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"Don't got time, mom!"

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

I started EC son (who's now 16 months) on the day he was born. From 3 or 4 days old, we were catching EVERY morning pee/poop in the toilet, and a lot of the daytime eliminations would go there too. 


But once he started crawling (4.5 months), holding him in that position was almost impossible as he would squirm and push to reach anything he can grab on to. In the case of the toilet, it was the toilet lid. If I held him forward facing, he would reach for the toilet paper. 


Our morning routine quickly started turning into misses, and now at 16 months, I CAN NOT get him to sit still. Forget the potty because he stands up and RUNS away, and the "lean, reach, grab" thing on the toilet has just become dangerous. 


We still practice EC, but he won't sit still for anything. I've tried books, toys, ipod (his favorite), and while he will sit still for a short period of time, he's usually too consumed with whatever he's doing to concentrate on eliminating. He's just "on the go", and he wants to get there fast. 


I don't even remember the last time we caught a poop (although I do catch the sign and rush him to the potty, but I'm usually too late, OR by the time I get him sitting he's on the go again). He knows the sign for poop, and he'll occasionally take himself for a "sit", but that's all I can get out of him.


Does anyone have any tips for a child like this? 

post #2 of 8

Have you thought about a toddler urinal that attaches to the toilet? Maybe he would like standing up? Or maybe he would enjoy standing in the bathtub and 'aiming' at a cheerio or something? GL!

post #3 of 8


I tried to answer your post last week but my browser crashed!  Here's a second try:

When we hit a similar sounding stage around 14 mos, we used a combination of backing off and trying very hard not to make pottying a confrontation issue, ie. respecting his communication (and his desire for autonomy), even if it does not lead to a catch.  I wound up putting him back in the waterproof trainers we hadn't used in months so that I wouldn't be so annoyed with puddles, and basically backed way off for several days, even a week at a time, and only offered after sleep or if he obviously signalled. 

These are the strategies that helped things get going again:

For pee, I try not to interrupt what he is doing - I would wait for when he was standing up, gently pull down his underwear and/or pants and put a widemouthed bottle or quart yogurt container under him and let it rip. Or just sort of off handedly strip him and point out a potty strategically placed nearby and say, 'hey, I thought I'd take your pants off in case you need to go' and let him decide if it is right now or in 5 or 10 minutes.  When he was playing sitting down, I just left him be - he never stayed that way for too long.  We do have one of the urinals that riboflavin mentioned - he loved it for a week and then ddint' want anythign to do with it.  Now he uses it periodically if I am going so we can go together.

For poop, I didn't try to get him to sit anymore. When I coudl tell he had to go, I would remove his lower clothing and follow him around with a wide mouthed tupperware and sing funny poop songs we made up to help him relax.  Occassionally, he would wind up pooping on the floor or the ground outside (outdoors always did help him relax BTW).  Now he is generally ammenable to pooping in a potty, though he often won't sit down until the last possible moment.


At around 18 mos, he started having many days with 1 or no misses, with periodic lapses.  Just in the past week or so (22 mos now) he has taken on the responsibility for pottying entirely, so that I do not use timing at all, or ever initiate. He yells 'peeing!' or 'pooping!' when he has to go, and always seems happy to be given a jar or potty at that point.  Most of the time he yells in time for a full catch.  If it has been a really long time since he last went, I say 'hey, its been a really long time - do you need to pee?' and he'll almost always say no, which I accept, and then he'll say 'peeing!' a few minutes later. 

Best of luck! 

post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 

Great ideas! 


I thought about backing off, but there's not much to back off from. LOL! I pretty much gave up on EC entirely (with trying to keep routine - if he sits, he sits. If not, then he gets naked time and we maintain communication) when he started walking. He just runs all. the. time. that it's hard to get him to stop for anything. 


Although right now he's sitting on the living room potty doing a puzzle. 


Maybe I just need to establish more of a routine (and offer less often)? 


He just doesn't have the time, is all! He's a busy kid! Got things to do. ;) 

post #5 of 8

Hi there! So just out of curiosity how are things going? We took a similar route with the whole potty refusal a few months ago. My little guy is taking the lead now and trying to potty a few times a day. So.. my major issue is that I am distracted with the house and the other kids ect.. He is becoming more verbal all the time, but will not sign to potty now.  Any thoughts on how to pull his independent attempts & my efforts together?

post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thanks for checking in! Things aren't much better. EC just never happened with this kid. It was easy from 0-4 months, but once he was on the move that was the end of anything "potty". He is however, now taking his diapers off by himself (putting them on has NEVER been easy, as he just won't sit still), so we've had a few days of naked or "undie" time, but catches are very rare these days. 


My daughter was easy as she would sit for half an hour at a time (if you let her), but she didn't really get it either until she started taking herself at 14 months. And she didn't eliminate on cue until WELL past that (I think it was closer to 18 or 19 months). And when her brother was born (20 months), she regressed. She turned three in September and is now almost fully regressed. She will pee if she HAS to, and we take her on time, but if we're not paying attention (or if she doesn't fight us) she will have both pee and poop misses (with no interest to even walk towards the potty). She could be standing right beside it, and she'll pee on the floor (or poop in her pants). Yesterday she pee'd on her dad. Something she hasn't done in AT LEAST a year. 


But him... he just won't sit. Period. And when he does, he's up and running a few seconds later. 


I'm frustrated. (Trying not to let the kids see though)

post #7 of 8

hug2.gifI know how little understanding people have for EC. Regression is common at that age, my son decided he wouldn't "use words" when he turned three. Don't feel like you can't ever express disappointment  with potty on the floor. I find a simple "oh, no! a mess, now I am busy"  (same as I would with soup on the carpet) helps everyone understand there is stress in a miss but not anger. For me it helps to remember it is potty awareness and some of these milestones are not plain for the all to see. All children eventually decide they want to do what the grown ups do. Just trust your instincts, things will be fine.

post #8 of 8

Hi SGMOM!!!!!  I can't believe he's so old already!!!


With my dd, I used the "bunny potty" and that kept her attention. 


But if you recall, we had a very long period that was basically an extended potty strike, and we just rode it out until all of a sudden she was telling me when she wanted to poop (19 months, I think) and then she pee graduated.



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