Hi. I don't post often but I read here a lot.
The short version is that I have been married to an alchohlic who is verbally at sometimes physically abusive for 17 years. We have four children, ages 16-7. My 16 yo dd is 22 weeks pregnant. My husband is preparing to retire and it home 99% of the time which makes things very tense. Anyway, my questions are not about the relationship. I know (and have known for quite some time that things are not getting better, he is not willing to work on anything etc.
My huge dilema. I have been a sahm our entire marriage. Going out now and looking for a job would mean my dd wouldn't get the help with the baby she needs while schooling, etc. And with my dh home so much he's not going to be a help and things are just overall tense between them. Am I just making excuses? I don't know if my desire to be here and help her are clouding what I need to just suck it up and do, kwim?
I have no friends here and although I could go stay with my mom or cousin in other states, my dd has already said she does not want to leave the father of her baby and move. Well, I'm not leaving her here either.
If I were to go file for divorce, how would that work? With me having no income? No where to go? I know I could not afford to stay in our current home and I don't really care about that. But, how do you go and look for a place to rent when you have no income? Would I need to stay in the home until the divorce is final? These things have held me back every time I think about finally leaving. Also everything we own is in his name, the house, bank account (which I have no access to) vehicles, etc. UGH this is so hard. I feel like I am stuck and will never be able to get out. I live in CO by the way.