Pregnant for the first time? « Back to Group Discussions

[jaguarwaterlily]

I wanted to meet other new mums on here. Share your story, hopes, fears, anything!

[poppyseed2012]

I'm a first timer! I'm scared I'm never going to feel better. I'm scared the "old days" are gone forever. I'm scared about labor. I'm scared being a mom is going to be really hard. I'm scared I'm never going to stop being nervous about whatever could be around the corner. Wow. I guess I'm really scared!

My husband and I have been together for ten years, married for five and I'm 32 years old. I have an established career that I'll return to after a traditional three month  maternity leave. So I feel like we're prepared in the financial and practical sense, but I mean, how prepared can you ever be to bring a human being into the word and be responsible for how it turns out!

I also have a horse, practice natural horsemanship and play equine soccer with her. I've given up riding until spring (I'm not willing to risk a fall) but I still go out and spend time with her. I'm excited about bringing a little one out to the barn with me!

[RenoKirbyButtrs]

First timer here as well. When I'm at work, I feel guilty about not taking better care of myself and spending more time with DH. When I'm at home, I feel guilty about not working more. I worry about how I am going to juggle it when the baby is actually here! I definitely will need to go back to work.

poppy - I hear you on worrying about never feeling well. Here's hoping we all feel better soon. I worry about that too, especially the fatigue. Everyone keeps saying a lot of the crap goes away in the second trimester. I really hope that's true!

[persephassa]

Here! I'm mostly excited--it is fun to think about how things will be different, and all the stuff we'll get to do--teaching them the alphabet, to read, etc. Mostly I'm worried about driving! I haven't had a licence since 2004--we moved from CA to RI then so my now-husband could start grad school (I joined him in 2006 and just finished my Phd this spring) and we lived close enough to everything that there was no need for driving. Even when we moved to Colorado I got around fine without driving. But now I totally need to start driving again--we just moved to Ohio, a tiny college town, and it is just too hard to do anything without driving...plus when the baby comes!! We need to go to the DMV before I get too big and weary. I am a little scared about that... I always hated driving.

I haven't had much sickness at all--except today I feel very crappy & nauseated. Mostly I'm just fatigued.  

I'm also 32, but we've been married 3 months (today is our 3 month anniversary!) and together about 10 years. I am hoping our kid won't grow up in Ohio, I am not sold on being here yet. Before we got here we thought we'd buy a house and try gentleman goat farming (well, like 2 goats, miniature ones) but now I feel like we won't stay here super long, so I guess the house will wait until we live somewhere that feels like "home." I hope we're more settled somewhere before this baby becomes a toddler...!

[poppyseed2012]

Reno - I hear you on priorities. It's a juggling act. Congrats on a May baby right before summer break!

Persephassa - Good luck with driving! Congrats on the new marriage! And if you and your husband are University peeps, looking for an awesome place to raise a kid, can I put in a plug for Madison, Wisconsin? It's an awesome place to live. :)

Here's to feeling better in the next few weeks!

[hollyann]

Hi Ladies,

I'm also 32 and pregnant with my first baby! I've been married for 6 years, together for almost 10!

I'm so excited, and yet I can't even grasp how my life is going to change, it all feels a bit surreal at the moment. The hardest part for me is accepting the uncertainty of pregnancy and caring for a newborn, and trying to realize that I can't really control any of what is to come ahead, as my body makes room for this baby and I make room for him or her in my life. 

After the baby comes, I am planning to be a stay at home mom, so there will defiantly be a lot of changes both with welcoming baby, as well as with my husband and the new roles we will take on, as stay at home mom vs. bread winner. It feels funny to be happily venturing into those roles, (the traditional family model :P ) esp. since dh and haven't been very "traditional" in our roles or life before this, I do however feel very happy and blessed to be able to try out being a stay at home mom!

[Towgirl]

ME!!

I'm 31 and this will be my first baby <3

I spent a lot of time with my step kids over the past nine years- they lived with their dad and I until he passed away three years ago and I am so lucky to be close with their mom too- and we are so excited to tell them about the new baby tonight! I just lost my job.... so I am looking for something part time, probably in retail for the next few months to help with Christmas gifts... Motherhood and a bunch of kids stores are hiring now for the holidays, so I am hoping to be able to score a job and get a discount somewhere!!

[janellody]

ME!  First baby and I am 28.  I married my hubby 3 years ago and we waited because he had a daughter who had died at 9 months old, and that was only about 4 years ago, so he wasn't ready for a loooong time.  He actually never was really ready but we agreed to just pick a date as he probably would never feel "ok" about it.  Now that I am pregnant he has told me he thinks he is ready and actually said the other day he was thinking about holding the baby and got excited about it. 

I can't wait until we get to have our own little family.  I have waited ALL MY LIFE for this.. so it was majorly hard waiting 3 years to get started.  I don't know if I would have been able to handle a long TTC period, so I was thrilled when I got pregnant on the first try!  We both want a girl because his family is full of boys and we are scared we won't get one!  He is the only one who has produced a girl so far (the one who passed away) so we are just hoping that we can get 1 more for the family, we all need a little girl! 

It's hard to imagine me as a mother, even though it's all I have ever wanted all my life!  I have always felt very youthful so thinking of me as a mom is a bit weird!  But I am totally excited to be called mama

[jaguarwaterlily]

Well ladies, I'm 25 and this is my first baby (yay!). My hubby and I will be married for 8 years this December but we have been with each other officially for 10 1/2 years. We actually grew up with each other and he was my first kiss and I was his. We've been inseparable since we were little. I mean I could remember us playing house and carrying a baby doll around. LOL! We've wanted a baby for such a long time but we waited until we were financially and emotionally ready to bring a new life into this world. This baby is such a big blessing for us! 

Poppy, well yes, I can tell that you're scared. LOL. Just take a deep breath! Now, a baby is an amazing gift that helps you see the world in totally new way. Don't worry about going back to the past. Look forward to the incredible future you are going to have. All you have to do is love that precious baby and you'll be a great mom. About labor, read up on successful labor stories. I plan to do a unassisted waterbirth at home, so I have been reading on other women's stories, listening to their advice, and also, most importantly, I am going to order books on emergency birthing skills so not only do I know what to do, but so does my hubby. Create a support team as well. You are gonna be fine :) And yes, the second trimester is supposed to be easier (I'm at 8 weeks so I wouldn't know just yet).

Reno- *hugs* Stop feeling so guilty for things you have little to no control over. Just do your best. I'm sure things will work out fine when it comes to work. Makes me feel lucky that I'm self-employed.

Persephassa- I also want to wish you luck in your driving exams. I'm having a conflict with moving too. My baby's due date is May 28th and I was supposed to be moving to Florida from NYC in May. I dunno how this is going to work out! LOL! I don't even know which state the baby will be born it. I guess I will just let the baby decide :D

Hollyann- hi! I mostly work out of home (I am a Priestess) so I kinda will be a stay-at-home mum as well. I think its kinda funny for me as a feminist, but being a strong woman is about choosing whats best for us. I know that new baby is gonna demand so much but it'll all be so worth it :)

Towgirl- HI! I hope you get a job asap! Congrats on your little blessing :)

Janellody- Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I know what you mean about wanting a baby but hard to imagine being a mother. I'm so used to be "just me". Now its me plus one. lol. I'm just taking it little by little. Someone called me mom the other day I was like- whoa! Just say mum-to-be for now. LOL

[maryamrose]

I'm also a first-timer. I'm 26 and my husband is 31. We've been together for 8 years, married for six. We been caring for a lot of non-human kiddos, and we're nervous about the idea of caring for a tiny, completely-dependent ape, but I think it'll be fine. It's a huge change, though! We were pretty sure for a while that we didn't want any biological children, so it was a pretty big deal for us to do this. We didn't think it would happen so fast! I figured 6 months or so, because I have some minor health issues (mild hypothyroidism, mild sex hormone imbalances) but I guess my naturopath's herbal blend helped make the process easier; I got pregnant in the first cycle.

We just bought a house (got the keys on Friday!) and it needs a lot of work, so we're coordinating contractors... and I'm a new-ish graduate student, and I'm trying to stay on top of work... and we also have to move all our stuff 60 miles away and re-make a home. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy and not stress out too much, so I'm trying to stay on top of things and keep them manageable. It's a lot of changes all at once and I'm a little overwhelmed, but I think everything will work out in the end.

[jaguarwaterlily]

Maryamrose- nice to meet you. I know how you feel. I have 5 cats and 2 bunnies. One of my kitties is sitting on my lap as I type this. Our hands are pretty full with our non-human kids and thinking about how a human baby is coming soon can be overwhelming. I hope my kitties won't freak out when they see my kid pop out of me. Congrats on the new house! We're planning to move in May but the baby is also due in May, lol! It's gonna be chaotic, but I know we can deal with it.