School deadline is 10/1, DDs bday is 9/24...wwyd?

[ellairiesmom]

If your DCs bday was less than 1 week before the deadline, what things would you look at over the next 6 months to decide whether to enroll in K for next year?  What other factors would you take into consideration unrelated to your DC, if any?  Like, if waiting the extra year bought you another year to save for a house in a good public school district & kept your DC out of the crappy public school for K next year, would that matter?  Would you consider waiting so that siblings could be closer in school years?  Or would it only come down to whether or not DC was ready?  And what if you weren't sure when it came time to register?  

I am a 9/30 bday & started K at 4.  I believe that in middle school, I was less mature than the other girls & it may have impacted my social skills slightly, although I was popular, very involved & had lots of friends.  Other aspects that stunk were I couldn't drive until a month into my Senior year & in college, I couldn't go out with my peers until a month into my Senior year.  (superficial concerns but they were reality for me at the time)  

DD has completed 1 year of 2 day a week preschool & is now in her 2nd year of PS & is attending 3 days/week.  They go 9am to 1pm.  She loves it & would love to go 5 days but for now, we don't want to pay the extra $.  She is writing her 1st & last name, is very social, loves to color/draw, talk etc.  She is still struggling with being quiet when it's time for someone else to talk and stuff like sharing...pretty age appropriate stuff.  

We are moving in 3 weeks & the Preschool I want to enroll her in has a 3 year old program, a 4 year old program and then their own K program.  Ideally, she will be there for K since we will be renting in a crappy, failing school district for 2-4 years & I do not want her to attend that public school if I can avoid it.  She just turned 4.  I can't decide if I should have her go into the 4 program now and repeat, then do K.  Or do 4 then K.  Or do 3, then 4, then K.

[TiredX2]

It actually sounds like you are in a really good position moving to a preschool that also offers Kindergarten.  In that situation, I would definately send DC to kinder "on time" with the knowledge that the following year you could send her either to K or 1 at her new school (depending on what seems best at the time).

Is there any chance you will be moving out of your current state?  In many states, the cut-off would be earlier so she wouldn't qualify (age-wise) for kinder next year anyway (here the cut-off is 8/31).

[pianojazzgirl]

My dd's b-day is Sept 16 and the cutoff here is Oct 1.  So she's the youngest in her class and only makes the cutoff by 2wks.

My take on it is that I would enroll her in the class she's supposed to be in (ie. not hold her back a year) unless I had serious concerns that she wouldn't be able to cope.  If she was giving signs of being significantly behind her peers at preschool, for example. 

In our case I am very glad we did not hold dd back a year.  2nd grade is a perfect fit for her (she just turned 7).  She does well in school, but is challenged, and to date hasn't had any social problems.

I was the youngest in my class after skipping grade 4.  I didn't feel like it impacted me in a negative way.  My biggest problem (in my young mind!) was that I didn't get my period or need a bra till high school.  But that was just me being a late developer.  My best friend (one of the oldest in our class) had the same problem.  The range of "normal" for entering puberty is so big that being youngest or oldest in the class is no guarantee of anything.  As for once I was a (developed, lol) teenager, I had the same freedoms as my classmates.  I guess my parents saw me as being a "grade 11" (or whatever) and treated me accordingly.  Not so far as to let me drive a car before I was legally old enough, but in every other respect.

[ellairiesmom]

Thx for the feedback Mamas.  We will be remaining in the same state, just one town over or so.  We aren't sure how long before we can buy & I think it's safe to assume we might be in the bad school district in 2 years still.  

I guess the biggest thing is to of course see how she does over the next few months with the move & switching to a new school.  I will have to see how things go.  

And it is good that this school has the Pre & K program.

[Peony]

DD2 barely misses the cutoff here, also Oct 1st. We attend a small private school with a preschool. We had the option of keeping her in preschool this year or sending her on to K and having her do it for 2 years. Oddly enough there were 3 of them in the preschool last year, all big girls who had birthday the same week in oct. The other two elected to go on and do 2 years of K, I kept DD2 in preschool. I freaked out right before school and tried to get her into K (they changed teachers on me a week before school started) but they were full.

Eh. I'm still not sure how I feel about everything. She has been enjoying being the big kid in PK, bossing the other kids around... She still enjoys doing all the drawing, and fun things they do in PK. She gets to work on letters and numbers while the younger kids are sleeping, she is starting to recognize sight words. The PK teacher is thinking of sending her over to the K room for reading now. I also think she gets bored. She is actually sitting home with me right now when she would normally go to school today because she freaked out over rest time today. She has to lay there and be quiet for 30 minutes until the other kids fall asleep (state day for full day preschool) and then she can get up. She HATES that time of day and I can't pick up at half day, 4 kids and too much time in the car already. But then to have been one of the youngest in K... I don't know. There are boys that were 6 before school started and then she would of been 4. 

I do have to say that I was thrilled the decision for long term wasn't mine to make because she did miss the cut off.I didn't want her to forever be the youngest. I also made the cut of by a week, was the youngest in my grade always. I just always felt one step behind everyone. And I do blame a lot of my troubles in high school on emotionally immaturity. Being barely 14 and in school with 18 year olds, that was a recipe for trouble for me! Good luck. It is a hard decision with no clear cut right or wrong answer. I don't envy you. 

[mar123]

My youngest DD, was born on September 25th (I was due October 3rd), and since she was breech and I had already had 2 sections, I got to pick the date. I wanted a September birthday for her; Our deadline is also October 1, and I wanted it to be my decision whether or not she started school- not have her miss the deadline by 1 or 2 days. Anyway, she started on time and has done incredibly well. First of all, girls typically do well if they are younger in the class as opposed to boys. Also, she was my third child, so she is more socially and academically advanced simply because she learns from her brother and sister(I had 3 in 5 years, so they do lots of things together). Those are things to consider. She is now 11, still the youngest in her class and also the tallest, makes straight As, behaves in class, etc. I shudder to think how bored and out of place she would have been had I held her back.

The school all my children have attended is more than willing to start kids in a higher grade level and move them down if need be. I know a few parents who have elected to do this- starting in K and moving to Pre-K a few weeks in. This can be a great option as opposed to committing to an entire year and having it be a rough one, potentially souring the child on school as a whole. Maybe talk to the school and see if they would be willing to do this.

[NZJMama]

My son is Sept 16 and the cutoff is Oct. 1. We waited and so far I have no regrets.

[fpc89099]

Would you like an opinion from an adult who has been through school with a September birthday?

My birthday is 9/29/1982. The kindergarten cut-off was changed sometime in the 80s from the old 12/31 cut-off to 9/30. I would have squeaked by with only 1 day to spare.

My parents ended up making very good decisions for me academically. Our disctrict offered full-day pre-K at the public school I attended. I went to private preschool, then went to public pre-K at age 4 (school started at the beginning of Sept. 1987 and I turned 5 only 1 month into the school year). The following year, at age 5 yrs, 11 mos, I started Kindergarten.

My parents chose to hold me back for a few reasons- I was immature for my age and needed the extra time to catch up, I had been a low birth weight baby and was still small/thin at age 5, and they didn't want me to be the youngest child in the class.

I agree with my parents decision and, even as a kid, I was always happy with the way they went about delaying my Kindergarten entry. I wasn't officially held back. I was in preschool from ages 2-4, like normal kids are. I started pre-k at age 4, just like my peers. If I had acceled in pre-K, I would have been allowed to start 1st grade the following year. Pre-K just allowed for an extra year to see if I was ready.

I always started and ended the school year at the "correct" age (even though I was only 5 for 3 weeks into K) and never repeated a grade. As a child, that made a BIG difference to me. Instead of putting me in Kindergarten at age 4 and having me repeat the grade, I never had the stigma of being a grade-failer. It worked out very well for me. I eventually caught up maturity-wise. I still never caught up size-wise. I was a small/thin child and am still a small/thin adult. In elementary school, no one would have guessed that I was the oldest in my class. I had younger peers who were physically much bigger.

I'm not saying that kids who have birthdays close to the cut-off should automatically be held back. It was the correct path for me, but each child is different. My point is that if you feel that your child is not going to be ready for Kindergarten, then it's better to allow her to feel like she has progressed from one level to the next, without having to repeat the same class. If her preschool has a Kindergarten program, it might be better to keep her in that school for Kindergarten. That way, she can either move on to 1st grade the next year, or, if she isn't ready for first grade, she can go to public school Kindergarten and still move on to a different class/different program. Even though it would technically be 2 years of Kindergarten, she would still feel like she had moved up from her old preschool and the cirriculum wouldn't be the exact same one she had just finished. When you're a little kid, that matters a lot. I knew other kids who had to repeat Kindergarten with the same teacher and it made them feel dumb and some had a negative opinion of themselves all through school- feeling as if they should always be a year above where they were.

[shesaidboom]

I'm sorry for changing the subject, but I was curious about the Kindergarten years where you are. Here there are two years of Kindergarten (junior and senior) and the cut-off is 12/31. Kids start when they're 4 (some are still 3) and then they begin grade 1 when they are 6. Is Pre-K basically like Junior Kindergarten rather than pre-school, and then there is only one year of Kindergarten? I feel like it's different in every country. Thanks for your clarification!

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by fpc89099 

Would you like an opinion from an adult who has been through school with a September birthday?

My birthday is 9/29/1982. The kindergarten cut-off was changed sometime in the 80s from the old 12/31 cut-off to 9/30. I would have squeaked by with only 1 day to spare.

My parents ended up making very good decisions for me academically. Our disctrict offered full-day pre-K at the public school I attended. I went to private preschool, then went to public pre-K at age 4 (school started at the beginning of Sept. 1987 and I turned 5 only 1 month into the school year). The following year, at age 5 yrs, 11 mos, I started Kindergarten.

I can also give the opinion of an adult in the same spot as fpc89099 but on the other side of the coin.  I started K at 4 yrs 11 months and I also never repeated a grade.  In fact, I was in honors/GATE/AP classes throughout and went to UC Berkeley as an undergrad.  I don't know how being the oldest would have worked for me as the pp doesn't know how being the youngest would have worked for her b/c we each only got to do our schooling lives once as we all do ;) .  I never felt a step behind or younger than my grade peers.

I think that it is very individual.  Both of my girls have cusp bds here as well very close to mine.  Dd13 made the cut by 2 weeks and dd11 by three days.  Both started "on time."  I must admit that my experience influenced my decision as much as I tried to keep it out.  The other thing that influenced me when dd11 was of K age was this article by the NAEYC: http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/Publications/ArticleExamples/RinRDelayingKEntry.pdf

To be fair, I do know kids for whom being the oldest has worked fine and I imagine that it is pretty kid specific, but if you have no specific concerns regarding your daughter beyond that she'll be younger, I'd lean toward starting her.  My girls are going into 7th grade (my 11 y/o -- she'll be 12 in the fall) and 10th (my 13 y/o who will be 14 in about two months; she skipped 5th as well so she's kind of a special circumstance and one for whom I can confidently say that waiting a year would have been a huge mistake).  We have a reasonably long term perspective on this as such and I believe that both of my girls would say that they feel fine with their grade placement.  My 11 y/o has, at times, been bothered by being much smaller than her grade peers, but she is a very small person and that would be the case for her even if she were a grade behind her current placement.

eta: I don't know if it is important, but I should mention that our state has a weird issue where each district can choose their own cut offs but 10/1 is as late as the state will fund, so none are later than 10/1.  Our local district had a 9/15 cut when dd13 started, which is what she made by 2 weeks.  They changed it to 10/1 the year dd11 started.  Her bd is a few days after you dd's so she would not have made the 9/15 cut, but she did make the 10/1 cut.

Edited by ChristaN - 7/11/12 at 6:54am

[JudiAU]

If our area is any indication, most people would wait. All of the issues you mentioned are important. I'd also seriously consider if she has a strong academic background or not (how are her letters/numbers/writing does she have pre-reading skills) and how she interacts with her skills. (Note that my kids go to a very non-academic preschool and that is what I prefer. But as DS prepares for K in the fall I am looking closely at the skills he has developed anyway.)

It can both help and harm kids to send them forth/keep them back and I don't think there is a right answer. I'd probably choose K in the preschool and then reevaulate at the end of the year.

[missnoodlesmom]

Red-shirting is such a common practice here....it is to the point that I'm considering holding back my May 29 kiddo (with a August 31 cut off).  My husband is so set on holding him back but I'm not sure - I want to wait because we still have a year to consider it.

My daughter (rising K) has a Sept birthday so she will essentially be 6 in Kindergarten.  She's so academically driven and I kind of wish that she had the May birthday and my son had the Sept birthday - it wouldn't need to be a consideration, then!  What I worry about for my son is that he kind of has the proverbial "ants in his pants".  He's silly and gets carried away and doesn't always care so much about academic activities.  He's getting there (at times), so that's why my husband thinks another year would help him out.  I just wonder if it's his personality and it's not something he's going to grow out of.  He has so much about him that's fun and delightful - not everyone has to be valedictorian.  KWIM?
 

[lauren]

It might make sense to find out what most parents in your area do---if most people wait and the k-garten classes tend to be older, then wait. If most people send kids as soon as they are eligible it might make sense to send your child.
 

[mar123]

I lived this scenario- my youngest dd has a 9/25 birthday and the cutoff is 10/1. Acutally, her EDD was 10/2 and since she was my third section, I told the doc I wanted her birthday in September because I wanted it to be my choice, not some random missed it by one date.

I am also an education major and we studied this A LOT in our courses. The prevailing theory is girls, let them start; boys, hold them back.

My dd is the youngest of three; we started her in pre-k (3) according to the cutoff- so she was two when she started. I told the teacher I would gladly let her repeat pre-K (3) if she needed to. She didnt! Now she is 11 and going in to seventh grade. She is 5'3, taller than everyone else, makes straight As without a ton of effort (unlike her siblings), is emotionally mature beyond her years, and just started her period this summer. I shudder to think how out of place she would be had I held her back. I think every child is different and you really need to start her on time and see what happens. I don't think there is one right way for every kid. Don't let what everyone else does decide it for you. Look at your child. Look at how she interacts with others. I do think it makes a difference whether the child is the oldest or not. Good luck!

[dbsam]

I would take into consideration the norm in your area.

In our area, most people tend to hold back.  I didn't and sort of regret it. 

My children's birthday is 06.24 (due date of 08.25) with an August 1st cutoff for school.  I was told they were ready and they have been doing fine.  But they do not like always being the youngest in class.  I also think they w/h had more confidence if they were a little older; partly because the other children were so much older and partly because my children were not exposed to many of the things the other children were.  When my children left first grade they were 6...some children had already turned 8!  (My children just turned 8 and are going into third grade.)  I underestimated how many people hold their children back in our area.

My children are now in a Montessori school with a mixed age class so it is less of an issue.  Their school goes to sixth grade.  They have asked to be held back and do sixth grade twice because they do not want to be the youngest when they switch to the public school (and because they do not want to leave Montessori.).  We'll see how they feel when the time comes; we have a few years.

eta... I was always the youngest in my class and graduated high school at age 17 with an October birthday.  It was never a problem, but back in the 60's/70's this was common and Dec 31st was the cutoff.  I never knew of a classmate who was held back simply because of their birth-date.  My husband, was held back in first grade because of illness and it always bothered him to be a year older than everyone else.

[ChristaN]

I don't know if I'd totally defer to what others are doing or whether the child is a girl or boy.  We, too, live in an area where holding out the younger kids is common.  My 11 y/o turned 10 a little over a month into 5th grade.  Her best friend that year was a girl who turned 12 part of the way through 5th grade, so about an 18 month age difference or so.  I've known a lot of kids in my children's classes over the years who are more than a year older than they are, but no kid is a statistic and each kid's needs are individual.  I do see the point of a kid being much, much younger and how s/he might be assumed to be less able or less able to compete in sports as a result, but some kids will do well despite being younger and some poorly despite being older.  Being among the oldest isn't a magic method of guaranteeing greater success.

I asked dd11 after I posted last and made an effort to keep dd13 out of the conversation b/c she has very firm opinions in favor of being the youngest.  I was less certain of my youngest's opinions.  She said that, while like I said, she wasn't crazy about being physically smaller when she was younger, she likes where she's at and wouldn't want to be in 6th this fall.  She feels that she is popular and well regarded and that being younger has not made it harder for her to excel socially or academically.  Her opinion, based as an 11 y/o's may be, on one or two kids in her grade, is that the older kids who were held out a year feel like they are "stupid."  I do believe that she is basing this, like I said, on a very small sample but she knows a few kids who could, technically, be a grade higher up but who were either started late or who did two years of K b/c their bds were close to the cut.  They are a tad more shy and less popular and no more successful academically and dd's impression is that they feel like they weren't smart enough to be placed in the "right" grade.  Granted, again, this is coming from an 11 y/o.

Point being, you cannot guarantee positives from either choice and what others do, while it may set the ground for your child to be compared to those who are either much older or much younger, is not necessarily what is right for your child.  The article I linked above did indicate the being younger may create an issue with a child being somewhat less academically advanced early in elementary, but that by 3rd grade, the effect of age was gone.  The older children did no better than the younger children by that point unless there was an ability difference.  

Where I can see it being an ongoing problem is if schools have rigid tracking for students very early (say K-2nd) where it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  We do see some of that where I live where kids who come into K or 1st with stronger reading skills, for instance, are taught more as a result and also taught to the tests that will later be used for GT identifications in informal pull outs.  This does make those kids potentially more likely to be ided for the GT programs later.  It's a mixed bag... but there are very young for grade kids in GT programs just as there are old for grade kids there too.  

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by ChristaN 

Where I can see it being an ongoing problem is if schools have rigid tracking for students very early (say K-2nd) where it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  We do see some of that where I live where kids who come into K or 1st with stronger reading skills, for instance, are taught more as a result and also taught to the tests that will later be used for GT identifications in informal pull outs.  This does make those kids potentially more likely to be ided for the GT programs later.  It's a mixed bag... but there are very young for grade kids in GT programs just as there are old for grade kids there too.  

I agree that it can become a self fulfilling prophecy - in regards to GT/high ability or a child doing less than they are capable because they pick up on the belief that they are less capable.  (This happens with red shirting or front loading - a term I learned when my children were in first grade in a more traditional school.  I had never even heard of front-loading and never imagined it was so widely practiced by parents.)

I am glad to read that your children are happy to be the youngest in the class.  I am hoping it doesn't concern mine as much in the years to come.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by ChristaN 

I don't know if I'd totally defer to what others are doing or whether the child is a girl or boy. 

I agree, but I do see it as something to be aware of while making the decision. We've moved several times, and I have a child with a MAY birthday. Where we live now, that makes her the very youngest because red shirting is just how things are done here. That wasn't the case in the last place we lived.

Some kids do great being the youngest, and some kids don't. I think that with a child so very, very close to the cut off, it makes sense to make the decision based on the child. My May birthday baby is not only the youngest in her grade, by is accelerated for several subjects. That right for her. My other DD's birthday falls just after the cutoff, so she is one of the older kids, and that works better for her.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by dbsam 

(This happens with red shirting or front loading - a term I learned when my children were in first grade in a more traditional school.  I had never even heard of front-loading and never imagined it was so widely practiced by parents.)

OT, but I've never heard that term.  What is front loading?

[dbsam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristaN 

OT, but I've never heard that term.  What is front loading?

I had never heard of it either.  They way it was described to me by a parent and a teacher is the parents or a hired teacher/tutor pre-teach (I guess in the summer) what will be learned that school year so their child is ahead and appears brighter.  Often these children end up in the high ability programs and one parent who practices this said it was justifiable because her son already knew the material and was ready for more challenge.  OTOH, her child is considered gifted when he was really just pre-taught. 

eta...These conversations were in regard to first graders but I know a few people who do this throughout grade school. 

eta more...A friend of mine is a teacher and she was shocked that I didn't front load.  She says it is common in many school districts.