How would you discipline a 5yr for peeing in closet? - Page 2

[Night_Nurse]

I don't have any suggestions, really, other than possibly buying a "puppy pad" for him to pee on if he insists on continuing this behavior. I just wanted to chime in to say I think it's a "normal" boy-type idea of fun. My son is older than yours. But just this past summer he left our house (our house with THREE bathrooms) to go out front to pee. He did this twice that I know of and he's not suffering from any issues. When I asked him why he did this he said "I don't know. Just because I wanted to". I did have to instruct him to at least pee in the back yard instead of the front so the neighbors won't be offended. :-)

Good luck, I bet it'll get better soon!

[somasoul]

@Bellingham,

Have you ever seen the floor of men's restroom? I doubt a bucket would help this problem very much. 

[pianojazzgirl]

Lol!

[nextcommercial]

I'm happy that he told you the truth.  That's worth a lot in my opinion.  

I think it's weird to do that, and at five he knows he shouldn't, but I think it's fairly common do things like that too.  Some kids are curious.... sometimes it's just laziness... or He's feeling mean... or he's sleepwalking.  (my brother peed in the strangest places when he was young... almost every night...I hope he's outgrown it by now)  Some kids just like to be gross.  

I honestly don't think I'd have a consequence for what he's done so far... only because he admitted it to you.  I like truthfulness enough that I would let that be his consequence.  

BUT, i'd have a consequence in mind, in case it ever happened again, he'll know what is going to happen if he makes that choice in the future.  

I wouldn't worry about him having any issues (except sleepwalking) unless it keeps happening.

This is going to be HILARIOUS in 15 years.  It's going to be one of those "he flushed my cell phone down the toilet" stories one day.

[phathui5]

Maybe less so. Our girl has only peed in the toilet since she was potty trained.

 

Originally Posted by Viola 

And, heck, normal girl behavior too, as long as we're on the topic. ;)

[rainbow_mandala]

Girls do strange stuff, too, so not sure about the "boy behavior" explanation.  I liked to pee in a cup sometimes in my room when I was little, just for fun.  I only did it a few times, though, then it lost its appeal.  My son loves peeing in the forest when we go there simply because he can.  

It sounds like your little guy is experimenting, which is totally normal.  He may have logically known that it wasn't a good idea, but kids at that age are often impulsive and do irrational things.  Also, the "sneaking" bit makes sense--he's exercising his autonomy.  I like what a PP said about hinting that it might be fun to sneak into the backyard and go pee...this might work especially well if you act like you won't like it   Kids need to feel like they're getting away with stuff sometimes, helps them feel more in control.  

[MaJoie]

Our 4yo twin boys both run outside to pee. On occasion they've pooped outside as well. Then come hopping into the house with pants around their ankles to get help with buttons,etc.  I was also one of those pacifist mommas who was shocked when my oldest made weapons out of everything: L shaped sticks, Legos (ususally became "lazer guns"), anything else remotely that shape.

[coffeegirl]

Originally Posted by hildare 

this is true-- i just think at this point you're so far removed from the time of the incidents it's a little pointless (and i am not big on punishment etc anyway)

if you wanted a consequence, you could probably make the kid be in your presence or his room for a week or so (no solitary time anywhere besides his room or being supervised by someone) to show that he'd lost trust, etc.  and at the end of that time discuss what has to be done to be given free range privileges?

I think this sounds reasonable.

As far as empathy...gosh, I don't know. I'm just throwing out ideas here, but does he have any understanding of money yet? Also, does he have a clear understanding of exactly how peeing in the closet would harm the carpet/flooring? I could see a five year old possibly not understanding all these things in a really clear and cohesive way all at the same time, you know?

Also, haven't read all the replies yet so this may have already been mentioned....but is it a long way to the nearest bathroom? Like say, bathrooms are upstairs or far away from the main living area, etc.? Or is there just one bathroom and is there someone else in the family who hogs the bathroom a lot? (for lack of a better way to put it lol) Because it sounds like maybe it's just a laziness thing, too....like trying to find a shortcut. If any of the those things are the case, maybe you can steer the talk to just practical solutions for what he may perceive as a "problem" (not being able to/not being willing to get to the bathroom in time).

[hopefulfaith]

My son did that once, when he was five.  It turns out that when I had the kids go into quiet time in their rooms (30 minutes, all by yourself-time), my son thought he simply wasn't allowed to come out of his room for any reason, even to go to the bathroom, so he peed in his closet.  :(

I clarified that rule for him - and reinforced all of the stuff he needed to know (bathroom is the only place we pee in the house, etc.; we don't disrespect our home by doing this, etc.), and he hasn't done it since.

It doesn't sound like my experience is your issue, but if you rule out abuse/trauma, I'm going along with "Weird Things Boys Sometimes Do."  When my ds turned five, he was fascinated that I told him it was okay to pee behind a tree in our backyard if he couldn't make it inside.  All of a sudden, he was just waiting to pee until he could get outside to do it - there was something inherently awesome about peeing outside, and he experimented with different trees and everything (maple vs. birch vs. pine...).  /shrug/  Kids are weird sometimes.  ;)

[hakeber]

First I would lock my bedroom door so he couldn't pee in my room anymore.

Second I would get some carept cleaner and ask him to clean it.

I don't think he means anything by it.  It's just impulse control.  But one way we learn to control our impulses is through facing the consequences of our actions. 

DS went through a sneaky phase himself.  He was peeing in the garden though so it wasn't a big deal...but other things he was doing were things like...he found a snail and school in the garden and snuck it home in his shoe. 

It was really just about fulfilling the need for autonomy, I think.  Giving him more control helped not want to be so sneaky about stuff, and showing him we trusted him more to make his own decisions...Not easy to do when someone is peeing in your closet, I know, and totally counter intuitive, but could work. 

Just hold him accountable.

You could also ask him to come up with the solution for how he is going to make it better.  When DS was five he purposefully broke a whole set of tupperware, by jumping on them.  He said he was testing the theory of plastic not breaking.  We sat down and talked about it and he offered up the solution himself of doing chores for a week that he would ordinarily get an allowance for and instead he would forfeit his allowance.  We all felt better and he actually didn't mind facing the consequence because he designed it.

[treegardner]

Originally Posted by hopefulfaith 

My son did that once, when he was five.  It turns out that when I had the kids go into quiet time in their rooms (30 minutes, all by yourself-time), my son thought he simply wasn't allowed to come out of his room for any reason, even to go to the bathroom, so he peed in his closet.  :(

I clarified that rule for him - and reinforced all of the stuff he needed to know (bathroom is the only place we pee in the house, etc.; we don't disrespect our home by doing this, etc.), and he hasn't done it since.

It doesn't sound like my experience is your issue, but if you rule out abuse/trauma, I'm going along with "Weird Things Boys Sometimes Do."  When my ds turned five, he was fascinated that I told him it was okay to pee behind a tree in our backyard if he couldn't make it inside.  All of a sudden, he was just waiting to pee until he could get outside to do it - there was something inherently awesome about peeing outside, and he experimented with different trees and everything (maple vs. birch vs. pine...).  /shrug/  Kids are weird sometimes.  ;)

I vividly remember my mom getting me ready for a bath, standing next to the tub, and she had forgotten a towel or something. She left the room and said "don't move, I'll be right back." I had to pee and so I just did on the floor. She got upset and I remember thinking, "but you told me not to move!" 

My guess would be he did it once out of curiosity, didn't get caught, and then it became a game. He was doing something "wrong" and so he got the feeling he was "sneaking" and probably liked it because sometimes it is fun to do "wrong." I wouldn't do anything beyond explaining why he can't do that anymore. If it continues, then I would come up with a punishment.

[cameragirl]

Abnormal bathroom habits can be a sign of abuse, but usually it is just kids being kids. Boys are especially interesting with peeing. I baby sat a friend's son that insisting on peeing outside, and on the fence to boot. My sister teaches at a school on a military base. It hasn't been updated with GFCI plugs, even in the areas that get wet. One of the boys went to the bathroom, was gone awhile, and came back looking really spooked. When my sister asked what happened, he said that he peed in the bathroom, accidentally got it on an outlet, and then he saw smoke. She went into the bathroom to find that he had peed on an outlet across the room from the urinal, and it was up on the wall, as well. The pee shorted out the outlet, scorching the wall in the process. THAT was a fun call home for her that night. My other sister also teaches, and she once found human poop in a child's backpack, after inquiring about what was smeared all over the kid's library book. That's a whole different issue, though.