I'm not entirely clear on the hospital rules yet, but, since DS2 was born a new hospital was built in my area (in replacement of the one I gave birth in, I have the same midwives but the hospital management is different) and it seems they are way more strict on all levels...including who and how many can attend a birth....with my first 2 anyone came in and out as they pleased (with my permission of course) but I didn't have it fully planned ahead of time and I think at one point I had at least 5 people in the room.
I have really long labors so I want lots of people to have the option of being in the room...the thing is, I think there is a max of 5 at a time and I also need someone to do childcare at my home...and it kind of seems unfair for one person to be singled out to miss the birth - but I have heard at least that I have to have the names of my birth attendents written in advance...
Here is my list of prospective attendents...
1) DH (obvious reasons haha)
2) Mom (already invited her, and she has a background as a doula/birth assistant - plus she is my mom haha)
3) Dad (he is absolutely amazing with his calming voice during labor - I think I *need* him from transition on lol...really, I can't think of anyone else that would help me more during that dificult part of birth!)
Then the ones I can't decide between...
4) 25yo sister (she came to my first 2 births and I am sure is expecting to come to this one...also I think she pretty well knows how to support me now)
5) 18yo sister (she takes great pics...I believe she was at DS1's birth and then out of town for DS2's birth)
6) 16yo sister (I don't have a particular reason to or not to choose her - but I feel kinda bad if I don't)
7) Brother's 21yo girlfriend (haha kinda weird, I know, but, she is a good friend and is really down to earth and "just do it" (the kind of person I need), and I think she might actually by a good person to have there...I don't think I would choose her over a sister though if it came to that)
8) My best friend (probably she will not even be in town, but, if baby is born late she might be...and she is like a sister to me and I think she would be devistated if I didn't invite her and she was in town - plus she can get me to do anything lol)
So yeah....big long list....the only ones confirmed to come are DH and Mom, but, Dad is a MUST...I just don't know how to pick from the rest if I have to!! I guess I am probably one of the very few that is struggling with how to limit when I want everyone...I tend to hear of people not wanting many people...I just loved having tons of people around during my other births (to be honest I am very much to myself during birth, but, it always seems like the right person steps in at the right time...plus the more people who are there to help my change positions etc was helpful because I get SOOOOO tired (intense labor for over 18 hours each time, after a couple days of regular contractions that I could not sleep through at home...I am expecting this one to be the same).
So how did you come up with your labor partners? If the decision was dificult, what impacted your decision?