for those whos young toddlers arent functional cosleepers in the family bed....
Our guy was a terrible co sleeper as well--he didn't want to touch us as we all "tried" to sleep and was a total bed hog and woke up every time either of us moved. We tried varied things (crib side carred, twin futon on floor of our room, on floor of his room and finally the crib in his room) and found that he sleeps best in the crib in his own room.
I, myself, would be a terrible cosleeper, as I need my space and could never relax enough to sleep for fear of dropping/rolling over my kid or falling off the bed myself, so we never got into cosleeping. My now 2 year old has a crib in his own room which is directly next to ours (you literally walk out of our door and into his). We leave the doors open, plus I have a monitor. He's always been fine with this arrangement and sleeps through the night. Not sure that helps you, but that's what works for us. It's all really dependent on what you and your child are comfortable with. I hope you find what works best for your family.
My DD was a great cosleeper until about 20 months. We suffered through another 4 months of tossing, turning, kicking, smacking, knees in the back, etc., before we got her a toddler bed and put it in our room. She's still there at 32 mos. It works great. She never tolerated a crib at all--felt like a cage to her, I think. At 16 mos., how about putting the bigger crib mattress on the floor near your bed? That way if your DD rolls out onto the floor, it doesn't really matter, and you can scoop her up to comfort/cuddle w/o getting out of bed.
Just a thought! Hope you find a good solution.
I was not able to cosleep with either of my kids for reasons above (i toss and turn too much disrupting baby, baby was bedhog and makes too much noise, baby easily wakened, kept nursing all_night_long!, etc.)... DD2 is 14 mo and about 1 month ago we moved her into her own room in a crib, until then she was in her own crib in a separated section of our bedroom. we did a minor nightweaning (cut out 1 feeding, so now she goes a 5 or 6 hour stretch) at that time. She sleeps fine, no worse than where she was. it's harder psychologically for me to get up and go to another room, but I like it.
We put GG on her own twin right next to our bed, with bed rails on the far side so she doesn't fall off. She sleeps on the side dh sleeps on, just inches away and it's a bit lower, and he does most of her nighttime parenting. She's still up and down all freakin' night so I haven't wanted her in another room yet. She does better in the twin than with us I think because she doesn't sense as much movement from us and has her own space.
It totally killed me when Aiden slept SOOO good in his arm's reach co-sleeper but NOT good with me at night. We moved him to a crib in our room around 3 months and he loves to sprawl out and just totally relax....he does not sleep well at all with us. No matter how cool it is he gets sweaty with us...and he wakes up ALL the time if he rolls into us. It broke my heart! LOL
Aiden slept on me for nap time in our recliner up until this past month...so for about 11 months he only napped on me...but lately he can fall asleep when his head hits the pillow in his crib and I cover him up with his sesame street fleece. Boooo! It really shocked me he wouldn't want to be in a HUGE king-sized bed with us....but it didn't work for him! So he is in his own room as at 7 months we moved him into his own room adjacent to ours in his crib....we use a monitor and I leave both doors open when we sleep, but often I shut the doors and just use a monitor when I'm up late or cleaning or whatever.
I have DD (18 months) on a crib mattress on the floor snuggled between a Queen mattress (also on the floor) and the wall. If I try to bring her into my bed for comfort, she protests and crawls back to her little space. I sleep on the far side of the mattress, and we both sleep better when I'm further away. But.....DP still sleeps on the couch in the living room. Haven't figured out how to make that part of the equation work just yet. ;)
Our 13 month old was never a good co-sleeper. She'd wake every time we rolled over, snored or sneezed. She slept in the co-sleeper next to the bed until 3 months, then we moved her into a crib in her own room, and she's slept 12 hrs through the night ever since! I have always been a little bummed, but the sleep is worth it.