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It's good to teach them that in order for all things to run smoothly we all need to pitch in. The girls know that if mama spends a lot of time cleaning, then they have less time with me to play around. It's much more fun to get it all done together and then find something fun to do with all our extra time.Â
Hmm. Lots of things to think about. I have a hard time agreeing with the "no allowance for chores" thing but at the same time I have a hard time disagreeing with it too. Perhaps, he could have his very basic chores (pick up after himself, etc.) and does those regardless, and then has "extras" that he does for allowance. I do want him to understand that there's crap you gotta do that you'll never get paid for, but I also want him to start understanding the awesomeness of doing something and getting paid for it.Â
For the basic you-do-it-no-matter-what things (picking up after himself is really the main one for me) ... how the bloody hell do I "enforce" it? It just snowballs and then I feel overwhelmed. For a while there it was okay because I was telling him throughout the day to pick up X, Y and Z, but lately I've been so busy with school and no one else in the house bothers to ask him to pick up (it's a long, LONG story why this is even an issue lol and it would probably be more deserving of its own thread).Â
I definitely think $5 a week would be way too much. Honestly, he NEVER spends his money. He's got lots of change in a couple banks right now and he NEVER spends it. So I'm not worried about him blowing it all on candy either. lol (He never asks for that stuff when I go to the store either, phew! The worst habit he has is asking me on our Friday movie nights for a "heat-em-up" aka one of those horrid Kid Cuisine TV dinners, yick! lol)
I set aside specific times for chores, and we have a pretty strict "work before play" rule. DD understands that if she wants to have fun, she needs to take care of her responsibilities first. If she doesn't want to do her chores, that's fine, but nothing fun is happening until she does. Once, she decided she didn't want to do chores anymore. It lasted about a week. I didn't really make a big deal out of it, and stepped in to handle her share of household duties. A few times she came up to me wanting to do something with me (like play a game) and I responded with "Sweetie, I would love to play Shoots & Ladders with you, but you don't want to help out around the house anymore, so I have a lot more work to do now. I just don't have time to play anymore." She decided to start doing her chores again pretty quickly. It's never been a problem since. For awhile she did have a problem with forgetting, and as did I with a newborn in the house, so during that time period I set alarms on my phone and posted checklists. The alarms were to remind me that it was time for a certain transition period, like the one that went off an hour before her bedtime so I could remind her to make sure she had everything done and get a story picked out, while I made chammomile tea and started getting the baby settled down. That way we both had the chance to do what we needed to do, and then we still had plenty of time to cuddle up for story time before bed. I have a really hard time falling into a routine, so the alarms were pretty important on my end. As for the checklists, there was a morning checklist on the bathroom door (the first place she headed in the morning) to remind her of what needed to be done before school, an evening checklist beside it to remind her of what needed to be done before bed, and an afternoon checklist on the front door for her to check before she ran out to play. After awhile we fell into the routine and neither of us really needed any of that anymore, though any time our routine changes, she asks for new checklists. She really likes doing things on her own and loved the checklists because they were a tool to help her get everything done, but still all by herself.
My kid are 10 and 12 and they have each gotten an allowance for years. They started at $2/week and stayed there. Then they both went to $10/month. DD is now in junior high and when she started junior high we moved her allowance to $25/month.
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The purpose of an allowance, in our household, is to teach money handling skills. It is not, therefore, tied to chores. Basic chores are done because they are part of a family and without doing basic chores a household would fall apart. Very occasionally there are extra chores that may be paid. One thing about not tieing chores and allowance: if you say that you do chores to get allowance, that implies the option of NOT doing chores if you don't want the allowance. It is a very common issue with teens to decide that they would rather not do the chores and not get the money.
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Allowance is, as I said, about money handling/budgeting. Because of that, when the kids first started getting allowance they were given it in coins and had to count the money to us. So, identify the different coins and then count it up to $2. This wasn't an issue for them, but I'm not sure when that is a common skill (DS was doing this by four). For us, it really cut down on them wanting us to buy them small things because we just put it on their "list" and the could buy things themselves. They were responsible for candy, knick knacks and whatever else they wanted to buy.
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Our goal, though, is for them to be more self-sufficient as they get older. DD is 12 now and gets more money but also has more monetary responsiblities. Instead of just buying things she wants, she is also responsible for buying her friends birthday gifts, dance/activity fees at school (not things like books or participation fees, but the small admission fees they put on dances and other after school events). She has also bought herself a few items of clothing when I said no (like this fall, I had already bought her a hoodie on vacation, so she had 3-5 lightweight jackets and she wanted another: she bought that one).
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Ideally, each year or so we would add more money to their allowance and more responsiblities to what they are responsible to buy. I know that some families even make each child responsible for at least one bill (they provide the money, but the kid needs to open the bill, look at the bill, arrange for a check to be sent through bill pay, etc...). We'll see if we do that. I would definatley like them to eventually be responsible for all their school costs, their clothing, and their outside of family entertainment. Let me be clear: I don't expect them to earn the money to pay for it, we will provide it. Rather, I want them to be responsible for budgeting and physically making the payments.
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As for the OP. You also asked about chores for a five year old. Possible chores:
- unload dishwasher
- set table
- collect garbage from around house
- take out recycling
- make bed
- put non-hangable clothes away
- put whites away from laundry
- pet care
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Good luck!
I also don't tie chores to the allowance, although that's something that husband and I didn't agree on at first, and I'm still not sure he understands the way I'm doing it.
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My twins are 6 1/2 . I give each boy (little sister is too young) $12 a month. Half I have already dumped into their savings account for the whole year, which means they see 6 a month. I've been paying every three months (becasue I'm having a hard time remembering, and it does seem 'better' to get 18 dollars rather than 6 at payday.). They are responsible for paying for their library fines (because we had some lost books, that were later found under and behind the bunkbeds.I'm not talking about fines I incur because I didn't get us there.), and then they can do as they see fit. But they have to have a written plan for their money, not just money burning a hole in their pocket that they spend on the first thing they see.
Like TiredX2, we see allowance as an opportunity to learn how to handle money, not for chores. Our elementary age kids (11, 10 and 7) get $2 a week. The local Credit Union comes to the school, and they decide for themselves how much to put in the bank account and how much to spend. If the older two want extra money, they work on their businesses (both are young entrepreneurs, and I am so proud of them). The only time I offer money for chores is if it is something way beyond expected. Like, this summer my 11 year old DS mowed an acre with a push mower for me when DS and I were working too much to keep up (I'm so glad the rest of our property is field and woods!). That was a big deal, so I did pay him.
My son just turned 5 last month and my husband and I have been discussing doing an allowance. We have been considering $1 a week and he will only receive it if he has behaved for the week, not given us any trouble with his chores. He will earn more if he has behaved extremely well, thought of others before himself, etc. We're trying to figure out the ratio of putting his $ into savings while also giving him spending $. Any ideas would be great! <3
We tried a non-money reward system with our almost 4 year old and it didn't work. He didn't really get the concept of "dollarz" and he doesn't really understand about real money either.
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We do expect him to do chores and we'll give him tangible rewards for really great behavior.Â
When he's older we might do an allowance for extra chores or for asking to mow the lawn, things like that, but we believe that he's responsible for age appropriate chores and daily jobs around the home because he's a member of our family. I want him to understand how to manage money, but I think he's not mature enough (and might not be mature enough for a while) for that. I want to get him a kiddie checking account (with the stamps in the deposit record, like I had) when he's just a little older. I think it can be fun for him, a great teachable moment and also a good time for one-on-one time with a parent since he'll be the oldest of 3 soon. Also, MIL works at a bank and I am sure it would be a fun thing to do for a grandparent day out also.
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Do they still have those little bank books with fun stamps? I think mine were dinosaurs with the monitary amount in a box so we could keep track. Maybe they do it with little kiddie check cards now, lol, who knows!
Great thread - newcomer here, I spend more time in Montessori forum. I have a 3 yo with no allowance so I'm eager to see the responses so I can decide what I'll do.
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At this point - but, I'm looking for other perspectives, I intend to start an allowance at the age of 5 (maybe 4) depending on her awareness of the concept of money. Small enough so it covers her basics (I'll explain what I mean by basics in next paragraph), but enough so after basics, there is incentive to save or result from squandering.
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We started with the concept of money when she was 2. Ever since she could walk, when we went to the local food co-op , I put a dollar in her woven shopping basket and if she wanted a banana (her favorite treat at the store), she was expected to go to the counter herself and buy her own banana (and then eat it as we were shopping). The workers at the store love her - they know it's Sunday afternoon when Lindsey is at the counter with a dollar to buy her banana. They know her by name, and don't know my name.
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She's 3 - I give her the dollar in the car before we even go in the store. No big deal. But, she understands the concept that you must have money to buy something. In fact, there are times where I didn't have enough cash, she could only get her banana, but not anything else until we were done shopping and I bought everything with debit card (another lesson in 10 years *ha*).
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I look forward to the day where I can say: Lindsey, this is your allowance (given the day BEFORE shopping, to associate allowance = shopping)- you can use it to buy your special items. If you want your banana treat, or a toy - you will buy it. I'm envisioning her excitement at going to her "money box" and getting a dollar so she can buy her own banana, and then being able to put the change back in her box, rather than me pocketing it.
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Personally, I won't tie chores to money (except as a penalty, where she must pay for me doing her chores) - As a participant of the household, my daughter will be expected to do chores. As a participant of the household, an allowance is her bounty of the household budget. She will do her chores - I have enough logical forcing mechanisms - no TV until everything is picked up, we will eat after we put away dishes, time for bed after things are put away. Or, a la Loving Logic, I'll be happy to charge her to put her toys away (obviously associating it close enough in time so that my putting her toys away on Saturday night means she doesn't have enough money for a banana on Sunday shopping). Granted, we may have a miserable day at the store (including leaving a half-full cart) if I explain that she spent her money by paying me to put away her toys the previous night.
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Any thoughts or comments - I really hope that the requirement for chores, household maintenance is part of being a participant of the house. Allowance is part of the bounty of the household - it is enough to pay for basics each week (for us, maybe it's just a banana at age 4) and save the change for extras like a toy (off cycle from Christmas or birthday). If she doesn't want to do her chores, she can pay me (recognizing the impact within 48 hours - even if we don't need to get food, I go will shopping within 48 hours so she can face the consequences - trust me, before shopping when we go to look for a dollar, she'll have hint that she's "broke") - and I fully expect that day when she says: I want my banana - do you have your dollar - no - why not - i gave it to you to put away my toys - sorry, no banana.
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Screaming fit - we will leave the store with an apologetic smile to people there explaining that this is a lesson. I'll probably notify the staff in the store in advance that at times I may leave the cart with a screaming child who didn't have enough money for a banana.
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Following week, if she decides she doesn't want to put away her toys, I'll ask her - do you want to pay me a dollar to put away your toys? Remember, if you give me your dollar, you cannot get a banana (a ritual since she was about 18 months old).
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I see this as increasing in amount - to and from. I'll charge her the "banana dollar" to put away her toys or $5 to clean her room - in essence, her charge/penalty will closely equal the weekly amount. I'm also not adverse to saying: You don't want to put it away? That's fine - I will - I don't want it and I'll put it in the trash.
We also don't do allowance for chores. The kids get a small allowance a week ($1 for the preschooler, $1.50 for the elementary schooler). They do have chores, but they get the allowance regardless of how well they've done completing their work. We use other incentives to encourage them to do their chores (for example, telling them we can all walk down to the park together as long as their room is clean by the time we'd need to go). They can also pay me to do their chores for them, but since I don't work cheaply, I've only been taken up on this offer once.
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Usually they save up for 5 or 6 weeks - just long enough to buy a small toy or pack of trading cards - but I do give some incentives/help for saving for bigger ticket items. I do let them make deposits in a family 'bank', and if they save at least $20, they get a rather large interest payment (it works out to raising their weekly allowance by 50%). I will also pay them to do some extra chores around the house. That way there are rewards for kids who save and for kids who are willing to work hard, but they still learn that everyone in the family has to pitch in to take care of the house.
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I tried giving my kids allowance a LONG time ago, and then we couldn't afford to give it for a long time.  I've gone back and forth in my mind on the paying for chores v. not.  Recently we've been more in a situation where we can give them something, but not necessarily a set $$ amount per week per kid.  Here is what we have started to do.  They have all had regular chores they are expected to do.  They do not get paid for them.  They are part of family life, and since Dad is working full time and a 3/4 time student, this puts a lot of pressure on Mom to keep up with everyone's homework, feeding babies, changing diapers, meal times, laundry and clean up.  So, from the 5yo up, they share a fair bit of work around the house.  3yo DD helps pick up toys, and then will help Mama as she can, but no set chore.  Then, if they want to earn pocket money, I have a long list of chores they can choose to do, from small things all the way up to mopping or mowing the lawn (12 or 14 yo only).  There is no limit to what they can earn in a day or week.  They get tired out or bored before they get too high $$.  Most jobs are worth 5, 10 or 25 cents.  A few are as high as a dollar and mowing gets $5.  5 cent items are like each book put properly on the shelf, or piece of laundry picked up off the floor is 5 cents.  I used FlyLady's detailed zone cleaning list (http://flylady.net/pages/FlightPlan.asp click the printable link) and tweeked it to come up with a decent list of extra jobs beyond the basics, then just figured what I'd be willing to pay per job. Â
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Most of the kids are thrilled with this. Â Oldest DS has a job and chooses not to participate, other than mowing the lawn. Â They were more active right at first, but anytime they want some spending money, they know how they can get it now. Â I have been careful not to penalize them except for one thing, they have been terrible at leaving lights on all over the house. Â Running lights costs me extra money, so if they are the cause, they contribute. Â If I see bedroom lights left on, all occupants of said room owe me 5 cents, unless I am very sure who was last in there. Â Every time I see it, it is 5 cents. Â We have had almost no lights left on since about a week after I started fining them for running their lights. Â Also, they pay library fines themselves out of their pocket money.Â
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When we go to big brother's sporting events, I don't have to be begged for money anymore, they are allowed to bring $2 each for snacks.  They can save up for building kits or whatever they want.  Every week to 10 days DH brings home a roll each of quarters/nickels/dimes and if I run out, I save the sheets where they write down their earnings until DH gets to the bank. 
My kids are 7 and 9 and each make $5/week for chores. DD sweeps and mops the kitchen floor, DS takes care of the dishwasher. I watch 2 other kids after school, so my kids do end up cleaning some of the mess created by my paid employment... that factors in to why I pay them, though it's hardly the whole reason. I expect them to do a good job in a reasonable time frame, just like a real employer. They are free to spend it on treats or save it for the toy store... they do a bit of both, which I think is good.
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We tried chores for money once before, about a year ago. It was for $2/week, and DD had to organize the shoe/coat area and DS had to take the garbage can up to the lane. I ended up firing them because I had to nag DS to do his job, and DD wasn't doing hers properly (I gave them each a  few warnings) They seem to have learned from that experience and value their current jobs much more. They prefer having some money they have control over, rather than it being entirely up to me whether or not they get a treat one day. They've spent money on some things I wouldn't, and opted not to spend any money on things I'd have bought for them without hesitation... as a result they have more of what they value. I've actually learned a little bit about them from observing their habits!
Heck I barely have $20/month for extras for myself, those saying a 5-6 year old should have so much must be rich!
Normal chores (picking up his own stuff, etc) I don't pay for, for additional jobs around the house I give DS (5) pocket change. He saves up and buys candy when we go to the candy store.
Heck I barely have $20/month for extras for myself, those saying a 5-6 year old should have so much must be rich!
Normal chores (picking up his own stuff, etc) I don't pay for, for additional jobs around the house I give DS (5) pocket change. He saves up and buys candy when we go to the candy store.
We bring in about $30,000./year and half that goes to rent alone. I'm paying 2 kids $5/week and not really feeling it. You just rearrange where you're spending... one family might rent a movie a few times a month, buy a treat with their groceries, and pay for an afternoon at the swimming pool. We skip the movies, the kids get their own treat at the candy store and can pay their own way into the pool. I think it's even more important for those of us with a low income to give the kids some control over money... they can't have everything they want or a lot of the things their friends have, but they can prioritize their wants and spend the amount money that is available on the things that are most important to them.
Right now we're not doing allowance for our DS 4 year old.
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However, I did want to mention what Suze Orman recommends in her book, The Money Class. If I remember correctly, for younger kids she recommends a similar system that has been previously mentioned. Required chores that have no financial compensation. Then, there are additional chores that are paid. However, there is a list and order of the chores and kids must fulfill the smaller, boring, lower cost chores first before they can move up to the ones that pay them more. Kids around 5 get paid on a weekly basis.
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For older children, such as tweens or early teens, it's the same system, but she recommends paying them on a bi-weekly schedule. Older teens should be paid on a monthly schedule. This is to help them learn to budget their money and make it last the whole month and get them ready for the workforce.
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I thought it was an interesting concept.
