~October Pagan Parents Circle~ - Page 8

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by pampered_mom That would be me.  :0)  I'm impressed with your Goodwill find.  I'd totally PP you the shipping cost.

We're crafting up a storm here which is a bit unusual.  It's been fun to spend time with the kids preparing for Samhain.  I'm still trying to make plans for the family aside from our usual Halloween-type stuff.  I'm still thinking of going with our usual stuff on the 31st (dinner with my family, trick-or-treating, etc) and then following that up with a special dinner with just dh and the kids the day after.  Roast chicken, root veg, dinner rolls, and the pumpkin cupcakes I found on SmittenKitchen that we absolutely adore.

Along those lines...what do you do for Sabbats and non-pagan family - especially if you aren't particularly out about your faith.  When it comes to things like Halloween/Samhain, Christmas/Yule, and Ostara/Easter do you have dual celebrations?  In some ways I can see where those celebrations will be a bit simplified for us - especially since dh has the Solstice off this year, but not Christmas Eve/Day.  We could do something really special and he won't feel so left out as our big celebration has already taken place.  I've also been thinking about getting a copy of "Sabbat Entertaining" by Willow Polson for a Martha Stewart-esque take on the holidays.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what others are doing.

PM me your address! Shipping shouldn't be much if I send it media mail, think? But oh yeah; I have paypal! Forgot about that! I love love love paypal. So easy to send and receive payments for things!

Remember to set a place for your ancestor(s) at your Sabbat table! Especially with littles. Ask them if there are any relatives that have passed that they want to remember. Put a photo of hir at the "empty" place.

Non-Pagan family-- well, ds and I have our holy day celebrations as close to the day as we can. Then we do the secular holidaying with family on those days. For instance, we do family things on Winter Solstice, just the two of us (we're a 2-person family, ds and I) and then we often go to my Mom's on Christmas. She is involved with her church, so she does choir and what-not and leaves early on Christmas Eve to do those things. DS and I read "The Night Before Christmas" and "Silver Berries and Christmas Magic" http://www.rosiehippo.com/p-123-silver-berries-christmas-magic-60-off.aspx and then go to bed. Christmas morning, we have the Big Gift Extravaganza

This year, I think my brother and his two dd's are coming to Mom's as well.

Did anybody see my post about that? Someone please give me some idea as to what to get for them! They won't appreciate it anyway, probably, but ds and I need to make the gesture, at least

Oh, our family Solstice: I know I have posted it before. It's in the archives somewhere. But I make a Sun Bread http://www.amazon.com/Sun-Bread-Elisa-Kleven/dp/0142400734/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319203776&sr=8-1 and on Solstice morning, we get up just before sunrise. Quietly, we wait for Him to make his appearance, and when He does, we open the sparkling cider, throw Him up bits of bread, and dance and sing and make a big hoopla! Then we go in, have a small gift or two (stockings), usually homemade, and later we have a Feast.

Samhain: We talk about the family tree-- once when ds was about 4, I made a giant poster of our family tree back two-three generations, with Xeroxed photos of people on the branches. We don't have it anymore. This year I might draw out a simpler one on computer paper so that ds gets the relationships better. His father and mine are both deceased, and he gets mixed up as to whose dad, when I mention either of them. And he gets mixed up as to his half sister, his two cousins (my brother's girls), and our old babysitter, all of whom are roughly the same age.

We don't have a dumb supper-- ds couldn't shut up for 5 seconds, let alone 5 minutes, or a whole meal. But we do choose one ancestor and set a place for them, leaving little bits of the Feast on their plate, and sometimes making a meal of their favorite foods (even if they don't go, lol).

I go to the public rituals on most holy days.

DOK: Hope you feel up to par, soon. Maybe you could do some small ritual around your uterus, later, when you are feeling better? You know, some small release-type-thing.

[Aeress]

Hey Gals, I am in Philly having a great time!

Sending healing for all those in need!

[wombatclay]

dok- hugs and hopes for health and healing.  What a crummy anesthesiologist!  Can you complain to the hospital (when you feel better/have more energy)?  And maybe a ritual to help with the mourning process?  Some sort of passing the fertility torch/pampering yourself blend?  Hang in there!

chickens- we have 8, but 7 of those are golden comets (red sex linked) and they are famous for their "egg a day" minimum.  Sometimes they lay twice in a day and often their eggs are giant double yolkers.  So we get at least 7, usually 8, and on some days as many as 10 eggs a day.

box mix recipes (vydalea I think?)- I'm the same... I find a lot of baking overwhelming and love box mixes.  But if you look at the ingredients of a box mix, you'll see they aren't really saving you from anything difficult (you still have to add the wet ingredients and bake, and that's where the "work" is anyway).  All the box does is pre-mix the dry ingredients.  So what I do now is get a dozen big ziplock bags, my measuring cups/measuring spoons, and make my own mixes.  Just pick a time when you can relax a bit (I pour some wine and promise myself a treat when done) and reassure yourself that you WONT be cooking that day.  Pull out the various dry ingredients (so for the donuts that's flour, sugar, salt, baking powder, and spices) and one at a time measure out and dump into the waiting bags... then close the bags, use a sharpie or write on a piece of tape to remind you what the mix is and what needs to be done "DONUTS- preheat oven to X, add 2 eggs and 2 cups milk, bake 15 minutes" or whatever.  And tah-dah!  You've got a box mix!  It's true that some baking really is twitchy chemistry magic, but your basic "no yeast" items are pretty foolproof.  Exact proportion is important when you're looking for lift or a delicate texture (so a yeast item where your poofy relies on happy yeast, or something like a souffle where you need the eggs just so to inflate the dish, or something where you're combining acids/bases to get a specific gas release) but if you stick to "peasant food" you actually have to go out of your way to ruin it.  LOL  Not that it can't be done... I used to hold the title for world's worst cook after I burned a batch of jello.  I kid you not.  trust me, jello can burn and it's naaaaaaasty when it does.  Very "dessert of the evil dead" and I wasn't even able to salvage the pot.

muffin tin vs donut tray- when using a muffin tin just bake a bit longer.  Though a donut tray only costs ~8 dollars and we use ours instead of a muffin tin or baking sheet for lots of things (it cooks faster because there's more surface area, in the same vein you get more yummy crust/muffin top/goody space since there is more outside to inside, and the donut shape amuses people).  In fact, DH made gfree brownies in the donut pan last night... yum!  He called them "roundies" for round + brownie.  :)

dual celebrations- we do double up on holidays.  I actually like it because it lets me "split" our celebrations... outward/social/loud for the celebrations with extended family (seeing these as social events rather than spiritual holy days) and a more inward/thoughtful/quiet celebration of the day that has religious significance for us as an immediate family.  So for example we dress up and trick or treat with friends on Halloween to celebrate the secular community event but we also have a private home/hearth based ritual with a special meal to celebrate the religious side.  And in December we have a Solstice calendar that the kiddos use to count down to Solstice... during which time we hang stockings, burn a fire, offer gifts to the gods/honored dead/local spirits and animals, volunteer at a soup kitchen, finish shipping the holiday helper boxes, exchange a few home made gifts, share a traditional meal and focus on the importance of giving and the mutual dependence that creates a strong family unit, ...but then we also visit relatives, give and get "store bought" sorts of gifts, sing carols, participate in toy drives and holiday charity parties, and do all the "busy social stuff" that goes along with the modern secular celebration of Christmas a few days later.  (though our December is a bit crowded with small celebrations... which works better for us than a single "blow out" day)

maia/gifts- I have a similar situation since dh's sister (20 years older than he is) and her family are very well off.  They're not really "hand made gift" types (we've tried that and it wasn't worth it) so we give a donation in their name to their favorite cause (a vegan run farm animal rescue organization) and a small consumable gift (a home made tea blend, cookies or a cake, a candle, whatever).  We do try to have sommething more "fun" for their daughter though... a "movie night" basket with a 4 pack of good soda, a bag of microwave popcorn, a gift card for a dvd download, and a box of candy.  Or a "tea/coffee time" gift with a travel sized french press (10 dollars at target, less at TJMaxx type stores), a box of tea, a sample pack of flavored coffee, and a magazine (or B&N/Starbucks gift card).  Things like that where there isn't a big financial or time commitment on the part of the giver and where the individual parts are take or leave with no real effort required by the person getting the gift.

ok, this post was written over about 3 hours so I'm sure I missed stuff.  Apologies!  lol

[vydalea]

DoK:  sending you love, positive, healing energy and hoping you have time to mourn this ending.  I am so sorry your anesthesiologist caused you more pain.  

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali 

Quick update:  The actual surgery went well but the anesthesiologist was horrible.  My doc was appalled.  I was given too much anesthesia because the anesthesiologist couldn't get my body to relax enough to get me intubated.  She ended up cramming the tube down my throat...causing damage.

I'm having bad whole body pain (muscular).  It feels like I got hit by a car.  I really hurt.  I developed a cough (which could be from intubation) and the coughing gives me the most sharp, severe pain in the ribs/chest.  It's BAD.  I'm on constant vicodin (it's the only way I don't cry out in pain.)

I had to send my sister home because she has a cough.  I may have caught her cough.

I'm feeling sad that my uterus is gone.  It has served me well (gave me my one and only child.)  I get weepy on and off about it.

Ok, that's the condensed version.  Time for more vicodin before bed.

Thanks for all the thoughts!

Aeress: We're going to be near Philly (cinnaminson, nj) this weekend!  Glad to hear you're having a blast!! HOORAY!

Clay:  You're so good.  I love the idea of making "premixes" - a billion times cheaper (and likely with better ingredients!) than buying the box.  

Thank you to both Maia and Clay for sharing your holiday celebrations.  Both are very interesting and give me some great ideas.  I love celebrating and remembering the ancestors.  So amazing and important.

Maia: I think Clay's idea for the "gift baskets" is fabulous.  It's so hard to buy for people who have everything and don't really appreciate what you get them.  You could always be like my grandpa who used to wrap our one small gift in 6 boxes that got smaller and smaller so there was lots of unwrapping which was fun.  

In the midst of making a fall "welcome" sign for our home.  The one out front is currently very vibrant with a dragonfly and I'm just not feeling it for this time of year.  Z is at her grandma's today and I actually had some time to just meander around the craft store and saw this great piece of wood and envisioned at pumpkin welcome sign on it.  Hopefully it will come out close to what I'm thinking!! :) 

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by wombatclay And in December we have a Solstice calendar that the kiddos use to count down to Solstice... during which time we hang stockings, burn a fire, offer gifts to the gods/honored dead/local spirits and animals, volunteer at a soup kitchen, finish shipping the holiday helper boxes, exchange a few home made gifts, share a traditional meal and focus on the importance of giving and the mutual dependence that creates a strong family unit, ...but then we also visit relatives, give and get "store bought" sorts of gifts, sing carols, participate in toy drives and holiday charity parties, and do all the "busy social stuff" that goes along with the modern secular celebration of Christmas a few days later.  (though our December is a bit crowded with small celebrations... which works better for us than a single "blow out" day)

maia/gifts- I have a similar situation since dh's sister (20 years older than he is) and her family are very well off.  They're not really "hand made gift" types (we've tried that and it wasn't worth it) so we give a donation in their name to their favorite cause (a vegan run farm animal rescue organization) and a small consumable gift (a home made tea blend, cookies or a cake, a candle, whatever).  We do try to have sommething more "fun" for their daughter though... a "movie night" basket with a 4 pack of good soda, a bag of microwave popcorn, a gift card for a dvd download, and a box of candy.  Or a "tea/coffee time" gift with a travel sized french press (10 dollars at target, less at TJMaxx type stores), a box of tea, a sample pack of flavored coffee, and a magazine (or B&N/Starbucks gift card).  Things like that where there isn't a big financial or time commitment on the part of the giver and where the individual parts are take or leave with no real effort required by the person getting the gift.

OK I am definitely writing down some of those ideas.

More help? The younger dd is 17 and going off to college next year. Any ideas for maybe some sort of "care package" ahead of time? Think that'd be a plan?

Sigh-- they're both snots, too. The elder is the one that, a few years ago, had so much trouble with drinking and drugs and sneaking out of the house that my brother had her "abducted" by this boot-camp style school in the boonies of SC (2hr due south of me, actually) and she lived there for several months. Do y'all recall that? She's still lost, aimless, no direction at all.

The younger is VERY driven. Talk about opposites. She's a soccer star and I think an Olympic hopeful, not sure. She got into this college on a full scholarship. As I understand it, several schools offered her a scholarship based on her soccer skills. She's got her whole life planned out, what she'll do if/when the soccer stops working for her, etc.

My brother...I have no idea. I think one thing I may get him is a local 6pack of beer. Asheville was voted beer city (or something) for its microbrews. A beer basket? What would go with that? He's not an alkie. Rather just enjoys a good brew now and then. He is very into boats. He used to (and may still) race smaller ones, 16ft or so, outboards. He writes freelance for some boating mags, Bass Boat and such, even though he's not a fisher-type-person. He also likes snowmobiles. He and his wife are splitting up. I used to get them a gift card together to a restaurant. I'd like to get him something just for him.

Clay-- I understand y'all do something every day on your holiday calendar? Care to elaborate? Do you plan it all out ahead? There's no way we can probably do something *every day*-- plus ds is not at all into crafts anymore; he prefers to do stuff just by himself (build elaborate paper guns from YouTube videos), but I'd like to do something. Even though life just plumb wears me out most days.

Plus I'd like to somehow incorporate Advent into it, somehow. DS and I are still exploring the Catholic church. I don't see a whole lot of differences in the trappings. I do have a Yule log with 4 candle holes and I used to light one every week of Pagan "Advent"-- I can still do that, but what I wonder is, for advent, when people/churches light a candle for every week, do they let the first one burn down, and then add two new ones on week2, for instance? Because if no, Week2 has a partially burnt candle from Week1 and a new one for Week2...not sure how the actual business goes

[LionessMom]

hey ya'll. i feel kinda bad that i read all the time but dont post much. lol. 

feeling fall in the air today. it smells good. DH already put up the halloween decs and i volunteered to help the church set up the halloween party. 

i have been taking a real hard look at my beliefs lately and coming to a good spot about them. everything that i thought was contradictory in me is actually not. it is ok that i dont fit into what everybody thinks a pagan should be and that i dont do all the things that pagans are supposed to do or even believe all the stuff they are supposed to. yk, according to the internet and all the books. lol. i think the uu church was exactly what i needed at this time in my life. i am having the kids dedicated on nov 6. they are all pretty excited. they all love the uu church too, even my oldest, the teen, who doesnt like anything. 

hoping that this finds you all healthy and happy or on the way to becoming so. 

[wombatclay]

Lioness- yay!  What a good place to have arrived!

College bound kiddo gift pack... coffee, day planner type book (calendar, space for notes, etc), gift cert for store that is local to the college (Cornell actually offers a service where people can have food/snacks/goodies delivered to students from the university dining staff but I don't know what that costs or how many schools offer something similar, but there is sure to be a big box nearby or maybe find out if there is a funky local spot that has a gift cert options), a nice pen, a travel sized alarm clock, and a laundry bag with a roll of quarters!  My niece hits college next year and we're giing her a party pouch too... a small, nice, handbag with a phone card, cab card (like a gift cert, but issued by the local cab company), a card with the college's safety/help services info, a pepper spray keyring thing, etc.  But that's a bit more specific to the person/school.

You could always be like my grandpa who used to wrap our one small gift in 6 boxes that got smaller and smaller so there was lots of unwrapping which was fun.

LOL!  Growing up, holiday gifts were a big deal in terms of creativity of packaging (probably because there wasn't a lot of "gift" to wrap).  Guessing gifts was part of it, so wrapping was designed to mislead... books wrapped inside layers of towel, items wrapped with bells/rattles to disguise sound, random stuff wrapped up with directions to the actual gift written on the inside of the paper, etc.  And eventually gifts would be numbered so the gift getter would open them in the right order for the full effect.  LOL  One year my brother gave my dad the Narnia books... wrapped one at a time, from last book to first, ending with a beautiful candlestick shaped like a lamppost.  And another year I gave my brother an "evolution" gift... a jar of homemade slime, a copy of the paleo diet book, a framed cross-stitch of "domesticated animals" and a loaf of homemade bread with honey, a "voodoo computer" plushie (he works in comsec), and a dvd of 2001.

Baking mixes- it was DH who set me up with that technique.  I just balk at recipes that have lots of ingredients/steps so by having a prep day that is totally unrelated to baking day I can fool myself.  DH used to prep the bags for me (we were living close to the bone, we HAD to cook from scratch, I needed help!).

DoK- how are you feeling today?  Better?  Does warm honey help your throat?

Winter Holiday schedule- not every day!  But it sometimes seems that way.  We celebrate St Nicholas' Day (dec 6), St Lucia's Day (dec 13), Mother's Night/Modresnach (dec 20), Yule (dec 21), Christmas (dec 25), New Years (jan 1), and 12th Night/Epiphany (jan 6th).  And we celebrate, honor, and enjoy the company (and gifts lol) of St Nicholas on his day, St Lucy on her day, Mother Holle on Modresnach and Yule, the Christ child/Newborn Sun child on Christmas, the spirits of the land and animals on New Years, and La Befana on 12th Night.  Starting on Dec 1st we try to do one seasonal thing each weekend... getting and decorating the tree, making cookies, making gingerbread houses, caroling, making ornaments, whatever it may be.  Basically just pick 4 or 5 "things" and then let the rest go without guilt!  For the actual holidays...

We start our Yule chart on Dec 1st, and open one ray of the sun each night till the sun is reborn on Solstice morning.  We tell the story of Mother Holle each night (synopsis here and our old solstice calendar had individual "snow feathers", one added each day, till Mother Holle's feathers had blanketed everything but the sun image works better for us now)

st nicholas' day- we get and put up the tree, telling the story of the coins in the shoes.  We finish packing Holiday Helper boxes and try to do some sort of local volunteer work to celebrate the day/spirit of giving "in disguise" (so giving anonymously/without thanks).

st lucia's day- each kiddo (ds too) gets a crown (green felt "leaves" and led tealight candles) and dd1 serves cookies/cocoa to the family in the evening while we watch the Nutcracker Ballet on dvd.

Modresnach (more related info here)  - kind of a "pamper mama" type evening!  The kids give me little cards and "love you" tokens, and after the kiddos are in bed I get dh snuggle time with a yummy eggnog and cookies.  It's also the night we put the mother/sun child figures in our outdoor altar space and light lots and lots of candles in the snow to usher in the Solstice.  I make a necklace or beaded item to offer Mother Holle on this night and put away my fiber arts stuff till after 12th Night.

Yule- Mother Holle brings the gifts and St Nicholars fills the stockings... generally we open just the gifts of our immediate family on Yule, mostly handmade or simple.  (we try to stick with the "something you want, something you need/something to wear, something to read" formula with one or two "big gifts" for all the kids to share, and stockings have craft supplies, oranges, chocolate coins, and toothbrush/toothpaste).  We run around in the snow banging on pot lids and drums and blowing whistles to welcome the sun and we hang dried orange slices and sparkly sun catchers on the trees in our woods.  We also toss out bird seed and popcorn, offer our gifts to Mother Holle, light the bonfire, sing holiday songs, and have a traditional meal (very Dickensian with Norse flair lol).

Christmas- celebrated with extended family this turns into a sort of free for all of "getting" unfortunately.  But it's mostly us being in other people's space and conforming to their holiday traditions.  At home we do have some food traditions of our own for the day but for the most part we are out/about.

New Years- fairly secular with the staying up and "ringing in" of the new year.  We have a small fire to burn the regrets/sorrows of the old year, then we put out that fire, clean out the fire space, and lay a fresh fire to welcome in/energize the hopes of the new year.  I clean a lot during the Christmas to New Years week (many of those new Christmas toys get donated this week!) and we throw open all the windows and doors, make lots of noise and chase off the old year, then welcome the spirits of the land and home back in (we warn our house spirits beforehand so they're not surprised!).  We also make a family fruitcake (everyone stirs the mix, it's good luck) which we'll eat/offer some to the gods the following Yule.

12th Night/Epiphany- we tell the story of La Befana and leave our shoes out with straw for her donkey.  In the morning there are oranges and little treats in the shoes.  We take down all the holiday stuff (traditionally it's bad luck to have holiday stuff out after 12th night), goof off, have our bean cake (but all the kids get crowns and wands) and wassail, sing songs outside, dance silly dances, all that fun stuff!

And mixed in there are the 4-5 "holiday craft things" we've selected... like gingerbread houses or whatever.  It seems like a lot (ok, it IS a lot) but since it's mostly small stuff and spread out it's not as hard to manage as one big blowout of "everything all at once".  The kids don't have the same sort of sugar binge let down they might have if everything was tied to one day, dh and I don't have to have everything ready for a single day (a gift that isn't done by one day can be given on another, special foods happen one at a time, and so on), and it eases everyone through the month and points us towards spring.

[DaughterOfKali]

I posted an update on my blog.

Clay- I'm out of honey. Wonder if I can ask someone to pick some local honey up for me.

[vydalea]

Maia: For your brother's beer basket you could get him a bottle opener, pretzels, peanuts, mustard (my mom always gets my husband this local made gourmet mustard for holidays), you know general, fun snacks. I like the "getting ready for college" basket for the younger niece.  Sounds like you might want to add laundry detergent and maybe instructions on HOW to do her laundry!  The older one sounds difficult.  Could you do a coffee and chocolate basket or something?  Add in some biscotti.  I think Clay was mentioning something like that in an earlier post.  I think that sounds awesome.  

Clay: thanks for the detailed list.  you are so darn good.  how do you make homemade slime?  I want to make some for our niece for her Halloween treat. I used to make this cool goop with liquid cornstarch, glue and something else for the kiddies that was "slime like" but I can't for the life of me remember the recipe.

DoK: You're even out of honey?  I wish I were closer and could snag some for you!  

Lioness: Awesome for you.  It sounds like you are feeling very confident in where you are and that is beautiful.

Spent the weekend on the Jersey side of Philadelphia.  Took Z to the Camden aquarium.  I don't know who said "wow!" more times.  

[LionessMom]

pssst i have a secret. dont tell anyone.

[Aubergine68]

I'm too busy to post - things settle down after Samhain, I hope.  But I wanted to say Merci for the doughnut muffin recipe, Clay- I will be trying that for sure!!!

Also, I saw this in my flyby.....

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

pssst i have a secret. dont tell anyone.

 Wow!!!!! Congratulations, sweetie!  How are you feeling?

[LionessMom]

Originally Posted by Aubergine68 

I'm too busy to post - things settle down after Samhain, I hope.  But I wanted to say Merci for the doughnut muffin recipe, Clay- I will be trying that for sure!!!

Also, I saw this in my flyby.....

 Wow!!!!! Congratulations, sweetie!  How are you feeling?

lol. nauseaus.

[revolting]

DoK - Hope you are feeling better soon! That sucks about the anesthesiologist.

While I've been leading crafts for my youngest, telling her stories about her ancestors, set up an ancestor altar (very simple), we don't have a formal celebration on Halloween. Where we live, there really isn't anywhere to trick-or-treat: all big complexes like the one where we live, so we go out to my parents' home in the suburbs. They aren't Pagan. It isn't my space. Maybe one day when we move into our own home...

We are going to do a celebration on Solstice. That's easier, since it's a few days away from Christmas and Hanukkah. We're pretty laid back, though. My husband will take off work. We'll drive over to the lake and wait for the sun to come up while drinking hot chocolate. I'm thinking about getting bells to ring for when we spot the first light from the sun. My kids are 4.5 and 1.5. If it gets too complicated, it won't get done.

So, for mamas who make Halloween costumes, how do you do it and keep it cheap and easy? I've only managed to make a costume one year and that's when I only had one kid. The last two years, I seem to spend a few months looking for the sweats that are the base of the costume at the thrift store and can't find any, and end up doing store bought costumes.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea Maia: For your brother's beer basket you could get him a bottle opener, pretzels, peanuts, mustard (my mom always gets my husband this local made gourmet mustard for holidays), you know general, fun snacks.

Clay: thanks for the detailed list.  you are so darn good.  how do you make homemade slime? 

Great idea! Thank you!

We used to make slime. It's really easy. TIP: do NOT color it! The food coloring gets all over things and stains them, no matter how old the slime gets. Also, if you keep it in the fridge, it eventually hardens. Not hardens hardens, but kind of gels into one big piece. It's still fun to play with, just not drippy-slimy anymore.

Originally Posted by LionessMom pssst i have a secret. dont tell anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LionessMom lol. nauseaus.

OMG I think I have guessed! Yay you!

Originally Posted by revolting My husband will take off work. We'll drive over to the lake and wait for the sun to come up while drinking hot chocolate. I'm thinking about getting bells to ring for when we spot the first light from the sun. My kids are 4.5 and 1.5. If it gets too complicated, it won't get done.

It won't, don't worry. We don't ring bells, but we do see who spots the newborn Sun first, and we dance and sing Sun Songs that we make up on the spot. That's fun and easy!

My ds thinks store-bought costumes are the bomb He loves those stupid polyester costumes. Oh well-- easier for me, I guess.

Oh, mamas....M has been drinking. A lot. I had no idea. He just admitted he came off a week-long binge. ON LITHIUM. Omg, I am so despondent. We spent like 6 hours on the phone and web cam yesterday. I'm so afraid he won't be able to stop. And will die.

I freaking hate alcoholism. I hate it. I can't even begin to imagine what havoc I wreaked in other people's lives as a drinking woman.

He SAYS he's willing to go to just about any length to stop this. I am dubious. I have heard this song and dance before. Time will tell. Please keep him and us in your thoughts and prayers.

[LionessMom]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

OMG I think I have guessed! Yay you!

Oh, mamas....M has been drinking. A lot. I had no idea. He just admitted he came off a week-long binge. ON LITHIUM. Omg, I am so despondent. We spent like 6 hours on the phone and web cam yesterday. I'm so afraid he won't be able to stop. And will die.

I freaking hate alcoholism. I hate it. I can't even begin to imagine what havoc I wreaked in other people's lives as a drinking woman.

He SAYS he's willing to go to just about any length to stop this. I am dubious. I have heard this song and dance before. Time will tell. Please keep him and us in your thoughts and prayers.

i put in my siggie. lol.

alcoholism is ugly. i am so sorry that you are going through this. remember what they teach you. you can be there for him but only he can do anything about it. <<hugs>>

[wombatclay]

LIONESS- SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Bibble bibble bounce bounce w00t!!!!!!!!!!  Happy dance!  :)  Sorry you feel like ick though.

Maia- Hugs sweetie, I'm so sorry.  Hang in there and do what you have to do to keep /yourself/ healthy, safe, and sane.

DoK- how you feeling today?  Any better?  Salt water gargles maybe?  Hope you're at least pain free soon!

costumes- I love those "jacket" style costumes (the kind where the costum is put on with a front zipper, or pulled on over the head like a vest?) since they're so darn easy to get into (since the kiddos can't ride in their costumes and trick or treating around here requires a car so costumes that are easy on/easy offare a must if they're any bulkier than "normal clothes").  But we usually end up making a few costumes too.  I usually ask the kiddos to describe the costume they want and then distill that into it's basic elements.  So for instance, one year dd1 wanted to be a peacock... so we went to the thrift store, got a huge turquoise shirt and blue pants, braided her hair and stuck some peacock feathers in it (from the craft store).  We figured out how to make a tail too (sort of a fan of feathers attached to a belt) that she wore at her costume party but decide against wearing on the actual night.  Another year I made a dinosaur costume... green pants, green shirt, and a "dino hat" made out of a sheet of green bendy foam from the craft store.  The hat was basically a triangle... white cardboard teeth were glued to the indside of the "mouth end", googly eyes glued to the appropriate spots, and the whole thing tied with a shoelace under dd1's chin.  Oh, and she insisted on "claws" on her feet (she was a velociraptor of course) so I made those out of leftover green foam and ducttaped them to her shoes.  Hmmmm.... that year dd2 was a "chicken fairy princess" so her costume was pretty easy... a princess dress from the costume box and a whole bunch of chicken feathers in her hair/tied to her dress/on her shoes.  No one had a clue what she was, but she loved it!  Let me think.  Growing up I was the Goddess Diana (tin foil crescent moon attached to a headband, white sheet "toga" over white long johns), my brother was a "snow ninja" (white long johns, white karate outfit from thrift store, white bandages wrapping foot to knee/elbow to wrist) and the following year a mummy using the same basic parts, I was Little Bo Peep once with a poofy dress and a cardboard shepherd's crook, a rainbow (colored scarves tied to my arms and around my waist and in my hair), a tossed salad (I was a toddler, apparently I wore green and my parents attached felt food with safety pins), a trash fairy or Vampire Hunter D or Morticia Addams or Spawn look (in college, cut a black garbage bag into two inch wide strips, attach strips to duct tape at one end and wrap duct tape around waist to creat a "hula skirt" sort of thing and wear over a body suit with wings or with a hat or whatever... the plastic strips get charged with static and "reach out" to grab stuff...it's much fun!), my brother was a knight in cardboard and tin foil armor, Harpo Marx (long white lab coat, bowler hat, bike horn), mad scientist (same lab coat, different props), etc.

I think homemade costumes, or rather parent made costumes, work pretty well for younger kids... once kiddos are older though I think either they need to make the costume themselves (which is what I did growing up after the age of about 10) or they'll be happier with store bought so they'll match their peer group.

Health- sick like unto the proverbial dog.  :(  This is my second cold since Tiel was born and it's a doozy.  It's not mastitis, and I'm doing what I can to keep it that way, but I'm wiped out.  Last night Tiel decided she would sleep from 10:30pm-1:30am and then she'd only sleep if I held her upright and bounced her.  So there I am, feverish, sick, and bouncing in the dark.  Any time I'd put her down she'd start fussing and then wake all the way up and want to nurse.  But she nursed so much she started "spilling" so I ended up changing her outfit twice, my jammies twice, and the sheets once.  And right now my hair is nasty with partially processed post-baby breastmilk.  Ugh.  I feel like crud and look it too.  I told dh that this coming weekend I don't care which child we have to sell.... I want pants that fit, a hair cut that looks good, and glasses that are not held together with super glue/tape (since they're giving me massive headaches I think new glasses fall into "must" rather than "want").  Of course, what I wanted was for him to offer these things this weekend since it's Tiel's one month anniversary and he actually TOLD me he was going to do something special.  But then he "ran out of time" to do whatever it was he thought he was going to do, and I got sick and didn't feel like dragging myself to the thrift store with four small kiddos in tow while he mowed the yard.  Sooooooo.  It didn't happen.  But dear lords and ladies of light I no longer care... if I am going to be totally "sleep free" and filled with ouch (fever of 100 /with/ the meds, hypersensitive to cold/touch, congested, lymph nodes the size of golf balls in my jaw and neck, etc), and coered with spit up.... I want to at least pretend I'm sparkly and spiffy and on top of stuff you know?  LOL

Menu planning- since we're having a budget crunch thanks to the new babe/medical bills I planned out a menu and shopping list.  Since I was so sick dh offered to go get the shopping and take the three bigger kids (on sat).  I wrote the list, including brands/sizes, and in the order you'd reach the item in the store.  I highlinghted 4 things he could put back if the total was going to be above 100 dollars (since I wasn't sure of price on a few things) and reminded him a couple times of our budget.  And you guessed it... he spent 136 dollars and yet didn't actually have all the items on the list.  In fact, he forgot to get several pretty crucial items (fruit for lunches and snacks, corn cakes to make sandwiches, gfree flour to use in a few dinner recipes, taco shells which were the basis for two meals).  And the thing was... he was so proud!  He had compared unit prices and purchased two small jars of peanut butter instead of one large jar since the unit price was better (though without corn cakes and/or flour I can't make anything to put the pb on, we don't have shelf space for two jars, and despite the better unit price it still cost more total since he bought two instead of one) and spent 20 dollars on a roast since the per lb price was good (though still more per lb than the ground beef I'd put on the list and obviously /not/ going to work as a taco filling, burger meal, or meatloaf... so there go three dinners!).  Sigh.  And HE was the one who really freaked out about the budget last week.  Obviously he can't do the shopping, even with a super detailed list, and that's fine.  I'm trying to figure out meal ideas to use what he did get, thankfully we have carrots/kix/raisins so the kids can eat veggies or "trail mix" instead of apples for snacks, and we have plenty of eggs!  I think my next attempt at a grocery/menu adventure will be to take the babe and leave the big kids with dh.  If only I'm not feverish!  LOL sniffle LOL hack hack cough

[witchygrrl]

Holy moly, Maia--No wonder he was having issues with the drugs if he was drinking on top of that. maybe the dose was wrong too, but yikes!!! I'm glad he finally came clean, but still. i'd be so angry and sad at the same time, too. big hugs. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and cure him of this.

DoK, how are you holding up?

Lioness! Hooray! You've been wanting another baby, so good news!

Clay, your Dh is not allowed to shop again, right? And yes, you deserve major time off. I wish I could give that to you!

A me update: I'm sick with some sort of throat cold, which makes my voice sound awful. That would be no problem if I didn't have to teach for three hours today, and 6 hours tomorrow. I can't just demo it because it's grammar, writing, and oral communication!!! Yes, let me show you the finer points of giving a speech with my creaky voice.

I also have zero patience with my 3 year old. She's just being three, I know, but I have such a short fuse these days! But then she does something cute (like sing a song of thanks to Mother Earth that she learned at school) and then I melt. 

[LionessMom]

Originally Posted by wombatclay 

LIONESS- SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Bibble bibble bounce bounce w00t!!!!!!!!!!  Happy dance!  :)  Sorry you feel like ick though.

Health- sick like unto the proverbial dog.  :( 

 And the thing was... he was so proud!  

thanks. i am excited but nervous.

we are all sick here too. i just want to sleep i am so tired, but the 2 yr old is sick too and wants to sleep on me all night. i have to get up to pee 3 times a night and she screams every time. 

that is why my dh doesnt shop either. unless it is for himself. he really doesnt know about our safe food. he tries though. i think it is cute how proud of themselves they are when they do our jobs and think they got it right. it makes it so hard to rain on their parade.

Originally Posted by witchygrrl 

Lioness! Hooray! You've been wanting another baby, so good news!

A me update: I'm sick with some sort of throat cold, which makes my voice sound awful. That would be no problem if I didn't have to teach for three hours today, and 6 hours tomorrow. I can't just demo it because it's grammar, writing, and oral communication!!! Yes, let me show you the finer points of giving a speech with my creaky voice.

 i wasnt quite ready yet. i just knew i was missing someone. and it definitely feels like the person i was missing is here now.

the throat thing is what we got too. so nasty. using eucalyptus oil in the vaporizer, drinking homemade lemonade (thins mucus), and making chicken soup tonight. we are also going to the chiro today. 

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by LionessMom alcoholism is ugly. i am so sorry that you are going through this. remember what they teach you. you can be there for him but only he can do anything about it. <<hugs>>

Originally Posted by wombatclay Maia- Hugs sweetie, I'm so sorry.  Hang in there and do what you have to do to keep /yourself/ healthy, safe, and sane.

I think my next attempt at a grocery/menu adventure will be to take the babe and leave the big kids with dh.  If only I'm not feverish!  LOL sniffle LOL hack hack cough

Quote:

Originally Posted by witchygrrl Holy moly, Maia--No wonder he was having issues with the drugs if he was drinking on top of that. maybe the dose was wrong too, but yikes!!! I'm glad he finally came clean, but still. i'd be so angry and sad at the same time, too. big hugs. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and cure him of this.

Yeah-- thanks, guys. I'm not angry except about the lying. I can not BELIEVE he was on cam with me, disappearing out of view so he could slam sips down-- and here I thought it was just pacing because of the meds. I'm so, so upset about that. And I'm not even angry; I'm just so dumbfounded that it was a weeklong binge and I had no idea. I was not that kind of alcoholic. I was a daily drinker, a club kid, who arranged my life so that I could drink openly and I did not care. He is a periodic, does not need it nor want it every day or even every week, but when it hits, it hits hard, and he is helpless to stop it. Even if it's a whole 10m walk to the liquor store. He does not, or is not able, to change his mind along the way

Oh gods, mamas. I hope he finds recovery. I can't wait for the day he is on fire with it. I'm not counting any eggs, but I have seen some heinous cases get sober, back where I got sober. You never know.

Originally Posted by witchygrrl A me update: I'm sick with some sort of throat cold, which makes my voice sound awful. That would be no problem if I didn't have to teach for three hours today, and 6 hours tomorrow. I can't just demo it because it's grammar, writing, and oral communication!!! Yes, let me show you the finer points of giving a speech with my creaky voice.

I also have zero patience with my 3 year old. She's just being three, I know, but I have such a short fuse these days! But then she does something cute (like sing a song of thanks to Mother Earth that she learned at school) and then I melt. 

OK is it mean of me to think there's some cosmic joke about a communications teacher with no voice? Sorry

BOOK TITLE: "Your Three Year Old" by Louise Bates Ames. Get it now. It will save your sanity. It saved mine. Don't worry, witchy-- 4 is the reward for not killing them at 3
 

Men shopping-- they think they're cute when they do anything. Like take out the trash. As if that's not something a 3yo can do Yet they can fix cars and under the sink and all sorts of stuff!

Clay-- one of the meals you can make out of that roast is soup. Trying to think of others....why can you not do tacos? You just have to cut it small or shred it, instead of ground as in ground beef. Trying to come up with more ideas cause I have two roasts in my deep freezer that I want to use multi-ways instead of just dumping in the crock pot and nom nom nomming them!

And YES on you going to the store with Tiel and leaving the rest home!!!

[wombatclay]

Oh Maia, that stinks!

pot roast- I don't cook meat.  Well, that's not exactly true.  The only pork we eat is bacon (and that's an every couple of month treat), we don't eat fish/sea food/shell fish (allergies), and we have ground beef or shredded chicken maybe once or twice a week since my mom puts chicken or beef in most of her canned stews/soups/slaws.  So really it boils down to the fact that I'm not comfy cooking most "big cuts" of meat.  I'll do ground beef and bacon, maybe (maybe!) chicken breasts if forced.  But more than that it goes to DH for cooking.  So if he cooks the roast and shreds it I could make tacos... assuming of course that he had bought the taco shells.  Which he didn't. 

sick- wow, we're sharing cyber germs!  My throat hurts so much, and my voice is shot too.  The kids are going wild because the babe has me chair bound for nursing AND I can't yell so it's like they know I'm just there for show!  My fever is up to 99.9 with meds now.  Hope the babe stays ok.