weekly chat Oct 10-17 - Page 3

[justKate]

Hmm, loratadine.  Will have to look in to that.  Otherwise I'm only going to be useful for the first two hours of the day for the next two months. 

And that's true, about the maternity clothes--if you're planning more babies after this one, its easier to rationalize maternity clothes.  I'm planning to sell whatever I have after this pg, since it will likely be my last.  I can't believe how much harder this pg has been on me, and it's only 3 years later!  And I'm only 30!  I mean, "only" 30--realistically, I'm half way through my reproductive life, I guess, but I don't feel older now than I did at 27.  I'm going to avoid buying anything else clothing-wise until the holidays, when I'll probably need a special occasion dress, but that's about it. Oh, and a support band probably around 25 weeks.  And some winter boots.  But I swear that's it!

[chiromama01]

ok, so today was a tough day.  any other mama's with toddlers find themselves working with a short fuse??? My daughter (2 1/2) has a terrible habit of repeating "mama" incessently (sp?) like 100 times in a row it feels like.... today we went to the store together, for 30 minutes, and by the time we left I was nearly in tears.  she refused to sit in the basket, and when instructed to "walk by mommy" she said "ok," then proceeded to run around the store like a maniac.  I was so frazzled by the time we left.  She's also in a habit of making LOTS of noise, and the term "inside voice" seems to mean nothing to her!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

ok, thanks, i feel a little better.  I hope your thursdays have all been well!  Here's hoping for an 8pm bedtime for DD and a little r&r for mom...

[flavorfull1]

Um yes, today was a ridiculously hard toddler day for me as well. I just got DS down in bed and I am exhausted.  Lots of mama repeated over and over even when I am answering yes or asking what.  He was just moody today which is fine except I started out tired and needing an easier day. Ugh, we made it to bed time, yay.

[hazelbranch]

I have been finding life with my toddler quite difficult of late also.  My fuse has been shorter than usual, and she continues to be a wild and very physical child.  I find it challenging to handle her need to jump and climb, especially when I'm the focus of those activities.  What I wouldn't give for a backyard these days.  And tomorrow is due to be another rainy day.... bah!

[RosieL]

Sorry your toddlers are being a bit trying for you mamas. I have no idea what it's like to live with and care for a toddler, but I guess I will in a few years. 

My cousin started induction at midnight last night and is headed in to the hospital now. She had really horrible, massive PPH last time and was extremely near death (bags and bags of bloog and BP dropped to near zero), so there's a bit of family breath-holding right now as she goes in to deliver her little girl. She's the first of my generation in this fam to have a babies, and the next two are on our way (her SIL and me). As a whole big extended family we are all SO excited to be adding a new generation. :) Anyway, if you pray, I wouldn't mind an extra prayer for my cousin today. Chances are all will be perfectly well, but we'll all be on edge until babygirl is here and momma is safe and sound.

[kaismum]

Week 12 over here! I am happy to be leaving the first trimester behind next week. I have been feeling really good other than being super tired, but it helps me to feel like I am out of the woods somewhat. 

I hear you ladies on the short fuse. My son is not a toddler, but a pretty precocious, energetic preschooler. I have had to really make sure that I am checking my tone and taking deep breaths to avoid snapping at him for him just being himself. He is a noise maker. Constant talking and otherwise vocalizing. Which is totally fine normally and I usually actually think it is pretty entertaining. Except for the last few weeks when I just wish that he would be quiet for a little while. It makes me feel really horrible. I am trying to focus my energy on enjoying him but it is challenging for sure. The great thing about him being older though is that I can sneak in a little bit of a nap on the sofa even on days that my husband is at work if I set him up with an activity or put on a favorite show or computer game.

We are meeting with the two midwife practices that we are considering using next week. So hopefully we will have a midwife chosen by late next week which will be great. I have a feeling about who we will end up with but definitely would like to talk to them and have my husband meet them. I think that although he is supportive about having a homebirth he does have some reservations and I think meeting the midwives and talking to them will help him over the hump and bring everything together for him. Although he says that he prefers to avoid a hospital birth, I think the idea of not being in the hospital leaves him a little nervous. We have watched both Pregnant in America and The Business of Being Born together quite awhile and discussed that a lot of the problems that cropped up during my son's birth had to do with what was done to us not from the birth process itself. I know from those discussions that he is there intellectually, I think he maybe just needs his emotions to catch up. He is definitely the worrying kind.

Rosie, I will be thinking of your cousin. It must be really nerve wracking for your family to be waiting to find out how things come out. 

[zuzusplace]

kaismum, my husband was the same way about homebirth. I think even when the time came for the birth he was not completely on board (so worried something would go wrong and we couldn't get help in time, even though he'd researched and knew the benefits of homebirth and risks of hospital birth). Then I hemorrhaged...it was like his worst nightmare come true. The midwives were so calm and prepared though, and knew exactly what to do to take care of me and stop the bleeding, that this time around he not only was all for the homebirth, I don't think he'd accept it any other way. That and the bonding and comfort that followed the birth itself was so different at home. He really felt my comfort, and I think he too was able to connect with our daughter better in our own space. So different from the hospital births in which there was induction, pain killers, threats of c-section due to lack of progress, and inability to move (or even feel comfortable talking together). I'm sure if your husband has any hesitations before the birth, he certainly won't after.

[Christy1980]

Short Fuse - YES!!  My poor DD is 7, and she is a chatterbox, which is really annoying me, plus she seems to refuse to get her shoes on/brush her hair/etc to do what needs to be done to get ready in the morning for school, and she has to make noise, all the time.  Repetitive, constant noise.  She refuses to clean her room, and whines when it's brought up.  I've been really short w/ her and I feel bad but dang it, do what I said!!

[dealic]

I had to break down and go maternity pants shopping today. I had been delaying, hoping to make it to when we are in the states next week, but it became clear I wasn't going to make it that long. All week I have been uncomfortable in my pants and the last thing I need is tightness around my stomach right now. I've only just started to get the morning sickness under control as it is. Well I found 2 great pairs. One was on clearance, the other on sale. Still pricier than I normally like but its my first pregnancy and I hope to reuse them. I tried all second hand stores here and only one even HAD maternity clothes, but not a single thing in my size. With 2 pairs of pants though, I am golden for a while. The lady was super helpful and made sure they fit properly and I got to try on the fake belly and imagine I was farther along, and it was great. Its awesome, I hit 14 weeks and my energy shot up, so I feel like a new woman.

I also made a lot of starter plans for what we will be doing after the baby is born and my husband graduates college in April. We plan to move, and I want to move closer to my parents, both for the support and because the area is very affordable. We worked out a possible timeline for this, having us give notice for our place here to move June 1st, and having my husband take parental leave starting my due date and ending after the move, while trying to get a transfer to the area we move for after. Once there, he can work on finding a better job, but this will work for the year I get paid maternity leave. Basically, in this area we could just about live on what I will get for mat leave, so if he even worked part time minimum wage, we'd be golden. Plus it means we could pack and move most stuff to my parents' house before the baby comes, leaving only essentials, then I could pack up baby and baby stuff, and stay with my mom while my husband (and dad if he's not working) can move us. Then after, if it takes us some time to set up, its ok since we can stay with her, or pop there for meals or whatever, until we do. I know moving with a baby won't be great, but moving 8 or 9 months pregnant appealed less to me since I'd lose my fabulous midwifery care, so I think this is better timing for us.

I am so so glad that I am feeling better now. I just have this urge to DO stuff, stuff I couldn't do the last few months. I want to be productive. Clean our house, organize, declutter. Its wonderful since I leave in a week for the States. I will have a great trip if I can keep feeling this good :) 2 weeks ago, I was too sick and tired to even bother posting here for the most part. Its amazing what a few weeks can do.

[justKate]

dealic, glad you're feeling better!  Hopefully you'll get lots of use out of your pants and it will feel worth it.  And if you want more of the same, you can look on ebay since you know what size to buy now.  I got 2 Motherhood shirts for like $9 (shipped), just by looking regularly.

As for moving, it sucks with or without a baby.  DH is military so we do it a lot. We moved when DD was 6 months, and again when DD was 2 yr 3 mos.  Moving with an infant was much easier, because she wasn't in to everything.  And I didn't have to worry about eating on a schedule and having healthy snacks--just boobies.  Hopefully it will be an easy move for you.

chiromama, when was your DD born? My DD was a Feb. '09 baby, and she definitely tests my patience more these days.  Its really hard for me to take a deep breath and think before responding, but I'm trying hard.  I have to keep reminding myself that she's doing it at her pace, and that it's hard to resists X or Y...  She's going to "pre-school" 3 hours/day on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and those days are awesome because she sleeps so well for nap and that night on those days.  I guess she needs more outdoor activity, but I think there's more going on at school, and the stimulation is what really gets her worn out.  Hopefully we can continue sending her after this baby is born.

I love the idea of a home birth, and will probably have one if we have a 3rd child down the road.  DH (and I) were pretty traumatized by DD's birth, so I think a successful VBAC this time will be a great step towards eventually having a homebirth.  It just sucks because I know, statistically, my chances of VBACing are probably higher with a home birth.  And there are no birth centers within driving distance. Ah well.

Rosie, hope your cousin is snuggled in with her new baby now.  Let us know how it went. 

TBH, DD's twos have been easier than her first two years were.  I don't think that's normal though.  She was an awful baby.  I mean really awful--miserable all the time, never slept, screamed constantly, reflux, bowel issues, couldn't be consoled, was NEVER affectionate or cuddly, wouldn't look at you...we really thought something was wrong, but by 2 years she became a "normal" kid.  Still very high needs, but completely different.  So you really never know what you're going to get.  Even trying-to-be-perfect AP mamas are blessed with challenges!  On the bright side, I feel prepared for anything this new baby might bring.

Finally took another belly pic last night, so I'm heading over to post it!

[dealic]

Originally Posted by justKate 

dealic, glad you're feeling better!  Hopefully you'll get lots of use out of your pants and it will feel worth it.  And if you want more of the same, you can look on ebay since you know what size to buy now.  I got 2 Motherhood shirts for like $9 (shipped), just by looking regularly.

As for moving, it sucks with or without a baby.  DH is military so we do it a lot. We moved when DD was 6 months, and again when DD was 2 yr 3 mos.  Moving with an infant was much easier, because she wasn't in to everything.  And I didn't have to worry about eating on a schedule and having healthy snacks--just boobies.  Hopefully it will be an easy move for you.

Thanks, I am glad about it too. Ebay is hard because shipping to Canada is pricy and there is duty, which is why I usually don't use it. I've been watching kijiji for deals, and may pick up some stuff there.

That was my thought about moving too. I know my mother moved cross Canada with a 3 year old (me) and a 6 week old, and she said its amazing what you can do when you have to. Plus since I can just go to my parents house and hang out while my husband does the work, it should be ok I think. I've moved a lot over the last few years, and my husband moved, first to Canada, then into our apartment here, so we are getting quite efficient at it.

[NicMom]

HEADACHES!  I feel you.  I never got headaches before this pregnancy.  If I had a mild one, I would drink a glass of water and it would go away.  I had a horrible one all day yesterday.  While lying down it was tolerable but as soon as I stood up or god forbid, bend over, it would throb uncontrollably.  I guess all this blood flow is doing a number on my head.  I woke up at 6 this morning with it still there so went back to sleep and slept until 8.  I was late for work but at least the headache went away.

[Thursday Girl]

annoying kids-short tempered mom?? I have 3 and they take turns. mostly though I get annoyed with my 2 1/2 year old always wanting to nurse. every latch on is painful. but it gets better through the nursing. I WOULD like my big girls to stop screaming in the house though!

My HUbas wasn't for a homebirth originally. we did a hospital the first time and that sucked, then we did a birht center b/c I couldn't sell him on homebirth. He thought it was SO MUCH BETTER then the hospital. He told all his friends to "go to the birth center, don't go to the hospital, the hospital is terrible" then he went into all the birth center selling points. These are guys who STILL haven't had kids. Then finally I was bale to talk him into the home birth, same thing, he thought it was so much better and told these guys to have a home birth...and again they stilla ren't close to having kids. so we, of course, are havign a home birth again.

Dealic- A YEAR paid maternity leave??!!! that's awesome! as for moving, good luck it osunds very well planned out, and I am quite impressed.

so who's libido is through the roof? I love the 2nd trimester for this reason. something totally sexy about grabbing dh and knowing we made this kid together, plus you know the dreams and just the drive are increased.

[dealic]

Originally Posted by Thursday Girl 

Dealic- A YEAR paid maternity leave??!!! that's awesome! as for moving, good luck it osunds very well planned out, and I am quite impressed.

Well its paid at 55% of my income, but after taxes, union dues, and retirement contributions, I lose 1/3 now, so in the end, my take home pay will only be $400 less a month than now. I love Canada for this. That and the regulated and funded midwifery care that means I receive wonderful care whether I choose a hospital or homebirth, and its entirely free I am so spoiled here.

And yes, I tend to be very prepared for things. I am a great planner: I love it. I plan all my family's trips too because they know they will see the most interesting things, with the best tours, and for the best prices if I do. Planning a move is like a game to me, and already I am biting at the bit to get packing and working on it.

[chiromama01]

thanks for all the support mama's! now i don't feel so guilty about being short tempered.  I do find myself taking a LOT of deep breaths!! JustKate my DD was born Jan 09!  So they're really close in age. 

deliac-- wow, it sounds like you have quite the year coming up!  good luck with everything!  Moving does stink either way, I moved right after dd was born and then again when she was a toddler.  didn't care for either move, but we ended up just a few streets away from my parents so it was worth it in the end!  I know you'll enjoy all the extra support of being near family!

RosieL please let us know how your cousin is doing!! Hopefully she's basking in the glow of being a new mommy again and recovering nicely!  I'll be thinking of her!

yet another trying day over here... I am completely ok with taking dd outside, to the park, to the lakefront, etc all in an effort to tire her out, (we did ALL of the those today!), but at the end of 5 solid hours outside, i expect her to take and EPIC nap.  No such luck. She slept 45 minutes and wanted to go out to play with friends.  Again, i was near tears!!!!!  At least the weather was nice so i could enjoy being outside! Phew...I hope tomorrow is easier!!!!!!   I wouldn't trade her for the world but oh my goodnessssssssss!!!!!!

[Jessimaca]

Wow, Dealic, that makes me want to move to Canada even more .  I will be scrambling to cover my 3 months off without going broke.  We get nothing where I am.  I'm with ya on the energy thing-- I finally feel like I can accomplish something!  For the last 3 months I've barely functioned.  Basically working and laying on the couch.  So grateful for that part to be over!

I'm with all of you on the short fuse thing.  I definitely notice it!  It kind of reminds me of when I have PMS-- it's just like my patience is nill.  I'm trying not to snap at anyone as much as I can!

[RosieL]

Thanks for your thoughts for my cuz, ladies! She birthed a 8lb2oz baby girl last night and the update I have is that "mom and baby are happily resting" so I assume all went well. I can't wait for more details and updates. :)

[kaismum]

Rosie - That is great news!

[Thursday Girl]

chiromom, I was thinking the same thing about your babe. my 2 1/2 year old is 2-8-09. JustKate and I were in a ddc together last time.

I got to go to the LLL conference yesterday and I got 2 sessions with Barbra Coloroso which was fabulous! It's one thign to read her books, but listening really helps drive it home.