Sorry, this might be a little long. I just think I need to say a few things, so if you feel like reading, thanks.
Today I had my 40 week check with the midwife. Last week, at 39 weeks, she was surprised to be seeing me. This week, her first words (with a big smile- really she wasn't being accusatory like it sounds when you read it in print) were "Come on, really? Why are you still holding on to this baby?" She's really convinced that I'm still pregnant not because baby's not ready but because I'm not ready. She says unresolved fears and stresses can really cause labor to be delayed.
And really, I think I agree with her. I realize that at just 40 weeks, it's not like I'm overdue or anything. But really, there's no reason, physically, my body or the baby shouldn't be ready. 4-5 cm dilated, 50% effaced, anterior cervix with baby's head low and engaged. I've been having contractions (irregular, but stronger than Braxton Hicks) for 3 weeks now. My older son was born at 39 weeks.
So what's the hold up?
Well, there's the fact that my husband works a lot of hours, and he's often delivering things in places where his cell doesn't get service, or he may be 45 minutes away. I worry he may not get home in time to get me to the hospital. (My last labor was pretty quick for a first one, and got really intense really quickly. And everyone says this one will go even quicker, especially with the contractions and dilation I've been experiencing.) We do have a back-up plan, a friend who can take me to the hospital, but I really want that to be a last resort. And of course, I really do think I could deliver my own baby if I had to :)
I worry about the logistics of our friends getting our son to take care of him while I'm having the baby. What if they don't answer the phone? If it happens in the middle of the night, how freaked out will DS be when we drag him out of bed at 3 am and take him to the hospital to meet our friends, with me in who knows what kind of state?
My doula had to go out of town unexpectedly last Sunday night. I spoke with her backup on the phone, and she seems equally as marvelous, but still. Doula's coming back today, so that's not really a worry anymore :)
And then, of course, I hate to admit it, but I remember labor not being the most comfortable experience in the world, and I guess I have some fears surrounding that.
Anyway, I'm not sure what my point is. I guess I just needed to vent a little. And I'm wondering if anyone has words of wisdom or suggestions for making my mind quit freaking out my body! Or do you think it's all a bunch of hooey and baby girl's just really not ready?