Daycare, supplementation, no flames please

[annaconda]

Hi Mamas,

I am all twisted up with guilt over milk.  DS is 5 months old next week.

I'm looking for supplement recommendations and support from other moms who despite everything had to supplement a little bit.

I made it from lots of supplementation early on to EBF over the summer.  I worked really hard at it with tons of pumping, herbs, etc.  I am back to work working two part time jobs now.  I do spend four days a week as primary caregiver and nursing is wonderful on those days, happy baby, good supply.

DS used to have a sitter come here three days a week.  Now she reopened her daycare so he goes to the sitter 2 days a week and in-laws are here one day a week.

The trip to the sitter adds some length to his days.  I was managing to pump enough before he started travelling.  Now his days away are longer.  I am doing my best by pumping every 2 HOURS whenever I can.  I'm going to start powerpumping today - pumping till I"m dry every half hour.  I can't do that when I'm on the road for work though.

The other thing is that no matter what day it is, I spend between 6-10pm pumping every half hour for 5 minutes (power pumping) to build a 4-5 oz dreamfeed bottle.  We give it to him without waking him at 10pm so I can sleep till 4 or 5am at least.  We do this because he won't take in that much if he nurses at this time.  Due to insomnia, it's important that I have a long stretch when I go to bed cause I only get one shot at falling asleep.

I use the days I have at home with him to establish supply as much as possible - offering the breast all the time and having lots of skin to skin time snuggling and nursing.

The last two weeks, he's ended up having about 12 oz of formula over the course of a week (3x 4 oz bottles).  I wouldn't feel so bad if that was BM from my freezer stash, but my MIL left that out and ruined over 60 oz of milk so it's just me and as much as I can pump, then formula.

One supplement bottle was given at daycare to stretch out the measly 9 oz I was able to pump.  One was given on Saturday overnight so I could sleep through the night (I've had horrible insomnia and need one night a week to do this).  The other four oz were given as 2 x 2oz snacks to tide him over on separate occasions while I was at the gym.

Anyway, I know he doesn't like the formula as much as the breast milk.  (I totally understand - that stuff is gross!)  I'm looking for recommendations on good formula - is there good organic formula?  I've been using enfamil because that's what he took early on when my milk was slow to come in.  But I know it constipates him too.  Not bad, just one day after getting a full bottle he doesn't have the same poops he usually does, then two days after he has big ones.

I feel horrible giving him any formula but I also have to balance the rest of my life.  We've made it almost to 6 months and I've spilled a lot of blood (not literally) getting him as much ebf as possible.  I know that on this board breast is best but I'm seriously doing the best I can.  I need some support talking about supplementation.  I have considered adding an extra pumping session but my hands are really full right now.  I can't do middle of the night pumping cause that exacerbates my insomnia.  I was able to do a little extra this morning so I sent him to daycare with 12 oz rather than 9 oz.

Frankly, with the four hours of almost nonstop pumping every night, and doing every 2 hours or closer the times that he's gone from me, I just cannot hack any more pumping.  There I said it.  I have so much guilt about this!  My parents did bf but supplemented all the time as they both worked and that's how it had to be.  I wonder if I could give myself permission to be ok with this.  It's just so hard when he clearly doesn't desire the formula like the milk, and when it constipates him.  None of these issues are enough to raise anyone else's flags that something has to change, but I'm a mama and I want him to be well fed, satisfied, not constipated one day a week, etc.

Thanks,

Anna

[voca]

When my daughter was around six months old I wasn't pumping enough for her during the day and my husband started supplementing with formula. Instead of giving her all the breast milk and then straight formula when it ran out he mixed them 50-50 throughout the day: this was the advice our family doctor gave us to get her take formula at all, since she didn't like it. This is totally anecdotal but the mix seemed to ease her digestive issues with formula, since she never had so much of it all at once.

I can't give useful advice on formula: Nestle Good Start was the only one she didn't projectile vomit everywhere, so we went with that even though I generally don't like to support Nestle for obvious reasons.

My daughter is two now and we are still nursing -- I stopped pumping entirely when she turned one, and we phased out formula soon thereafter.

[annaconda]

Thanks Voca - I've often wondered about mixing to help with digestion.  I will keep that in mind and talk to my daycare provider about it.  We need to see how much he's eating on average on these long days and figure out how much mixing we'll need to do.

I just ordered some Baby's Only Organic formula as well.  I am really excited to give DS something a little better in quality.

As usual, I post here in a frenzy... just getting my thoughts out often makes me feel so much better and ready to act (rather than just spinning it all in my head over and over when I should be working!)

Thanks :)

[Megan73]

Flame you!? As if! I just wanted to tell you that you're an amazing mama who's doing every.possible.thing to get her milk into her babe. You have to balance breastfeeding with sleep and sanity. A bit of formula is - to me - a totally reasonable trade off.
That said, have you tried domperidone? The usual starting dose - 90 mg a day - might make all the difference to you.

[CallMeMommy]

You gotta do what you gotta do!  My oldest had formula at daycare but boob at home from about 6 months on - I unknowingly had excess lipase and he wouldn't take expressed breastmilk, and the kid had to eat.  I agree with mixing the formula with breastmilk to help with digestion and taste.  If it seems like it's bothering him, try a formula without the DHA/ARA added, I've heard from a lot of sources that the "lipils" can cause stomach problems in some babies.

[librarymommy]

When I went back to work at 5 months, my freezer stash lasted all of 2 weeks. I was really upset at first when my DH insisted on using formula, but I was not able to pump enough. At most 2oz. per breast per session. I EBF at home, and DD was absolutely fine. I can't even remember which formula we used, except I think we used an organic one, maybe Similac? Good luck!

[McGucks]

PM'd you.  And I sure hope your MIL offered an apology the size of Texas.

You need to give yourself a massive, massive pat on the back for all you have done for your child.  Flames?  I think not.  Cheers and and ?  You bet.

I have insomnia issues, too, and totally understand what you were saying about the "one shot to get to sleep."

Good luck with your recommendations search and your power pumping.  You are quite an inspiration

[annaconda]

Wow thank you so much everyone.  I really do feel loads better.

Yeah, sitting attached to a pump for hours at a time switching it on and off... is not life.

I haven't checked into dom.  I have heard it causes weight gain though and I'm extremely succeptible to that.

[Megan73]

Originally Posted by annaconda 

Wow thank you so much everyone.  I really do feel loads better.

Yeah, sitting attached to a pump for hours at a time switching it on and off... is not life.

I haven't checked into dom.  I have heard it causes weight gain though and I'm extremely succeptible to that.

I'm prone to gain weight, too, but I've never been thinner. I took it for 18 months with DS1 and eight months and counting with DS2. The standard starting dose is 90 mg a day - typically 30 mg, three times a day.

[MiaFL]

Domperidone is the reason I am still breastfeeding.  It actually helped me build an oversupply.  I haven't had any weight gain issues with it.  I understand if you don't want to take it but it has been a miracle drug for me and has allowed me to regain my sanity.  I'm still pumping but instead of pumping 10 times a day and barely filling the bottom of the bottles, I'm pumping 4-5 times a day and getting more than 20 oz (and this is in addition to what DD gets from nursing).

Please give yourself permission to let go of the guilt.  I don't know why we mothers measure our self worth by how much breast milk we provide our children.  You're doing a great job by providing your child any amount of breast milk.  Don't compromise your health by trying to do more than your body will allow. 

[tincia]

I have experienced a bit of the weight gain side effact, but i would say i'm hanging on to an extra 20 lbs because of it. Ultimately it has tripled my supply and is totally worth it for me. I also haven't done anything to really try to lose that either, so i imagine when i'm done bf(or if i get mitivated to really work at it sooner) then i think when i stop the dom it will come off pretty easy. It also isn't constant gain either. I noticed it as I was noticing it take effect, and it plateaued quickly so it's not as if u r gaining a lb a week the whole time u r on it.
Ultimately a little formula isn't the end of the world, but if you'd really rather not, dom might be a solution for u

[erigeron]

Have you considered seeing if you can get donated milk? I can't comment on the supplementation because I haven't done it. I'm trying to find someone through HM4HB to take some of my freezer stash off my hands, so that's why I thought of it. I mean, not to say there is anything wrong with supplementing with formula, but donated breastmilk might agree with him more.