I wish I knew the answer! My son spent over an hour working on two projects last night. Put them in his bag, and then left the bag hanging on the door handle of the front door!
Tips for helping (particularly older kids) remember their stuff! - Page 2
One tip I read in some "messy" forum was the idea of a system and labels. In one case a lady labled (literally) 3 things with the letter A B C. Like her cell phone, her purse and her keys or something. So instead of trying to remember Cell phone, purse, keys, she just had to go A B C and each thing had a lable on it. Maybe something like that would help?
We also have lists of 3 throughout the house: Three things to do when you come home 1) Hang up coat 2) Put away lunch bag 3)Reset backpack (which itself has 3 things - unpack, home work, library books). Three things to do before bed 1) brush teeth, put on PJS pick out clothes.
Then I can just say - did you do your list of 3? Rather than asking about each individually.
You could probably find suggestions by searching for executive function.
You may also find this book helpful. One idea that comes up often is having a family meeting about a problem where everyone 1) comes to an agreement on what the problem is, 2) agrees on solutions to a problem, and 3) an individual specifies how they would like to be reminded and will not get angry if they are reminded in the agreed upon way.
Thanks for the link. The value of self-control, self-reliance, and self-assurance are really important skills that will last a lifetime.