help with potty learning

[ZakareyasMama]

I babysit a 2.5 year old 3 to 4 days a week. She wears underwear and is supposed to go in the potty during the day (diapers at night).  I have been keeping her since May and she still has 1-2 accidents per day. She will only sometimes ask me to go to the bathroom and other times when I ask she will almost always say no. If it were my child she'd still be in diapers, but I can't really go against what her mom wants. Any advice? When did you know your child was ready for the potty?

[crunchy_mommy]

Instead of asking her if she wants/needs to go, just say, "It's potty time, let's go." Pay attention to her cues EC-style... and you will probably be able to tell (if you can't already) when she needs to go, so just bring her to the potty very matter-of-factly. For some reason it seems like most kids just always say 'no' if you ask them if they need to go!!

[ZakareyasMama]

Yeah that's what I try to do. Sometimes I do forget, especially with DS to care for as well. Her mom thinks she may see him having his diaper changed and want to have that attention or whatever it is. Perhaps?

Here's what sometimes goes down in the afternoon. Around 2:30 is "poop time". We go to the bathroom and talk about how it's time to go etc etc. She sits on the toilet for 15 minutes or sometimes longer and doesn't poop. She sings and plays. After so long I feel bad leaving her in there. So I take her out and put her in the Pack and Play for "quiet time". Within a few minutes she's pooped in her pants. And during quiet time I'm still around so it's not like she can't tell me she wants to get back on the pot... One solution I though of was to dim the lights in the bathroom (just use a nightlight or something) so she may be less inclined to play.

..?

[crunchy_mommy]

What if you put the little potty in the pack & play with her, and let her stay naked?

Also, if you can get her to poop in the potty just ONCE, you can make a super big deal out of it & do a funny dance... DS always asks me to do the 'poop dance' and I think it really motivates him.

[ZakareyasMama]

We use the regular toilet with the potty seat attached. Do you think it would confuse her to try a different one?. And she does sometimes go when i put her on, but it's just not reliable.

[crunchy_mommy]

Well the nice thing about the little ones is it gives them more independence. At home, as long as DS has loose pants or is naked, he often just goes to the potty himself without asking or telling me. I don't think it would confuse her, but I'm no expert, DS is still 50% in diapers!

[pranava]

My DS is 2.5 and never says yes when I ask if he needs to go.  Very rarely does he tell me ahead of time that he has to potty.  I am starting to think that he's just not going to tell me till he's like 6 years old - seriously!!  And this is why - he (like all toddlers) is so in the moment.  He will dance around and hold himself, even dribble in his pants.  I'll say "look at what you are doing, you are feeling like you need to pee. It's time to potty."  But no, he says "I just HAVE to finish this puzzle"  It's not that he wants to pee in his pants, but he can't stop playing, and he can't see the benefit of pottying now so he doesn't pee his pants in 10 minutes.  The here and now is so much more important.

As for the sitting on the potty and then pooping in the pants 20 min later - I think that is an independence thing for a lot of kids.  Almost like, it's my body and I will go where and when I want.  Maybe the naked time and potty in the pack n play would work.  Or a little potty in the bathroom and naked time from 2 till 2:30 potty time and let her choose to go sit. 

Every kid is so different and what works one month may not the next.   

[hildare]

what we've been doing with our dd is just not to ask, but to (gently) urge... in a way that is combined with another activity (i have no clue as to why it works better that way) such as... go ahead and go to the potty before you put on your socks. 

sometimes i think just potty in itself can be intimidating and for us, dd never would respond with a "yes" if asked whether she needed to go.

we've had good success with a small kid sized potty- she can go when she wants too.  better luck when pants-free, but that is also improving.

[Evie P.]

I never ask mine if she wants to go.  I just say, "Let's go read a book on the potty!" and put her on there and read books.  We use a little seat that fits into the regular toilet.  She loves reading books and always pees if I time it before we go out and when we get back.  She will pee in her pants if I don't do it this way but almost never does if I put her on the potty myself.  Also do the no undie method for all at-home time!

I would much rather do this and bring changes of clothes than keep her in dipies.  They are so uncomfortable for the babes!

[juneboymum]

My DS is 28 months old and has been out of diapers for about 8 weeks.  He completely initiated it...just woke up one morning and said he didn't want to wear a diaper anymore.  The first 4-6 weeks were too good to be true - he'd tell us when he needed to go, and if he didn't we'd ask and he'd always go sit on the potty.  Now, about 6 weeks after starting, he's regressing and having accidents (pee only, though).  I think the novelty of it has worn off and he doesn't want to stop what he's doing, especially at home.  Like PP said, if we ask him he just says "no" so you have to just tell him it's potty time.  It works better if it's during a transition, not in the middle of an activity.  I'll tell him he needs to go potty before we go out/snack/story, etc.  When we are out and about, it's easier because I tell him "mommy has to potty" (which is true since I'm 26 wks preg) and once we are in the bathroom, I just ask him if he wants to go first or second.  We have not used any reward system (other than a high-five) but it's so tempting when you know he knows the feeling and knows what to do....just is "too busy" to do it!  I think it's fairly normal for them to regress a bit at some point and have accidents.  I definitely do not plan to put him back in diapers!  He does still wear a diaper at night (partially b/c he's still in a crib and can't get himself out to go, and b/c I need my sleep!)  Good Luck!!