X left my kids with his drug criminal wife

[blueholly]

I tried not to have a knee jerk reaction about this but my X travels out of the country occasionally. Previously, his mother would watch my 2 kids (I gave him primary custody in May) when this occurred.

He just got married to this woman he met only 18 months ago. She has a criminal drug record as does her 21yo daughter who also lives in the house. And now she's taking care of my children!

I have my opinions about this whole arrangement between the two of them - truly, they're both desperate people afraid of being alone and she got involved with my kids immediately after my X started dating her (I find that WEIRD) and she goes overboard with the affection with them when I show up to get them. (puke)

Am I overreacting that I don't want this woman taking care of my children by herself? I maintain my X has absolutely no clue about this her, cares little about her criminal activities & probably sees her as a convenient free babysitter?

[Adaline'sMama]

Did you give him primary custody after he had started dating her and you noticed that she was a total weirdo around your kids? Because it looks like they have been dating for 18 months and you just gave him custody in May, so you knew he was dating this woman. While it seems to me like the person with primary custody should contact the the other parent if they are leaving the country, I honestly have to ask why you did not think that this would happen. She is married to your ex, her daughter lives in their house, and you really think he just sees her a a convenient, free babysitter?

Are you really far away? It seems weird that his mom would watch the kids when he was out of the country and not you.

[blueholly]

Yes, I had to move far away for training & a job. I knew they were living together but didn't have a clue about her criminal history.

And, yes, I do think he sees her as a convenient babysitter. He used her as such when they were first dating, which I'd find out about much later. I took issue with it before and he'd just smirk at me, like he thought I was jealous.

[Mom31]

I went thru similar excrutiating things after xh got control of my kids. It took me two years and I got them back. I hope you can get your s back too.

[hillymum]

What else is he supposed to realistically do? I would have a lot of concerns only if she is still on drugs, but if she has been off them all the time they have been together then I don't think you really can say or do anything. Thats what happens when you give up primary custody. I totally understand you would have your doubts about the situation and you feel the need to vent.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Well, you live far away so you can't watch the kids, she's close and lives with him (which means she does quite a bit of "parenting" in all likelihood).  It totally sounds sketchy, but I don't think theres much you can do about it since you moved away.