I keep crying uncontrollably...help

[SunnySkies24]

I've had depression and anxiety before, now it's much more anxiety. I feel very scared a lot of the time, have that anxiety feeling in my stomach and almost feel panicked. I've also lost my apetite. Within the past 2 weeks I have been back to my doctor and said I just can't cope with it anymore, trying to be strong but feeling awful inside, so out of desperation I accepted anxiety medication to try, just 10mg to start with. I'll be going back to review how Im feeling with the doctor in another 2 weeks which seems forever away, and hoping he will put my dosage upto 20mg.

It's been just over a week and he said it would take 2 weeks to work, I felt okay for a few days but now I'm extremely anxious again, and what's worse I can't stop crying sometimes. I feel like constantly just barely under the surface is all this crying I'm needing to do, but im trying so hard to be strong and keep it in. Especially around my child. I'm barely able to control this and not cry, it's awful and I don't know what to do. I've told my family about it and they are being sympathetic and supportive. I'm scared I'm going to have a nervous breakdown and completely lose it or something...seriously. I just want to hide away from the world I feel so scared. I wish I could move in with my parents to be honest. I feel worse when I'm alone, which is a lot lately.

I've had a major crying session today while my child was at school, but I'm really worried I'll fall apart in front of him and be crying in a state. I know kids have to see their parents get upset sometimes, but I don't want to lose it infront of him. Not to mention it's the weekend tomorrow, so there will be no chance of hiding my emotions, I really feel at the mercy of them and not in control of them. We at least have plans tomorrow all day, so maybe that will distract me enough to stop all this emotional stuff coming out, but if not I don't know what I'll do because it's a family gathering.

Anyone else been here or have any advice? Is there an anxiety support thread or anything here? Please help

[desertrose]

First I want to tell you that for the past 2 weeks I've had crazy anxiety too. For no apparent reason. It's interesting we're both having it at the same time. I'm sorry it's so bad for you, and I can understand that out of control feeling and having to keep it together in front of the kids.

There's so many things that could be happening with you... if you're crying uncontrollably after being on this medication, I really wonder if you're on the correct medication. If you contact your doctor and tell him what's going on, he may suggest you stop taking it and switch to another medication. I'm never been on anti-anxiety medication but I can't imagine this is a positive reaction.

My question for you is - IS there something you feel like crying about?  IS there something in you, some pain in there, that wants to be heard?

IF this is a case of real emotion being trapped inside you trying to get out, the medication may be only suppressing that emotion more.  Medication certainly won't treat real emotional issues - what I mean is, actual emotions held in the body or emotional memories stored there, or spiritual conflict.

But, chemical or hormonal imbalances - if that is the actual cause - can seem just as heavy as real emotion. It's so hard to know what is real and what is simply a body or mind out of balance. Yet, how we think and our diet and lifestyles also create those very conditions in our bodies and mind.  Excuse me if this is is something you are already well aware of.

I've been in the position where there was no one to take care of the kids while I fell apart - do you have a partner or someone who can help you?  Set aside a time to let it out.  Go to another room and cry if you can't wait. Do you journal?  I often journal at night after the kids have fallen asleep and it helps me get out and sort through my emotions and thoughts.

Anyway, I really think it's the medication doing this, so please get it worked out asap, don't wait another couple weeks. Have you ever tried homeopathy or other therapies? Have you had your thyroid tested or been tested for vitamin deficiencies? What kind of things are you already doing to help yourself?

How are you feeling today? I'm sorry you had to wait so long for a response. I hope you feel better soon!

[jksmith]

I don't have much advice for you other than, try to find a local support group, or least something you can do for yourself weekly to look forward to. Can you take a class, or join a bookclub, or just have lunch with friends? I know my anxiety/ depression was mild, but these are things that helped me. Reach out to the people around you, it's ok to ask for help. I know that I have trouble admitting that I can't do it all, we have to learn to let go of some responsiblity.

[BubblingBrooks]

Sunnyskies, have you read up on gluten allergies and adrenal fatigue?

[goodygumdrops]

First of all, I want to warn you that it's really not a good idea to come online to get advise about anxiety.  There are sooo many people out there that are not familiar with mental illness and medication that are used to treat anxiety.  I'm not addressing anyone specifically on this post but I will tell you from personal experience (and also because I have a huge respect for evidence based practice).  There are many medications that your psychiatrist can prescribe to help you cope with anxiety.  Just having people put the doubt about the medication working in your head is enough to exacerbate your anxiety.  I would recommend signing off for a bit and getting a good book, like the anxiety & phobia workbook.

As for meds...

Primarily doctors prescribe ssri's (lexapro, prozac, celexa, zoloft) for long term anxiety and depression relief.  However, these medications usually take 2-6 weeks to begin working.  During the transition, people can encounter relief or even an exacerbation of symptoms.  This is a normal side effect and does not indicate that the medication is not working.  It's important to listen to your doctor and to keep taking the meds.  In meantime, if your not able to cope, you may ask your doctor for a benzodiazapine(sp?)  These are short term medications that function similar to something like valiuum (sp?).  These are usually xanax, klonopin, others I can't remember.  You may benefit from taking both for a few weeks and then eventually stop taking the benzo. 

When I was at the height of my anxiety, 2 1/2 years back, I was the same as you.  I couldn't even work for 6 weeks cause I so sick physically and mentally.  However, thanks to an amazing psychiatrist, I was able to get a lot support and we tried out a few medication combination before we found the right one.  Now, I have minimal anxiety with breakthrough anxiety occasionally. 

I am not a doctor so don't take my advice literally...It's very important to see a psychiatrist not a general practitioner. 

You will get through this....wash rinse repeat....GIANT HUGS

[amydidit]

I agree with everything goodygumdrops said. Especially about seeing a psychiatrist instead of a general practitioner. A GP is a good place to start but from my experience they aren't the best to stay with for thigns like this.

[jojomamma]

Oh SunnySkies, I feel for you so much. I was in exactly your position last November. I hope you are finding a way to start feeling better. I am finally coming out of my anxiety and panic attacks over the past two months. The medication for anxiety did not work for me and had the same effect as you are describing. However, it did help to nock off the edge and I was able to make faster progress after going off of the medication. This is because the root of my problem is adrenal fatigue. I had to stop nursing my child and allow my body to recover. It is a long process but it is working. Please look into adrenal fatigue and the effects it can have on mental health. I recommend checking out www.adrenalfatigue.org. The site is run by an MD who is a leading authority on adrenal fatigue. Keep in mind that you should continue seeking help from a psychiatrist to keep you balanced until you find the underlying causes of your anxiety. Also check out www.theroadback.org. This is also an MD who provides a nutritional program to help the body heal so that the brain can function properly. You might want to get a saliva test to find out if your adrenal glands are functioning properly. Most naturopathic doctors will help you get this test. i dont recommend trying to address the problem on your own.

What is going on in your life that triggered this? How are your relationships, work, family, etc. I also recommend seeing a life coach. I talked to three therapists over a 2 year period and made absolutely NO progress. I started speaking to a life coach and made a complete recover in only 2 months WITHOUT medication. It turns out that I needed a career change to follow my passions. I can't say if this will work for you. It depends on what triggered your anxiety. Everyone is different. But it is worth a try. Anxiety is usually a sign that something in your life is out of balance. A life coach will help you to discover what is most important to you in your life and how to take step to get the life and balance that you want and need. I will recommend my life coach at this website: www.pacificlifecoach.com . She is fabulous and specializes in working with mothers.

Because of my amazing recovery with a life coach I am now studying to be a holistic health and lifestyle coach.  feel free to send me a PM if you want to discuss this more. I was where you are now not too long ago. I will be happy to help you find the help you need to make a complete recovery. Hang in there! You WILL get through this if you dont give up. We are here for you!