I'm offline for what, two days? and all ya'all go for epic posting records? lol! Autumn really is the season of the pagan parenting thread! :)
No way I'm going to remember everything and everyone, but I'll try.
DoK- I'm so sorry. I wish I lived closer! I had my own "mother support fail" so I know how much it hurts and how deeply it can cut (remember how my mom was going to watch the big kids while I was at the hospital? Well, she showed up but when DH came home to get the kiddos and bring them to meet their sister she left, and she didn't come back! DH had to stay home with them so not only was I alone in the hospy for two days, but DH missed being with Tiel during her first days. When dh called to ask where she was/when she'd be back so he could return to the hospital she told him she didn't have time to watch the kids after all). It seems like no matter how many times my mom lets me down, I can't help but hope the next time will be different. I'm sorry our moms seem to be operating on the same wavelength. Hang in there. Big, huge, sisterly hugs from me to you! I'll light another candle.
Maia- :) Yay for coffee mugs! I have winter solstice mugs but hadn't thought about seasonally shifting mugs. I'm so stealing that idea! Good luck with your yo-yo child. Who was it that suggested putting children in big barrels and leaving them there, deciding on whether or not to let them out once they're in their 20s? Some snarky author I'm sure, but some days it seems like such a good idea. That, or duct tape! Whatever happened to the old tradition of fostering and/or apprenticing? Kiddos do seem to listen better and apply themselves more when the message comes from a beloved aunt/uncle/teacher... anyone /but/ a parent. I agree that kiddos let down their guard with parents who are offering unconditional love (hence tantrums for mama/dada but not for the teacher), and that it is crucial for kids to have that release and security. But I wish there was a similar relesase/security valve for the parents! I hope the good days outweigh the bad this week!
emotions- DH and the three older kids took off for the wedding this morning and I'm a mess. PP hormones are /not/ helping. All three kiddos were crying and strapping them into their carseats while they kept asking for one more hug/kiss was sooooo hard. Plus I hate being alone... I get super jumpy/nervous/freaked out. I think that's one reason I prefer urban areas. I don't mind being on my own, but I like knowing that there are people nearby. Just that background noise/empathic chatter is soothing to me. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm on a staycation spa adventure with Tiel, that the weekend is going to be fun. DH left a whole bunch of "treats" so really, I'm set. Now to convince my emotions! :)
school- Well, we're going to do the waldorf afterschool program for both girls on T/W/TH. DD2 will attend the integrated preschool on Fridays, and dd1 will attend an evening Daisy Scout Troop meeting on Mondays. For now, I'll drive everyone into DH's lab and DH will drive the girls to the afterschool program, picking them up after work. DH will also drop dd2 off at preschool on Fridays. Which means the only real pickup/drop off I'll be doing with all the kiddos is getting dd2 from preschool on Fridays. The preschool is renting space inside the local Catholic school (hence the odd second floor joined suite thing) and they don't have the staff on site to escort children to the main gate so I will need to go and get her personally (they also use the pick up meeting to go over the day, discuss therapy goals, and do that sort of thing). We'll see how it goes... it's just once a week and while ds could raise a stink/distrub classes/fall down the stairs in a tantrum, those can be dealt with as they happen. And if he IS super disruptive then maybe they'll be more open to finding a way to bring Ro to the gate. I don't know, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there (insert bridge over the river kwai whistle tune here lol).
seasonal crafts- we've had wonderful autumnal weather. And overnight lows in the mid 30s. Ack! The tomatoes are totally gone from the farm thanks to those freezes. Ah well! I built a sort of bottle tree in our yard and I think I like it. We used neat sticks/branches from our woods to build a "rustic" rose trellis last year, and I've put the bottles into the trellis. I think we need to drink more wine! LOL Right now we only have 5 or 6 bottles and I think it'll look better with another dozen or so. Once I'm out and about again I'll be checking the thrift store for funky bottles to add too.
broom closet- For those I've just met (heyla! :) ), I grew up in a very strict, observant, Roman Catholic family. Italian Catholic on my dad's side, Irish Catholic on my mom's. We fasted on Wed/Fri, we attended daily mass, we did daily Bible/devotional readings, we said the Rosary (the long version) every day, we visited holy sites and shrines, picketed "godless" establishments, rallied in DC for various church causes, etc. It was a very black and white setting. And for my mom, it still is. I found myself moving away from the conservative/observant traditions in large part because of all those holy sites... I started having amazing, impossible, no way to explain experiences at Marian shrines. Once I was in college and began to really explore the world and the people in it, the snowball picked up speed. I moved from Roman Catholic, to Celtic Rite Catholic, to "Christo-Pagan", to "Reclaiming style Pagan", to "ADF style Pagan", to where I am now (still Pagan and affiliated with Reclaiming and ADF, but more of the kitchen witch/Heathen variety).
While in college I stayed quiet around my parents in regards to a lot of stuff. Not just religion. Once out on my own I had a sort of "don't ask don't tell" policy in place with my parents and employers, but was otherwise out and open with friends, associates who asked, and some relatives (my brother, a few aunts/uncles/cousins). My mom willfully ignored a lot of stuff... I was a dual major in college (anthropology/medieval history) and within each major I focused on the role of religion in society so she was able to "overlook" a lot of stuff by assuming it was school related. And then when I was in grad school my dissertation field work was about women and religion so even though she went a bit crazy and actually stalked me during my field work again she could kind of blame school. I've actually had several point blank conversations with her about how DH and I are Pagan and she still refuses to hear it. Which makes me realize that all the energy I spent trying to hide myself really was wasted... some people just wont see the truth no matter what you do or don't do, and their response (good or bad) really is all about them and has nothing to do with you.
These days I'm totally out with 99% of the world. That remaining 1% are mostly family members who would be hurt by my choices and who really don't need to know (like my 90+ year old grandparents who live in CA and know me/their great grandchildren through pictures and holiday cards... a "merry solstice" card would just confuse them). And while I am open about who/what I am, it's not something most people pick up on right away. My jewelry is subtle, the altars around our house are taken for nature based decore or waldorf nature tables by casual visitors, and I come across as your average librarian/mom of little kids... not a stereotypical "Pagan" (good or bad stereotype, though I wish I could pull off the Practical Magic vibe a bit more... or just have the house! lol)
Ack... baby awakes! Back to breastfeeding and diapers I go. Hugs to all in need, posh coffee/tea and delish treats to all, and may everyone have a moment to breath today, free from worry, stress, and anxiety!