Personal background: I really want a natural, intervention free (unless medically necessary) birth and I want to have my baby with me following birth.
Story begins with me starting OB care with a midwife in a hospital practice. I love the hospital policies they have and liked the midwives, however, I had multiple fairly negative experiences (with staff) that ultimately led me to leave the practice.
I was very annoyed at that point and decided to go to a family friend who is an OB for care. I called him on his cell and he saw me that afternoon.
Now, at 22 weeks, I have discovered that the only hospital my friend OB delivers at is widely known for NOT being mother-baby and for being intervention happy. They do 10,000 births/year, which gives them lots of experience, but maybe not much personal care and accomodation for individual requests. They have very strict policies and are not very flexible. For example: my Dr. says must have an IV, only clear fluids, can't leave the room, induction at 41 weeks. Only 2 support people in the room, but they will allow intermittent monitoring.
When I said I wanted a natural birth, he said "Well, it is your pain!" Ok fine. He told me 95% of women there have epidurals, which makes me question their experience with natural births...he said I could move around, but that most women just want to lay on their backs when they are in so much pain (opposite of what I've heard/read about moving around in labor).
And the big kicker is they have a mandatory "observation" period where the baby must go to the nursery for 1-6 hours. No guarantees on how long it might be, depends on how busy/how well staffed they are that day.
His advice to me was "I encourage you to just go with the flow"...which I took as "don't be a problem and make things difficult, just do it our way". My husband (who refuses to take childbirth classes with me, but DID allow me to hire a doula), says much the same..."just let them do their job in peace".
The first hospital I was at was pretty much opposite, which is more conducive to a natural birth.
So now what? Switch back? Go somewhere else? Stay and fight? Try to have another conversation with my Dr? I probably didn't make it abundantly obvious how important these things are to me.
If this Dr. weren't a personal friend, I'd be gone. BUT how do I switch out tactfully from a friend? Or should I? Should I try to use that to my advantage and get what I want?
He has said that unless he is called out of state for an emergency, HE will be the one delivering my baby. I'm to call him on his cell phone when I am ready to go to the hospital.
Help!! I'm emotional and scared and nervous.