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Jaspers here, emergency c-section and in the NICU :( - Page 8

post #141 of 167
Thread Starter 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by livacreature View Post

So sweet!  I imagine that the monitor seems like quite the nemesis.  Mine had her hands in her mouth in all of her ultrasound shots...when she came out, you could see the suck marks on her wrists.  Now, after she nurses, those hands are back in her mouth.  We didn't get many clear face ultrasounds either (and I had a ton of ultrasounds!)

 

I sent you a friend request as well. :)



I am almost starting to find them calming...I like being able to have proof that he is doing good, and when his stats drop I stare at it and "will it with my mind" to go back up...Im going a bit loony I think lol.

 

How adorable, its so cute that they have their little quirks in the womb and then to connect them once they are out is so heartwarming.

 

Today was the first day in a bit over a week that my husband was able to go with me and he got all teary eyed when he realized Jasper was in the same position as he was in the U/S

post #142 of 167

oops...i sent it to the gmail address before you posted the yahoo one...were you still able to recieve it?

post #143 of 167

Any news yet about Jasper coming home? How did he hold up last night with his oxygen levels?

post #144 of 167
Thread Starter 

Jasper came home Thursday evening :)

 

 

 

 

we did a photo-shoot today :D

 

DSCN0539.JPG

 

 

DSCN0548.JPG

 

Thank you guys for all the well wishes and support, Im so happy to have him home.

 

The past two nights I have slept with my hand over his chest (he is in a bassinet at the side of our bed) because Im so paranoid about him and I want to feel him breathing.

 

He seems to be a bit of a fussy eater as well, he will act hunger, eat about 1 ounces, drift off and then be awake again 10-15 minutes later starving :(

 

In the NICU he was taking 3 ounces every 4 hours, sometimes they let him go 5 hours.

 

Here at home he seems to be doing 2-3 ounces every 2-3 hours...is this OK??

 

We have made two attempts at breastfeeding since he has been home, Im just not quite sure how to go about transitioning to from the bottle to the breast.

 

Yesterday we tried and failed and this afternoon we tried and he latched fine for about 2 minutes and then fell asleep only to wake back up 15 minutes later hungry so I just bottled him.

 

Breast feeding feels like such a big production because of my horrible breasts, I have to get the boppy situated, get my breast situated and the breast shield stuck on and then get him into position all one handed because if I let go of my boob the shield falls off.

 

Its so frustrating and I find myself giving up on it a lot :(

 

 

post #145 of 167

He is so beautiful!  His parents must be so proud!!!!!!!!

post #146 of 167

Some tips on breastfeeding:

 

My 1st kid was in the NICU for a week, so it was also a transition.  I urge you to stick with trying though, because later on it is so much easier than having to always bring bottles with you.

 

First, if you can find a good lactation consultant not attached to the hospital, then do it.  Mine was not too expensive, and I saw her many many times until we were doing better.

 

Now for tips:

The nipple shield can stay on you without falling off if you kind of roll it back a little, then roll it on so some of your nipple is stuck inside.  So roll it a little like you're trying to push the nipple part of the shield in a bit, then roll it onto yourself and it should stay. 

 

Don't feel like you have to try without the shield at this point, as that is a transition too, and baby is used to bottle type nipples.  Get comfortable with the shield first, then make the transition off of it.

 

Make sure you are bottle feeding for a breast-fed baby.  This means not tipping the bottle all the way up, but only horizontal to the ground so the nipple is just filled with milk.  This mimics breastfeeding more because at the breast, the baby has to do work to get milk, but at the bottle, each swallow provides enough suction to get a mouth full of milk without break.  This is actually too much for baby most times, so you need to give them a break at the bottle.  They have no ability to pause if at each swallow they get another gulp of milk in their mouth.  They swallow again so they don't choke.  Horizontal bottle and frequent breaks allow them to not gulp.  (sorry - a little wordy!)

 

Lastly, our LC had us work on his suck to make sure it was stronger or breastfeeding.  This involved using a tiny tube you taped to your finger and put the end of it in a bottle to finger-feed with.  If the bottle was held higher, our son would have to suck stronger to get the milk.  We did this several times and I think it helped.

 

The amounts you mentioned sounded good.  Baby might be used to having to do no work to get food, so he will get sleepier and fussier at the breast as he goes through this transition with you.  And it's ok.  And it's fine to go to the bottle sometimes to avoid frustration.  This whole process came with a lot of emotions for me and the LC said take small steps but keep at it.  I really encourage you to keep at it!  We finally weaned from the nipple shields after a couple months, and it was terrific.  They are a pain to wash all the time and have handy all the time.  But after those few months, we breastfed for 2 1/2 years.

 

Hopefully you find a good LC near you!  Also, a good breastfeeding resource website is www.kellymom.com.  Tons of great information!

 

 

 

post #147 of 167

I saw on your Facebook that he was home! I'm so unbelievably happy for you!!! He's absolutely gorgeous. I can't contribute on the feeding issues, but I feel you on sleeping with your hand on his chest. My DS didn't have any respiratory issues and I still get paranoid sometimes, especially at night.

post #148 of 167
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by musicmama08 View Post

 

 

Now for tips:

The nipple shield can stay on you without falling off if you kind of roll it back a little, then roll it on so some of your nipple is stuck inside.  So roll it a little like you're trying to push the nipple part of the shield in a bit, then roll it onto yourself and it should stay. 

 

 

The issue with this is that my nipple is so low on my breast that if I dont hold it up my nipple hits the pillow which then pulls the shield off...yeah, my boobs suck :(

 

Don't feel like you have to try without the shield at this point, as that is a transition too, and baby is used to bottle type nipples.  Get comfortable with the shield first, then make the transition off of it.

 

Im trying to take my time with things so that neither of us gets frustrated (I get impatient with myself) and I have been feeling guilty about that, so this is good to hear :)

 

Make sure you are bottle feeding for a breast-fed baby.  This means not tipping the bottle all the way up, but only horizontal to the ground so the nipple is just filled with milk.  This mimics breastfeeding more because at the breast, the baby has to do work to get milk, but at the bottle, each swallow provides enough suction to get a mouth full of milk without break.  This is actually too much for baby most times, so you need to give them a break at the bottle.  They have no ability to pause if at each swallow they get another gulp of milk in their mouth.  They swallow again so they don't choke.  Horizontal bottle and frequent breaks allow them to not gulp.  (sorry - a little wordy!)

 

I actually bought some bottles called "breastflow bottles" they have a double walled nipple that simulates let down and require compression to work, Im hoping this will keep things smooth as we try to transition.

 

 

 

 

The amounts you mentioned sounded good.  Baby might be used to having to do no work to get food, so he will get sleepier and fussier at the breast as he goes through this transition with you.  And it's ok.  And it's fine to go to the bottle sometimes to avoid frustration.  This whole process came with a lot of emotions for me and the LC said take small steps but keep at it.  I really encourage you to keep at it!  We finally weaned from the nipple shields after a couple months, and it was terrific.  They are a pain to wash all the time and have handy all the time.  But after those few months, we breastfed for 2 1/2 years.

 

 

 

Hopefully you find a good LC near you!  Also, a good breastfeeding resource website is www.kellymom.com.  Tons of great information!

 

Im not going to give up, Im a stubborn bitch and NOTHING else has gone my way, no way am I backing down on breastfeeding....I knew my boobs would cause issues, I just did not anticipate the whole NICU stay on top of that, he is so used to the bottle now :(

 

Thank you so much for all the tips, I really appreciate it!

 

 

 



 

post #149 of 167

I am thrilled to come on here and see this update! Welcome home Jasper.

post #150 of 167
Not safe anymore
Edited by Veronika01 - 11/4/11 at 12:22am
post #151 of 167
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronika01 View Post

Sweetie, don't get hung up on your boobs. Your boobs are fine. How do I know? Because I have the same boobs. They are large and floppy and they point south all the way. They need to be held with one hand or they suffocate my poor baby.

nak

 

Same here! And I'm on my third breastfed baby. You can do it too!

post #152 of 167
Thread Starter 

Im trying, and I appreciate all the encouragement so much.

 

Im just so terrified of how frustrated we both get, he gets mad that he is hungry and I get mad that my body is not doing what its supossed to and then I end up giving up.

 

What more is I lost my nipple shield (seriously, they are soooo hard to see!!) and no cash to get a new one for a few more days, breastfeeding without one is freaking impossible it would seem.

 

I tried today for 5 minutes and ended up in a sobbing fit and had to hand Jasper to my husband for a bottle.

 

I hate my body so much.

 

Jasper has been a grouchy baby last night and today, I thought it was gas but now Im not sure.

 

He is eating every hour to hour and a half and only about an ounce to two ounces at a time and he wont let me put him down :(

 

I was up with him last night from midnight until 7am when my husband got home from work and took him from me and let me nap for a few hours.

 

Im am praying that does not happen again tonight.

post #153 of 167
Thread Starter 

Ok, seriously...Im going FUCKING INSANE!!

 

This kid is inconsolable and I dont know what to do.

 

He went from eating 4 ounces every 4-5 hours in the NICU to wanting to eat every 45 mins-1 1/2 hours during the day and eating MAYBE an ounce at a time before falling asleep/refusing the bottle.

 

Night time is a little better, he will go 2 hours.

 

But the problem is because of this I do not have time to pump for a solid 15-20 minutes and my supply is taking a fucking nose dive...I finally cracked last night, I fed him, laid him down and as soon as I got the pump going he started screaming.

 

I didnt know what else to do so I closed the door and let him cry....while I cried on the pump for 20 minutes.

 

I felt so awful, he fell asleep after about a minute or two of solid wailing.

 

Im so fucking horrible.

post #154 of 167

OK, Dragonfly, a little tough love here. You have to give yourself a break. This self-flagellation serves no purpose.

 

You are NOT horrible. Letting your baby cry for a few minutes while you get something else done (be that pumping, going to the bathroom, tending to another child, or getting yourself something to eat and drink) is totally OK. And in your case, for goodness' sake, he fell asleep after a minute or two! He was clearly tired and didn't know how to get to sleep.

 

FYI, after a very fussy morning, I let my baby cry in our hotel room when I absolutely had to get packed to leave, and the same thing happened. After trying unsuccessfully to get him to sleep for an hour and a half, when I finally let him cry for a minute or two, he fell asleep and slept soundly until we got to the airport.

 

You are doing a GREAT job. You are putting in tons of effort to care for Jasper. But you are not superwoman. You can't be in three places at once. You need sleep. Taking care of Jasper includes protecting your mental health. You need to be able to do your best, and then let the rest go. Accepting one's own imperfection is a fundamental part of parenting.

post #155 of 167

hug2.gif

 

You're not horrible.  You have a lot on your plate right now.  Is there any way you can get more help? 

post #156 of 167

nak

 

Ditto what ~pi said. Listen to her, honey, she's right.

I think the continual need to be latched on is Jasper's way to build up his trust in you and his bond with you. It's deathly tiring, I know... but it serves a purpose. He needs some time to get attached.

Walking away for a few minutes is perfectly okay, and sometimes it is vital in order to preserve your sanity.

post #157 of 167
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snugglebugmom View Post

nak

 

Ditto what ~pi said. Listen to her, honey, she's right.

I think the continual need to be latched on is Jasper's way to build up his trust in you and his bond with you. It's deathly tiring, I know... but it serves a purpose. He needs some time to get attached.

Walking away for a few minutes is perfectly okay, and sometimes it is vital in order to preserve your sanity.



We actually have not really breastfed since being home, I tried twice, two days in a row and then kind of...well...I gave up...its so stressful.

 

Then my husband lost my nipple shield in the disposal so Im waiting on a new one to come in the mail before we try again.

 

I have however found something that helps console him when he is fussy/gassy.

 

When I was pregnant I used to lay my cellphone on my tummy and play music, It just occured to me last night to try playing some of the songs for him and he totally reacted to it!!

post #158 of 167

yes to what others are saying. sometimes babies are crying. you are alone with him and have to do other things. I've got 3 kids... when I'm alone with them, seriously sometimes it feels like at least one of the three kids is crying at any given moment. I mean, most of the time its not like that, but there have been some days... and the little one is only a week old, so I imagine there will be many more of these to come. With both my older kids, there were periods of their lives where they just screamed as I made dinner or took a shower or something else that really, I needed to do. I remember having my daughter in the moby while she screamed bloody murder, and I sobbed, making dinner for my 4yo son. Not my greatest moments as a mom, for sure, but it passed, and everyone survived.

 

As for the constant nursing- any chance its a growth spurt? They typically have them at 5 days, 2 weeks, etc. Day or two of really increased nursing. And true, he may also just really be needing to bond and connect with you right now.

 

And if there is any help on offer (friends? family?) just accept it. Whatever it is. Even just some sympathetic company.

post #159 of 167
Thread Starter 

Thank you guys for everything, I feel so bad that I broke down like that but the lack of sleep was really starting to take its toll on me.

 

 

The past few nights have really improved, he has started going 3-4 hours at night and Im able to pump and then do a dream feed most times.

 

 

We have been starting to get on each others schedules again and its nice, Im thinking it was a growth spurt because he has changed so quick.

 

Still no luck with breastfeeding, I got another breast shield from WIC though and I need to get my butt in gear and start working on it...Im just so unsure as to how to go about it.

 

Do I try before or after pumping?

 

Here...have a "Im a horrible mom" picture :

 

 

Diabetus.jpg

Husband says he looks like the Pringles guy...but I think he is channeling Wildred Brimley...you know..the "Diabetus testing supply" guy :D

post #160 of 167

Dragonfly, you sound so much better. I'm so, so glad things are starting to improve a little for you.

 

I love the 'stache shot, too. Just in time for Movember. :-)

 

As for breastfeeding, when we were weaning DS1 off supplements and the SNS, I had the best luck breastfeeding him when he was hungry but not yet upset about it. This seemed to happen most often when he was sleeping. It was exhausting and felt at the time like it was never going to end, but looking back, it really didn't take that long (a couple of weeks.) If you don't have easy access to an LC, try calling your local LLL leaders. They can be really great help, and they are volunteers so it won't cost anything.

 

ETA: The routine recommended for me was breastfeed, then pump.


Edited by ~pi - 11/6/11 at 8:58am
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