~October Pagan Parents Circle~ - Page 10

[wombatclay]

DoK- hugs and hankies.  I hope the doctor has some ideas for helping with the related ouchies.  Is there a counseling service through the hospital maybe?  The hospital where I delivered dd3 has a PPD therapist who visits every mom pre-discharge and a PPD phone line, and in the elevators there were posters for a mastectomy support group.  Maybe your hospital has something similar?  Even if it's a more general surgical support group, they must realize this sort of surgery is a "loss" for the woman inolved, no matter how necessary the surgery may have been.

Witchy- if your Wegmans is like ours, thet GF items are in a section called "Nature's Harvest".  They don't have GF baked goods in the bakery because of cross contamination concerns (both from flour in the air/on the staff aprons as well as on customers' hands as people pick things up/put them back).  It's the whole "made in a facility that also processes BLANK" problem.  Oh... one handy thing about Wegmans is their store brand is all allergy labled!  A "G" on a Wegmans item means it's gluten free!

Maia- There are several Goddesses with similar names related to the story/season... Hulda, Hel, Holle, Hloda, Jord.  In the Grimm's story I think they use the name Hulda.  We use Holle in part because it sounds like "Holly" (so a seasonal thing) and because we're coming from the religious side rather than the literary side.  :)  Yay for the score!  What a haul!

health- feeling a bit better, still achy and sore with swollen lymph nodes, but world's better than I was.

weather- it's SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Argh.  Not unexpected but still.  I'm glad we figured out ways to layer the kiddos' costumes, but we still don't have any pellets so right now we're heating with electric space heaters.  ouch!

routine- I feel like I'm trapped in a pink panther movie or something... I'm just falling from one disaster to another.  I know it's only been 5 weeks but I'm just not finding a rhythm.  There's just no time.  No time for what MUST get done, and no time for things like MDC.  I'm only here (after two days of not making it online at all) because I yelled my head off telling the kids to leave me alone.  :(  DH is at work, homeschool is waiting on the table, the baby is crying on my arm as I bounce while typing (her tummy hurts I think), the laundry is waiting in the bathroom, the dishes are on the counter (and I only finished breakfast a few minutes ago, and although I've been up since 6 I've only had mouthfuls of my own meal).  I know this will come together somehow, but I don't see how.  And Dh is going to be less available starting next week.... so I'll have less backup.  Or rather, the backup will be there, just in actual backup mode meaning not an everyday sort of thing. 

Hmmmm.... snow, golden leaves, family, friends, good books, hot tea.... there we go!  Positive notes!  :)

[redveg]

Originally Posted by eyeamviolet 

Blessings to all as the seasons change here in the NorthEast US.  Life gets busy and I'm not as in touch with the changing world around me as much as I would like.  I would like to find time to make it to at least High Holiday Rituals.  Haven't found much in the way of community here in Eastern MA though.  If anyone is out my way I would love to connect.

Welcome:)  I am about 90 minutes away from Boston. I don't get there much but would love to meet if I am ever in the neighborhood:)

Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc 

Tending to the fire and doing more cooking is helping me feel more spiritual - I'm feeding my Kitchen Witch side and it feels great!

Samhain/Halloween : It's hard. Honoring the Deads, the Ancestors just bring so many emotions... It's about a month away from Mom's death first anniversary (Nov. 29)... I still haven't been able to visit her grave...  Think I'll try to do some sort of releasing ritual and/or attempt to communicate with her to find some relief.

In the kitchen is where you will find me a lot more this time of the year too.  I love all the stews/soups and bread baking I do this time of the year.  It makes me feel connected since I can't really get out as much once it starts to get cold.

The year of firsts is so difficult:(  (((hugs)))

As for me this morning, I finished painting our guest bathroom:)  It's raining here and a bit chilly but thankfully no snow, yet.  We are supposed to be getting some tonight.  I had something to say and it is gone now:(  I hate that!  I hope everyone is having a good day. 

[Aeress]

The sinus headache, ear pain bug has visited me and decided to take up residence. Thankfully dh was off because I had a dr appt this morning. I canceled the appt and sent dh to the store. i sent the girls up for rest, took a bath and made myself a tuna melt. I feel better after the bath, some tylenol and 2 glasses of emergen C. I think my icky allergies plugged up my sinuses. I feel less achey, which is good but still, accepting that I am sick took some mental twitching. lol

Clay- It always seemed to take me a few months to feel some kind of rhythm, not to mention that fact that you are sick. *hugs* I don't have an infant to care for, and all I want is to curl up in a ball and ignore the world. Thank goodness for netflix. We are taking a day off of school, maybe you should as well?

Val- *hugs* I can't imagine how hard this time of year is for you. Thinking of you!

Max'sfox- sorry for keeping the old name, the new one isn't in my head yet. I am glad you got the property. I am a homesteader in my head but in my realistic brain I know I don't have the energy or inclination (right now....or maybe ever) but having land makes me feel like I could become a farm.

Well dears, time to rest and relax for a bit. Watching Ever After, a fairly cheesy but sweet movie.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali Oh my goodness, $5 Ben 10 toys??!!  My ds is sooooo into Ben 10.

Yes, I know!! It's insane. If I find any more I can pick some up for you! I think they had more there; I am pretty sure. They were Omnitrix's of some sort, two different kinds, and one package that had figurines and a comic book together for like $6.99. Does that sound doable for putting away for Yule for you? I can even, if I have room, bring them with me over Thanksgiving, but I can't promise that. I might have to mail them.

Originally Posted by wombatclay Maia- There are several Goddesses with similar names related to the story/season... Hulda, Hel, Holle, Hloda, Jord.  In the Grimm's story I think they use the name Hulda.  We use Holle in part because it sounds like "Holly" (so a seasonal thing) and because we're coming from the religious side rather than the literary side.  :)  Yay for the score!  What a haul!

I'm only here (after two days of not making it online at all) because I yelled my head off telling the kids to leave me alone.  :(  DH is at work, homeschool is waiting on the table, the baby is crying on my arm as I bounce while typing (her tummy hurts I think), the laundry is waiting in the bathroom, the dishes are on the counter (and I only finished breakfast a few minutes ago, and although I've been up since 6 I've only had mouthfuls of my own meal).  I know this will come together somehow, but I don't see how.  And Dh is going to be less available starting next week.... so I'll have less backup.  Or rather, the backup will be there, just in actual backup mode meaning not an everyday sort of thing. 

Hmmmm.... snow, golden leaves, family, friends, good books, hot tea.... there we go!  Positive notes!  :)

OK...but do you know the name of the actual story, in Grimm? I looked in the contents and there is no "Mother Hulda" or anything to do with Hulda at all. What might the story name be, do you know? Holly. Good, I like it. Might steal We did the shoe thing last year, on 12th night.

Don't worry, Clay; you will find your rhythm. It's alright if you skip school some. And we've ALL yelled at our kids to leave us alone! Laundry is going to be there, dishes will be there. Can you get the oldest to do a dish or two? Get paper plates for awhile? Something?

Good books, hot tea...mmm, that DOES sound good! It's not snowing here yet, nor will it until maybe December, but it looks like rain and I did feel a small chill in the air for like two seconds, this afternoon. One can hope

Originally Posted by Aeress The sinus headache, ear pain bug has visited me and decided to take up residence.

Max'sfox- sorry for keeping the old name, the new one isn't in my head yet.

Watching Ever After, a fairly cheesy but sweet movie.

I hope you feel better! Sometimes I think sickness is the Universe's way of saying "Take a load off, you!" Sometimes it's the only way I *will* rest, and not always even then!

Max'sfox name-- I'm glad you kept "Fox" in the name. Easier to remember and transition!

Ever After-- one of my VERY favorite movies

M is staying sober so far, and he's allowing me to send a one-liner recovery tidbit of the day for his morning email read. And he said my meeting buddy, Jack, can call him Jack is 68yo, an engineer/physics/electricity/math-head sort of guy, RIGHT up M's alley. And sober 18 years. I hope it goes well, I really, really do. Jack is weird but cool and has agreed to call and be M's hopefully weekly sponsory type guy, if it works out. At least, they'll talk, and Jack isn't me, which is the most important.

M's town's meeting schedule is really not conducive at all to M's work schedule M gets up at 3am, works from like 4:30 to 1:30, and all the day meetings are done by that time. Then there aren't any more till 7pm, and M is usually asleep for the night by then. Grrr, eh?

OTOH, *my* program has ramped up quite a bit.

[vydalea]

Aeress- Is Ever After the one where the princess gets chucked out of her animated world and into the city?  If it is, I also love that movie.  So cheesy but so easy for my brain to ingest.  It's a good rainy day, feelin like poopy, lay on the couch movie.

Maia: *STEP AWAY FROM THE ROSS*  just kidding.  for the bargains you're getting, how can you not scoop them up??  oops, was I just totally enabling you?  

Clay/Witchy: I love Wegmans.  I love that I can go online and make a shopping list and it tells me the price and what aisle to find it in.  This way, I can calculate exactly how much I am going to spend and attempt to stay within our budget.  For us here it's the cheapest place to get groceries.  They also take good care of their employees and their communities without being showy about it so I'm happy with them.

I'm also seeing flakes outside of my window.  It's not as easy to embrace the turning of the wheel when it's wet and cold and seemingly early.  It's not REALLY that early, but it feels early.  

redveg: hooray for finishing painting!  what color did you use?  My house is like a rainbow with colors.  

hear the Z waking up from her nap - healing energy to everyone.  

[wombatclay]

I forgot to welcome all the new folks and add my "yay" to FeralFox!  Congrats on the land!

Aeress- hugs!  If it's what I had, the run time was roughly a week with a day of lead up, three days of hard core nasty, and what seems to be my second day of feeling poorly but most certainly over the hump.  I'm thinking I'll feel more or less normal tomorrow, maybe just the sore throat left over... I'm blaming a lot of my headache today on the weather.  Anyway, I hope your cold is gentler and leaves you in good health sooner.  And I hope that all of us sickos havve now had our only cold of the season!  ;)

Speaking of... I got a bill in the mail from the medical center.  Remember waaaaaaay back in April ds got rotavirus and ended up so dehydrated we had to take him to the hospital for an iv?  Well, apparently the med center and the insurance people just finished working things out and the portion not covered by insurance is 656 dollars.  Which is on top of the 50 dollar "co pay" we paid back in April for using the ER (despite having been sent to the ER by our family doctor because our family doc can't do IVs in office).  Oh joy.  And of course they want the bill paid ASAP despite the fact that it took them SEVEN MONTHS to send it to us.  A lot of my relatives are adamant that the US health care system is the best in the world and that any changes to a single payer or safety net style system will lead to ruin, but dude!  That's 700 dollars for a sick 2yo to get a bag of IV fluids and a 3 day dosage pack of anti-nausea pills (generic variety btw).  And that's /after/ the insurance company paid "their share"?  Dear lords, were they charging us by the minute or something?

weather- snow is still falling, and it's sticking.  I got a few "baby's first snow" pics that I'll get online soon.  :)

larger family- took all four kiddos to the thrift store yesterday to get halloween costume parts and this older guy (like, 70 maybe?) kept following us around making comments about how many kids I had.  It's like he was taking some sort of crazy joy in telling me how horrible my life was going to be.  I dunno what his deal was, but I think it added to my general funk.  I brushed him off, but I think deep down I really do worry that the "new normal" just isn't going to happen this time.  Or that the new normal is going to be what we have now... stressed out sick dragon mommy and hyper/hurtful kiddos and mounting debt.  Part of me KNOWS that isn't the case, but it's hard to find that part inside the saggy maternity jeans (too big for fat pants, too small for maternity), sticky wet milk stained shirts (yay overactie letdown and baby spit), crazy two year old antics and 4yo sensory meltdowns and 6yo angst, and non-stop house problems (we're /still/ not technically approved for habitation!).  I told dh I need some pampering this weekend and i think it'll help... we're getting glasses, a hair cut, and I'll attend a workshop on infant sleep with just dd3 and a cup of posh coffee.  Yay!

Then on to Halloween... the kids are all characters from Miyazaki films!  LOL  DD1 is the girl from Castle in the Sky (Sita?) in her pirate outfit (in our case, long sleeved yellow shirt, pink scrub pants poofed out over boots, cardboard belt buckle and Laputa pendant, and a red hair ribbon), then dd2 is Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service (woman's large black top = kiki's dress, broom, bucket with black cat, big red hair ribbon), dd3 is Ponyo from the film Ponyo (little red dress and white leggings) and ds is Soske (sp?) from the same film (outfit, bucket with stuffed Ponyo doll).  DH and I are random spirits from Spirited Away (black and red clothing, cardboard masks painted to match the ferry boat spirits and tied to our arms or, in DH's case, sticking up from his hat).  Pictures will most certainly happen!  lol

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea Aeress- Is Ever After the one where the princess gets chucked out of her animated world and into the city?  If it is, I also love that movie.  So cheesy but so easy for my brain to ingest.  It's a good rainy day, feelin like poopy, lay on the couch movie.

Maia: *STEP AWAY FROM THE ROSS*  just kidding.  for the bargains you're getting, how can you not scoop them up??  oops, was I just totally enabling you?  

Ever After is all human people. It's Drew Barrymore as a Cinderella figure (Danielle) and...oh, what's her name...101 Dalmation Lady...as the Stepmother. It's brilliant.

Yeah, I know, Ross....I am pretty well done with Christmas shopping for awhile, I think. I got overwhelmed

Originally Posted by wombatclay Oh joy.  And of course they want the bill paid ASAP despite the fact that it took them SEVEN MONTHS to send it to us.

we're getting glasses, a hair cut, and I'll attend a workshop on infant sleep with just dd3 and a cup of posh coffee.  Yay!

Then on to Halloween... Pictures will most certainly happen!  lol

M doesn't ever pay hospital bills...he just throws them in the round file. He says "what are they gonna do, garnish my 10x12 room?"

Yay for pampering! You deserve it, hardworkin' mama

I can't wait to see your Halloween pix! DS is, of course, going to be Ben 10. And I will be a Witch, like always. I think M is having a hard evening...it's the anniversary of his father's death and he usually spends it drunk. I am on the phone with him now, and he swears up and down he's not drinking, but he sounds like he has been. Who knows. Sigh.

[wombatclay]

Pictures of our first snow (and kiddos):   

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150349013063621.356922.514118620&type=1&l=cb7f2ebbae

Maia- in college I was /always/ a Biccan.  I'd wear a black bodysuit or bustier type thing, that duct tape and black bag skirt I described, knee high black leather combat boots, and a witch hat with the word "biccan" written on it (or written on something tucked into the hat band).  You know... "wiccan = witch" so "biccan = *****".  A silly joke, but it was a good way to sort out who I wanted to chat with at a party... the people who snarfed their drinks when they read it were probably worth meeting!  LOL

Some day my kiddos are going to find pictures of me from college and then my parental authority is going to be shot.  Good thing I'm not interested in running for an elected office!  Though I might have a chance in certain more liberal districts.  ;)  I looked darn good in leather, got rave reviews at the drag balls, rocked Rocky, and had a blast.  But I wasn't really thinking about the impact some of those kodak moments might have on my parenting.  /giggle/

medical bills- well, they can garnish any social security/state/federal benefits or your paycheck, and it'll whack your credit rating, but yeah... it's not like they can "take back" treatment!  Sort of like education... once it's there, it's there.  Not much they can do about it.

 

[witchygrrl]

Originally Posted by wombatclay 

Pictures of our first snow (and kiddos):   

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150349013063621.356922.514118620&type=1&l=cb7f2ebbae

Maia- in college I was /always/ a Biccan.  I'd wear a black bodysuit or bustier type thing, that duct tape and black bag skirt I described, knee high black leather combat boots, and a witch hat with the word "biccan" written on it (or written on something tucked into the hat band).  You know... "wiccan = witch" so "biccan = *****".  A silly joke, but it was a good way to sort out who I wanted to chat with at a party... the people who snarfed their drinks when they read it were probably worth meeting!  LOL

Some day my kiddos are going to find pictures of me from college and then my parental authority is going to be shot.  Good thing I'm not interested in running for an elected office!  Though I might have a chance in certain more liberal districts.  ;)  I looked darn good in leather, got rave reviews at the drag balls, rocked Rocky, and had a blast.  But I wasn't really thinking about the impact some of those kodak moments might have on my parenting.  /giggle/

medical bills- well, they can garnish any social security/state/federal benefits or your paycheck, and it'll whack your credit rating, but yeah... it's not like they can "take back" treatment!  Sort of like education... once it's there, it's there.  Not much they can do about it.

 

Yeah, DH and I have some similar photos of us laying around of our Rocky days, too. Of course, DH wants to bring DD to Rocky as soon as possible!!!

Can the hospital work out a payment plan for you? I did that when I had a huge hospital bill....$3000 after the insurance paid, for a cat scan (that showed nothing), a night's stay, IV drugs and bad food. usually, there's some sort of income-based system hat they have. if not, you can just make your own:) Send them $5 a month:P

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by wombatclay Some day my kiddos are going to find pictures of me from college and then my parental authority is going to be shot.  Good thing I'm not interested in running for an elected office!  Though I might have a chance in certain more liberal districts.  ;)  I looked darn good in leather, got rave reviews at the drag balls, rocked Rocky, and had a blast.  But I wasn't really thinking about the impact some of those kodak moments might have on my parenting.  /giggle/

That's cute...hey Clay, I think you are on my FB, too...go into my pix and there, somewhere, is a pic of me from when I was 28, with my big hair and black dress and all. A formal portrait. I'm not at all trying to hide who I was, but I may regret turning ds on to Green Day and the Ramones and Evanescence at the tender age of 10...I mean, at least he hates rap BUT, I am as into silence now as I was into noise back then, so I don't know wtf I am getting myself into

Originally Posted by witchygrrl Can the hospital work out a payment plan for you? I did that when I had a huge hospital bill....$3000 after the insurance paid, for a cat scan (that showed nothing), a night's stay, IV drugs and bad food. usually, there's some sort of income-based system hat they have. if not, you can just make your own:) Send them $5 a month:P

You know? This. I remember my mom telling me that people will shut up if you just send them *something*.

M told me this morning that he is happy about the little recovery/thoughts of the day/prayers that I send him. He said he loves them and looks forward to reading them and they do really make him think

[Maiasaura]

Here you go

[vydalea]

clay - love the pics of the snow.  your kids rock.  i hope pampering goes well and you have a minute to take a deep, cleansing breath!  

*SO* glad there was not facebook when I was in college. or high school, for that matter.  *SO* glad you had to wait (even an hour!) to develop your film.  DH and I have also discussed keeping our photos under lock and key until Z is, oh 80.  haha.  

I totally agree with witchy, if you're paying something at least you're making an attempt.  

Maia, how is M overall?  

This morning was amazing - drove Z out to her grandma's.  It was all sunny and autumnal at the bottom of the mountain and snow covered winter scene at the top.  From my step-mom's house you could see the break on the mountain where it changed over.  It reminded me of driving through two different piece of art.  Simply beautiful.

Oh!  Today my copy of "Book of Shadows" arrived!!  hooray!  Can't wait to delve in to that!! 

[wombatclay]

Maia, that picture is amazing!  Please tell me you'll have it enlarged and framed for your new house if you haven't already!  I know there is a lot you have grown through and beyond, but that pic it a work of art... there's a tattoo'd character in a delint book who says something about how her tattoos represent moments of meaning/choice in her life and while she is no longer the person who got those tattoos, and she has no inner need now for more skin art, she would never remove the tatts since they remind her of what she was and where she had been.  Though, um, the character said it much more elegantly and in fewer words.  LOL

med bill- we'll be fine (my mom, for all her baggage, will give us half of all medical expenses if we ask her too... she really wanted me to SAH and since my job was the one with the "good" insurance she offered to cover part of our med bills if I'd SAH).  It's more that I'm annoyed that it took them this long to process the bill and then all of a sudden they need payment immediately?  In fact, it took so long we didn't even realize there WAS more of a bill than what we'd already paid!  This particular hospital has a horrible billing department.  Just terrible.  It's a longer drive, but I think from now on we'll make the longer drive to the hospital where I had Tor and Tiel as long as it's not an "every minute counts" type emergency. (closer crummy hospital is ~25 minutes, further spiffy hospital is ~40 minutes).

weather- our snow is melting!  :)  It's so bright and sunny today too because the light bounces off the snow.  It makes the house feel really bright and open.  And chilly.  It's only in the 40s and we wont have pellets till this weekend sooooo.... brrrrr!  In the end we got 3-4 inches, lower elevations got 1-2, and down in the valleys/on the lake it was just icy rain.  This morning the younger chickens were wandering around confused by the snow.  It was pretty amusing!  Last winter the chickens rarely left their coop but hopefully this winter the younger ones will get the whole flock out for fresh air.

[witchygrrl]

That's a pretty fabulous picture, Maia! Yes, I agree. Please print it up for when you move:)

I'm glad M appreciates all you do for him.

i am feeling pretty bouncy about the Samhain ritual my friend is hosting tonight. her DH is babysitting DD (as it's adults only) which is so sweet! Last year we couldn't enjoy it because we had hired a babysitter we barely knew and we rushed home to them being totally fine (and awake).

I am not looking forward to more snow. We had some last night, which is all gone now.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by vydalea Maia, how is M overall?  

Sweet of you to ask! He's hanging in there. Though he hasn't been to a meeting yet But srsly, his town is so not amenable! I just checked the Saturday schedule, and for a big city they sure don't have much pickins! My town is half the size or less, and we have more than twice the meetings on a Saturday

Originally Posted by wombatclay Maia, that picture is amazing!  Please tell me you'll have it enlarged and framed for your new house if you haven't already!

Actually, I have three from that session professionally framed. I spent beaucoup bucks having those framed-- like I think $300, at the time! So they're acid-free and all that. New house-- it will be an apartment. I used to have them on the wall, but I got so tired of people going "Is that you?? NO way!"-- because yeah, it IS me, and when I looked like that, I thought I would NEVER see the day when I would hear people say stuff like that It bugs me. So it's kind of like, the punk/goth me is this "dirty little secret" I have -- nobody needs to know who I was, kwim? Unless I WANT them to know.

Originally Posted by witchygrrl 

I am not looking forward to more snow. We had some last night, which is all gone now.

Yes, and you're having a nor'easter, I just saw. I wonder how DOK is faring? I hope she's stocked up with plenty of water and soup. And ibuprofen, or whatever.

[DaughterOfKali]

Maia- Cool photo!!  Not sure about the toys.  I think ds is only interested in stuff from Ben 10 Ultimate Alien.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali Maia- Cool photo!!  Not sure about the toys.  I think ds is only interested in stuff from Ben 10 Ultimate Alien.

I will have to go look at them...alright, one is a viewscope Ultimatrix and the other is something with Humungosaur in it and they both say Ultimate Alien on them.

[Wolfcat]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali 

Quick update:  The actual surgery went well but the anesthesiologist was horrible.  My doc was appalled.  I was given too much anesthesia because the anesthesiologist couldn't get my body to relax enough to get me intubated.  She ended up cramming the tube down my throat...causing damage.

I'm having bad whole body pain (muscular).  It feels like I got hit by a car.  I really hurt.  I developed a cough (which could be from intubation) and the coughing gives me the most sharp, severe pain in the ribs/chest.  It's BAD.  I'm on constant vicodin (it's the only way I don't cry out in pain.)

I had to send my sister home because she has a cough.  I may have caught her cough.

I'm feeling sad that my uterus is gone.  It has served me well (gave me my one and only child.)  I get weepy on and off about it.

Ok, that's the condensed version.  Time for more vicodin before bed.

Thanks for all the thoughts!

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali 

Just a quick update because I'm exhausted.

Jennifer/Lioness- Congratulations on your happy news!!

My recovery is slow and painful.  By noon I'm wiped out and end up dozing.  My insides feel twitchy and crampy...almost feels like when a fetus moves around.  It's just weird.

I get queasy a lot.  I get hungry but then can't eat much.  Have to eat multiple mini meals.

I get weepy when I see babies on tv.  I know that I probably wasn't going to have another child but to get that decision taken away hurts.  I have to say goodbye to my heartfelt dream of having a daughter or just any healthy child.

I'm coughing and having bm problems (both extremes) which are all causing stress/pressure on my internal incision.  Which leads to more pain and bleeding.

I'm lonely and hating being single.

It's difficult to think positive (other than being grateful that I'm alive.)

Also, got some bad news in the work department and I'm upset about losing income.

Just sad, tired, and sore.

Sorry to be so negative.  I needed to get all my feelings out and I figure my pagan mama circle was the best venue for doing just that.  Thanks for reading.

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali 

Just a quick update because I'm exhausted.

Jennifer/Lioness- Congratulations on your happy news!!

My recovery is slow and painful.  By noon I'm wiped out and end up dozing.  My insides feel twitchy and crampy...almost feels like when a fetus moves around.  It's just weird.

I get queasy a lot.  I get hungry but then can't eat much.  Have to eat multiple mini meals.

I get weepy when I see babies on tv.  I know that I probably wasn't going to have another child but to get that decision taken away hurts.  I have to say goodbye to my heartfelt dream of having a daughter or just any healthy child.

I'm coughing and having bm problems (both extremes) which are all causing stress/pressure on my internal incision.  Which leads to more pain and bleeding.

I'm lonely and hating being single.

It's difficult to think positive (other than being grateful that I'm alive.)

Also, got some bad news in the work department and I'm upset about losing income.

Just sad, tired, and sore.

Sorry to be so negative.  I needed to get all my feelings out and I figure my pagan mama circle was the best venue for doing just that.  Thanks for reading.

Many healing energies, physical and emotional, and financial. Any time you need to talk, we are here for you.

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

i have been taking a real hard look at my beliefs lately and coming to a good spot about them. everything that i thought was contradictory in me is actually not. it is ok that i dont fit into what everybody thinks a pagan should be and that i dont do all the things that pagans are supposed to do or even believe all the stuff they are supposed to. yk, according to the internet and all the books. lol. i think the uu church was exactly what i needed at this time in my life. i am having the kids dedicated on nov 6. they are all pretty excited. they all love the uu church too, even my oldest, the teen, who doesnt like anything. 

hoping that this finds you all healthy and happy or on the way to becoming so. 

What a wonderful break-through to have, especially at this time of year! I'm a huge fan of personal development, so it gives me warm-fuzzies when someone goes through something like that.

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

pssst i have a secret. dont tell anyone.

Originally Posted by FeralFox 

Hello mamas, I'm back!  This is Tris (formerly MaxsFox) back with a much less confusing name.  I got tired of people calling me by my husband's name all the time.

Things have changed.  Oh, how they've changed here.  I won't get into all of it, but I'll say it's mostly good.

Closing is this Wednesday, and we'll be land owners!  We're taking Badger up with us, and will be camping for a few days so we can get some work done.  We're all very excited.  I'm a little nervous about winter camping with a small child and a camping newb, though.  I'm a pretty experienced winter camper, but it's been a while, and I was always on my own (or with a group of winter-experienced friends).  Hopefully all goes well and we get a lot done.  We'll be coming back just in time for trick-or-treating with the ex.

I'm going to read a few pages back to catch up a bit, but in the meantime I'm sending blessing thoughts out to everyone!

Hey Fox, welcome back! Good to see that you and yours are doing so well!
 

Originally Posted by wombatclay 
Speaking of... I got a bill in the mail from the medical center.  Remember waaaaaaay back in April ds got rotavirus and ended up so dehydrated we had to take him to the hospital for an iv?  Well, apparently the med center and the insurance people just finished working things out and the portion not covered by insurance is 656 dollars.  Which is on top of the 50 dollar "co pay" we paid back in April for using the ER (despite having been sent to the ER by our family doctor because our family doc can't do IVs in office).  Oh joy.  And of course they want the bill paid ASAP despite the fact that it took them SEVEN MONTHS to send it to us.  A lot of my relatives are adamant that the US health care system is the best in the world and that any changes to a single payer or safety net style system will lead to ruin, but dude!  That's 700 dollars for a sick 2yo to get a bag of IV fluids and a 3 day dosage pack of anti-nausea pills (generic variety btw).  And that's /after/ the insurance company paid "their share"?  Dear lords, were they charging us by the minute or something?

Gah! I'm a very political person, and this is one of my "hot" points. The medical system in this country SUCKS unless you are wealthy. It's horrid how much financial pressure is put on people just to get the care that is NECESSARY, nevermind trying to afford all the preventative stuff. Good luck with your bills! Gods know I've BTDT.
 

Originally Posted by Maiasaura 

Here you go

That is... sweet and sexy and edgy and wow!  Very nice!

[CariOfOz]

Hi mamas!!

Originally Posted by _ktg_ 

Cari - missed you doll!  I have a nice cuppa of posh coffee with me, though you are getting ready for Spring right now? How are the boys liking school, how are you doing and are you still at that job?

Ktg I would love to have a posh coffee with you... even in 'spring' .. which is a joke since it was 31C here the other day lol.  My 7yo is loving school, he's flourishing and learning so well (I struggled helping him learn to read, we got nowhere!  but when he went to school he really picked it up wonderfully!  He's churning through the leveled reading books.. he started out with A and is now up to I !!)  My 9yo is NOT doing well.. academically he is on par... but socially he is miserable.  He was diagnosed a few months ago with adhd and a sensory integration disorder, and he has been ostracized and excluded by the other kids at school.   The school did try to help him fit in better, but it was too little too late.  He'll be coming home to learn again soon :)  I'm writing his plan now!  I'm still at 'that' job lol... for the moment.  I'm looking though, and I may be handing in my notice on wednesday evening when I have a 'meeting' with my supervisor and regional manager... depending on what options they put before me.
 

Originally Posted by Aeress 

Lioness- *hugs*  Congratulations!

Samhain- We are going to make fondant skulls, we decorated pumpkins and will set a place at our table for our ancestors. Of course jack o lantern carving and a party at my parents house.

Healing for those in need!

ooooh we want pics of the skulls!    We really aren't doing anything for the sabbat... I can't be bothered this year :(  I have too much job stress, worry over Lucas, and now another situation with y oldest that is .. well not for 'public' boards :(    
 

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

thanks dok! i had just scheduled my tubal. i had gotten to the point where i was sure and made the appt.

LOL  you know what's funny about that?  My #5 was conceived just when we thought we were sure, and hubby had a vasectomy appt!  He cancelled it a week before it was scheduled, and we must have concieved immediately lol. 

I wanted to really read and catch up, but I have a few hours ALL to myself as dh has taken the boys off t a family get together at a cousins house (there's a pool .. all family do's end up there lol)  and I want to do a few things JUST for me ... and I'm not allowing them to be all on the computer lol for a change! 

[Maiasaura]

Here is M's backyard after the freak storm. Holy moly, eh? His car got a tree on it. It's dented but thankfully drivable! Look closely at the neighbor's shed, down at the bottom of the picture! It got crushed, looks like. At least it's just the shed and not the house.

DOK, witchy, Clay, are y'all alright? Anybody lose power? Are you staying warm?

Wolfcat, that photo of me is when I was 28, LOL; I'm turning 52 next month. The photo of me in the profile is much more recent! Heehee. I like it, though. And yes, I still have my Pepto pink drums....if any of y'all are interested, they are for sale No idea how much shipping would be, but probably more than the drums. LOL.