Am I making this too big a deal?

[robin4kids]

I have a tendency to react too strongly about things sometimes. I admit it! Yesterday i picked my dd up from school. This is a new school for her. She is 11 and is trying to find her place in the school. She was holding her hand funny and right away said that during gym they were playing football and she injured her finger. The finger was on her right hand and it was swollen and black and blue. I was so shocked. I asked her if she saw the nurse and she said yes, twice. It was iced and she was sent back to class. The injury happened during first period, so she spent the next 7 hrs with a swollen finger! I did not get a phone call or even a note home!

I brought her to urgent care, because it was her writing hand and she plays the piano. I did not think it was broke, but wanted to make sure.

When I called the nurse today to see why I did not get a call she said that they get so many kids in the nurse office that they could never call every one. I said that I was given a call at our last school when my dd lost a tooth?! The nurse said she had no record of my dd coming to the office a second time. So either my dd was not telling the truth, or the office was too busy to notice. 

I am just so frustrated that I did not get a call or a note...I feel it should be my decision as to how bad my child is hurt. I should at least be told that my dd visited the office. I have 3 other children in this school and now worry that if they are sick or hurt, I may NEVER know if the nurse does not think it is worthy of a call. My kids hardly get sick, so if one of them complains about a pain or stomach ache, something IS wrong.

I have a message in to the principal to call me. What do you think? Would you have wanted a call? Am I over reacting?

[Linda on the move]

At my kids' school, it really depends on the seriousness of the injury. It is a very active school (with an out door learning center) and scratches, bumps and even bruises aren't uncommon. Minor one's aren't considered a big deal. But there is a line and bigger things would be mentioned. I wonder if it is the same thing and the last time the nurse saw her finger it didn't look bad. I wonder if the made a mis-call on how serious the injury was.

Lot of kids complain about little things, are given ice or a band aid and that's the end of it. I suspect that when the nurse looked at her finger, it hadn't had a chance to swell and bruise yet.

I'd be upset too, even though I can see how it could happen.

How is the finger doing now? Is it broken? Does she need to be on medication for pain? Will it effect her writing for awhile?

[whatsnextmom]

I'm not one who always needs a call. If it's a random bloody nose (not from a strike) I don't need to hear about it as it's common for my DD in dry weather. If it's a skinned knee, just clean it up and bandage. I don't need a note for that. If her hand was swollen though, absolutely you should have been called! I remember my DD was whacked by a field hockey stick in the nose in 2nd period at age 11. Her P.E. teacher told her to "shake it off." By the time I picked her up, it was swollen and the cut was bloody. How did FIVE later teachers see that bleeding slash on her swollen nose and NOT send her to the office to call me!! I was absolutely furious and this from a school we really loved. In this case, the nurse never saw her but gosh, 5 teachers let it pass... not even a "go get a band-aid?" I met with the principal and he was pretty mortified too. 

Is she in middle school? I ask because there isn't a more skeptical bunch than middle school nurses. The quantity of kids that age coming in (especially during P.E.) with "headaches" and other false ailments is pretty staggering. Parents tend to get really upset when called at this age because many go back to work full-time and don't want to run out for something that isn't really an emergency. I've helped in the office and seen countless kids come in wanting to lie down because they "didn't feel good" only to miraculously be well enough to go back when the period end bell rings. I can see why nurses generally want to see some blood, vomit or a confirmed fever before calling parents. 

I'm not excusing your not getting a call in this situation but I can see why it happened. Middle school nurses are conditioned to be skeptical. Swelling isn't always immediate and perhaps didn't look bad during her time at the nurses office. If she did see her twice though, not sure how that could have slipped. 

So, no, I don't personally need a call for every bump or bruise but certainly I would be upset in your situation.

[Emmeline II]

When did she say the second visit was? Students are always supposed to be somewhere, so if she was at the nurses' office she wasn't somewhere else -- that is where you can try to get your confirmation.

I would find out what the school policy is and whether it was followed. I agree that the swelling and bruising probably wasn't apparent at the first visit.

[beanma]

How is her finger? I would probably want to be notified, too, but on the other hand (no pun intended) when I think about my school experiences I know I jammed my finger during gym (playing basketball I think) and I don't think I even went to the nurse much less was my mom called. It did swell, turn purple, etc. Hope that's all it was. It hurts, but often goes away relatively quickly if it's not serious. 

Maybe you can notify the nurse that if one of your kids comes in you want to be called. Think they would do that? This is our first year at a new school, too, and I'm still figuring out the system.

[TiredX2]

In our district, parents are always called regarding head injuries.  They are also, of course, also notified if the child has an injury/illness that makes them need to leave school (go home or to doctor).

Otherwise, if the child goes back to class, there is no notification.  So, bumps, bruises, cuts, bloody noses, baby teeth lost--- no contact.

Personally, I would expect to be notified in the situation you're describing because I would probably be taking the child to the doctor (swelling, bruising, continued pain).

[K1329]

Sounds like a bad judgement call on the part of the nurse. For a possible broken bone, I would expect a call. But I would not choose to make a huge issue of this - when speaking to the principal, I'd simply request notification the next time your child visits the nurse's office.

[LaughingHyena]

As far as I  know our school only calls if they feel the child needs to be picked up. However we do get a "bump note" if they have to do any kind of first aid, even something as minor as band aids or ice will get a note home.

That said the notes are pretty brief and don't usually tell me much. DS came home with one yesterday saying he injured his elbow, no note of how or when!

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by whatsnextmom 

...

Is she in middle school? I ask because there isn't a more skeptical bunch than middle school nurses. The quantity of kids that age coming in (especially during P.E.) with "headaches" and other false ailments is pretty staggering. Parents tend to get really upset when called at this age because many go back to work full-time and don't want to run out for something that isn't really an emergency. I've helped in the office and seen countless kids come in wanting to lie down because they "didn't feel good" only to miraculously be well enough to go back when the period end bell rings. I can see why nurses generally want to see some blood, vomit or a confirmed fever before calling parents. 

I'm not excusing your not getting a call in this situation but I can see why it happened. Middle school nurses are conditioned to be skeptical. Swelling isn't always immediate and perhaps didn't look bad during her time at the nurses office. If she did see her twice though, not sure how that could have slipped. 

...

Had to laugh at this because my mom was a middle school nurse, and this is SO TRUE. She was even skeptical of my illness or injuries, and although she always treated me with compassion, it was very pragmatic.  Thermometers on the radiator were her biggest complaint (going back 20+ yers here).

I think she called home only when the child needed to be picked up.