Hi everyone, happy new week! I have moved into the mostly feeling good and having some energy phase and it is sooooo much better! Hope everyone is doing well?
Weekly chat Oct 17-24
Things are getting better each day here too. I finally figured out why I sleep some nights and not others (my uterus seems to go through spurts...like in the last 3 days it's gone up two finger widths...and when those are occurring I don't sleep, when it's over I do again). That should make it a little easier to tolerate the sleep-less nights at least, knowing in a few days it'll be over again.
Starting to have a little trouble with sugar, but it was expected. I've had GD in all of my pregnancies, so we'll cut back on certain types of carbs now.
I'm SO grateful though, this is the first pregnancy I've ever made it to 16 weeks without having some sort of contractions. They were uncomfortable and made worse with stress or walking. I even had best rest for at least a short time in 3 out of the 4 pregnancies. This time, nothing so far...hopefully it's due to less extended family stress and will remain this way :)))))
I feel like such a mess this pregnancy. It's hard to even find the words to explain it to myself. I know that I've griped about being tired. So I had my thyroid checked. My TSH is at 2.95 but my T3 and T4 are completely normal. After I found that out I felt like a total idiot. I still don't think that my level of exhaustion is normal but what the heck do I know. I did have a better weekend than the previous week but DH is back home. Pretty sure he has to leave again in 2 weeks. I will probably spend as much time at my mom's as possible.
I think that I must have a bit of "pregnancy depression". It seems to get worse with every pregnancy. DH doesn't understand but I've been trying to explain things. During these times our marriage issues intensify for me. Everything that's not perfect suddenly seems horrendous and worthy of a big blowup. I think that a main contributor to this is that we live VERY near DH's family.... .and an hour away from mine. All of his siblings are near us but his parents live next door. Before we got married DH's mother decided to hate me for some reason. I honestly did nothing but love her son. I've just come to the conclusion that she is a miserable person and wants everyone to feel that way around her. So needless to say, when DH is gone I don't even get as much as a call to see if we are hanging in there. I think that is the worst. Add that to the fact that DH has a 50 minute commute and we could move closer to his work and my family but he pretty much refuses to talk about it.
I'm rambling. I've just had a lot on my chest lately and not everyone understands.
Other than that. I'm feeling a bit better with stomach issues here and there. My only cure for a headache is 2 extra strength tylenol followed by a bit of caffeine. I'd really love a massage right about now. I'm 15 weeks and am loving that I've been feeling occasional movement from 12 weeks on. I can't wait to find out what this baby will bring to our family!
Adoremybabe, wow! You do have a lot going on. As far as the in-laws goes, I had a similar issue with my husband's sisters. Me and his mom get along wonderfully but his sisters were complete B's when we started dating - talked about me behind my back, accused me of stealing, complained about every little thing I did. Nothing to my face of course, all behind my back as they are bunch of passive aggressive jerks. Sense a little animosity! Finally my husband had enough of it and had it out with them then cut them off for long time. They normally talk all the time so this was a big deal. They eventually apologized and appear to have mostly moved on, but I still see those tendencies come out every once in a while. I am just aware of it and deal with it as needed. As the outsider there is nothing I could have done to fix the situation. My husband had to do it. Just a thought.
Do you think if you sat down with your husband and wrote out the positives and negatives of moving closer to his work and your family he would be more dispassionate and be more open. My husband and I make +/- lists all the time to come to decisions and it really helps.
So I had crazy pregnant lady moment this weekend. I wasn't completely off my rocker, but the hormones were flowing!
When my husband needs a good night's rest and doesn't think he will get it he likes to take an Ambien. It happens maybe 2-3 times a month. Unfortunately, if he takes one and then lies in bed facebooking or watching TV he gets loopy and then proceeds to harass me constantly, keeping me up for 2-3 hours. He will be in a daze, semi-sleeping but grabbing me, touching my hair, moving all over the place etc. After the 3 hour "LEAVE ME ALONE!" marathon where I didn't sleep until midnight and then woke up at 2 am due to my insomnia and couldn't get back to bed the rest of the night I told him he was to never do that again. If he takes an Ambien he is to go to bed immediately. He agreed, no problem. Well, a couple weeks later he does it again and keeps me awake all night again. That morning I had it. I told him as his punishment the next time he wanted to take Ambien he was going to sleep in the guest room. Maybe then he would remember to go to sleep after taking it. Again he agrees. I hide his Ambien just to make sure.
Well, Thursday night he wants to take a pill. I tell him, no problem, but he has to sleep in the guest room. He isn't having it and we end up in a semi-serious pillow fight. He remembers he has a secret stash and goes and takes one. I retaliate by pouring water on his side of the bed. My husband and I have a history of water fights. They are fun and harmless. I don't know how many times we have been in a car and ended up soaked head to toe, balled up in fits of laughter. Well this was not one of those funny, ha-ha moments for him. He pours water all over me and I get PISSED because he broke his promise once and is now not abiding by our agreement. Lots of yelling ensues, I'm crying, more water thrown about. He ends up in the guest bed mostly because our bed is completely soaked but I am NOT sleeping with him so I'm trying to find the driest part of the bed when he comes back in and begs me to come sleep with him in the guest room. No apology but we both realized it wasn't worth it. I did tell him, do it again and I will take it as a sign that he wants a divorce I think he learned his lesson to not mess with a pregnant woman's sleep.
Still feeling great over here. Not sick, lots of energy. How long does this stage last? I like it much more than 3 months of throwing up.
On other notes, I think I can feel baby. I am not sure, its my first, but sometimes I get this weird feeling around where she found the heartbeat. I will have to wait though to see if that's really what it is.
NicMom - You just gave me a great visual. I hope that for your sake, your DH keeps his promise from now on!
It's funny that you mention your DH's sisters. My DH's has one sister and she is also a big fat B just like his mother. She has been disruptive ever since we got engaged. I knew that the mother and daughter were both pills but it got very heated 3 weeks before our wedding. Like you, evil rumors were spread amongst our little community before people even got to know me. I'll put it this way, dealing with these two women has been harder than dealing with the sudden death of my father 9 years ago. It's their loss but I have a feeling that once my children are old enough to figure things out on their own, they too will see the negatives.
I've been praying a lot on this whole subject... mainly that DH's heart opens to change so that when I have the right words and mindset we can talk rationally about everything. Right now I am just trying to find ways to stay connected.
Thanks so much for your advice and for sharing your experience.
dealic, it's probably the baby you feel. yay!. you'll be good for months, near the end you sometimes feel huge and uncomfortable.
adoremybabe- i second the pros/cons list. I do not speak to my mil or step FIL anymore. We live closer to them then to my dad or my awesome FIL and step MIL. I will stay here but told hubs if he starts traveling for work again we were moving closer to family i like! It's sucky being in the situation you are in and I hope your Hubs will see how nice it would be for you to be closer to your family...and his work, travel time alone would be great b/c he could be home more.
Nicmom- hope he finally figures itout, sometimes it's ridiculis what drastic measures one has to take to convince a party we are serious about something.
AFM- I got food poisoning last night, no fun, the baby didn't like it either. I was glad though b/c s/he was moving around reassuring me that despite my intense pain babe was still alive. started this morning tired and now my bowels are revolting. fun times.
Finally feeling better here too!! Thank goodness. I'm so hungry these days though! I get ravenous and then I eat about a third of what I've prepared and I'm stuffed, go figure. I'm glad that I'm able to prepare meals now, less convenience foods and that's a plus. I'm so sorry about all the family drama, I'm thankful that mine isn't that serious. I have my midwife appointment this week and I can't wait to hear this sweet girl's heartbeat again. I can't believe we are so far along already. These next couple months are going to fly!
I was finally able to plan a week's meals and cook this week! I prepared food for the whole week on sunday (I must admit that I'm a little proud of myself) hehe.
All the inlaw talk has me feeling a little better about the fact that I dont speak with my inlaws either...at least i'm not alone! It's a bit easier for me though, since they live about 1500 miles away. My parents live in the same neighborhood with us, so thats a big help.
All in all, i'm doing well, today. definitley having more "pregnant" moments than before, and I don't know about other 2nd time + mamas, but i feel much more pregnant at 16 weeks this time than i did the first time...
is anyone else preparing for birth or attending birth classes yet? i will be using hypnobabies again, but just wondering what else is out there?
chiro - We are planningon going to hypnobabies class starting late Jan. How did your last birth go, and what did you think of hypnobabies? In addition for labor prep for you, was it good for your partner? (DH isn't a reader and researcher like I am, and will probably get most of his baby care and labor information from me or this class...)
I would love to do hypnobabies but no one does a class in the area. Instead, we are taking a course called "Birthing Your Way". It focuses on the stages of labor and having a birth that is in your control no matter what choices you need to make for pain management and/or if things don't go as planned. We did the Bradley method last time and I just don't feel I got a lot out of it.
On another note, I had my first midwife appointment today and it was great. The heartbeat was 159bpm and sounded really strong. I am so happy that I found this midwife to work with! She is friendly, open and warm. Totally someone I would want in the room while giving birth.
Chiro - I honestly hadn't thought about retaking a birth class again.... but maybe I should. Hmm. We did Hypnobirthing last time which is probably similar to hypnobabies. I figured I'd just re-read the book and listen to the CD again.
2nd time+ mamas... do you/will you be taking birth classes again?
Took Lamaze first time, it did nothing. I agree with adoremybabe, I got much more from the texts read by midwifery students. Once I started to feel comfortable with the process and heard of certain methods (like the wonderful low groaning sound that opens things instead of a high pitched scream which tenses and closes things), the better prepared I felt and the more I felt in control of the birth. MUCH better than Lamaze for me.
We took a useless hospital based class the first time. I may attend a series of classes offered by a local midwife at a parenting cafe near-by, but it is the same night of the week as my knitting group meets, so chances are just as good that I will not attend. Just finished up the first half of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I was recommended a couple of other books by birth nerd and midwifery student friends also that I will read. I may consider a Hypnobirthing class offered locally...I am feeling wishy-washy about it currently.
RosieL -- my hubby was a complete skeptic in the beginning, but by the 2nd class he was all in. he LOVED it. It made him feel involved and helpful, both during prep and actual labor. it made him more comfortable with the idea that birth is normal and that helped him relax. It also made him feel like he could contribute significantly, as he quickly learned how to calm me instantly. It was amazing. Our birth was relaxed and peaceful, just as we wanted. I LOVED it. It really helped us bond and it gave me great calm through the pregnancy.
belac--you can do hypno classes at home, they have a home study kit you can order
I am just listening to the cd's and reading the scripts again, there aren't any formal classes offered in our area
I didn't do a class for DD because there wasn't anything in the area. This time, there still is nothing in the area (even though we've moved) so I'm considering hypnobabies self study. I think hypnobirthing might be too much for me, but I haven't looked in to it that much yet. I gave all of my birth books to a friend, so I might need to see if our library has anything.
Nicmom, I think I would still be pissed at your DH. And I know exactly where you're coming from with the ambien, my ex would do that and be wacked out of his mind. Hopefully he was apologetic in the morning.
adoremybabe, I'm going to be the voice of dissent and say I wouldn't work toward any major changes (like a move) right away. I'm really nutty when I'm pg, and I might not make good decisions in this condition! But it might be useful a little down the road--that being said, I would definitely try to separate yourself a bit from the inlaws. Maybe they'll get the hint? Tell DH you just need a break from them? Grr. Sorry you're dealing with all of this. Hopefully getting your thyroid straightened out will be a step towards everything getting better for you.
dealic, yay for feeling baby! My guess is if you feel the same sensation more than one or two days in a row, that's baby!