That's right! YOUR state, YOUR town, YOUR community, and even, if your daughter or perhaps you yourself are sufficiently young, attractive, intelligent, and well-raised, maybe even YOUR FAMILY TOO can now have this unique 45yo paternal package for their very own!
But wait, there's more! Highly sought after by both private connoisseurs and public industries seeking the best of the best, this one-of-a-kind powerhouse of integrity, insight, and indomitability is over 67 inches tall, weighs ~230 pounds, and has been repeatedly rated at genius-level intelligence. Acksiom's material assets of ~600K USD are currently locked in place for another 30 months minimum, but they will be removed to Acksiom's new home as soon as possible -- in short, seller is highly motivated!
Due disclosure: before final market presentation, Acksiom's weight, musculature, and health will be significantly improved. Many years of not just neglect but outright abuse by previous operators have somewhat degraded the appearance and functioning of this diamond-in-the-rough, but the damage is almost entirely cosmetic and is already under repair (nonsurgically restoring; down ~40 pounds and ~10 body fat % points since 7/10). Please also note that reproductive family use will first require the actual repeated exertion by Acksiom of sufficient patriarchal status and authority in the wider community and considerable historical documentation of its existing members having previously gotten the backs of fathers in family court, as due to national safety regulations regarding WMDs, Acksiom is not allowed to reproduce under conditions any less healthy, supportive, and sane.
Acksiomatic Products welcomes all inquiries for further details. We understand that this is a once-in-a-lifetime purchase, and that sufficient consumer confidence on both sides is a must -- we respect customer concerns about "Buyer's Remorse" because we share them! Now, let's go to the audience and find out what they want to know -- as they say on Reddit, "Ask Me Anything!"