OCTOBER 2011 INFERTILITY THREAD!!! - Page 2

[renavoo]

Hi ladies,

TGIF! this has been a tough week- so busy and i ended up working late a lot of the days. I'm so ready for the weekend!!

Shesaidboom, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! It's so wonderful when all the family gets together and you all get to catch up. Are you cooking for everyone or are you guys sharing that duty? Are you hosting? That's just so much stress.

As for the sperm analysis, ugh to having to bring it to the clinic during rush hour. I always worry about carrying the sample and keeping it warm. I always stick it into my shirt. It's ok when it's the winter because a jacket will cover things but when it's a little warm, the lumps look a little weird. haha. I love that you and DH have been a lot closer ;o) I hope that you are pregnant, by the way. I'm also on the ivf thread and on the thread, a poster, Tenzin, was preparing for ivf and even took suppression therapy only to find out that she's now pregnant. So anything can happen and I'm hoping for that for you!!!

Brichole, NOOOO to the delay in the surgery!! That is pretty awful and what a long wait. can you go somewhere else? Or are you tied to this physician? i can't believe that there is such a delay and that you will end up having to do the surgery around the time of your birthday. Ugh, that will definitely NOT be a celebratory birthday, even though i know you will be happy to get it done! I'm happy that things are going much better between you and DH. it's wonderful that he's trying to make it better for you two so you should definitely enjoy the ride. He has a lot of making up to do!! Enjoy it!

Gozal, how is everything where you are?  I'm so with you about ignoring all symptoms. I'm determined to do that this time around and start POAS around 2 days prior to the beta test. We'll see how that goes. haha

Deborah, yah to not having to do that expensive test!! So, do you only have to do that one test or are there others you have to do? And is it covered or do you have to pay for all of it out of pocket. By the way, I giggle every time you update us on the puppy chasing the kitty. hehehe

AFM, Test results came back and I'm cleared to start taking progesterone on Sunday and to get the transfer on Friday. I will find out on Wed when the actual transfer is on Friday. My lining was at 11-13mm, depending on where you look so I think I am ultra responsive to estrogen suppositories! I can't believe there is just a week left before the transfer. By this time next week, I'll be getting lots of bed rest!

Hope everyone else is good! Big hugs and hope the weekend is great (although I'll check in periodically this weekend!)

[brichole1214]

Renavoo:  So excited that you are doing good!!!! I hope that your transfer next week goes well!!! Sending out lots of sticky thoughts to you!!!

Shesaidboom: I second what Renavoo said!!!! It would be WONDERFUL if you are pregnant now! :)

AFM: Okay, i had 2 days of pink spotting around CD13 and 14 (which i though hmmmm...could this be ovulation spotting?)  I didn't temp this month so i have no idea. I do know that I feel like my temp is up because i haven't needed covers much at night because i'm so warm...and it's kinda cool here in alabama at night right now.  ANYWAYS, i went to check my cervix yesterday and i couldn't even hardly touch it!!! I had to REACH for it...and once i did it was closed tight.  SOOOOOO i'm thinking that i did ovulate during those two days...I have mixed feelings about this! 1) because we haven't been being careful 2) because my sex drive has been so crazy we've been doing it like EVERYDAY for the past week or so!!!! And 3) if i get pregnant now my surgery will be off for another year!!!!   I hate having mixed feelings about everything!  At least I still have 2 tests left and I will be using them soon!  I would say i'm probably 3-4 dpo from my symptoms and where i am with my cervix...so we'll see.  My cervix hasn't sat this high inside me in a LONG time lol...So hey Renavoo:  we wouldn't be very far off from each other if i do end up pregnant this month....so i'm sending you a LOT of vibes!!! It would be nice to be able to see you post a BFP soon....and with the way you talked about how the doctor felt about your frozen embies i have high high hopes for you this month!!!!

[deborahbgkelly]

DH and I only have to do fragile X as far as we know. I'm waiting to hear back about SMA. Since people like puppy and kitty updates, here goes. This was painful for me, but might be funny for you all. Leo (the cat) was curled up under the blanket, kind of in my lap (as much as anyone has a lap when they are lying down). Peaches (the dog) moved around and hovered over where the kitty was- she then just curled right back up against me. Kitty got startled and scratched me and then went right back to where he had been curled up!

[shesaidboom]

renavoo - thanks! Yes, I'm hosting and cooking for everyone. I love cooking so it'll be fun, but a lot of work. I know what you mean about carrying around the sperm sample. Last time I carried it in my arm pit (that's what they told me to do over the phone), but I think I'll look kind of weird going on the subway with a bulge in my armpit...and what if I drop it??

I'm thinking good thoughts for you for the transfer! Hurray for being responsive to the estrogen!

brichole - aren't mixed feelings the worst? I'm hoping you're happy either way things go.

deborah - that's so funny about your kitty and puppy! Aren't cats and dogs hilarious together? I have a 4 year old dog and a 1 yr old cat right now and they love playing together. They even wrestle.

AFM - well, I was at the drug store today so I broke down and bought a test. A pack of those ridiculously expensive digital tests so I wouldn't be questioning whether my eyes were playing tricks on me or if an actual line was there. The first one gave me a book, which means it failed. The second - big fat Neg. I didn't think I would be so upset this time, but it still hurts a lot to see that negative, especially when my breasts are so swollen and sore I can't fit into my bra, I'm nauseous to the point of throwing up, I'm bloated, and you know, all those other little signs that could or couldn't be. Why do we have to go through this ladies? It's just not fair.

[renavoo]

Brichole, i love that we are cycle buddies even though i know getting pregnant may not be the best right now. i know you have mixed feelings but would you be ecsttic if you did get pregnant?

Deborah, i hope you werent too hurt! Haha animals don't realize how much they can hurt us! And we still love them so much becauae we know they don't intend to hurt us...and they are just so darned cute!

Shesaidboom, i am so sorry. I dont think you are completely out but it is always a sad time to get a BFN. What day are you right now? I am still hoping you get your BFP to kick off the october thread!!

[brichole1214]

Renavoo: OF COURSE i would be ecstatic!!! I have a feeling that we will get pregnant when I least expect it lol so who knows. I went to check my cervix again this morning and I couldn't even reach it!!! Like LITTERALLY could not find it so it's sitting REALLY high today! I did have some spotting this morning but i think it was because me and DH DTD last night after Alabama won the football game lol. 

I think that not trying but not preventing might be something we start after this cycle if i'm not.  I mean if I have to delay my surgery again it will be okay.  It would probably be for the best anyways if i do really want another baby.  I was shocked by my mom of Friday because she told me to go ahead and just have another baby and not to worry about my surgery.  I almost fell out in the floor lol.  I know DH SAYS that he thinks he's completely done with having babies but he wouldn't keep DTD with me with out any kind of protection if he didn't want any more kids.  MEN!!! LOL.

I hope that everyone has a great week! I know that I have so much to do over the next several weeks! I have to work OT on the 18th, which i'm not use to working on my off days lately so it will be different.  Then on the 25th I have a field trip with my oldest DD to Lyon Farms to get a pumpkin!  I think we are going to have so much fun! i'm going to have my grandmother keep Emma so that I don't have to worry about keeping up with BOTH of the girls among all the other kids who will be there.  It will be kinda weird though because DD wants her step-mom to come too, so we'll see how that goes!  Well, i'm going to start getting my reports knocked out so that I can get out of here on time today! It's my uncle's 51st birthday and we are doing a birthday party for him this afternoon.  Talk to everyone soon, and i'll check in after while to see how things are going!

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks everyone. Doppler ultrasound and trial embryo transfer tomorrow! We have had a breakthrough in cat/dog relations in the Kelly household. I have attached a picture!

[monkeyscience]

How cute, deborah!!! Hope all goes well with your procedures!

I am reading along, just not replying much. So excited your transfer is so close, renavoo!

shesaidboom - So sorry about the negative test. :( Will they at least give you your money back for the one that malfunctioned? Hope your Thanksgiving has been good!

cbaa - Where are you??? Have you had your beta yet??

[shesaidboom]

renavoo - I'm CD 29 right now. AF started on Sept.10 and ended on the 18th. There still could be a chance. I know testing before AF should begin isnt' as accurate, but since I don't have AF regularily I have no idea when that would be. I think I'm going to wait until our appointment on the 25th to find out. I have to do another blood test the day before so it would definitely show by then. I really would like that BFP, but I know we all do!

deborah - oh my gosh that is the cutest picture!! So glad they are getting closer.

monkey - I could probably get refunded, but I'd have to call the company and go through a long annoying process that almost seems not worth. Maybe I should try anyway since they are so expensive. I think I need to just order some of those cheapy packages of strips, but I haven't found a company that will ship them to Canada yet.

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks all!

[renavoo]

Brichole, ah the minds of men...and they say women are confusing!!!

Monkey, how is everything going? We miss you!!

Shesaidboom, my fingers are crossed for you. Do you temp? When I used to do things more naturally (my gosh that seems so long ago!) I would temp to give me an idea of when I ovulated and then if my temp dropped, I'd be prepared for the BFN. It's screwed up a bit since i'm using all these drugs so i no longer temp but i used to love the ritualistic process...and it made me feel like i was actually doing SOMETHING!!

Deborah, I laughed when I saw that picture. Thank you for brightening up the day! I can't wait to follow you through your process. It'll definitely fly and I am hopefully for a big BFP in November from you!

[gozal]

shesaidboom - I am just so sorry. It hurts so much to see that BFN, I know. Sending you hugs.

Deborah, that is so exciting! Wait, what is a trial transfer? Did I miss you explaining it? It sounds super exciting to me. Your cat/dog bliss shot is adorable!

Monkey, cbaa - I need updates!! Updates about cute pets, the awesome thing you made for dinner, etc., are also perfectly acceptable. Just to say hi. :)

Oh, Brichole, sometimes I think they think with their other brain, if you know what I mean. And in your case, that's not a bad thing at all! I know you've got a lot going on but I am rooting for your BFP!

Renavoo, I bet you are all progesteroned up by now! So exciting! Fingers crossed for Wednesday. It would be great to have the transfer on Fri. and have DH at home with you all weekend while you are resting, right?

AFM, well, I am having a weird (but not bad weird) cycle, it seems. I realized I didn't have all that many opks left so I started testing on cd10: faint line, definitely neg. The next morning was a blaring positive, which I was totally convinced was a faulty test, because usually I fade in. CM signs were there but I often have fertile CM while gearing up to o so I didn't think much of it. So I head off to my u/s check that same morning (cd11), and there it was, a huge 24.0mm follicle ready to go. That is early for me, but the RE thinks it's totally fine. My lining was at 10.4, so that's good. No hCG trigger for me this time. And I am almost certain I ovulated late the night of cd11, judging from the pain...ouch, this one hurt (not terribly, I've had ovulation pain like that before, but it was memorable). Luckily we BD late on cd10 just for kicks...never would have guessed it would actually be well timed. On the morning of cd12 I had a minor temp rise and this morning, cd13, it was 97.97. So, a slow rise for me. I'm feeling both hopeful and excited because the last cycle I got pg was very similar...early o (cd10) and slow rise. But, that pg was nonviable. I know it could have just been that egg, and not the cirumstances, but I just don't know what to think. I'm supposed to start progesterone on Tuesday and have a progesterone check later in the week, which I can't figure out either. If you supplement progesterone, won't your levels be artificially high? And will that serve any kind of diagnostic purpose? Because I want to know if my progesterone is still running low. Maybe I'll call the doctor's office tomorrow...good thing the nurses love me. (It's mutual; I love them back. These are the gals at my regular office.)

[deborahbgkelly]

A trial transfer as far as I can tell is just to make sure my body would accept a transfer. I'm not real sure. They just told me to be there. This is not the same doctor, but seems to have a good explanation: "The trial embryo transfer is much like a PAP smear or intra-uterine insemination. Dr. Donahue passes a small catheter, much like the one that will eventually have embryos in it, into the cervix and injects a small amount of saline into the uterine cavity. Thus, we know if there would be a problem with the eventual transfer (i.e. scar tissue, stenosis of the cervix) or uterine cavity defects that might hurt implantation (i.e. scar tissue, polyps, myomas). Our goal is to have the eventual embryo transfer go quickly and smoothly. Dr. Donahue will sit down with the patients and review the protocol with the patients and give them their prescriptions. Again, they will have a chance to ask questions and the reasoning behind the protocol will be explained." So, doggy cornered kitty last night before I got home (my DH was here), but apparently didn't know what to do with him (thank goodness). I don't know if that negates the breakthrough or not. I suppose one chase in a 24 hour period is an improvement. When we first got the dog she chased the cat every time she saw him.

[deborahbgkelly]

She seems to do better in the morning. She looked at kitty, but didn't go after him just now.

[monkeyscience]

gozal - GL with this cycle!!

brichole - Glad you have some fun planned!

deborah - Here's hoping the decrease in hostilities lasts!

Sorry I haven't been much for updating. I haven't had much to say. I continue to have a slight cough, as well as issues with hearing/tasting/smelling, but I'm wondering if it's allergies at this point. Feel more or less fine, really. dh feels like garbage, though, which stinks.

The rest is copied from BSLs, since I didn't feel like rehashing it twice. It's rather pessimistic, so feel free to skip if you like:

I am theoretically 4 DPO. Yes, you heard it right - it seems my body may have ovulated twice in two months. Honestly, though, with the sickness and everything, I still can't really bring myself to believe it. I thought for sure my temp would be down again today. It wasn't, but I didn't sleep well, so I don't trust it. It's higher by 2/10ths than my highest not-sleeping-well temp, but I still don't believe it. And even if I did O, I can't really bring myself to believe I could be pregnant. We DTD 1 day before O and 1 day after, plus 3 and 4 days before O, but I just don't have a lot of faith in my body right now. Getting pregnant is something that happens to other people. Plus I am just afraid to hope. I'm afraid to be devastated like I was last time, when I was so sure it was our time. I'm also upset because I was looking at FF statistics on when people get BFPs, and they say only 10% of people get a BFP at 10 DPO. The problem is, I'm pretty sure I only have a 10-day LP. (FF thinks it's 12, but I disagree). So if I don't get a BFP by 10 DPO, that basically means I'm out of the running. I thought TCOYF said that a 10-day LP is enough for a pregnancy to implant, but now I'm worried. I have progesterone suppositories from my medicated cycle that I didn't use, and I'm wondering if I should use them now. But I only have enough refills to get me through 3 weeks, so then I'd have to find someone to prescribe them to me or I'd probably lose the pregnancy (if there even was a pregnancy) by stopping them. So, contrary to expectations, having (maybe) O'd has actually made me feel worse, not better. I wish I could be at peace with just not charting, and then I wouldn't have to worry about stuff like this. But if I didn't temp, I'd just think I was pregnant every 3 days and waste money testing.

On the good-ish news front, dh just called to say that we're actually going to be staying in Houston (home) for 2 weeks longer than we thought. So that's 2 weeks I don't have to spend living in a hotel and wondering what to do with myself. And 2 more weeks to potentially see doctors, which got put off because of me being sick. I still want my thyroid checked. Now, of course, I kind of want to see what happens with the TWW (not that it's really 2 weeks for me) before I go in to a doctor. ARRRRGHHH.

Oh, and since I don't know if it's linked here: Chart link

[toothfairy2be]

Hi everyone, just a quick update. My beta was negative, which of course I knew b/c I tested the day before & then stopped progesterone, AF started before the call came through. I read everyone's updates & I'll be thinking of you. I'm going to take a break for a bit, we are going to Vegas in 2weeks. Hoping for a good month, it hit home monkey when you said 'pregnancy happens to other people' even Facebook is depressing... I got the 5am call to babysit while my cousin had #2, a friend due w/#2 & another cousin due this week... Cousin due Feb & one with #2 April, Sister due with #2 in June... we just hit the year mark TTC so I'm just staying afloat. I appreciate the thoughts, I'll try to keep lurking & I promise I'm cheering you all on,deborah, gozal, shesaidboom, renavoo. XOXO

[catheleni]

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Edited by catheleni - 1/12/12 at 7:19pm

[gozal]

Monkey, you really put into words the feeling I've been sitting with lately - pregnancy is something that happens to other people. Having little faith in your body. Being afraid to hope and yet prone to thinking that you're potentially pg. Yep. For the most part, I manage to stay calm and positive. I really put my all into enjoying the present; my days include a great deal of joy and contentment...but there is a part of me that is so weighted down that sometimes it feels like I can barely breathe. I think the full impact of these two+ years has yet to fully hit me; that I have yet to process it and I won't be able to unless we either have the family size we want, or come to accept that it's not possible. So yeah. I hear you. I wish I had something more helpful to say...but I truly am thinking of you. All of you guys.

cbaa, I'm so, so, very sorry. I know how hopeful you were about this cycle. Please take good care of yourself. I hope your time away is restful and reinvigorating. (Oxymorons? Maybe I mean that sequentially!)

Catheleni, Yes it is, this journey, both of those things. I'm so sorry you have to be here, but I'm happy you will be able to get the support of all the wonderful women on this thread. We are actually waiting to hear back from a breed rescue organization about a dog we applied for - fingers crossed! Hoping you get lots of answers in the coming month. Answers (and the getting of them) can be intimidating, but I find that it's better to have them than not.

[deborahbgkelly]

So, apparently my doppler ultrasound showed elevated numbers. Something about the arteries. I am really frustrated with the nurse assigned to my case who keeps implying I'm purposely not following directions. She said, I want to make sure, "as we instructed you, that you avoided drinking coffee and soda." I did, although I forgot caffeine is in chocolate. It still annoys me because it is incredibly disrespectful. This is not the first time I've felt that she was a bit cold and didn't have the greatest respect. Infertility is hard enough without those kinds of experiences. In other words, her bedside manner is pretty crappy. I don't know if I can request another nurse or not. If I can't, anybody have any advice on how to approach it with her?

[deborahbgkelly]

I realize it may sound like a normal question when it is typed, but if you heard the tone of voice (which I obviously can't portray here), you might agree with me.