Why I Am Weaning My 2.5 Year Old

[BabyMae09]

Yesterday was a really long day for us. I was in court for an incident that was an unfortunate accident, then went to the doctor, then on a field trip with my son's entire school, then ran errands all afternoon.

Luckily, my parents watched the kids for my husband and I so that we could go out for tea. When DH asked me what the doctor had said, I started crying. The doc had told me that if I didn't start getting good sleep, I was endangering my health.

About a year before this, I'd seen another doctor, who told me to 'stop breastfeeding so much and stop co-sleeping.' I was highly offended, and did not follow his advice. Flash forward to yesterday, when I was so tired that I could barely concentrate in court, and had to ask the DA to explain simple things to me, and asked the judge a couple of questions that would have been easy for me to figure out a few years ago.

Then I went to the doctor. He put me on an ekg machine. My heart rate was only 50 beats per minute, even though I'd had some caffeine that morning. He ordered blood tests, and an overnight sleep test. He wrote me a prescription for 8 hours of un-interrupted sleep - to give to my husband, so he could make sure it happened for me. He thinks the cause of the issues I've been having result from lack of good sleep for the past 2.5 years, as well as stress (which for me, partly comes from the stress of not having taken care of myself properly by getting good sleep and remembering that I have needs, too).

When my husband and I went out for tea, I almost started crying in the crowded cafe. My husband said this to me: 'Our DD is happy. She's healthy. She is totally fine when we go stay at my parent's house overnight. She has no problems going to bed, and sleeps through the night. You've done an amazing job breastfeeding her and co-sleeping with her for so long, but now it's time to take care of yourself.' 

Now, I have amazing nutrition. I may eat (good quality, organic) potato chips a bit too often, but I cook every day, eat in a balanced manner for a Mom breastfeeding a toddler, and take good care of my body. I am one of the most health conscious people I know.

And you know what? I realized that he is right. It is time. Maybe a little past time. I am a little sad that I won't be breastfeeding much longer, but I am SO relieved that I was given permission, in a very kind, thoughtful manner, by my lovely DH. And he is right. Our DD sleeps better in her own bed, and loves the raw goat milk that we give her.

It feels right. To all the Mama's out there who are considering weaning - please take your own health and needs into account too. Breastfeeding is a RELATIONSHIP - TWO people, not one. And yes, the child is younger, and has more needs for security, etc. I try to be the most nurturing Mama that I can be. As such, I am going to take care of myself so that I can continue to be there for my kids.

I think it is imperative to remember that each woman, and each breastfeeding relationship is different, and that each of us has to find our own way.

I have loved breastfeeding, and am blessed to have had such a learning experience. The time has simply come to make a change.

Peace,

Revel

Edited by BabyMae09 - 10/13/11 at 11:45am

[dancinganya]

Thank you for writing your post.  I am also thinking of weaning my 2.5 year old for my own health.  I have not gotten a good night's sleep in so long that my brain is foggy.  She has her own bed but I basically cosleep with her for most of the night as she still wakes frequently.  

Last night before bed she got a huge bump on her head and asked to nurse.  I started nursing her and almost passed out because I was already dehydrated and I barely have any milk left for her.  It was most scarey that I couldn't be there for her because of my own health issues.  Thankfully my husband was there and it passed and we were fine, but it was a sign that it is time.  I just have to have some resolve.

My daughter loves nursing so much that it has been hard for me to wean, but I really think it is time so that I can be a good mommy.

Searching for strength...

[BabyMae09]

I'm glad it helped you. I'd urge you to eat better and not let yourself get so dehydrated. Blessings on your journey.

[dancinganya]

A little update.  I am in the process of nightweaning my daughter and we have so far succeeded for 2 nights, and 4 nights of falling asleep without nursing at all.  I told her we can only nurse when the sun comes up and I nurse her starting around 6:30am.  I feel really good about it and have actually felt that I have milk for her without the constant night nursing.

My husband has been helpful in the middle of the night, but he won't take the whole night on until 6:30am like I would like because of the work week.  Oh well, we are too far now to turn back and though it is not easy for my daughter, she has taken to it well.

Not fully weaned but it is the right thing for us right now.  I just am praying she starts really sleeping through the night without the night nursing being "in the way".

How is your weaning process going?

I just need to be able to share this nightweaning as I feel I don't have many people to share it with.  I have nursed longer than anyone in my family ever has, my husband has been urging me to wean for a year and is not able to celebrate the accomplishments and also talk about the loss of that stage, and I have few friends that have been where I am with a 2.5 year old who has for the first time in her life not nursed throughout the night.

Hope you are feeling better and have found the process to be easier than you thought as it has been for me.

[BabyMae09]

It's been interesting. Once I decided to wean her, I actually was able to relax and not be bothered so much when she does ask to nurse. What has really, really helped us is offering her a bottle (she likes the nipple) of raw goat milk. In fact, I don't think I've nursed her to sleep since I posted this (maybe once for a nap). I also take her for car rides at about nap time to get her to fall asleep.

I am so proud of you for nursing so long!

I think since we've been offering the bottle of goat milk, she's losing interest in breastfeeding a little bit. Maybe the goat milk tastes better, or she can get it out of the bottle better, idk. But it's working! She's a nipple fiend (bottle or boob) - which is one reason why I wanted to wean her so badly.

[jenrose]

I nursed my first for 6 years because she accepted limits and boundaries after age 2 and we were able to make it work.

I weaned my second at 2 1/2 because she was biting me at least every day, and sometimes almost every feed. 

Up to age 2, I feel my kids have a right to as much milk as I can make for them. After that, Mama has to be happy for it to keep going.