Reward/allowance thingies?

[smeep]

My brain isn't working right now so replace "thingies" with...whatever I was intending to say. lol 

I was thinking of giving DS an allowance...$5 a month because he's 5 years old. I thought maybe doing a dollar a week and the extra dollar on the last day... and attach each dollar at the end of a week on a calendar and mark off the chores written on it when he does them, and then he gets his dollar? Or does anyone have a better idea? And what chores do you have for your 5-ish-year-old? (He'll be 6 in December.)

[meemee]

yikes mama. do you think a dollar a month is the right amount. 5 bucks a week seems fair. 

gosh if you make the $$$ amount too low its not worth him doing anything. 

dd has been getting 5 bucks a week since she turned 5 from her dad for folding and putting clothes away, sweeping the floor, the backyard, sorting the clothes into colours. 

her dad's philosophy is money for chores. 

dunno. i dont go into it. dd does way more chores at my home for no money. she gets no allowance from me. 

[zebra15]

I don't pay for chores.  Chores are just part of life but DS does get an allowance.  He is 11 and his allowance is in the range of 25-$40/month.  It depends on how much extra $ I have and if he gets a 'bonus' or not.  He is expected to buy some of his own 'stuff'.  Like I don't buy extra Lego sets, video games etc unless its a holiday or birthday.  Friday we were at the craft store, I 'needed' yarn for a new project.  Once we were there DS decided he 'needed' halloween socks and some wooden cut outs for halloween.  He paid for his items, about $6.00.  He also has a very difficult time keeping track of chapstick, I will get him 1 tube every few months, after that DS needs to buy his own.  Granted the chapstick is like a buck but I am not buying that every couple weeks.  

I should say DS has his own bank account and pre-paid card, 2 different things. So its easy for me to log on and just transfer $$ to him.  I have shown him how to log on and view his account, monitor his transactions, access money at the ATM, etc.

I will say DS is more conscious of coupons (like at the craft store) and watches for sales for the stuff he wants.  Surprisingly he doesn't loose things as often either.

In the next couple years I see his allowance increasing to cover the difference in the cost of clothes.  For example I budget $25 for jeans and he wants the $50 jeans, he can make up the difference type thing.  Right now I cover everything.  Plus he really doesn't go 'out' with friends.

[SweetSilver]

My daughters are 6.5 and 5.  Beginning just before dd1's 5th birthday I started to give allowance-- one quarter for every year each week.  So now she gets 6 quarters and my youngest 5 (no extra for 5.5!)  We do not tie allowance to chores.  Allowance is for learning about how to handle money, both emotionally and financially.  And, wow!  What big lessons!  I'm glad that the lessons are learned with 1.50 and not 20.00.   In the 2 years we have come a long way.  DD2 started getting allowance, but at first only because her sister got it.  They also get "extra allowance" for lost teeth and birthdays.

The best advice I heard for me was that if it hurts you to see your child blowing his money, then you are giving him too much.  For a 5yo, learning about money, desire-- "dragon lust" we call it after the Hobbit-- is a big enough ride.  Keep it small, keep it simple.

As self-employed parents we have the chance to give out kids meaning ful work if they wanted, and they made $25 each dogsitting once.  What a landfall!  They really did all the work for 5 days because I told them it was all-or-nothing.  Now my oldest wants to start a stand and sell jelly.  Well, we'll get to that eventually!

[meemee]

btw food for thought. 

'me personally' am not into allowance. i never have been. we are super poor so that is a life lesson right there. i have done exercises to teach her the concept of money. yes even at 5. here is $X. you want to eat that for dinner but i have that much of money. this is a list of ingredients we have to buy. shall we change the menu to fit the budget? 

when we have money we splurge. when we dont we cant. but its a 'we' thing. not her and me thing. 

she gets it. in fact in 3rd grade her teacher was impressed by how much real life experience dd had with money as she was calling out on word problems dealing with cost of things. 

[Imakcerka]

We don't do allowances,  we do offer something they may want as an incentive.  We plan to get it anyway but I always ask for a little help and they usually give it.  They don't get a lot of stuff so they're always willing to trade their time for something they can finally get.  Sorry I'm no help.  I feel it's this families house and we all like it a certain way.  They like being able to find their clothes and knowing where things are.  I like not stepping on piles to get in their room. 

[Turtlecouple]

DS1 is 7 years old and he gets $7 a week. 50 cents goes into savings, and another 50 cents goes into donation fund. Every March (his birthday) he take the money in the donation fund and finds a charity he'd like to donate to. So really his "take home" is $6. 

We don't tie allowance to chores either. We don't buy him any toys (except bdays and christmas, etc). He has to save up to buy video games, toys etc. I have to say I've been pleasantly surprised at how well he does saving his money to buys what he wants. 

[Polliwog]

20 dollars a month??? For a five-year-old? That sounds crazy to me. DD's almost five and I can't imagine giving her that much money. And there's no way I could give her 20 a month and DS 28 dollars a month. That's more money than my kids need to have.

Originally Posted by meemee 

yikes mama. do you think a dollar a month is the right amount. 5 bucks a week seems fair. 

gosh if you make the $$$ amount too low its not worth him doing anything. 

dd has been getting 5 bucks a week since she turned 5 from her dad for folding and putting clothes away, sweeping the floor, the backyard, sorting the clothes into colours. 

her dad's philosophy is money for chores. 

dunno. i dont go into it. dd does way more chores at my home for no money. she gets no allowance from me. 

[mamazee]

I used to give my dd that much (like a dollar per year each week) and she'd want to spend it all on candy. Now I only give as much as I'm willing for her to spend on candy or whatever other garbage she wants. If it's her allowance, IMO she should be able to spend it however she wants, but OTOH I'm not giving her money to buy a ton of candy. She's getting $2.50 a week now and she will usually only spend the 50 cents on candy- I've found that too, that if there's a some-dollar-amount-plus-50-cents, she'll want to spend the 50 cents on candy instead of all of it.

[Imakcerka]

I would consider giving them money to save for things they may want.  I just don't want to pay them for things.  I would rather we all work together than split up chores.  It works better that way for us.  I don't want it to be oh I can either do this and get some money or not do it and get nothing.  My girls... would never have money if that was in play.  But then again that's just us.  Our family runs to a different tune.  So I've been told by so many.  Oh well.

[mamazee]

Oh yeah, that post reminds me that I don't pay for chores either. Allowance is unrelated.

[mamazee]

Oh yeah, that post reminds me that I don't pay for chores either. Allowance is unrelated.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

20 dollars a month??? For a five-year-old? That sounds crazy to me. DD's almost five and I can't imagine giving her that much money. And there's no way I could give her 20 a month and DS 28 dollars a month. That's more money than my kids need to have.

well if you are getting paid for chores, isnt that a fair deal.

plus the idea was to save up for something. a toy or something you cant buy them. within a month that is an attainable goal. otherwise if you just wanted an icecream at a dollar a week you'd have to save up at least 2 to 3 weeks to get an icecream - a bottom of the line crappy icecream. 

i guess if you have more kids that does add up for the parent. 
 

but for dd's dad 5 bucks for a healthy treat a week for a school going child was reasonable. at 6 dd made $20 bucks one afternoon for sweeping a friend's large backyard (she had broken her arm), helping with giving the dog a bath and folding clothes adn putting them away. for the amount of work dd did it was absolutely worth every single penny.  

[Imakcerka]

Ok meemee, that begs to question... why can't they learn to do things for the joy of helping someone else?  My girls often help the elderly neighbor with all sorts of things.  Payment isn't an option and they do it because he needs the help.  They walk away feeling as though they have done a good thing.  They don't help him for money.  Though with your thinking they could have made a fortune already. 

They helped the neighbor lady across the street by watering her yard the week she vacationed.  She gave them 10 each.  Both were puzzled about the whole thing.  Asked me if I wanted the money for the grocery store.  I have a hard time with them getting money to buy "things".  I don't feel good about giving them money to do what needs to be done.  They know I need help sometimes because of my RA and they'll help without me asking.  Or if they see I have a task to accomplish they'll pitch in.  I think it would ruin their view of doing what needs to be done if I put a monetary value on it. 

That being said, if I have the money for something they want they get it.  Usually they know I don't have the money for it and they've come to understand that when they do get something it's a treat and not because they had to do my bidding to get it.  Rewarding by praise and appreciation goes a lot further in my mind.

[LynnS6]

We don't give money for chores. Chores are part of keeping a family running, and without them, the house falls apart. Chores are not equivalent to a 'job' for a child, IMO, they're part of daily life. I don't get paid for household chores and neither should they.

We do, however, give an allowance (when we remember -- right now we're down to about every 3 months because I keep forgetting and my kids don't remind me). We started with $1 or $2 (can't remember) a week at age 5. We then asked the kids to place 1/2 of the money in 'spending', 1/4 in savings and 1/4 in giving. We had separate jars for each.

Here's what I discovered: My kids don't spend ANY of the money. Ds will, if prodded, spend some of the giving money. Dd has hopelessly mixed hers (she likes to take out her money and count it), and now she won't spend any of it for charity. (She is, however, willing to do extra chores to earn money for charity -- we have a charity project at church that she's doing extra things for right now.) I'm not very comfortable with the extra chores = money, and probably won't continue it. Dd regularly helps weed the garden, set the table, etc. and I'm afraid this is going to kill her natural desire to help. (Ds, on the other hand, likes to be served and never does extra unless directly asked. however, he doesn't mind parting with his money.)

Dd claims she's going to save all her money for college.  However, she's really coveting an American Girl doll, and might be willing to part with her stash for that. (She's trying to talk me into paying for 1/2, as she's 'only' got $50. We're looking on Ebay, and her latest was that she'd pay for the doll and I'd pay for shipping!)

My conclusions:

1. Five is too young to start an allowance. They don't really have 'wants' for spending money until they're older. Maybe my kids are less acquisitive than some, but they get money (from relatives) and gifts at Christmas and Birthdays, and we provide basic clothing. We get our books at the library 99% of the time. 10-11 is a better age to start, for my kids at least.

2. Chores should be part of the family routine. It makes the child feel like a contributing member of the family. Money for chores diminishes that.

[SweetSilver]

I don't think 5 is too young for an allowance, at least I don't think that all 5yo's are too young.  It is an iffy age, I'll agree, and parents should be mindful.  Sometimes the only way to find out is to start at some point.  Since it's hard to back out, start small.  Very small.  $1/week is not too small (over $2/week I think is too much).  My girls find all kids of little Playmobil animals (in the bulk bin--guinea pigs are .35, puppies .85, foals 1.50 etc).  They save up for coloring books, larger animals, etc. It's hard for them to save more than about $7 before wanting to spend it.  I'm keeping an eye out for more ambitious desires and the self-discipline to save up for it.  Maybe then we'll up the allowance, but not by much.  They have lots of ways to make money if they want, they could dog-sit or cat-sit, they can figure it out.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Ok meemee, that begs to question... why can't they learn to do things for the joy of helping someone else?  My girls often help the elderly neighbor with all sorts of things.  Payment isn't an option and they do it because he needs the help.  They walk away feeling as though they have done a good thing.  They don't help him for money.  Though with your thinking they could have made a fortune already. 

They helped the neighbor lady across the street by watering her yard the week she vacationed.  She gave them 10 each.  Both were puzzled about the whole thing.  Asked me if I wanted the money for the grocery store.  I have a hard time with them getting money to buy "things".  I don't feel good about giving them money to do what needs to be done.  They know I need help sometimes because of my RA and they'll help without me asking.  Or if they see I have a task to accomplish they'll pitch in.  I think it would ruin their view of doing what needs to be done if I put a monetary value on it. 

That being said, if I have the money for something they want they get it.  Usually they know I don't have the money for it and they've come to understand that when they do get something it's a treat and not because they had to do my bidding to get it.  Rewarding by praise and appreciation goes a lot further in my mind.

Hey Im. i get you and i agree with you. i was describing dd's dad's point of view and why he does what he does. i differ from him.  we dont do allowance at home coz for us a lot of decisions are centered around money. so the concept of money happens naturally. 

charity and savings. now savings obviously dd gets because if she wants a new game she has to save for it. however with charity - we have more time than money and dd is involved with that process. so for her charity is inherent. not something you do if you have money to spare. its something you do because you see the need around you. 

i hate the focus on 'money'. i'm more about concepts and money for our family is not the way to learn them. 

[Alyantavid]

We don't do allowance.  It is something we're talking about right now, so that my change.  They won't get an allowance for chores though.  I really can't imagine giving my 5 year old $20 a month though.

My kids have chores and a chore chart.  When they've filled up their chart, they can exchange it for a coupon.  These coupons are for picking the movie on movie night or staying up late, things like that.  Chores are part of our family and we all do our part.  The chores I put on their chore chart are things I need them to work on, like making beds.  It just helps make it a habit in a positive way, not a nagging way.

We do pay for extra jobs.   That's a good way of getting them to understand that they can make extra money by doing a job and doing it well.  We only buy them toys/games on birthdays and Christmas so any other things they want to buy, they do with their own money. 

My 5 year old's chores are:

helping unload the dishwasher

keeping his room clean

setting the table

dealing with his laundry (I wash, he puts away)

making his bed

Weekly, my kids (5 and 9) clean their areas; bedrooms, playroom and bathroom. 

[One_Girl]

I gave my dd a dollar a week at that age.  I think it is a nice amount because she got enough to spend on the things she wanted by saving without getting so much that she would start getting a bunch of junk for the sake of getting junk.  I think a large allowance teaches kids to be materialistic, though for some kids making it too small can do the same if what they really want is to spend. 

As it turned out my dd really didn't want to spend it that often for the first couple years.  She really planned her purchases and was fine saving it up for long periods of time.  She did go through a really big spending splurge stage when she was seven but has learned a lot about how nice it is to plan purchases because of that.  She didn't learn the first time she blew her money on an immediate want then didn't have money for something she had been planning for, but after a few months of splurging and realizing she didn't really play with the splurges once she had them she was able to go back to planning on her own.  When she was seven I raised her allowance to $2 a week because she is saving for bigger things, like an American Girl Doll, now and I want to make it more attainable.  She also gets to choose what to do with her birthday money, usually she puts most of it into savings and keeps about $20.

I don't link allowance to chores because they are a requirement, I am not okay with my dd deciding not to do chores because she doesn't care about having her allowance for the week.  I do make up jobs and pay her a little extra sometimes when she is really eager to make some extra money and she can earn extra money by walking the dog for her grandpa though.  I think that if you decide to link allowance to chores you need to pick chores that you don't mind having to do yourself and you need to be comfortable not paying him when he doesn't live up to his part of the deal.

[tooraloora]

We don't do allowances (and don't intend to), and chores are part of being a member of the household. We all need to help out. However, 6 year old DD does have the option of doing extra tasks for money (as will DS when he's older). She knows it's an option, so when she feels she needs/wants more money, she comes to talk to me. We discuss what all I need done, she throws in her ideas, we agree on the task(s), and then negotiate reasonable compensation. The opportunity to learn to manage money is certainly there, but that money must be earned. Reason being, I want my kids to learn that in a family everyone needs to work together to keep the household running smoothly, even if they aren't getting a monetary reward for it, I want them to understand the importance of hard work, and the value of money. At the moment, DD's chores consist of clearing and cleaning the table after meals and snacks, putting away toys, putting away clean dishes, putting her laundry in the washing machine (I wash and fold), putting away her clean clothes, keeping her room tidy, taking out the garbage, and taking scraps to the compost heap. To earn money, common tasks include sweeping and scrubbing the kitchen floor, wiping down cabinets, reorganizing the pots and pans (which her 14 month old brother loves to reek havoc on), weeding the garden, vaccuming, and helping to clean out the fridge. I pay her very little for these tasks (usually $0.10-$2.00), but we have very little coming in to begin with, we live very simply, and I want her to learn to save, stretch, and choose what's really important to her.