After talking with a social worker for the last 3 weeks, we were referred to the behavioral counselor for my 8 year old son. I have always known things weren't quite "right" with him but always just tried to deal with it on our own... but after the last few months, we realized that we just aren't dealing with it the way he needs and the older he gets, the less in control we are feeling. Today is his first appointment and I am both nervous and hopeful for some kind of help, resolution, SOMETHING.
A little background on my son... From birth he was always incredibly ahead with all of his gross motor skills. Was rolling over, sitting up, walking, etc before all of the other babies his age... He never showed any signs of anything that I can remember other than just being very quick to grow up.
When he turned 3, my daughter was born. I don't know how much of it was caused by having a baby sibling or if there was something else there but age three was almost impossible for us. I was constantly yelling and screaming (despite my better judgement), I had to bear hold him in the middle of his CONSTANT fits just to get him to settle down enough to speak to him. He threw dangerous, out of control fits where he would not only hurt himself but other people. I was diagnosed with depression during all of this. How much of it was just the inability to cope with all of DS's fits/outbursts, I'm not sure.
In the last 5 years since, things haven't really gotten any better.... they are just different issues all together and the older my daughter gets, the more I realize how he acts/reacts is not normal. He is angry most of the time. He screams, throws himself on the floor, throws/breaks things (both his own and other peoples), he snuck one of my husband's hunting knives outside one day and threatened a child (to his credit, this child threatened him with a metal baseball bat), he threw a chair at school when he was reprimanded, he often shows extreme aggression towards both of the girls (5 and 16). He makes friends easily but cannot keep them because he is constantly yelling/screaming/fighting/calling them names. He shows very little respect to me, his father or his 16 year old sister when we are telling him what to do, etc. He has no problems with calling us names, telling us no or screaming back at us (when we unfortunately lose our cool). Within the last 6 months, when he gets angry he has been telling us that he wishes he was dead, that he hates being alive and that he is going to jump out of the window. The social worker didn't see this as that big of a deal and that it was just something he said that got our attention. I agreed. However, when the counselor called to make an appointment, they believed it made him this a high-risk situation and put in for an immediate appointment.
That being said, my son is also extremely bright. He is gifted in reading and math. His handwriting, however, is atrocious. I don't know how much of that is being left-handed or something else but he CONSTANTLY fights us on writing homework and actually complains of pain while writing. He is also incredibly sweet and sensitive. He can be the most thoughtful, loving child I have ever met and then turn around and be completely cruel. He has minimal issues at school and is actually, what seems to us, a completely different child while at school. He listens, he's respectful and never treats his teacher like us (despite the one chair throwing issue) and she constantly tells us what a great student and child he is. I wish he would act like that at home.
He is also extremely protective of his little sister and constantly worries about her. He also has a lot of fear of being alone. He doesn't like to be on a separate floor of our home than us (but is okay even if it's just his little sister who is with him) and he has problems sleeping on his own and usually ends most nights on the floor in our room.
I am honestly at my wit's end and am hoping SO much that we are doing the right thing and this will be the first step into helping our family heal.... but I am scared to death on what to expect. I have no real experience with any of this and I don't know what's going to happen and where this will go from here. My step-daughter was recently diagnosed with mood disorder, anxiety and depression and was in and out of the psych ward three times (by her mother's admission, not our's) and I am completely terrified of that happening to my son. I watched my step-daughter actually get WORSE in the hospital rather than better. She picked up habits (cutting, saying she heard voices, etc) from other kids in there that simply were not there before she went in. It was, without a doubt, a horrible experience for all involved so needless to say, I am nervous to possibly go through it again.
Anyway, sorry this got so long-winded. I am at my wit's end but so scared. I was just hoping someone could give me some insight on what to expect and what might happen from here.
Thanks in advance.
Edited by Attached2Elijah - 10/3/11 at 9:34am
A little background on my son... From birth he was always incredibly ahead with all of his gross motor skills. Was rolling over, sitting up, walking, etc before all of the other babies his age... He never showed any signs of anything that I can remember other than just being very quick to grow up.
When he turned 3, my daughter was born. I don't know how much of it was caused by having a baby sibling or if there was something else there but age three was almost impossible for us. I was constantly yelling and screaming (despite my better judgement), I had to bear hold him in the middle of his CONSTANT fits just to get him to settle down enough to speak to him. He threw dangerous, out of control fits where he would not only hurt himself but other people. I was diagnosed with depression during all of this. How much of it was just the inability to cope with all of DS's fits/outbursts, I'm not sure.
In the last 5 years since, things haven't really gotten any better.... they are just different issues all together and the older my daughter gets, the more I realize how he acts/reacts is not normal. He is angry most of the time. He screams, throws himself on the floor, throws/breaks things (both his own and other peoples), he snuck one of my husband's hunting knives outside one day and threatened a child (to his credit, this child threatened him with a metal baseball bat), he threw a chair at school when he was reprimanded, he often shows extreme aggression towards both of the girls (5 and 16). He makes friends easily but cannot keep them because he is constantly yelling/screaming/fighting/calling them names. He shows very little respect to me, his father or his 16 year old sister when we are telling him what to do, etc. He has no problems with calling us names, telling us no or screaming back at us (when we unfortunately lose our cool). Within the last 6 months, when he gets angry he has been telling us that he wishes he was dead, that he hates being alive and that he is going to jump out of the window. The social worker didn't see this as that big of a deal and that it was just something he said that got our attention. I agreed. However, when the counselor called to make an appointment, they believed it made him this a high-risk situation and put in for an immediate appointment.
That being said, my son is also extremely bright. He is gifted in reading and math. His handwriting, however, is atrocious. I don't know how much of that is being left-handed or something else but he CONSTANTLY fights us on writing homework and actually complains of pain while writing. He is also incredibly sweet and sensitive. He can be the most thoughtful, loving child I have ever met and then turn around and be completely cruel. He has minimal issues at school and is actually, what seems to us, a completely different child while at school. He listens, he's respectful and never treats his teacher like us (despite the one chair throwing issue) and she constantly tells us what a great student and child he is. I wish he would act like that at home.
He is also extremely protective of his little sister and constantly worries about her. He also has a lot of fear of being alone. He doesn't like to be on a separate floor of our home than us (but is okay even if it's just his little sister who is with him) and he has problems sleeping on his own and usually ends most nights on the floor in our room.I am honestly at my wit's end and am hoping SO much that we are doing the right thing and this will be the first step into helping our family heal.... but I am scared to death on what to expect. I have no real experience with any of this and I don't know what's going to happen and where this will go from here. My step-daughter was recently diagnosed with mood disorder, anxiety and depression and was in and out of the psych ward three times (by her mother's admission, not our's) and I am completely terrified of that happening to my son. I watched my step-daughter actually get WORSE in the hospital rather than better. She picked up habits (cutting, saying she heard voices, etc) from other kids in there that simply were not there before she went in. It was, without a doubt, a horrible experience for all involved so needless to say, I am nervous to possibly go through it again.
Anyway, sorry this got so long-winded. I am at my wit's end but so scared. I was just hoping someone could give me some insight on what to expect and what might happen from here.
Thanks in advance.
Edited by Attached2Elijah - 10/3/11 at 9:34am
