Now, though, I feel lost. I feel like I don't have a meaningful, workable purpose. My purpose used to be caring for these children but that has sort of become mundane. My dh is gone a lot (military and deployed more than he's been home in the past 8 years) so I'm alone most of the time with my kids. I don't have anyone to have deep, meaningful conversation with.
I used to care deeply about animals and the environment. I wanted to save the world (doesn't just about everyone at some point?). Now I really don't care. I still try to do my part but feel like it's pointless.
I'm just kind of here. Doing the same thing day after day. Not much to look forward to. Not much to look back on as accomplishments. Nothing much satisfying. I'm 41. Maybe I'm starting my mid-life crisis. Kind of hard to go crazy reacting to it when I still have young children to care for. My life is pretty much just blah.