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Rude or not? - Page 2

post #21 of 32

 

Quote:
She showed up at 4:00 because BIL (the driver) chronically shows up at places later than one would expect.

 

So BIL is the flake. :D

post #22 of 32

Are they secretly Jewish? Maybe they were observing Yom Kippur. wink1.gif

post #23 of 32

The not eating thing wouldn't have bothered me. If she was rude, didn't at least try to chat with you/family, then yes, it is rude.

 

For me, if people assumed I disliked their food, or that I was insulting them if I didn't eat, i would be terribly hurt- I have IBS and anxiety, which in some settings, it is hard for me to eat, even though I want to. It is also hard to share these things with people, so I do try to eat a little but often times I don't. I love my family/friends, but sometimes it is easier on me not to eat.

post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caneel View Post

If the whole thing comes together, I will start a "didn't know if I should laugh or cry" holiday gathering thread.


Love that thread title!  I am pre-subbing.  

 

post #25 of 32

Seems really weird to me, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it rude just based on what you've said here.

post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

BIL certainly does eat in front of people, though, so who knows what his excuse is.



he was just following MIL's orders.

post #27 of 32

It's extremely rude. If someone offers you food (or any sort of gift), you always take it. Maybe you only take one sip, or move it around on your plate, but you always take it. It's the right of the host on the guest.

 

The fact that it was family makes it even ruder. 

post #28 of 32

Weird. Is it possible that she has a phobia about food cooked by other people, or an eating disorder?

 

If not then yeah, it's really rude.

post #29 of 32

I have a  few people in my life like this and my brother's MIL is a bit like this. I call it socially awkward or she has control issues. Brother's MIL is very into 'dont  want to bother anyone or put them out" which ends up having the other people involved either standing around all awkward or quite bothered depending on evennts and personalities.

 

We had a  close family friend growing up who had to be in complete control of everything and anything. She hosted thanksgiving every year and although in chiildhood the memories were great with all the kids, as I got older I realized how controlling she was about everything. All get togeethers had to be at her house, even up until a few years ago her grown children had to obey this. When they all went places, they
ALL arrived at the same time and LEFt at the SAME time. Even my wedding that two of her married daughters attended who had been married over a decade. When her youngest met my BIL and dated, he had stories. He then married her and the drama with that wedding is something for bridezilla or motherzilla.

post #30 of 32

when you mention that she rarely eats at her own house so you can see it,   I kinda wonder if she gets gas or some other embarassing digestive problem  that she doesn't want to have crop up in front of others.   Did she smile and say hello to everyone when she arrived and when she left?

post #31 of 32

Is she obsessively clean? I have known people who would not eat at others homes because it was not up to their impossible standards.

post #32 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pranamama View Post

when you mention that she rarely eats at her own house so you can see it,   I kinda wonder if she gets gas or some other embarassing digestive problem  that she doesn't want to have crop up in front of others.   Did she smile and say hello to everyone when she arrived and when she left?



It has been a few day, so I am in a more charitable mood.  She was friendly and did chat with others. It was mostly the food thing I found odd, and I sense my mom was a little put out by 2 adults refusing to eat anything at dinner time 

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