I guess I didn't think it would happen to me :( - Page 3

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by motheringforme 

I don't even want to talk to him anymore. I just want to be done with him. You can tell when someone is not willing to listen. We are not going back. I had been wanting to find a smaller church anyway. This church has grown too large and unfriendly. On a positive note: a family who used to go there has started their own church which we are going to check out. The pastor's wife just sent me a wonderful message of support after hearing about this incident, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be harrassed at their church.

I know you said that you dont want to talk to him again, and I think that is totally understandable. However, would you mind if other people wrote/called him to tell him that his behavior is not acceptable? I'm sure there are plenty of ladies here (myself included) that would love to send him a letter

[smeep]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 


I know you said that you dont want to talk to him again, and I think that is totally understandable. However, would you mind if other people wrote/called him to tell him that his behavior is not acceptable? I'm sure there are plenty of ladies here (myself included) that would love to send him a letter

For the sake of other mamas... you're likely not the first one who's been treated like that and I can almost promise you that if it's left as is, you won't be the last. And this is the kind of attitude that leads moms to wean (either directly, or indirectly; bottle feeding when out leading to the snowball effect).

[tincia]

I feel sick for you! That is so awful that your church is pushing you away and shaming you like this. They are the ones being unchristian. Honestly, if you r going to go sit in the nursery and miss the service, then why go! They are in othe rwords shunning you from the church which is just awful! Why is it appropriate to be exposed in front of others in the nursery but not the sanctuary?
I hate to put this on you, but they are breaking the law, and making it a very stigma filled environment for all mothers who attend the church. They are making you choose between attending the service and providing your baby with the right nourishment. And even worse was the way he respinded to you, it was just awful! I really think you should consider taking it to a higher level not because it will make u feel any more welcome, but because it will hopefully change the environment for other nursing mothers.
Hope you find a great church that fits your family perfectly!

[Imakcerka]

I already have my letter drafted... and I looked up the church in FL... I'm just saying

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 


I know you said that you dont want to talk to him again, and I think that is totally understandable. However, would you mind if other people wrote/called him to tell him that his behavior is not acceptable? I'm sure there are plenty of ladies here (myself included) that would love to send him a letter

[motheringforme]

Moderaters, PLEASE remove this thread that I started. It is causing too much trouble for me.

[Rani]

They won't. all you can do is erase all your comments.

[Mosaic]

Originally Posted by Rani 

They won't. all you can do is erase all your comments.

Please don't do that, as it's against the User Agreement. I, personally, would like to see this thread stay, as I think it's important for us lactivists to explore a variety of methods to get our message communicated effectively. I think sometimes we forget that different people and different environments require different approaches.

[tincia]

I think if you don't want anyone to do anything than just say so, ppl should be respectful of your wishes. I truly believe ppl are just trying to be helpful because it truly is horrible what is happening with your church and should be put to a stop before it happens again.

[motheringforme]

Originally Posted by tincia 

I think if you don't want anyone to do anything than just say so, ppl should be respectful of your wishes. I truly believe ppl are just trying to be helpful because it truly is horrible what is happening with your church and should be put to a stop before it happens again.

Apparently someone researched my location (which I have now removed) and sent the pastor an e-mail. I'm not sure what was said, but I don't know that the person was respectful in the deliverance. I believe we should always try to be nice in our presentation even if opinions differ.  I appreciate the support, I really do, but I would have prefered to be consulted with before this happened. I don't want everyone hating me when I leave.

[Imakcerka]

Hating you for being treated badly?  I'm sorry if you're worried that you'll be treated poorly again.  I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable.  And you also mentioned you commented on FB.  Or it was mentioned in the letter from your pastor.  Couldn't someone else from there have sent the email?  Someone who knows you better?

[Rani]

I can most certainly erase my own comments on any thread. If it was against the user agreement, why does the functionality exist? I pleaded with a Mod to erase a thread of mine on another forum and was not only refused, was ignored. Never heard a word from the Mod at all. I don't mean to sound harsh but it is ridiculous to me that we can't delete threads we start. All we can do is erase our words.

Originally Posted by Mosaic 


Please don't do that, as it's against the User Agreement. I, personally, would like to see this thread stay, as I think it's important for us lactivists to explore a variety of methods to get our message communicated effectively. I think sometimes we forget that different people and different environments require different approaches.

[Imakcerka]

I think since we preach respecting others... it should be deleted and we can start another one similar without names.  I think it's fair.  It's actually causing her discomfort.  She didn't expect someone possibly from here emailing her pastor.  That was disrespectful to her.  To keep it up just because a few people think it's a good talking  point... selfish. 

[Mosaic]

Originally Posted by Rani 

I can most certainly erase my own comments on any thread. If it was against the user agreement, why does the functionality exist? I pleaded with a Mod to erase a thread of mine on another forum and was not only refused, was ignored. Never heard a word from the Mod at all. I don't mean to sound harsh but it is ridiculous to me that we can't delete threads we start. All we can do is erase our words.

Deleting a thread means removing all of the thoughtful comments or research that other members carefully added, so it is unfair to them. The ability to delete your individual posts does exist, as we respect that members will behave as adults and may think twice about some of the things posted. That does not, however, entitle members to remove all of their content across a thread or across the board, as that is obviously disruptive to the discussion.

I'm clarifying this here for the benefit of all members, but further questions or clarifications regarding our user agreement, particular threads/reports, or the tools available at MDC should be made in Questions and Suggestions so as to not derail this thread anymore.

[motheringforme]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Hating you for being treated badly?  I'm sorry if you're worried that you'll be treated poorly again.  I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable.  And you also mentioned you commented on FB.  Or it was mentioned in the letter from your pastor.  Couldn't someone else from there have sent the email?  Someone who knows you better?

Whoever sent it identified themselves as being a member of this site. That's all I really know about it. I appreciate support, but I would also appreciate someone asking me about it first. I have since removed my city from public view. On a positive note, we found a new church that is just what we want: smaller with a more family like environment, more family events, and I specifically spoke to the pastor's wife, and she has no problem with this issue.

[Imakcerka]

Well... maybe this helped you move on.  Albeit kind of forced.  It's better than sitting there with all eyes on you waiting to wag a finger at you.  Good luck and many blessings.

[motheringforme]

I didn't delete my posts, but I edited the first post to remove his name. I didn't mean to put it on.

[Adaline'sMama]

That is screwed up. No one should send a letter on your behalf without asking you first. Im terribly sorry if my comment about how Im sure people would be glad to send letters inspired someone to do this.

[Imakcerka]

Yeah I said I had mine drafted.  I think someone took us seriously.
 

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

That is screwed up. No one should send a letter on your behalf without asking you first. Im terribly sorry if my comment about how Im sure people would be glad to send letters inspired someone to do this.

[goldenwillow]

I agree about the email.  Not their place however, I can see how one may want to state their mind to your old pastor.  I am really glad you found another place to worship, even better that it is your friend!  Best wishes!

[philomom]

Wasn't me. I guess I was not noticing his name.. though I had noted your city. I certainly would have asked your permission.