning, it is SOOO much better in the long run.  I promise!  I have btdt and my DS is now 100% my dh's son.  We have no drama, no ex-boyfriend stress, my ds feels secure.  All of these things are so much more important than stuff or money.  I hope this all turns out the best for you. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN View Post

It's so funny that when I call this baby's dad out for not providing for his kid, all he can do is name call and say "whatever, whatever. I'm real and you're not. You're a w**re." He's spending over $300 a month on cigarettes, and buying new clothes and going out at night while I'm asking for cheap/free stuff from people I hardly know. *sigh* Sorry. I just didn't want to vent to family, cuz they don't know that I have been keeping in occasional contact with him. Not a dime has been contributed from him to his son. Nothing. He's pawning off that responsibility on his mom, who has BOTH of his daughters. One of which isn't his, but he claims and loves more than the one that IS his.



 

post #945 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

My DS's bio dad is a lot like this guy.  I highly recommend walking away and not asking for anything.  The more you separate from him, the less likely he will be to seek visitation.  He's not a good role model and probably never will be.  If your DH is a good man, then just allow that to be your family.  Remove yourself from the drama and try your hardest to make your family life stable and balanced for your children.  Biology doesn't mean much, the person that puts the time, effort and love in does.  It will probably help your DH bond with this baby more if you aren't dealing with this other guy.  So long as he feels like someone else 'might' be the father I suspect he'll have a harder time connecting fully.  While is sucks in the beginning, it is SOOO much better in the long run.  I promise!  I have btdt and my DS is now 100% my dh's son.  We have no drama, no ex-boyfriend stress, my ds feels secure.  All of these things are so much more important than stuff or money.  I hope this all turns out the best for you. 
 



 


I was honestly going to start looking into making the courts order me to have full custody. I blocked him from my facebook because that's how he was talking to me yesterday and this morning. I feel terrible for DH because he says if the baby's dad happens to be involved with visitation, he fears me being taken away by him again. I do feel alot better about not talking to him than trying to be civil in some way. I am seriously hoping that the dad will end up violating his probation and going back to jail. I know. Real winner, right? The key here is the process I've already started....disconnecting.
 

 

post #946 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

My DS's bio dad is a lot like this guy.  I highly recommend walking away and not asking for anything.  The more you separate from him, the less likely he will be to seek visitation.  He's not a good role model and probably never will be.  If your DH is a good man, then just allow that to be your family.  Remove yourself from the drama and try your hardest to make your family life stable and balanced for your children.  Biology doesn't mean much, the person that puts the time, effort and love in does.  It will probably help your DH bond with this baby more if you aren't dealing with this other guy.  So long as he feels like someone else 'might' be the father I suspect he'll have a harder time connecting fully.  While is sucks in the beginning, it is SOOO much better in the long run.  I promise!  I have btdt and my DS is now 100% my dh's son.  We have no drama, no ex-boyfriend stress, my ds feels secure.  All of these things are so much more important than stuff or money.  I hope this all turns out the best for you. 
 



 


Yes this!  Perfectly put.

 

post #947 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post

My DS's bio dad is a lot like this guy.  I highly recommend walking away and not asking for anything.  The more you separate from him, the less likely he will be to seek visitation.  He's not a good role model and probably never will be.  If your DH is a good man, then just allow that to be your family.  Remove yourself from the drama and try your hardest to make your family life stable and balanced for your children.  Biology doesn't mean much, the person that puts the time, effort and love in does.  It will probably help your DH bond with this baby more if you aren't dealing with this other guy.  So long as he feels like someone else 'might' be the father I suspect he'll have a harder time connecting fully.  While is sucks in the beginning, it is SOOO much better in the long run.  I promise!  I have btdt and my DS is now 100% my dh's son.  We have no drama, no ex-boyfriend stress, my ds feels secure.  All of these things are so much more important than stuff or money.  I hope this all turns out the best for you. 
 



 

I agree.

 

Especially with the "biology doesn't mean much" bit -- your ex has proven that he's on board with that concept by taking on and showing preference towards a child who isn't his.  Cut him off.  The worst thing you could do for everyone involved would be to keep in touch with this person.  He's abusive and immature and a bunch of BS that neither you, your baby, nor your DH need in your lives.
 

Nothing going on here.  Membrane sweep #2 tomorrow. Thanks so much to everyone for answering my question and posting about your experiences!  Jaimee, I saw all those studies you posted, and that's one of the reasons I opted for the sweep; as you know, I just don't want to go over 41 weeks!  So I'm less eager to get labor going right this minute than I am to do all I can to have my birth center birth!  Although labor right this minute would be pretty great, too...

post #948 of 1015
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraf View Post
Oh well, back to scrubbing the walls and such.

  

lol.gif  This cracked me up!
 

 

post #949 of 1015
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

Nothing going on here.  Membrane sweep #2 tomorrow. Thanks so much to everyone for answering my question and posting about your experiences!  Jaimee, I saw all those studies you posted, and that's one of the reasons I opted for the sweep; as you know, I just don't want to go over 41 weeks!  So I'm less eager to get labor going right this minute than I am to do all I can to have my birth center birth!  Although labor right this minute would be pretty great, too...


I hope this one gets things going!  Do you plan on asking for other labor inducing ideas from your mw?

 

post #950 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post


I hope this one gets things going!  Do you plan on asking for other labor inducing ideas from your mw?

 



Thanks, Jaimee!  Yes, I plan on discussing those ideas with her.  Especially re: the cohoshes.  I'll let you all know how it goes...

post #951 of 1015
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post



Thanks, Jaimee!  Yes, I plan on discussing those ideas with her.  Especially re: the cohoshes.  I'll let you all know how it goes...



Fingers crossed for you! I can't wait to see what the cohoshes will do for me. I'll do a couple doses starting in the middle of my 39th week.

 

post #952 of 1015

Can any mamas with SPD tell me what the next few weeks/labor are going to be like?  It gets worse each day, especially if I vacuumed or have been standing a lot.  He is still really high.  Does it get worse when baby drops/engages?  What about during labor?  Help!

post #953 of 1015

Happy Halloween! Today is the very last day before we enter our baby's official birth month! How crazy is THAT?

post #954 of 1015

Insomnia time!

 

Spreading the Halloween love.

post #955 of 1015

lol I had to give DH a ride to work this morning at 5 so I could have the car to go grocery shopping. This.....should be fun.

post #956 of 1015

LOL!   Ahhh Tim Curry, you gotta love him.

post #957 of 1015
Thread Starter 

Happy Halloween!!!  What are everyone's plans for tonight?

 

Dd is dressing as Tinker Bell, ds will be a lion, I'm just going to put on all black and a witch's hat and dh probably won't dress up at all.  We'll go trick or treating around our neighborhood, which is supposed to be pretty good.  We carved pumpkins yesterday and have our decorations up.  I can't believe it's the last day of October either!  Wow!

post #958 of 1015

Im SOOOO tired I cant even imagine having energy to take my kids trick or treating!  this is our first year in a residential neighborhood, and the kids are pretty excited.  I have a zombie and Glenda the good witch.  I will probably just go around the block with them, then come home and hand out candy and let DH handle the rest.

post #959 of 1015

Have you been to the chiro lately?  Every time my spd flares up I try to go the next day, plus I go every 2 weeks no matter how I'm feeling.  So far it's kept it under control and I still feel pretty good.

 

From my experience while pregnant with DD, by this point in pregnancy I could hardly walk.  If I walked more than a very specific (very small) amount each day, I would be stuck on the couch for three days trying to recover.  My babies have never 'dropped' that I know of, so I can't help you there.  In labor though it wasn't any worse.  The labor was my focus, the spd didn't matter much.  I don't remember it being an issue at all while pushing or anything.  I actually walked the whole time I was in labor because it kept my contractions moving along.  Yes, I suppose it was there, but I was used to that and the endorphins of labor won out.  Then, within 1-2 days of giving birth it was totally gone and I felt normal again (at least the pelvic pain area). 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

Can any mamas with SPD tell me what the next few weeks/labor are going to be like?  It gets worse each day, especially if I vacuumed or have been standing a lot.  He is still really high.  Does it get worse when baby drops/engages?  What about during labor?  Help!



We're going to trick-or-treat in a high-end neighborhood across town.  No one trick or treats on our street because it's too dark.  Plus, the other neighborhood gives out whole candy bars (like we really need that)!  My DS and I are going to be zombies, my DH is going to be the grinch and my DD is supposed to be Cindy-Lou Who.  So far my DD is refusing to wear her hair in a pony tail, but maybe she'll change her mind tonight?  Make sure that everyone takes pictures, let's post them up! 

post #960 of 1015

Happy Halloween

The kids are gonna be a  barbie mermaid princess and green lantern.

 

I'm so ready for H to be born, I'm now the most pregnant I've been, by my edd I'm 38wks5days, drs are using lmp which puts me at 39wks0days. Wensday when I had my follow up he did a u/s and said it looked like I was dilating so took a measurement which was neat watching and said I'm 2cm 50%. 

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: November 2011 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › November 2011 Due Date Club › Discussions › October Chit Chat