New to all night co sleeping- advice needed

[leafyme]

Hi all!  I'm in need of some advice.  My DD is 6 months old and up until now she's been sleeping in a bassinet beside our bed.  We really wanted to co sleep, but were really nervous about it when she was first born and so only did it in the morning after DH had left the bed for work.  Now that she's bigger and is quickly outgrowing her bassinet I want to transition to co sleeping all night. 

Today I bought a bedrail so we can stop using the bassinet. How does co sleeping work when baby goes to bed before the parents.  Since she's been in her bassinet it's been no problem to put her to bed first.  What is the safest way to put DD to bed first when the bassinet is no longer in use?  I'm assuming putting her in our bed alone (bedrail or not) is not safe.  We could keep her with us until we go to bed, but then we're tiptoeing around and really unable to get things done.  Is there a safe solution?

[katelove]

Hi and welcome to MDC.

We left out daughter in bed by herself (until we came to bed) from somewhere around 5-6 months, I can't remember exactly when. We had bedrails on both sides of the bed and, when she progressed beyond just rolling back and forth between the rails, we put the mattress on the floor. I think that was around 9 months.

We pull the bed clothes back so they're at the foot of the bed and, when she was younger, we'd prop the pillows up against the headboard.

I've never heard/read anything about it not being safe to leave them alone as long as you make the environment safe and you have some way of hearing them - monitor or proximity - if they call you.

[Kobaby]

DS is almost 11 months and I've been leaving him in  bed alone since 2.5 months. We are always within hearing distance, and my super mum ears can hear a change in his breathing before he fully wakes up, even if I'm watching TV. A couple of times lately I've found him sitting up in bed (kind of sleep-walking) but for the most part he is a very stationary sleeper.  We haven't put our mattress on the floor and don't have a bed rail.

[leafyme]

So...perhaps I'm being a bit paranoid then, lol. 

[Ginger Bean]

My 13mo son has slept alone in our bed since coming home from hospital -- even now he does and he can crawl and almost walk.

I think it does depend on the temperament of your baby. I'm not sure I would leave a hard-charging baby in bed alone unless the mattress was on the floor.

But my son doesn't try to crawl off or get out of bed by himself (at least not yet). He cries out for me and either lies there/sits up and waits for me to come.

We have a Snug Tuck barrier pillow on his side of the bed, and I put my pillows on my side when I'm not there. It's been fine so far, but it is quite a low bed.

[azzeps]

Maybe you could put her in her own bed, in your room? and then bring her in your room or bed when she has her first night waking?  Or how about a pack n play next to your bed?  then you won't worry and you won't have to put your mattress on the floor, if you don't want to.  I guess if she sleeps all night, then you won't have an opportunity to bring you into your bed.  Unless you have a steady hand and a deep sleeper!  We are part-time bedsharing with both our kids right now, but they both start out in their own beds in their own rooms because we don't go to sleep at the same time, and eventually it would be nice if they slept all night in there.  I guess we are what you call "reactive co-sleepers" in that we never really planned to bed-share but that's how it turned out and we like it, so we kept it up.  I do worry about my son in the mornings, leaving him in the big bed all alone if he doesn't wake up with the rest of us.  Guess I need to reinstall the bedrail!  I hope you find a solution that works for you!

[Learning_Mum]

I used to leave my boys in bed alone. I took the legs off the bed so it was closer to the floor and when I got up I would lay the pillows down either edge of the bed so if they rolled they wouldn't fall off. Never had any problems with them falling off the bed. I also made sure to teach them as early as possible how to get on and off the bed safely. I also babyproofed the whole room so if they got up there was nothing they could hurt themselves on.

[leafyme]

Thanks for all the replies.

So we've had a few nights with her in our bed and it hasn't gone really well.  She's slept through the night since 6 weeks old (lucky us!), so I assumed sleeping with us would be much of the same.  Not so. 

The first night she slept so lightly and every time I moved she fussed and needed to be soothed, so of course I offered her the breast.  I spent almost the entire night soothing her!  It was awful!  The next night we put her down in her bassinet and brought her into bed when she woke up (which is unusual), again she was very restless and needed soothing.  So after she went back to sleep I moved her back to her bassinet so I could get some sleep.  I've continued bringing her into bed with me in the morning after daddy has got up for work and we sleep soundly and comfortably for an hour or so before we get up for the day.

I think I might use her pack and play beside the bed and move her to our bed if/when she wakes in the night.  I'm not going to force to full time cosleeping if it means neither of us get a good night's sleep, but I'm hoping that if I continue to bring her into bed that it'll naturally evolve into longer and longer periods until we're comfortably sleeping all night.