My doctor thinks I'm fat in Orange County

[filamena]

I'm the healthest I've been my whole life, I walk tens of miles a week, often just for the fun of it but also for any household chores or shopping I need to do. I eat well, lots of fresh fruits and veggies and lean meats, all that jazz. I'm fit, but I'm big. I am a big woman who weighs WAY more than I look like I'd weigh. That's just how I am, and how I was made. I went to see an OB locally to get myself set up for this baby. (8 weeks in, I'm glad I started early, I can tell this is going to be a nightmare.) 

Aside from being talked over and sped through the exam so fast I couldn't ask any questions, and being invaded by this jerk without enough warning to say 'no' he told me he doesn't want me to gain any weight during my pregnancy. He especially had a good time threatening me that I wouldn't get a VBAC unless my pregnancy was 'perfect.' This is my third pregnancy, it will be my second VBAC.  No pregnancy is perfect. I have no other indicators of a problem with having a second vaginal delivery after cesearian, but he's telling me I'm not supposed to gain weight. (Maybe five pounds, he said when I pressed him.) That's such crap I'm glad they did my BP before I talked to him, or they might have tried to hospitalize me immediatly. 

I know we're told in this country that 'beggers can't be choosers' and that seems like a lot of crap to me too. So here's the deal.

I need to find, hopefully in Anahiem, (Irvine is really far for me, we don't have a car.) 

*Someone (midwife/center/ob) that can deliver V2BAC.

*Someone who will take Medical (I know, I know, I sick for not having better insurance.) 

*Someone who isn't going to give me crap about my weight, which is perfectly healthy for me. 

Am I demanding too much? Should I just get some tarps and do it myself? Because by God, I'll do that before I let another jerk shove fingers in me without enough warning or come at me with a scalpal when I don't need one. Shaming me about my weight, he's lucky I didn't knock his head off his shoulders. 

(May be angrier than I will be later right now. SO OFFENDED.) 

[Viola]

It's been a long time since I've lived in Orange County, but there was a midwife I had planned to use who I believe is part of South Coast Midwifery Care.  But I guess they are in Irvine.  Could you try another OB either in that practice or in another practice.  This man does not sound respectful.

[DesireeH]

I will ask around. I am in Buena Park but I had my babies in Riverside County (we moved here this year.)  I used Karen Baker (Yucaipa) and she is amazing but I don't think she comes out to Orange County.

[DesireeH]

Here is a list of quite a few midwives who serve north orange county: http://www.socalbirth.com/providers/homebirth-midwives.html

[EmTheWife]

I don't know of MW who do VBACs locally, but I professionally know two very good OB/GYNs who deliver in Anaheim, though their offices aren't in Anaheim.  Dr. Joseph Khan (in Santa Ana) and Dr. Robert Borrowdale (in Yorba Linda).  As far as I know, both will take VBACs on occasion, and both are excellent physicians though somewhat lacking in bedside manner, they are meticulous and highly attentive to one's health and well-being.

Also, there's Dr James who delivers out of Saddleback Memorial, and I've heard great things about VBACs with him!  But he's kind of far, though you could take the train which would get you fairly close.

Edited by EmTheWife - 10/20/11 at 9:30am

[stellamia]

Yes to Dr. James!! He is wonderful and very midwife friendly. My MW used to work out of his office. 

I had to LOL at your post title! I despise Orange County and am getting out of here as soon as possible. I was born and raised here (save for brief stints in SD County) but it's not where I want to raise my kids. My sister just moved to NorCal and loves it. We were talking one day and she said "It's so weird to not feel like the fat mom anymore!" She's a size 6 or 8 but in the ridiculous bubble of OC you're big if you're bigger than a 2!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! :)

[trekkingirl]

I don't know how anyone could stay thin in Orange County, not with Lucille's Barbeque! I was there last weekend and ate there three times! yummmmmy       

[2sweetsparrows]

O am so sorry to hear that your OB was such a jerk- hoe you found a new one!  I am a bit overweight too and I spoke with by ob and told her I heard I probably should not gain any or much weight.  She looked at me with a smile and told me that that is a ridiculous expectation and that I can- like everyone else expect to gain a healthy 25 pounds. 

That being said- some women who are very overweight will naturally stay the same weight or even loose weight- I had a friend who was obese and she lost 15 pounds during her pregnancy.  This should not be the expectation though. 

Good Luck with you pregnancy!!