Non-supportive family - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Annie Mac]

Thanks Averysmomma. I don't actually think she'll be smitten at all. She's not that fussed about the 18 month old, has only seen her a handful of times and has yet to buy her a gift of any sort - birth, Christmas, birthday...nothing. Maybe she feels like she did her Grandma duty with my oldest. She was a very involved Grandma back then. Now she's a strange old lady. Strange enough that I wonder sometimes about things like early onset Alzheimers, but she's basically the same person, just way exaggerated, with an extra dose of snarky. In any case, I've processed it. It's OK now :)

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by Annie Mac 

Thanks Averysmomma. I don't actually think she'll be smitten at all. She's not that fussed about the 18 month old, has only seen her a handful of times and has yet to buy her a gift of any sort - birth, Christmas, birthday...nothing. Maybe she feels like she did her Grandma duty with my oldest. She was a very involved Grandma back then. Now she's a strange old lady. Strange enough that I wonder sometimes about things like early onset Alzheimers, but she's basically the same person, just way exaggerated, with an extra dose of snarky. In any case, I've processed it. It's OK now :)

You know, more and more women REALLY ARE having babies later in life...I was just reading a really interesting article, can't remember where it was, but it was talking about this very thing. Just as more and more women in their forties are having babies....women in there FIFTIES having babies are up, like, some crazy percentage....like 300/and something %, maybe the figure was even higher than that. Whether it's that a woman has a new husband and wants to have children with him because the relationship is so wonderful...or that a woman is finally ready to be a little more low key with her career and is thinking of what she "gave up" to pursue it in the first place. That...and the article was talking about how women these days in their forties can be as fit if not MORE fit than there 30-something counterparts and how it's no longer true for many women, that forty marks the beginning of physical decline....many women in their forties are in better shape than ever.

Anyway, what I'm getting at, is that having a baby later in life than women historically have in large numbers is something that is perfectly acceptable and for many reasons preferable for many. But someone from your mothers generation may not understand it. It was kind of a "weird" thing for women, back in the day, having babies later. Women are doing it now more than EVER in large numbers....but maybe your mom is all old-school about it and just doesn't understand why you would want to. Or maybe she's just turning into a cranky old fusspot.

[YvonneC-M]

I'm so sorry, Annie Mac, about your mother's lack of support. Especially her neglect of your toddler. That hurts. My own mother is getting more and more fearful of life as she gets older, and I think it's that growing anxiety that makes her so negative. It has nothing to do with me or my family. Maybe your mother's crankiness is similar.

There are moments when I wish I'd had children earlier in life, but the truth is that, until I met my husband, I was too restless to have kids. If I'd had kids earlier, I probably would've felt trapped and unhappy. At this stage of my life, I don't at all regret having to stay home and take care of my DD (or being too tired to do anything but stay home). I'd rather be with my DD than anywhere else.