I was kind of stunned and unable to do much. Luckily the baby pinked up and made good-sounding snurfling noises right away, which was a huge relief. The cord was very short and I couldn't get her to my chest without hunching over. I managed to turn off the shower and open the plug to drain the couple of inches of bloody water in the tub. We rested for a minute, then I managed to grab the towel off the toilet tank and kind of rub away the vernix a little. I rubbed a little hard to make her cry, she gave a couple of little yelps but calmed down right away. Fingers and toes were all pink by that point anyway. I covered her with the towel and sat in the tub trying to latch her on while we waited for DH to come home.
We think he came in right around 9 AM. He yelled "OK let's go to the hospital!" I called back, "Too late!" He peeked into the shower and got the world's most priceless look on his face. Then he started laughing a little bit. He got us some more towels and we called the midwife, who said we ought to call 911 for a ride to the hospital. I didn't really want a bunch of EMTs charging in just yet and I was really hoping to birth the placenta so I could have a little more mobility - I was still hunched up over the short cord. Eventually we decided there was no way around it and we called 911. The operator sent out the ambulance and started giving DH instructions on how to cut the cord. I said to forget it, EMS could do it when they got here with tools. DH got me a robe and tried to clean up my nether parts a little bit with the sprayer. EMS was there in two minutes anyway - for some reason we got both an ambulance and a fire truck, four or five guys total. They were very nice but definitely a little out of their element. One said I was the calmest mother he'd ever seen, dunno what his sample size was. (I found out later that one of them must have cleaned up my bathtub though - what a guy!!!)
Between four of them and DH they figured out how to cut the cord while one guy looked up Apgar scoring on his iPhone, and then I walked downstairs and got on the gurney. DH followed in the car. Baby did some good nursing in the ambulance. I had several more afterpains but the placenta still wasn't coming.
At the hospital they took the baby away (of course) and we got the placenta out with uterine massage (ow) and a little more pushing. I got a shot of pitocin since it had been in there so long, and had my second degree tear stitched up. After a while I started getting irritated and demanding my kid. Apparently they were keeping her on the warmer because her temperature was low. (No surprise, poor kid - we were both wet and I only had that one little bath towel to cover her with at first.) Anyway I said I'd warm her up just fine and I was going to walk across the hall and get her if they wouldn't bring her back. The nurse relayed that across the hall and baby showed up shortly after that. Baby is wonderful - very peaceful and a good nurser. We are all doing great!
That is so hilarious! I really enjoyed your birth story! You're amazing! Congratulations! 
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