EC & sleep questions

[avitalx]

Hi! I'm new. I've just started ECing my (first) DS, at six weeks old.

The first 3-4 days were a great success (80% catches - beginners luck?).

I still have quite a few questions:

- Do I cue him when offering a "pottytunity" or only when he's actually peeing/pooing?

- Should I use different cues for pee/poo?

- How long is recommended to hold him in position if nothings happening and I can't tell if he really needs or not?

- Often he needs to go straight after he's just been (a minute or two later) - how do I know if he's done or if i should keep him in position if he seems relaxed and finished?

- Often he signals during a feed and I catch it. But sometimes he feeds straight through and falls asleep. My question is - should i wake him up to offer a pee, even if he hasn't signaled? 

I have some more but that seems to be enough for now! Would greatly appreciate answers...thanks!

[riboflavin]

Congratulations on the nice catch rate! I also started my DS about the same time as you, with around the same success rate. I would say children definitely have different stages all throughout the potty learning process. We had a very easy time until about 4 months. After that, we went through many different cycles until he graduated at about 2.5yo. 

- Do I cue him when offering a "pottytunity" or only when he's actually peeing/pooing?

I always started cueing when we were in the 'ready' position. I think it told my DS to try to hold it until we were in proper position. I would cue, and then he would start peeing and I would continue to cue for a short moment after that. 

- Should I use different cues for pee/poo?

I think some people do this and others don't. I did because I could often tell if my DS was going to go number 1 or number 2. I felt it helped him understand that I understood that he was going to poo, so I knew it would take a bit longer to start than a pee. Plus I thought my cue of a soft "po po" and then a soft grunting helped him relax and go.

- How long is recommended to hold him in position if nothings happening and I can't tell if he really needs or not?

I think this can be a a hard one. I have heard people only do it for a few seconds and some wait much longer. I think it will depend on your child. The longer you do this, the better you will understand if they have to go or not and how long it may take. I waited a while with my DS because I knew it sometimes took some time to get started, especially if it were a poo. However, with another child I babysat for I only held him on the potty for a few seconds because he either went immediately or not at all. He also would try to turn to look at me if he didn't have to go and as soon as he was done. 

- Often he needs to go straight after he's just been (a minute or two later) - how do I know if he's done or if i should keep him in position if he seems relaxed and finished?

If that happens often I would just keep him there for a minute or two after he finishes his first round if he doesn't seem to mind.

- Often he signals during a feed and I catch it. But sometimes he feeds straight through and falls asleep. My question is - should i wake him up to offer a pee, even if he hasn't signaled? 

My personal opinion is to never wake a sleeping baby! Also, he might become angered and resentful of having to pee if he is woken up and start doing the oh-so-dreaded back arching thing. Others may have different opinions on this though.

Good luck and welcome to the club! Hope you get some helpful answers.

[AliceMay]

I second most of this. But I only use a pssss sound to cue. my dd doesn't poop much and I don't always know when she will go. But really, I think being held in position is all the cue she needs now anyway. 

i also would not wake a sleeping baby. DD always wakes up to pee so it is just a question of me waking up when she does (at night...) to pee her. But i would rather have a miss than wake her up from sleeping. 

[avitalx]

Thank you both for the helpful answers! It's so nice to have the online community as a support system as I really don't know anyone doing this...(or who has even heard of it)

I also wouldn't want to wake ds but when he signals at night (very clearly - grunting, kicking, fidgeting) I sometimes have trouble assessing how awake he is and whether it's worth lifting him up to take him to the sink (into a little bit of light etc) to relieve him or better for him to pee in his (cloth) diaper. He keeps his eyes closed but his breathing gets fast and he looks so uncomfortable - like he's waiting for me to pick him up - I find I think it's better for him to be picked up...thoughts? 

I'd also like to ask advice re pottys/ toilet seats. I find the idea of a potty cumbersome - one more thing to carry around and clean up. I much prefer the use of sink/toilet/nature. But it kinda hurts my back to hold my 6 kilo baby for so long (he takes his time) over the sink or toilet. Are there toilet seats for such small babies? Or is a potty my only option?

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by avitalx 

I also wouldn't want to wake ds but when he signals at night (very clearly - grunting, kicking, fidgeting) I sometimes have trouble assessing how awake he is and whether it's worth lifting him up to take him to the sink (into a little bit of light etc) to relieve him or better for him to pee in his (cloth) diaper. He keeps his eyes closed but his breathing gets fast and he looks so uncomfortable - like he's waiting for me to pick him up - I find I think it's better for him to be picked up...thoughts?

I was into pottying both kids at night for two reasons:

1. I think they sleep much better after they pee on the potty (my dd's didn't let it all out in the diaper and then would still need to go, which would wake them up sooner than if they just peed on the potty and got it all out).

2. My family has a history of major bed-wetting.  I wanted to do all I could to help my kids avoid that.  My almost 5-y.o. stopped wetting the bed at under a year (mostly), and my 1 y.o. has many dry nights (although many wet ones too).

My advice is to bring a potty/bowl to bed with you and set up a pottying station next to your bed.  For both of my dd's light would make them totally wake up, but if I could keep it dark, keep them in bed and offer a chance to pee in bed (over a bowl or a potty), they could almost sleep right through it.  I would just reach next to the bed, pick up the bowl, flip dd so her back leaned against my breasts in the "classic ec" position and cue her.  Then she would pee, and I would put the bowl back down next to the bed and she would easily fall back to sleep.  I liked that I didn't have to get out of bed too.  Both dd's went through stages at night where I had to nurse them while pottying them--which required a little bit of acrobatics, but I still felt like it was worth it to keep them partly asleep and avoid getting out of bed!

Another idea is just to loosen the cloth diaper and "pee" him into it as if he was over the potty.  That way it's less fuss for you but he still (hopefully) gets it all out and sleeps better.

BUT be careful not to spill that bowl in bed (or let dd grab it and flip it over)...been there done that and it SUCKS!   You can put a prefold in the bottom so that it absorbs the pee and it's not as sloshy.

And we definitely do better on nights where I go to bed early and am not so tired that I sleep through her cues :)  My older dd was so clear--I would offer to nurse her and if she nursed normally, she didn't need to pee and would often go back to sleep.  But if she popped on and off the boob, then she definitely needed to pee.

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by avitalx 

- Often he signals during a feed and I catch it. But sometimes he feeds straight through and falls asleep. My question is - should i wake him up to offer a pee, even if he hasn't signaled? 

I wouldn't wake him up unless he clearly looks like he WANTS to wake up (like what you described of what he does at night).  Does that make any sense?  If he's not fussing, SLEEP!  I'm in favor of sleep too.  :)  I think missing some pees everyday is a totally fine and healthy thing.  Especially if it gets you a bit more sleep :)

[Tjej]

I did fairly full-time EC during the day and had my DS pee in his diaper at night.  It made for good sleep for both of us.  If it was bugging his sleep, I might have taken him at night.  I found DS was not confused by this, and was daytime dry enough to be in undies by under 1 1/2 yo.  We didn't get rid of the night time diapers until quite a bit later, but we weren't in a hurry on it either.

Tjej

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Tjej 

I did fairly full-time EC during the day and had my DS pee in his diaper at night.  It made for good sleep for both of us.  If it was bugging his sleep, I might have taken him at night.  I found DS was not confused by this, and was daytime dry enough to be in undies by under 1 1/2 yo.  We didn't get rid of the night time diapers until quite a bit later, but we weren't in a hurry on it either.

Tjej

Yeah, I probably would have taken this approach if my sister and I hadn't been such long-time bet wetters.  I'm talking wetting the bed in 4th and 5th grade.  No fun.

[Tjej]

That wouldn't be fun.  And they didn't even have under-jams back then...

I can see why people do it at night too - they do wake up dry once they are a little older.  I just didn't have it in me and DS didn't fight me on it, so it worked better for us that way.

Tjej