I'm a bit embarrassed to be admitting these feelings as I know they make me a bad person, but I really hate feeling the way I do and hope that maybe my peeps have some insight.
Let me start by saying that I have a great relationship with my parents and DH's family is also wonderful. His parents are the most understanding, considerate, and kind people you can imagine. Never have a bad thing to say about anyone and they are very thoughtful.
Here's the thing, I am really possessive of the baby and have issues sharing him. I don't have any issues with friends or siblings holding the baby. I mean I (or DH) has to be right there, but it's no biggie. I do however have issues with the parents holding/taking/caring for him. My mom just moved into town from out of state so she sees the baby the most often. DH's family has only seen him once when he was 2 wks and they came our for 4 days. Anyway, I think what I have issue with is I have an irrational feeling like they are trying to take ownership or something. That's not the right word, but I'm not sure how to explain it. I feel like I'm fine if they want to hold him and talk to him and interact with him, but more than that and I have issues and I hate that I feel that way. Like the other day my mom was holding him and when he started to fuss, she got up and took him to the other room. I told her I would take him and he needed to eat and she just kept trying to have him. I finally joked to bring my baby back and she told me to "knock it off". When we were at an outing, I turned my back for a second and she had taken the stroller and was way ahead of us. Neither of these things is a big deal. It's not a trust thing. I know nobody will hurt him and everyone just loves him, but I have this overwhelming feeling of "he's mine" and anything that challenges that (real or imagined) is bothering me. We are going to DH's family for Thanksgiving and I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I want DH to be able to share the baby with his siblings (who haven't seen him yet) and show him Chicago and see all the Christmas decos and stuff in the city. I'm dreading having to pass the baby around.
I think part of it is everything is so special to me. All his firsts...the first book he is read, the first time he touches grass, the first time he goes sees a Christmas tree, his first birthday party, etc. I want to introduce all those things to him. I know I'm being silly. Here's how lame I am: DH's family has a reunion in Vermont every year. It's on a lake and is very nice. We missed this year since the baby was born a week later. :) Anyway, I'm already anticipating that his parents will want to take the baby down to the lake or will throw a little birthday party since it's within 2 wks of his b-day. I don't want them to. How lame am I? I want to throw his first little b-day party.
I honestly feel like a jackass for feeling this way, but I can't help it. I honestly have tried to figure it out and work through it because it makes me feel like such a bad person. The thing is too that his family is so great so it's not like I have justification for feeling this way. On the other hand, I want Elliott to have a close relationship with all his grandparents and family in general. I feel like this feeling will subside as he is older. I can't imagine feeling this way with my 7 year old. :) It really comes down to them feeling like he is theirs. Not that they think he's not mine. I'm this close to deleting this post as I feel like an idiot...
His parents are kind of aggressive in their attempts to spend time with us which I know sets me off. Sometimes it's even too much for DH. They just love us and want to see us a lot (even before the baby) and will push really hard to get us there or for them to come here. Then when they are here, it's a nonstop intense visit which requires rest after they leave. :) I think that's part of it too. We had not planned on traveling for the holidays, but they pushed super hard for us to come for Thanksgiving and wouldn't let it go. We finally decided to go, but part of me didn't want to just because I didn't want them to be rewarded for hounding us about it. Again, it's just because they love us and want to see us, and I know I should just be thankful that Elliott has so many people who love him and want to spend time with him.
What's wrong with me?
Thanks for reading my embarrassing novel.