Elizabeth Pantley's Gentle Removal Method Not Working...How to Get 10 Month Old Asleep without...

[rmmartin]

I have a 10 month old who is very resistant to going to sleep at night.  Once I get her asleep she gets up repeatedly (sometimes every hour) to nurse back to sleep.  I've read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution as an alternative method to leaving her to cry it out and the gentle removal method is not working for my DD.  She just gets escalated and wakes herself up each time I removal my nipple.  Any suggestions on how to deal with this.  I would love to be able to sleep again!

[BabySmurf]

from what i have heard, the pantley pull only works about 50% of the time.  really, only if your child is about ready to give it up.  i've decided that all sleep training methods just give us something to do while our DC become developmentally ready to sleep on their own.  besides setting the stage for good sleep habits, there's not too much we can do.  i think that a lot of the sleep association methods can help prod a baby into sleeping better who is just about there, but we can't really *make* a baby sleep on their own who is not developmentally ready do it. 

my ds 11 months old and we are in the exact same position.  i think that if you are really desperate for sleep you could ask your DP to soothe LO back to sleep...but this will obviously make baby cry because she is used to nursing.  but then she would learn that she doesn't NEED to nurse to go to sleep.  I haven't gotten to the point where I want to put that stress on my DS, DH, or me, so I just keep reminding myself that I can't MAKE him be ready.  argh. 

[Redmom]

 "i've decided that all sleep training methods just give us something to do while our DC become developmentally ready to sleep on their own."

BabySmurf I totally agree with you on this point - sure there are some babies who respond to sleep training - but with our 10 month old, when he has improved (or regressed) it is not due to anything we are doing or not doing.

Dr Sears frequently uses the saying of "not taking credit nor blame" for what our babies are doing, and I think this applies well to sleep.

rmmartin, our 10 month old is a frequent waker.  My husband would rock him to sleep, and we soon learned which wake ups he really needed  a feed vs those that he would "allow" my husband to rock him to sleep.  You could try this, it won't cut down the frequency of wakings but at least your partner can share in the parenting needed to put your little one back to sleep.  (I am making the assumption that you have a DP, if not, I apologize.)

[dejagerw]

I know it's hard now, but it will get better. And you don't necessarily need to do anything different to help get your LO to sleep better. She will start sleeping better when she's ready. I highly suggest cosleeping. It's the surest way for both of you to get sleep at night :)

As a side note, if she's getting upset when you remove the nipple, she isn't ready to give it up. You need to wait longer before trying to remove it. I know sometimes it can take forever.

[rmmartin]

These suggestions and responses are all very helpful!  I don't feel so alone in our sleep training struggles.  There are nights when Pantley's gentle removal starts working well for us but it's not often.  I love that you all point out that babies sleep and night wean when they're ready.  It makes so much sense.  I'm just at the point where I'm exhausted and I'm having a harder time functioning during the day.  I did let her fall asleep at my breast this morning b/c I was sooo tired!  I let my DH put her down for naps (on weekends and later naps) but not nights b/c he works so much and I want him to get rest.  The frustrating thing is she is OUT in seconds with him and it takes me an hour to get her down.  Oh well, this time is short I tell myself....

[milesmama]

Originally Posted by rmmartin  I let my DH put her down for naps (on weekends and later naps) but not nights b/c he works so much and I want him to get rest.  The frustrating thing is she is OUT in seconds with him and it takes me an hour to get her down.  Oh well, this time is short I tell myself....

I'm right there with ya on that! We're still having issues with "gentle removal" at 11 months...but he knows its time to sleep when DH puts him down.

[rmmartin]

What about night weaning?  Shortening the duration of nightly feedings overtime.  Has anyone seen any effectiveness with that without causing your LO stress?