I doubt that fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) would cause the problems you describe. Attachment disorders seem more likely. However, when a developing fetus is exposed to alcohol, there can be significant damage to the brain and other organs, and a wide variety of physical, mental, and behavioral problems can result. The nature of the problems, as well as their severity, is likely to be dependent on how much alcohol the child's mother drank, and when in her pregnancy the drinking occurred.
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Some children with fetal alcohol spectrum disorders have distinctive facial features. If you Google FASD, you should be able to find some pictures. As an example, the child may not have a distinct "philtrum", the vertical indentation under the nose. He/she may have an unusually small head. His/her nose may be short, with a low nasal bridge. He/she may have a thin upper lip and an abnormally small lower jaw. He/she may look Asian, if he/she is not, because of an epicanthal fold of the eyelid. And so on. HOWEVER, there are some children with FASD who do not have these features, and some children with these features may have little or no FASD impairment.
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Some children with FASD cannot be definitively diagnosed with this problem until they are of school age. As an example, if a toddler has no understanding of cause and effect -- one of the most common, lifelong issues associated with prenatal alcohol exposure -- that is pretty normal. But if a child has no understanding of the consequences of his/her actions at six, and takes off running towards a very busy street because he/she wants to catch the moon, FASD should be considered. Likewise, some learning deficits associated with FASD, such as problems with quantitative reasoning, don't show up until a child is in school, learning math.
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However, if a child's birthmother is known to have consumed alcohol while pregnant, then this CAN be considered a possible cause of certain issues -- mental retardation, learning differences, hearing problems, abnormal growth, heart problems, ADD, bipolar disorder, etc. Of course, these issues can also have other origins.
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The best thing to do if you know or suspect that a child has been prenatally exposed to alcohol is to get an evaluation at a respected FASD clinic as soon as possible. Probably the best one in the U.S. is at the University of Washington. That clinic can then recommend strategies for optimizing a child's functioning, if FASD is evident.
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Attachment disorders are common in adopted children, because they generally arise when kids come to believe, through negative experiences, that they cannot trust adults to take care of them. Children who have experienced neglect or abuse, children who have been exposed to multiple foster homes, and children who have lived in orphanages where they receive little holding and nurturing are particularly vulnerable.
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Attachment disorders can be very mild to very severe. In general, the younger the child, the more likely it is that the disorder will be able to be treated; however, some older children do very well, and some very young children may be severely damaged. Â
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Some attachment disorders can be treated simply by placing the child with loving parents, who spend a lot of time playing games that promote eye contact and getting the child comfortable with being held and cuddled. Some attachment disorders, however, may be very serious and difficult to treat. Rarely, a child may be so severely affected that he/she cannot live in a family setting, and must be treated for an extended period in a residential facility that will keep him/her from harming himself/herself or others.
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Some of the behaviors you describe DO suggest an attachment disorder -- as examples, failure to make eye contact and discomfort with being cuddled.  Being charming to people outside the family and treating family like strangers can be a sign of a more severe attachment disorder, though it can also be found in children who haven't yet fully come to understand that they are in a permanent loving family.
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Biting and hitting can be attachment related, but they can also be survival tactics learned in an orphanage, foster care, or other setting. If a child has been in a setting where another child bullies him/her, he/she may learn that the best way to get what he/she wants from other children is by aggression.  If a child has rarely known a loving touch, but has been subjected to rough handling and even physical abuse, he/she is not going to be gentle. With toddlers, biting and hitting can also be related to frustration because of undeveloped communication skills.Â
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All in all, the child you were fostering shows some signs of attachment issues. Unfortunately, removing the child from your home may well have increased her propensity to attachment problems, since it created yet another breach in the bond of trust with an adult. The more times a child is moved around, the greater are the chances that he/she will develop attachment problems.
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However, if you receive this child or another one at some point, there are things you can do to promote attachment and teach him/her to trust. I would suggest that you do a lot of reading about strategies for promoting attachment. And if the child shows behaviors suggestive of attachment issues, you should definitely seek professional help from a therapist familiar with adoption/attachment issues.
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Sharon
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