I guess I didn't think it would happen to me :( - Page 2
I'm not religious, so I don't attend church regularly, however a couple years ago I went to a funeral at a Catholic church. I had my 3 month old baby with me and, unsure of the protocol, I asked the guy who let us in (we arrived a bit early). He told me to feel free to feed my daughter anywhere I wanted. Also said something along the lines of seeing me nursing my child would only please God.
I didn't read what everyone else wrote, to be honest. I just have to say that I think you wrote a nice letter which was not threatening and his response to you is completely inappropriate. Switch churches. You need to go somewhere where you will not be exiled... even if to the nursery. I've seen this before... he is calling you unChristian for being unwilling to see HIS point, but he in no way acknowledges yours... tells you to be "good" like his wonderful daughter. AGH!
Also would like to comment that I too have had no problems at the Catholic Church I attend... I do cover with a blanket, but people actually smile at me, women behind me have helped hold the blanket when I'm struggling and I also know women who nurse completely without blankets (still discreetly, I can't manage this) and they have not been given a hard time to my knowledge.
Totally. I told my Husband about this when he got home yesterday and he said "where does she live?"
And OP, you will find another children's room/pastor? that you enjoy.
Edited by goldenwillow - 10/7/11 at 9:17pm
Your pastor is failing in his responsibilities as a shepherd to the congregation if he'd rather have you go out than be spiritually fed by hearing the sermons. And it doesn't sound very Christian for people to be making complaints behind your back, instead of talking to you directly in private. Probably it's better in the long run for you to find a healthier church. But maybe you have an opportunity to challenge your church to grow...the older generation is not always as right as it thinks it is. Why is sitting in the sanctuary the only way to receive the sermon message? How could this conflict be better handled?
Less seriously, he didn't say that you couldn't bottlefeed in the sanctuary. I'd be sorely tempted to buy the biggest bottle that I could find, fill it with cow's milk, and use it as a shield to breastfeed behind as usual.
I don't get it, I just can't imagine that in a church it would be such an issue. Every church I've been to had a nursing mothers room with a window and speakers for those not comfortable nursing in the congregation. I have a hard time imagining a nursing mother and child as anything but beautiful.
Also.... I was somewhat taken back by him saying you could pump and bottle feed. Uh... no. Thanks for letting know how I can feed my child. My LO has never had a bottle. I did not think that was appropriate for him to direct you on your method whether you bottle feed or not. Not his business to say.
There's actually a Bible verse about how you should address your brother/sister in private if you have a problem with them and only take it to the community if you cannot resolve it. Right on.
I tend to have major attitude problems, especially when I feel like I am being judged or corrected. I NIPed pretty much fearlessly everywhere with my 2 kiddos, but for my own personal reasons, I chose not to die on the hill of NIPing at my place of worship. Still...the last line of the letter you received in response? Wow! Just to be clear, the tone of that was so nasty! FL law is on your side, babe. Best wishes. :)
In your shoes, I don't think I'd respond to this man anymore with my own words. I'd be more likely to respond with a lengthy page of Bible verses concerning breastfeeding, and behaviors he and those of the congregation attacking you behind your back are displaying, and then find a new church. There's nothing you need to say to this man that hasn't already been said in the book he preaches from, and he needs to get better acquainted with it.
I don't even want to talk to him anymore. I just want to be done with him. You can tell when someone is not willing to listen. We are not going back. I had been wanting to find a smaller church anyway. This church has grown too large and unfriendly. On a positive note: a family who used to go there has started their own church which we are going to check out. The pastor's wife just sent me a wonderful message of support after hearing about this incident, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be harrassed at their church.
Let's consider the spiritual implications a minute...There are several relevant passages that compares God's love for us as a mother suckling her infant. Does God cover up and only love in private? Ludicrous!
This man is not pastoral in his approach. I, too, think it is time to look elsewhere. I am so sorry this is happening to you! It is hard to feel rejected by your place of worship!