I have only been separated for a few months, but I know our relationship is over. He cheated on me many times, over many years. We had other problems as well. Communication, money...i am feeling so guilty. We have 5 beautiful children together and it seems like wh is finally trying to put in the effort to fix his problems. He says he wants me back and seems like he does. The problem is I do not want to try again. I found out about his affairs 3 years ago when I got a call from the husband of the woman he was cheating with. We talked, I cried and I went back. Than it happened again a year later and again I went back. This last time I again was called and told that they were talking again. This is when i found out that there were other woman as well.
I know that it seems so clear to some, RUN as fast as you can he has a huge problem.
Other people say "Go to therapy. If he shows remorse and you both work hard, you could reconcile."
I do not want to run, but i do not want to reconcile. I just don't see the point. We were married for 17 years and he was not faithful for much of those years. How is some therapy going to change what happened? I will never forget. i will always be wondering if it is happening again.
So here is the guilt...The five kids. I feel like even though i was not the cheater, I am the one ending the marriage. Some days I feel like I need to go back to my husband because of the kids and all their needs. I look in their eyes and know that they blame me. WH wants to reconcile but because I don't it is my fault that my kids will be children of divorce parents. I feel selfish.