Moms of older babies (esp. non-co-sleepers): when did things settle down, sleep-wise?

[Blanca78]

Just looking for some context here. My DD is five and a half months old and not a bad sleeper by any means--most nights she will give a 6-7 hour stretch before waking to nurse. However, she is very inconsistent with both nap lengths and how easily she'll settle at night. Some nights she wakes three or four times before she finally does the long stretch. Other nights she goes down at 7:30 and sleeps a few hours before waking.

I guess I'm just wondering, when did things calm down and your DC start sleeping more solidly/predictably at night? Not necessarily that fabled 10-12 hour stretch, but, say, one waking per night? 10 months seems to be an age I hear a lot.

I can function as is and ride this out, but since this is my first baby I guess I'd like some sense of when I might expect her to be a bit more predictable at night. It's hard to relax when I never know how often she'll be waking up--often she wakes up just as I'm starting to settle into sleep.

p.s. I nurse her to sleep.

p.p.s. One reason I ask is I feel there is so much cultural pressure to sleep-train. When I'm sleep deprived and busy myself it's hard not to feel myself caving to some of that pressure. I guess I'd like a sense of how the ride-it-out approach worked for others.

[phaedra13]

All babies are different, so there's absolutely no way my child can predict what your child will do, but here's how it went with my now-20-month-old. He probably woke 2-3 times a night to nurse until he was about 5 or 6 months old. After that, he would sort of go through phases where he'd sleep for 2-3 hour stretches for a few weeks and then wake every hour or so for another few weeks. The bad news was that the waking-every-hour weeks made me feel like I was LITERALLY going to lose my mind. The good news is, the waking every 2-3 hour weeks seemed lovely and I wasn't overly tired.

I should note that when I say "waking" I mean he would stir and nurse basically in his sleep. I learned how to sleep through his nursing after he was a couple of months old, so I wasn't awake very much.

He NEVER slept more than a 4 hour stretch until he was over a year old. I mean, I think he did maybe two times ever.

When he was about 14 months old, we started letting him go to sleep with his dad instead of me nursing him to sleep. And then my husband would be the one that would go to him instead of me during the night (we also moved him into the bed next to ours at this time - two mattresses on the floor). This is what finally got him sleeping longer stretches. After a few weeks of adjustment, he started basically sleeping "through the night" (at least it feels like it to us). He typically wakes one time during the night and needs one of us to just lay next to him until he falls back into a deep sleep, then we can move again. He nightweaned at this time, too.

I'm not gonna lie. It was hell and I'm not looking forward to doing it again when baby #2 arrives. But it's how it worked for us. I just couldn't bear to let him cry it out and I honestly doubt it would have worked anyway, given his disposition.

[~Adorkable~]

my 9.5 m twins seem to up more now then ever, boy i hope 10 month brings something new, will be watching this thread for advice

[Blanca78]

Hi Phaedra,

Thanks for the info. I know no one else's baby can predict what mine will do, but it still helps to get some "data points" for comparison!

Adorkable--hmmm, hope they settle down soon, or at least let you get some rest!